Crippie Acts Completely Out of Character

Ohai Everyone!

I hope everyone had a marvelous Monday. Mine was alright, full of the usual pain and discomfort that January and February have brought me, but otherwise no complaints. I do have a fun story to tell y'all though... a refreshing break from me talking about being in constant pain for the past few months.

Well, as you all know the past two months have kinda sucked... a lot. So what did Crippie do about it? Believe it or not I spent Thursday night getting fairly drunk with my coworkers. You see, I was at a party for all the employees at my office (YAY social life points), and I was allowed 2 free drinks, whatever my little heart desired. Normally I do not drink alcohol, partly because it doesn't mix well with my rather strong narcotics, and partly because I just don't enjoy the taste of it. Believe it or not I actually decided to have a drink, not just any drink... a relatively strong one at that. Usually when I drink I dilute the crap outta whatever I'm having, and get a buzz at most. For some off reason I thought a chocolate martini sounded tasty. What can I say, the thought of chocolate milk with lots of alcohol in it intrigued me... plus, it was free. How can I say no to free alcoholic chocolate milk?!?!? So, I consumed an entire chocolate martini in a relatively short span of time AND on an empty stomach. Yup, I'm brilliant. At least I had water too so I was hydrated. I was pleasantly surprised at how I actually found the alcoholic chocolate milk to be tasty. I guess there was enough chocolate syrup and liquor to drown out the nail polish remover taste. Well, about a quarter way through the beverage I either stopped hurting or stopped caring about the constant discomfort. I had a great time being social and being slightly inebriated (YAY social life points), not to mention I had the opportunity to consume some tasty noms. Needless to say, Thursday was a much needed break in what has been a really crappy  few months, I got to be a VERY social creature, AND I acted completely out of character.

CHOCOLATE BOOZE!!!! 

Slightly inebriated Crippie  

Freakin' Awesome Desserts 

And on a completely unrelated topic, since some of y'all were curious about how I did my nails with those polka dots... I used a dotting tool to draw the polka dots on. Funness. Toothpicks and old ball-point pens also suffice. I used painter's tape for the design below if you're wondering. If you're also wondering why on earth I would spend time doing stuff like that... it helps me concentrate on something other than the pain. You really need to focus if you don't wanna screw up your manicure ;)

Tape Mani while showing off my dotting tool. It doesn't make sense, but whatever

And on ANOTHER unrelated note, to make up for my still irregular posts... here's some sleeping animals.

SLEEPY FRIDA!  

Helen is all snuggled up and adorable

Crippie's Tippie - If you're like me and take heavy duty narcotics, drink in extreme moderation and make sure you sober up before you take your meds. NEVER MIX ALCOHOL WITH PAIN KILLERS. EVER. 

GET BACK TO WORK

Hello Friends!

I hope y'all had dandy weekends. It was the last few days of my "vacation" so I got to enjoy it. My sister's birthday was on Friday so we went out for an awesome dinner with some relatives on Sunday. If any of my local readers of heard of a place called "Texas Roadhouse" I HIGHLY recommend it. The steaks were freaking amazing.

Moving on, today was my first day back at work! YAY ME! Now that I'm getting back into the swing of things I'm really starting to realize how much of a raging bitch Fanny was. I was in ZERO pain driving to work. I didn't even know that driving hurt before. But now that Fanny is gone driving felt so... normal. Definitely motivates me to drive more often. I opted not to use my crutch when I got to work. Figured the exercise would be good and walking is easier now. It was great to see all of my coworkers and I had a little "welcome back" sign on my desk. I jumped back into work and I found it slightly easier to focus. My scar would sometimes hurt for a second, but it wasn't bad and it quickly passed. I'm really happy to be back at work, reckon I'm one of those people that actually enjoys working.

Even though I was on a modified schedule today, I was tired when I got home. I pretty much just ate and watched several episodes of "Breaking Amish" on my computer. I don't care if it's probably highly fabricated... it's interesting AND ADDICTIVE!

I guess that's all for tonight folks. Tomorrow marks three weeks since my surgery. Guess I'll have to celebrate by posting cute animal pics.

