Well, There's Your Problem

'Ello

The Mama Pig Update - Mama continues to stabilize. She still not 100% back to normal. I'd probably say she's about 90%. Crippie is gonna monitor her throughout the day tomorrow since I don't have work. Since Mama Pig is feeling better I can finally devote more time to my other piggies. Tonight I was chilling with Nellie. Nellie missed all the snuggles.

I call this look "Stare Vacantly at the Wall While Mommy Gives Me Rubs"

Crippie was supposed to have her second MRI in a few hours. BUT we ended up canceling it. Why? Because the people at the radiologist's office called us and said that the first MRI should provide my doctor with all of the information he needs. Crippie is gonna pick up the MRI disc tomorrow and send it to my doctor. If this is the case, that my problems are so blatantly obvious that a second MRI is not needed... CRIPPIE REALLY WANTS TO KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON! Crippie is pretty sure that Fanny is pressing on the sciatic nerve but I have no clue with what's causing my sitting problems. I really hope the answer is super obvious and more importantly, super easy to treat. Although, Crippie is being very cautious about this new development of sorts, cause let's face it, the radiology office could just be seeing tumors and assuming that they are the cause of my problems. Once Crippie's ortho sees the images from my first MRI he'll let us know whether I need another MRI or not. 

The heat wave has been continuing by me. It was again insanely hot on Tuesday. Crippie shockingly decided to wear shorts to work (it's hot and our dress code is very relaxed). I'll admit even though I am ok with showing my legs and my scars to random people, I was afraid that my coworkers would notice all my scars. Yes, I already walk with a cane so it's kinda obvious that something ain't right... but I don't like having my coworkers know the extent of my crippledness. I'm afraid that once I make it really obvious people will always treat me "special". For now they treat me like any other coworker, I like being treated like a normal and I thought showing my scars might jeopardize that. That being said, it was insanely hot and my office is full of windows and not so stellar AC. So, Crippie again decided to put on her big girl panties, suck it up, and put on the damn shorts. Much to my surprise no one noticed or cared about my legs! No one said a word to me, no one asked what happened to my leg, NOTHING! Well, I could tell that someone was staring at my leg at one point... but still... not bad. Crippie has to remember that adults have better things to do than notice my legs. That's probably one of my favorite parts about being surrounded by adults, they treat me like a normal human being. I reckon I'm still transitioning from being around younger, dumber people who would treat me like crap because of the whole cripple thing. 

Before I depart for the night, Crippie has to give a quick shout out to my Mom & Dad. Yesterday was their 25th wedding anniversary! Happy Silver Anniversary!!! <3

Crippie's Tippie - Just because a problem is visible to you, that doesn't mean that everyone else will notice it.

Piggie Post - Beat The Heat

Greetings!

Crippie hopes all of her crippled comrades enjoyed their weekends. Today (yesterday, whatever) was again stupidly hot. I didn't do a whole lot today, I mainly rested and played with the pets. Crippie did manage to take Mama Pig out for a drive. My sister needed some driving practice so this seemed like a perfect time for Mama Pig to tag along. Everything for the most part went as planned, Mama freaked out and pooped. One thing I stupidly did not think about was how hot it was going to be in the car. It was well over 90 degrees outside and an air conditioner will only go so far. Guinea Pigs are very sensitive to heat and a heat stroke can easily kill them. I realized this when Mama Pig had calmed down in the car and fell asleep. At most it could've been 85 degrees in the car while we were driving around (driving slowly so the AC isn't too strong). Luckily she wasn't exposed to the heat for a terribly long period of time. When Crippie returned home Mama Pig was wiped out. She went straight into her cage and passed out in a tunnel. After I observed her for a few minutes I realized that she didn't look happy and was probably really hot and uncomfortable. So, Crippie took the following steps to revive Mama Pig.

