OMG WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?!?!

Hi Guys!

The last couple of days have been very busy. While the great job hunt rages on, the great freelance hunt is going rather well *KNOCKS ON MANY PIECES OF WOOD* so I'm pretty confident that sooner or later I will find a job.

In the meantime the question of that day comes of a bunch of small children whom I was working with today "Why are you walking with a cane?" The question of how do I explain my disability to strangers is actually pretty easy to answer.

First off, I really don't mind when strangers ask what is wrong with me. While it's not exactly their business to know I figure I might as well educate people when given the opportunity. But I have developed a system for answering this question, so without further adieu I give you... HOW CRIPPIE ANSWERS THE "Y U A CRIPPLE" QUESTION

1) If a child asks- Kids don't need to know why I use a cane nor will they understand. I just say "I hurt my leg" if the child is reallllllyyyyy young I say "I have a bad boo-boo on my leg"

2) If a wise-ass child/teenager asks- These people are being rude, I reply with a snarky comment like "Shark attack" or "I'm just too damn awesome to walk" occasionally I will say "Dick Cheney shot me"

3) If someone I sorta know asks me- They know me well enough to get a real reason, I say I have a genetic disorder

4) When a friend asks me- There's no reason for me to hide information from them, thus they get the whole shabang

5) When some elderly person who I have never seen before comes up to me in the grocery store and asks what's wrong with me (which has happened a little too frequently)- They are generally curious to see if I am more crippled than they are, I say "I have a bad hip" and then if all goes well said elderly person and I will discuss how much having arthritis sucks.

So that is the basic breakdown of what I say to whom, but basically if you are nice to me when you are asking, you will get a nice answer. If you are being a dick I will troll you right back!

I've been volunteering at a theatre camp for the past month (hence where the kids came from), in honor of the ending of the summer theatre camp I've made a playlist of my favorite broadway showtunes! I put the one's with swears first so if you don't want to listen to swears skip the first 5 songs... enjoy!


Crippie's Tippie- Don't be mad a cripples who tell you crazy stories of how they became cripples, it's just our ways of messing with normals