Crippie's Tippie - Modified schedules are a beautiful thing.

Summary of a Surgery

Yo!

I can't believe it's been almost three weeks since Fanny's removal. My little "vacation" is almost over and I go back to work on Monday. While having a little break from work was nice, I'm rather looking forward to getting back to being a productive member of society again.

Today I figured I'd break down how my surgery and recovery went and how I improved as the days progressed...

Day of Surgery - At first I was going to say something about how little pain I was in, but then I tried to think about that day and I realized I do not remember much about it. I remember getting up to go to the bathroom, being in my car going home, walking up some of my stairs, and thats about it. I guess I was stoned off my ass. Honestly I'm surprised I was able to compose a blog post that day without mentioning unicorns or penguins. 

The Next 72 Hours - Again, I don't exactly remember everything. The incision area was slightly sore, but it wasn't bad at all. I had to be intubated during surgery so my throat was rather sore and I had a cough. Eventually it got to a point where my ribs and stomach muscles hurt from coughing. Overall it wasn't bad though, I was able to sit, stand, and walk with crutches. I was able to paint my nails the day after surgery ;)

The Next Few Days - The one problem with having the anti-nausea patch is that you don't throw up all the crap in your system, so it takes longer for everything to leave your system. There were are a few days when I felt verrrryyyyy heavy-headed. Bread would help for a little while but it would keep coming back. One day I felt even worse than usual, turns out I was running a 100.1 fever. Once the fever burned off I started feeling better (and blogging again). 

One Week - The surgery site was a teensy bit sore, but again nothing terrible. I started walking around my house sans crutches and I would only use one crutch when going out. 

10 Days Post Op - The staples came out and my incision was exposed and allowed to breathe! Me thinks at least a few parts of it are gonna keloid and I might end up with a good ol "Railroad track" scar from the staples themselves, but it's hard to tell.

11 Days Post Op - My incision does not like feeling exposed. It's in an awkward area and it does not like it when I move. I thought I felt it ripping a few times. Some bandaids were places on the scar to keep that skin from moving.

The Rest of that Damn Week - Holy crap my scar hurt. Now I feel closer to Harry Potter. Whenever I got up from either laying down or sitting my scar would hurt like a mofo. Without a doubt this was the most painful part of my surgery. I opted to relax for a few days and let my scar heal. The pain started to decrease with each passing day. 

Now - My scar almost feels back to normal. I hold it sometimes when I get up, but whatever pain I do have from it is very bearable. I can walk without my crutches, and without much of a limp. I'll probably be using my crutch outside of my home for a little while longer. 

All in all I am sooooooooooooooo pleased with how everything turned out. I was bracing for massive mobility restrictions and I lot of pain. Thank goodness it wound up being the total opposite. Even though there were some minor bumps in the recovery road, it was still really freaking easy.

Crippie's Tippie - Sometimes it's good to prepare for the worst. You're prepared in the event that it hits the fan, and you are extraordinarily happy when things go well. It's a win/win.

Lucky #13

Howdy Y'all!

13 Days til Fanny's departure! W00000000000t

Even though my surgery is less than two weeks away, and my pre-ops are a week away... STILL NOT AFRAID! Maybe this will be the first surgery in a long time where I don't make myself sick beforehand :D I'm continuing to practice moving around like an ever bigger cripple, I've almost mastered the whole walking thing. I did try to walk up the stairs, that's definitely gonna be a challenge. It's hard to really tell though, a lot depends on if my leg will be able to move and if I can put some weight on it. Either way I'll probably need someone behind me to hold my waist as I go up. We've got most everything about recovery figured out. The one thing I'm not sure of is the whole "how am I gonna use the bathroom" thing. Fanny's location will probably make for some interesting post surgery dressings. I have no idea what to expect there... I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it will just be a simple dressing around my waist. Oh well, I know how to physically get on the toilet seat, which is all that really matters I guess.