1) Get some cold water and put it a little bowl
2) Get an ice cube or two and put in the water
3) Let the water get really cold for a minute
4) Syringe feed the pig the water (1 or 2 cc's)
5) When you're done feeding the pig, use your fingers or the syringe to put some water on the pig itself. Just enough so the pig is slightly damp and cooled down, not so much that the pig is soaked

I cannot begin to tell you guys how much Mama Pig enjoyed this treatment. When I took her out of her cage to be fed she was tired and not happy. She started purring the instant that she starting drinking. She gobbled up the water, purred while she swallowed, and demanded more. I used the syringe to drop little drops of water on to her skin and then massaged them in. She purred even more while I was doing this. It was pretty much a non-stop purr-fest. When I was done Mama Pig looked refreshed and happy. I continued to give her freezing cold water periodically over the next hour or so just to be on the safe side. Crisis averted.

It's hot in here Mommy! 

Now, when it does get hot like this piggie owners need to make sure their pigs stay cool. When I'm not almost accidentally killing pigs I try to make sure that they are always cool when they're in their cages. We have an AC unit in the room next to them which makes for a very pleasant overall temperature, and their cages are placed near a ceiling fan, which we constantly have running on low to keep air circulating around them. Pig owners need to have a plan B for the event of a black out or a broken AC unit. Crippie's plan B includes the following...
1) Reusable cold packs are kept in my freezer at all times, in the event of a black out they would be covered with a sock or some form of fabric and put in the cages.
2) Freezing cold water - ice cubes in their water bottles to keep them refreshed
3) Portable fans placed very closely to the cage
4) Give 'em a cold-ish bath if all else fails

Also, during the summer months Piggies enjoy their frozen treats. Watermelon, blueberries, carrots, cucumbers, etc make fantastic summer treats. My piggies love watermelon more than life itself.

Crippie's Tippie - If it's really hot outside... KEEP YOUR PIG'S INSIDE AND COOL

Screw It, I'm Puttin' Shorts On

Crippie has oodles of things to discuss with y'all!

First and foremost, Crippie hopes everyone is enjoying their Memorial Day weekend. While we are enjoying our time off, let us take a moment to remember everyone who gave their lives for this country. May they rest in peace. 

The Mama Pig Update - Mama is continuing to stabilize. She had two whole days without monitoring! I monitored her for about 2 hours today, she wasn't gassy at all and she was able to poop. She's not completely recovered yet, and I'll probably take her for a drive tomorrow to really get the gears going. Crippie cannot even begin to tell you guys how relieved I am that she is improving. When she first got sick I thought I was gonna lose her. It's been a rough couple of weeks with her, but all the work and worrying seems to have paid off. Crippie really can't say this enough, pigs are hard work. If I hadn't done anything to help Mama she wouldn't be here now. 

Next, it has come to my attention that I am probably offending a bunch of people by calling people without disabilities "Normals". To the readers who are offended... I'm sorry if I am offending you, but I just as I use the word "cripple" I mean no harm. I like to think of it like Harry Potter. There are people who possess magical powers (witches and wizards) and people who do not possess magical powers (muggles). It is easier to say "muggle" versus "people who do have magic powers". Yes, Crippie is well aware that just because a person is not disabled that doesn't mean they are normal and that their lives are full of sunshine are unicorns. I know that there is no such thing as a normal person and that everyone is messed up in some way or another. But for the purposes of this blog, which mainly pertains to disability it makes sense to classify people who have disabilities and people who don't.

I call people without disabilities "Normals" simply because I couldn't find a better word for 'em. Believe me I thought about it. Crippie thought about "Healthy" but that didn't really make sense. "Able-bodied" was also in the maybe pile, but that sounded like I was excluding people with mental illnesses. Someone jokingly said I should call 'em "Bloods" but that would have been reaaaaaaalllllyyyy racist and offensive. If anyone can come up with a better name please let me know. I'd love to see what y'all come up with. 

Moving on, I don't know about you guys, but it was really freakin' hot today. So hot that Crippie needed to wear shorts. Why is that such a big deal? Because my legs aren't exactly my best asset and I don't particularly care for exposing them. Crippie's general approach to clothing would be to highlight the assets and minimize the less awesome parts of you. Anything above the knee tends to make the imperfections in my legs more obvious, so I usually stick to knee length skirts and shorts. I'm  not saying "OMG my legs are sooooooo ugly and deformed I hate them", but everyone has a not so awesome "problem area" and mine is my legs. But the today's heat called for above the knee shorts. So Crippie put on her big girl panties, and then put on her only pair of above the knee shorts. I must say, it felt kinda liberating. Sure, my legs are still not awesome, but I really do not give a crap! Crippie will always notice and focus on the problems with my legs, but most normals don't see anything wrong with 'em... well... except for the giant scar running down my leg, but I think of that as a conversation piece. To prove my point, here's Crippie's leggies... and yes, for Crippie those are really short shorts (modesty is the best policy!)

My conversation piece, it's won several scar wars

My leggies

Left leg, showin' off three of my surgical sites. 

I thought I had mosquito bites on my leg, turns out they are tumors on my ankle, SWEET! 

See, even though I see a lotta things wrong with my legs I can recognize that they're not terrible. Who knows, maybe I'll wear a skirt without tights to work this week! SCANDALOUS! 

Random, I finally saw "The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo". Crippie loved it, especially the opening graphics, sooooooooooo shnazzzzzzy.

Crippie's Tippie - Chances are your body doesn't suck as much as you think it does

Crippie (Finally) Has An MRI

Ohaiiiiii

The Mama Pig Update - Mama Pig was stable today, and more importantly very perky and happy. She had lots of noms and was overall very active. I opted to just keep her in the cage tonight. I checked on her around midnight and she was still very happy, active, and hungry. All very good things because if she was uncomfortable she'd be a sad little pig. I'll have time this weekend to observe her more extensively.

Now on to the big event of the day... MRI #1: Right Hip. Crippie had a very pleasant experience. All the people there were super nice. I had a very interesting conversation with the person who was asking me all the basic questions...
Tech - So you have a genetic disorder?
Crippie - Yup
Tech - How many surgeries have you had?
Crippie - 10
Tech - And this is your first MRI?
Crippie - Yup
Tech - How the hell did you avoid an MRI for this long?
Crippie - No clue

Since Crippie planned ahead and didn't wear anything metal, I didn't have to change into a gown, YAY ME! So while Crippie was waiting for the MRI I did what any mature adult would do, I took some pictures of myself making funny faces.

Once the MRI was available two techs came to help Crippie get settled. I mentioned my concerns about Fanny so they got some extra cushioning, without it I would have been very uncomfortable. After I got all comfy they let me pick out some music... this also involved a funny convo
Tech 1 - Okay, I know it's nothing spectacular, but we've got Billy Joel, Elton John, Classical Music, and something else that Crippie forgot
Crippie - Elton John please
Tech 2 - Do you say that to all the people here?
Tech 1 - What"
Tech 2 - The whole nothing spectacular thing?
Tech 1 - I guess... Why?
Tech 2- You've probably offended sooooooooooooooooo many of our patients
Crippie - *sarcastically* OMGGGGG I like Elton John and Billy Joel... you're meeeeeeeaaaaaaannnnn
Tech 2 - See

The MRI itself was a breeze. The noise that everyone was telling me about was very much bearable. Some of the vibrations felt a little weird, but they didn't hurt or anything. The only thing that was a tiny bit uncomfortable was that shield thing they put over my hip, but even that wasn't terrible. Crippie just looked at the ceiling and hummed along with "Rocket Man", and 6 Elton John songs later the MRI was over! I'll admit I was teensy bit light-headed when I left, that went away in about 20 minutes or so. But hey, overall I'd say it was a very pleasant experience.

After the MRI Crippie went to work for a few hours, then I came home and rested for the remainder of the day. I can't' wait to get my results, my hip is freakin' killing me.

Crippie's Tippie - Be vocal about your concerns when having any type of procedure or test done. 