I was a teensy bit worried that all the anxiety would kick in today, but surprisingly it was quite the opposite. I found out that I qualify for temporary disability, so that relieved a tooooooooooooooon of anxiety for me. My superiors at work are being super awesome about this whole surgery thing, they were totally cool when I said that I might have be a little late to work on the days when I have pre-ops... so muccccchhh anxiety lifted off my shoulders there. Gotta love having burdens removed from you instead of adding them... YAY ME!

I think this whole Scenty Fundraiser is also helping me drive away whatever feelings of dread I might have. Planning, setting up, promoting, etc make for very worthwhile distractions. My fellow cripples and I are spreading the word of how awesome Scentsy products are. Remember to spread the word my fellow comrades! Also, if anyone else is having a fundraiser and want to spread the word just let me know, I'll be happy to advertise it here :)

I reckon that's it for tonight folks, I promise I'll post animal photos tomorrow to make up for the shortness!

Crippie's Tippie - Spread the word about my fundraiser please! 

Give Peace A Chance... Or Not... Whatever

Greetings

Soooooooo... Buddy Bath....... yeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I tried, I really tried. I put them in the water, they freaked out and huddled together. Brilliant, it was working. I took them out to dry off. They were freaked out and were still huddled together, AWESOME. 20 minutes later Aggie bites Maggie in the ass and they start fighting again. CRAP. I figured that they needed to sort out some dominance issues, okay, I played referee and let them work out their issues blocking them with a towel whenever they started to attack each other. After about 30 minutes of blocking some potentially nasty fights, they were still mad as all hell, ready to pounce on the other one. I took each pig out to examine them for bite wounds and discovered that Maggie had been bitten in the lip. After that I decided that it is not safe to house Maggie and Aggie together in their present condition. Maggie and Aggie will now be housed in individual pet store cages, not the ideal situation but it has to be done. Maybe I'll try the buddy bath again in a few weeks, but for now... not gonna happen.

DO NOT WANT... AT ALL 

IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT'S HOLY... SAVE ME AGGIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now that I'm dry... I think I want to kill you again

In other news, something miraculous happened at work over the weekend. My office isn't exactly handicap friendly. You need to climb a few stairs in order to get to the door, there is a ramp... but it was chained off. It's been that way for as long as I've been there. I told the higher powers from the very beginning that the ramp should be open... cause... ya know... it's kinda illegal to have it blocked. Alas, my request to open the damn ramp had fallen onto deaf ears until now. I mentioned to my boss that I will be having hip surgery, and that when I return to work I'll be needing that ramp. FINALLY after working at this place for close to 11 months, THE RAMP IS USABLE!!!  I had "The Eye of the Tiger" playing in my head as I triumphantly walked up the ramp to the door. YAY! VICTORY!!!!

I cannot stand seeing modern buildings disobeying the ADA. It irks me beyond belief. You can walk in your store, restaurant, sidewalk, whatever... great... kudos to you. But just because you can that doesn't mean that everyone can. Maybe a day will come when you can no longer walk. Have fun trying to go places my friends. Good luck opening that heavy narrow door. Have fun getting your wheelchair down that crowded sidewalk. Oh, can you not fit in this aisle... oops. This bathroom isn't handicap accessible,  is that alright with you? I forgot to mention that the elevator doesn't work. People should start hiring cripples to test out their buildings, or maybe we should put the architects in wheelchairs! Let's bind their legs and let them have it out. I'm not asking for much, I just want things to be handicap accessible.

Crippie's Tippie - MAKE THINGS HANDICAP ACCESSIBLE... IT'S NOT THAT HARD

That Went Better Than Expected

Ohai!

The Mama Pig Update - She seems to be stable again. She probably had a very minor UTI that we were able to treat by flushing her out. It's become pretty apparent that Mama, Frida, and Nellie are genetically prone to UTIs and bladder issues. Knowing this Crippie has to make a special effort to keep their tushies clean. This involves changing their bedding more frequently, occasionally wiping their butts with a pet wipe, and maybe trimming the fur by their bums. Sure, it's a little more effort, but it's soooooo much easier than taking care of a pig with a massive UTI.