Any News Is Good News

Greetings

The Mama Pig Update - Mama Pig seems to be stable during the days. She's got a spark in her eyes and is very spritely. Nighttime is still an issue though. She was very gassy while I was monitoring her tonight. I guess it's good that she's able to pass it, but it shouldn't be there in the first place. I'm tempted to give her more anti-gas medicine tomorrow... maybe. On the bright side she was still very perky while I was monitoring her. She had lots of treats and took a few poops. Maybe I'll take her out for a drive over the weekend to scare some crap outta her. Overall, not much change with the poops, but she is getting perkier... which is very reassuring.

Eight hours from now Crippie will be in that nifty MRI machine. Crippie can't say that she's worried though. I'm definitely curious as to what this "sound" that everyone keeps telling me about will be like and if I can tolerate it. My only concern would be if  I'd have to sit on a hard surface with no cushioning, purely because Fanny the Ass Tumor is freakin' huge and it hurts when I have to lie down on anything hard. I also wonder what the MRI technician will say when he/she sees my scan. When Crippie had a body scan done a few years back the technician was like "WTF". The guy was not expecting to see my skeleton in that condition to say the least :D

People have asked me if I'm worried about the results of these MRI's. Honestly, Crippie isn't worried. Something is wrong with my hips, that's pretty obvious. Since there is no "GREAT NEWS, YOUR MRI SHOWS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU" scenario... Crippie has braced herself and accepted that something is wrong, something will more than likely be found on the MRI, and I will need surgery to correct it. Even though Crippie is pretty sure that the results of this MRI will be "Ohaiiii, that giant tumor on your ass is irritating your sciatic nerve... it needs to come out". There are other possibilities, like other sneaky tumors causing the problem, but I don't think that's the case. In this instance, any new that tells me what's going on is good news.

That's not to say there couldn't be bad news here, Fanny's somewhat rapid growth makes her a special, higher risk tumor. With MHE, there is always a chance that your tumors could become cancerous. I've had special high-risk tumors before and thankfully I've had them removed before they had the chance to become bone cancer. Worst case scenario of this MRI is that I find out that Fanny is malignant. If that's the case surgery would be muuuuuucccccchhhhhhhh sooner rather than later. Although *knock on wood* I doubt that Fanny is cancerous, she doesn't cause me any real pain.

At the end of the day... my hip freakin' hurts, I want it to stop hurting. I don't care if it means having my 11th surgery and a scar on my ass. I'm not worried about having surgery. I don't care about the week or two of pain. I want my damn hip to stop hurting all the time. This is why Crippie is not nervous, Crippie is busy focusing on getting rid of the pain. Keep your fingers crossed for me my fellow crippled comrades!

Crippie's Tippie - Might seem obvious, but dress appropriately for an MRI, absolutely no metal. Crippie is wearing leggings, a tunic, and shoes with no metal.

Let the MRI's Begin!

Yo!

The Mama Pig Update - Crippie had Mama Pig out for monitoring twice today. The first time was in the mid-afternoon. She was very perky and in a very poopie mood. That was certainly reassuring to see that during the day she is more or less normal. The second monitoring was at night. Crippie decided to give her a verrrrryyyyyy small amount of baby anti-gas medicine. The medicine does cause some loose poopies so Mama Pig wasn't terribly happy. It's one of those things where it sucks temporarily but will be good for her in the long run. She was definitely less gassy by the time I put her back in the cage. If y'all are wondering, you can tell a pig is gassy by flicking their tummies. It might sound cruel but if a pig is gassy you hear a very hallow echo when you flick them. Hopefully tomorrow she'll start feeling a little better. We're also have to do some laundry tomorrow so she'll be sitting on top of the washer for awhile. If the whole no pooping trend continues Crippie's next move will be to put Mama Pig in her piggie carrier, put her in my car, and drive around for a while. The car's vibrations can help her tummy plus the car ride would scare the crap out of her, figuratively and literally. I've heard that people have had a lot of success of people helping their pigs by scaring the living daylights out of them. As for the whole "potential ovarian cyst" issue, Crippie is monitoring her and waiting to see if she shows more symptoms. The main symptom Crippie is waiting for is basically a PMSing pig. If Mama had cysts she'd be a hormonal wreck. So far she's been the same old, kind and docile Mama.