I hope all my crippled comrades are having a lovely week. Crippie's week is going oddly well. First off, Crippie managed to redesign the blog (one of my new year's resolution)! It's not completely done yet, but I figured out how to make a custom navigation bar and remove some parts of the HTML/CSS coding that I didn't like in the original theme! YAY ME! If anyone is wondering how I did this, Crippie has a very basic knowledge of HTML and CSS, and what I didn't know I looked up and occasionally just googled "how do I make a custom navigation bar on blogger" or "How do I get rid of the white panels in my blogger theme". Crippie used Adobe Illustrator to make her new header and menu, I lurv me some Adobe Illustrator. Overall the whole process was much less daunting than I thought it would be. Crippie thought she was gonna crash the blog or something, soooooo happy I didn't break this thing.

On Thursday I went to my bi-monthly pain management appointment. It went very well and we bowed down to my doctor for guessing the whole sciatica thing before anyone else. She recommended that I do exercises to keep my sciatica at bay for the time being. My doctor also told me how much full blown sciatica sucks, so that reaffirmed my decision to remove Fanny.

Speaking of Fanny, today I decided to tell my boss that I will need 2-3 weeks off of work to have surgery. Crippie's opted to be very upfront with her. I told her that I have a genetic disorder that causes bone tumors to grow on my bones, that I have a tumor the size of a grapefruit on the back of my hip, and that I need to have it removed. My boss was super nice and supportive about the whole thing. I did stress that the surgery doesn't have to be done immediately so I can wait for a slow period in work. She said that if that doesn't work, she can just hire a temp for 2 weeks, no big deal. Soooooooooo relieved. I was nervous as to how my boss would react to me telling her what was wrong with me, her only question for me was "Are you in pain?". It was kinda adorable actually. It's good to know that my boss actually cares. Now Crippie has to try to schedule her surgery, that'll be interesting to say the least.

Crippie's Tippie - If your boss/doctor/superior/whatever doesn't care about your general well being... they suck

Well, There's Your Problem

'Ello

The Mama Pig Update - Mama continues to stabilize. She still not 100% back to normal. I'd probably say she's about 90%. Crippie is gonna monitor her throughout the day tomorrow since I don't have work. Since Mama Pig is feeling better I can finally devote more time to my other piggies. Tonight I was chilling with Nellie. Nellie missed all the snuggles.

I call this look "Stare Vacantly at the Wall While Mommy Gives Me Rubs"

Crippie was supposed to have her second MRI in a few hours. BUT we ended up canceling it. Why? Because the people at the radiologist's office called us and said that the first MRI should provide my doctor with all of the information he needs. Crippie is gonna pick up the MRI disc tomorrow and send it to my doctor. If this is the case, that my problems are so blatantly obvious that a second MRI is not needed... CRIPPIE REALLY WANTS TO KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON! Crippie is pretty sure that Fanny is pressing on the sciatic nerve but I have no clue with what's causing my sitting problems. I really hope the answer is super obvious and more importantly, super easy to treat. Although, Crippie is being very cautious about this new development of sorts, cause let's face it, the radiology office could just be seeing tumors and assuming that they are the cause of my problems. Once Crippie's ortho sees the images from my first MRI he'll let us know whether I need another MRI or not. 

The heat wave has been continuing by me. It was again insanely hot on Tuesday. Crippie shockingly decided to wear shorts to work (it's hot and our dress code is very relaxed). I'll admit even though I am ok with showing my legs and my scars to random people, I was afraid that my coworkers would notice all my scars. Yes, I already walk with a cane so it's kinda obvious that something ain't right... but I don't like having my coworkers know the extent of my crippledness. I'm afraid that once I make it really obvious people will always treat me "special". For now they treat me like any other coworker, I like being treated like a normal and I thought showing my scars might jeopardize that. That being said, it was insanely hot and my office is full of windows and not so stellar AC. So, Crippie again decided to put on her big girl panties, suck it up, and put on the damn shorts. Much to my surprise no one noticed or cared about my legs! No one said a word to me, no one asked what happened to my leg, NOTHING! Well, I could tell that someone was staring at my leg at one point... but still... not bad. Crippie has to remember that adults have better things to do than notice my legs. That's probably one of my favorite parts about being surrounded by adults, they treat me like a normal human being. I reckon I'm still transitioning from being around younger, dumber people who would treat me like crap because of the whole cripple thing. 