A very pooped out Mama Pig

Crippie can't thank y'all enough for your kind words over the past couple of days, your support means so much to me. Mama Pig also appreciates all the purrs and ninja vibes. Having the support of others definitely makes life easier.

Well, it took 20 days but Crippie was finalllllyyyyyyyy able to make appointments for her MRI's. They couldn't do my pelvis and my hip MRI's at the same time so I'll have to go on two separate days. I'm getting my hip MRI on Friday and my pelvic MRI next Thursday. YIPPIEEEEE! Crippie isn't nervous about the pending MRI's and their results. I'm more curious than anything. Crippie thinks Fanny the Ass tumor is the cause of my sciatica, but will the MRI agree? Crippie is reaaallllyyyyyy curious about the pelvic scan because I have no freakin' idea what's going on there. My doctor thinks it's because I'm skinny and I sit a lot, but sometimes it literally feels like I'm sitting on a rock. Only time will tell I reckon. The MRI's don't require contrast dye so I'm rather happy about that.

So that's pretty much all that's going on here, I'm gonna try and get a picture of Mama on the washing machine tomorrow ;)

Crippie's Tippie - I know it seems like a horrible idea... but sometimes scaring the bejeezus out of a pig can be helpful. Apart from the whole pooping issue it can help with a difficult introduction (they pigs focus on being scared and not hating eachother, they also bond about being so damn scared). 

Crippie Says The Darndest Things!

Ohaiiiiiii

The Mama Pig Update - It was another off night for Mama Pig. I took her out for monitoring and she was gassy and not pooping again. I did the toothbrush massages and forced her to wee a little and eventually she pooped. While I was massaging Mama I noticed that she is experiencing some hair loss on her sides. I went on the internet to see what in the hell was going on and I didn't get any clear answers. Generally speaking hair loss on a female guinea pig's sides screams Ovarian Cysts. The thing is she doesn't display any other symptoms of ovarian cysts... at all. Crippie will continue to observe her to see if I notice any of the other symptoms of cysts. I really hope she doesn't have cysts, they have nothing to do with her current issues. My gut is telling me that Mama Pig is pulling the hair out because her tummy hurts. Crippie is gonna change her game plan a little... I'm gonna stop using the toothbrush as a precaution (I dunno if it could rupture a cyst) and will switch to letting Mama Pig ride on top of the washing machine (a gentler less concentrated vibration). I'm also gonna obtain that baby probiotic and start Mama on that.

Nooooooowwww, about that whole Crippie Rant last night... Crippie has a clearer head today, I do regret how certain things came out and I'm so sorry if I offended anyone. "Normals" complaining about trivial things has to be my number one pet peeve, and I guess seeing an overload of whining from a bunch of people kinda sent me over the edge. But overall, Crippie doesn't regret it. I felt like it had to be said. And if anyone is wondering Crippie and her friend had a dandy talk about everything and we totally patched everything up, so in that regard I'm really glad I had that little rant. But in all seriousness, Crippie thinks that people (no one in particular) need to stop focusing on how much their lives suck and instead focus on the positives. The positives might be harder to spot sometimes, but they without a doubt exist.

Since the blog has kinda taken a "cripples vs. normals" turn for the past few days, I figured I'd answer a related Crippie Question. "Why do you take offense to people calling you an inspiration? Last time I checked that was a compliment". Alright, here's the deal... it's not that us cripples find it offensive, it's just annoying as all hell when people say it insincerely or when they say something like "OMG you're disabled but you drive to work every day, you're such an inspiration". It kinda feels like we're being called inspirational solely because we're disabled. It's like saying "OMG you were a Jew in the 1940's in Europe, you're such an inspiration". It feels like an empty, meaningless statement... especially if you hear it over and over and over and over. That being said, if the cripple actually did something worth the compliment, it is seen as a such. People have said called me inspirational because of this blog and I don't see that as an insult at all... I'm actually doing something (blogging) and I'm relating it to my disability so the two things are related. BTW, thanks to all my "Crippled Comrades" who have had said those things about me... sorry if recent posts have made it seem like I didn't appreciate that.

So in MRI news... BOTH OF MY MRI'S HAVE FINALLY BEEN APPROVED!!! Now on to the next mini-battle, finding a hospital that can do them! Recently a shiny new hospital was built near Crippie so naturally we thought they would be able to handle my MRI but apparently they only do knee and back stuff. I'm still really confused about their inability to do my MRI... I thought all I had to do was sit in the damn machine. Oh well, we found another hospital that I can get the MRI done at, we just need to have the address changed with all the insurance stuff. Me thinks that this issue will be solved tomorrow (later today, whatever). Once that issue is settled it looks like I'll be able to schedule my MRI for Friday. If that's the case expect a lot of Rebecca Black parodies.

Crippie watched the final episode of House today. I must say, it was hard to watch one of my favorite TV characters go. I'm soooooooooooo glad that they ended on a high note instead of killing people just for the sake of killing people. What do y'all think? Crippie now eagerly awaits for a new show that focuses on someone with a disability *HINT HINT PRODUCERS*

Crippie's Tippie - If you're gonna call a cripple an inspiration, have an actual inspiring reason to do so

Normals Say The Darndest Things!

Sup Y'all?

The Mama Pig Update - Mama Pig was stable today to I opted to just let her rest for the night.

Crippie's been sharing that video I posted yesterday to several of my crippled buddies... we are all in agreement that it is 110% true and equally hilarious. We've also been telling one another "OMG YOU'RE SO BRAVE" or "YOU'RE SUCH AN INSPIRATION"... it's now an inside joke. 

Ah Normals, can't live with 'em... can't live without 'em ;) Seriously y'all there were a few normals that were really pissing Crippie off today. They didn't do or say anything to me personally thankfully... but here's what happened... Crippie was browsing facebook when all of the sudden she sees a status along the lines of "having foot surgery tomorrow... I can't wait to do all those fun summer things like running and hiking... oh wait". That status kinda ticked Crippie off. I wanted to write "WELCOME TO MY WORLD BITCHEZZZ" but alas... I don't think it would have been appropriate. Well, now Crippie is kinda peeved and looking at facebook, I then see a link to an acquaintance's blog. Said normal has recently injured her ankle and will be needing surgery to fix it. I figured I'd read the blog to check up on how the normal is doing... I really regret doing that. The normal was blogging about how hard her life is with her broken ankle and how she can't do anything, how she wanted to die because a boy decided to flirt with an "able bodied" person over her", just an over all pity party. You would think that Crippie would be all like "OMG I'm so glad you've seen the error of your normal ways, you know what it's like to lose something!" but no... this whole thing got me really, really, really angry... ready for a Crippie Rant people... Crippie's doing a stream of conscious rant... brace yourselves

<CrippieRant>

Alright normals, you want a pity party? Do you really expect me to feel bad for you? Guess what... I don't. I don't care about your trivial TEMPORARY problems. You broke your ankle? That sucks but guess what, you'll recover. How dare you have the audacity to complain about how hard your life is because you broke a god damned bone! You are not disabled, you have no idea how it really effects our lives. Don't you dare compare having a minor, temporary problem to being disabled. Crippie isn't being a complete asshole here... I know what the person will have to go through, she'll need surgery to fix the bones and she'll probs need some pins put in to set the bones... BIG FRIGGIN DEAL. Crippie has hardware in her ankle... IT'S NOT THAT BAD. My recovery from ankle surgery was relatively doable. Not to mention I was a whole freakin' decade younger than this normal when I had my ankle surgery. This is gonna sound horrible but when Crippie hears a normal complaining about something stupid I feel happy that they are suffering. If something so trivial makes you that upset you deserve to suffer. If these normals were in my shoes they'd be beyond miserable. I honestly think that some of these people would kill themselves if they were placed in my shoes. 