Before I depart for the night, Crippie has to give a quick shout out to my Mom & Dad. Yesterday was their 25th wedding anniversary! Happy Silver Anniversary!!! <3

Crippie's Tippie - Just because a problem is visible to you, that doesn't mean that everyone else will notice it.

Crippie Is A Busy Bee

Ohai,

Helen is beyond thrilled with all of her online admirers. Her giant head has already tripled in size! For those of you who are wondering, Helen is a Shih Tzu. The best part about small dogs is that you can reenact the opening sequence to The Lion King. It's not uncommon to see someone in my house going "MMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAA SSSSSAAAAAAAA WHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN YYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" while holding Helen up in the air. She seems to enjoy it.

Crippie had a very busy day today. I worked for 8 hours, came home, had dinner, and then babysat for an additional hour and a half. While many people would find a day like that hectic or annoying, Crippie rather enjoys them. I like keeping busy, it feels like that's what I should be doing. Tomorrow is my day off from work. I could've spent it at home on the computer but I'm not going to do that. Crippie is going to visit the piggies in the shelter again and if possible sign up to be a piggie volunteer. I would sign up to be a volunteer in general, but I can't take exactly take care of the dogs or cats (can't reach down to clean them up). The best part about tomorrow... Crippie has learned that there are GOATS at the animal shelter. Yes, goats, 5 goats to be exact. Crippie finds goats extremely entertaining and I want to meet them.

I feel like I am slowly but surely working on my New Year's Resolution of "finding a life and getting the hell out of my house". Even though volunteering at the shelter isn't the most "social" activity in the world it's an important activity nonetheless, and hey... gotta start somewhere.

And if y'all are wondering... I'm gonna keep posting about those guinea pigs until they find happy homes.

Crippie's Tippie - If you are in the market for a goat, check out the Warwick Valley Humane Society

The Facts of Life

Greetings!

Crippie literally just spent a good 10 minutes reminiscing about the days when she would watch "The Facts of Life" on Nick at Nite. I was always partial to Jo and I never cared for Blair... and can Crippie get an amen for a young George Clooney <3
Crippie is reliving her old Nick at Nite watching days because the HAWMC blog prompt told her to... sorta. Today's prompt is... Learned the Hard Way. What’s a lesson you learned the hard way? Write about it for 15 today. Once I got the prompt I started singing The Facts of Life theme song (which I remember in it's entirety) and it just went downhill from there ;)
Okies, *starts clock* Crippie learned long, long ago that one must always listen to and respect their elders. Random lesson but a true one. How did Crippie learn this little nugget of wisdom? Well, after my first surgery I acquired a fair amount of painful nerve damage. My doctor made me go to physical therapy. At first Crippie did not listen to her therapists and refused to move her leg because it hurt like a mofo. Those who have experience with not moving a limb for a while know that if you don't use it you lose it, and that's what happened to me. I had muscle atrophy because I refused to listen to my therapists. Eventually my therapists told me to cut the crap and do my damn exercises or else I'd never walk again. Crippie was a good girl and did her exercises after that awakening. After I started to see progress I realized I should probably just shut up and trust that the experts know what they are doing. Crippie learned that if you don't do what smarter people tell you to do... you will suffer the consequences. 
Since Crippie was 10 when she learned this valuable lesson she's been able to put it to practice for over a dozen years and I've definitely seen good results compared to other people. Crippie rarely, if ever, had arguments with her parents... because I know that even if I disagree with something that they always have my best interests in mind. So while must teenagers are like "ommmgggg my mom won't let me have a car, I hate her" Crippie was like "my mom wants me to have a lot of road experience before I get a car because she doesn't want me to die". While most teenagers and college students hate their teachers with a passion, Crippie always listened to them and tried to learn as much as she could from them. Even if I didn't care for some of their personalities I acknowledged that they know more than I do and ultimately they are right. Most of Crippie's teachers were impressed with my ability to behave and follow rules. At work I trust that my superiors know what they are doing and I follow their instructions. I'm actually building a solid reputation as the "good" designer at work!
There are people who think this trait is weakness, but those who do not listen to their superiors will only have to learn more things the hard way.