I think it's safe to say that hearing normals complain about something that I regularly go through like it's the end of their God damned world makes me really upset. It sucks that they are going through a temporary rough patch, but it's not the end of the world, and they will recover STOP BITCHING ABOUT IT. This whole thing really makes me livid... I dunno maybe it's because I am jealous of their ability to recover and go back to being a normal. I can recover from a surgery but at the end of the day I'm still crippled. I don't complain because I know there are people far less fortunate than I am, and I know that I am lucky for the things I do have. I could do entire posts about how my life is so hard and how much pain I'm in but I don't. I'll mention that I'm in pain but I don't whine about it. There is a difference between stating the facts and trying to evoke pity. Crippie doesn't want a pity party. Hearing people say "OMG I'm so sorry for you" makes me feel worse! 

I don't believe in pity partying unless it's something realllllllyyyyyyyyyy bad. Your kid has cancer? Okay, that is absolutely horrible so I'll join that party. Someone died? I'll join your pity party. If it's something serious, by all means... let it out. If it's not really bad, shut up.

It might seem like Crippie is really bitter about this, and that's because I am. These normals are so terribly lucky to be normals, seeing them squander things that I never got the chance to have hurts. It hurts a lot. So please normals, step outside of your boxes for a second and realize how much you have, sure those little glitches in life are rather inconvenient, but guess what... THAT'S LIFE. Life is full of ups and downs, you just have to recognize that those glitches are part of life. Deal with them and move on.

And last but not least... JUST BECAUSE YOU BROKE YOUR ANKLE THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU ARE A CRIPPLE!

</CrippieRant>

*Sigh* Sorry if that made no damn sense or offended anyone. Believe it or not Crippie actually calmed herself down before writing this. Crippie was absolutely livid, and it takes a LOT to get Crippie really angry. Normally I can rationalize situations and my general delays usually help me stay calm... but not this time. Crippie is well aware that these were not personal attacks, but I take them personally nonetheless. And yes, Crippie also sees the irony of complaining about other people complaining and I might feel weird about this post later... but for now I'm still angry and I don't care.

Crippie's Tippie - Follow the 10-80-10 rule... 10% of your life is completely awesome moments (getting married, etc), 10% of your life will suck beyond all reason (something dies), the rest is in the middle... it's up to you whether or not you want your life awesome or not. I choose to let my life be awesome... I save my sadness for when I need it.

OMG YOU'RE SO BRAVE!!!

Ello!

The Mama Pig Update - Mama Pig seems to be stabilizing. She hasn't had any issues for the past two days, which is good. If problems arise again, Crippie read somewhere that certain probiotics and motility aids for babies might help her tummy get back to normal. Crippie will continue monitoring her for a few days to see if that will be necessary.

Crippie hopes all her readers had a fabulous Saturday. Crippie's day was rather lovely. I had a pleasant day a work and I got to go into town to obtain some nummy burritos for dinner. While in town Crippie, her mom, and sister dropped by the new super awesome book store again. The book store is really awesome because they sell books by local authors... including Crippie's Grandma! Yup, Crippie's grandma is a published author! She's written two books recently and Crippie designed each of them :D

The first book is a memoir dealing with the first 56 years of her marriage and then the last few months while my grandpa was dying of cancer.
The second book is about all her quirky new friends that she met because of a random coincidence. It's a real life Ya-Ya sisterhood!
You should totally stop by the "Ye Olde Warwick Book Shoppe" and pick up a copy. If you live no where near me you can buy a copy on Amazon.com

Boy howdy I do love seeing my work on the shelves :D This happiness totally trumped the sciatica flare up I was having today. My hip was really bothering me today. It seemed like the only thing I could do to make it "better" was to sleep it off. Which I guess is good because at least I was unconscious, but in hindsight taking a nap at 8pm and waking up at midnight was probably not the brightest idea. On the bright side, I was browsing Tumblr in an effort to get tired again, when I found this gem of a video. I know "S--- People Say to People With ________" videos ran their course a while ago... but I'd never seen this video before and it's full of truth. So... enjoy!

Crippie's Tippie - Normals, if you say stuff like that to a cripple, we will post a video on YouTube about it and humiliate you. 

Crippie And Crack Squirrel

Ohai!

The Mama Pig Update - Mama Pig gave me a little scare tonight. I was planning on just monitoring her but I kept hearing grumbles from her tummy. She was getting very nudge-y and fidget-y. Not to mention she wasn't pooping. All these things added up means that she had a gas bubble and was very uncomfortable. Crippie used the handy dandy toothbrush, some massages, and I had to force her to tinkle a little but after two hours she passed all her gas (yes, guinea pigs fart) and got back to pooping like a normal pig. Phew.

Moving on to my totally awesome title. Today Crippie and her Grandma went to pay a visit to the piggies at the shelter. We brought a bunch of carrots for them and the rabbits. But, when we got there we got some very good news... ANDREW AND CHARLIE WERE ADOPTED!!! YAY!!!!! A local family who has adopted pigs before decided to add both Charlie and Andrew to their family! If by some stroke of luck their new parents are reading this I just want to say thank you for adopting these two little boys, they are very smart piggies and I hope you all have a fantastic life together. :D

Regardless of whether or not the boys were there, we still needed to give the bunnies carrots! So we went to the bunny and pig shed (the pigs were in separate cages from the bunnies, they were just held in the same room) to give everyone carrots. So Crippie was giving all the bunnies carrots and I was totally ignoring what I thought were empty cages on one wall, when all of the sudden I hear a noise and WHAM there is freakin' squirrel looking right at me! Much to my surprise there was a squirrel in one of the cages! This squirrel must have been really happy to see me and my grandma cause it was bouncing around the cage like you would not believe. It was almost as if it was saying "HI... I LOVE YOU... DO YOU LOVE ME... I DO TRICKS... LOOK AT ME... HI... HI... HI... HI... I LOVE YOU... LOOK AT ME... NOW I'M UPSIDE DOWN... LOOK AT ME... NOW I'M CLIMBING A WALL... I LOVE YOU... PLEASE LOOK AT MMMMEEEEEEEEEE". Crippie lovingly dubbed the squirrel as "Crack Squirrel" because it acted like it consumed massive amounts of crack. Then we noticed movement from a second "empty cage"... TWO MORE SQUIRRELS! These ones were a lot shyer and not on crack. I named them Bushy and Heidy. Bushy had a lovely tail and Heidy loved to hide. So yeah, Crippie got to play with squirrels today. I have no clue how they came to the shelter, all that matters to me is that I got to play with them. Now for the pics to prove that this did in fact happen!

Crack Squirrel standing still

Bushy being adorable

Crack Squirrel demanding either attention or my grandma's finger

Crack Squirrel wants to play

Heidy, not hiding for a change

Upside down Squirrel (probs Heidy)

Heidy and Bushy showing off

Crippie freakin' loves the local animal shelter, it's like a petting zoo! Since the boys are no longer there I won't have any reason to go for now, but I'll keep my eyes on their website, constantly checking for new piggies to help take care of. Who knows, maybe if the right girl comes along I'll add to my heard ;) If any of my readers are still in the market for a piggie but there don't appear to be any in your shelters check craiglist! Craigslist piggies often come from people who "don't have time" for their pigs anymore, so they need lots of love and treats! 

And if y'all were wondering, I don't think Crack Squirrel, Heidy, and Bushy are up for adoption.

Crippie's Tippie - Squirrels are humorous little buggers, but they would make terrible pets.