Crippie's Tippie to Teenagers - Chances are your parents are not idiots. Please tell me how your 13 years on the planet have taught you more than your parents 40 some odd years? They love you and are looking out for your best interests.

Pain Wars!

Sup Everybody!



I hope all of my readers had a terrific Tuesday. Crippie's day went rather well, I had work and I took care of the pets... nothin' special. Let's move on to Crippie's Jew song of the day shall we. Today's song has absolutely nothing to do with Passover, but it's one of Crippie's favorite Jew songs. I love "Tzena, Tzena, Tzena" because a) the chorus is super easy to memorize b) Pete Seeger... nuff said.

Continuing on to actual cripple related stuff, Crippie had a very interesting conversation with her co-workers a few days ago. I'm not sure how it happened but somehow or another we got into a "Pain War" where everyone described the most pain that they've ever been in and we then decided who's was worst. Crippie's coworkers where telling tales of scratching their corneas and sinus surgery. Generally speaking I love winning competitions like this. It might seem weird, but if I'm gonna suffer I better win a damn contest for it. Crippie could've easily won this competition by saying "NERVE DAMAGE IN MY LEG. A YEAR'S WORTH OF PAIN. I WIN" but I didn't. Crippie lied and said that getting a tattoo on my ribcage was the most painful thing I've ever experienced. Why? Well, no one at work knows why I'm a cripple, and if I said that I'd kinda have to tell them why. Also my coworker's pains were very much temporary, and thus there is no real pity there. If Crippie said "oh yeah, I had nerve damage when I was ten. It was the worst pain I'll ever experience in my life and it lasted for about a year, although it still hurts from time to time" I'd probably depress the living hell out of my coworkers. Regardless of how I sugarcoat that story, my coworkers would feel sorry for me, and that simply will no do. The main reason Crippie lied was because my manager was competing in this competition... and you ALWAYS let your superiors win!

So what do you guys think? Was Crippie over-analyzing the situation? Was I right in thinking it's probably not a good idea to bring up traumatic childhood situations at work? If you were having a Pain Off at your office what would you say?

Crippie's Tippie - LET YOUR BOSS WIN EVERYTHING 

Working With A Disability- Day 90

Yo!

How are all my lovely readers today? I was a little achy today with all the weather changes. My tattoo is healing very nicely. It's getting less sore as time progresses. I can now touch it without it hurting too badly.
Now, as the title of today's post suggests I have officially been employed for 90 days (at least according to  the people that try to get cripples hired). I get to start discussing benefits soon, OBOI. I do wonder if my disability will come in to play that, reckon I'll found out soon enough. So far my job experience has been pretty good. I think I'm doing a good job and as far as I am aware I haven't made any mortal enemies! No one has asked why I walk I with a cane, me thinks they just assume Crippie was in a bad car wreck. It doesn't seem like a big elephant in the room or anything, me thinks no one really cares why I am a cripple, I just am.
On to a more important anniversary. Today marks the 3rd anniversary of when we adopted two of our guinea pigs, Emma and Nellie. They started out as scared little baby piggies, now they are very content, well fed piggies.

Nellie

Emma

All of the pigs celebrated with oodles of hay and blueberries, followed by some pretty adorable food comas. It's hard to believe that we've had them for three years. *Sniff sniff* They grow up so fast. 

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY EMMA & NELLIE... MOMMY LOVES YOU! 

Crippie's Tippie- Check your weekly forecast so you can prepare yourself for weather changes.

Well... Now What?

Happy December!

After 30 days of having prompts I have to get used to coming up with my own topics again! I figured I'd jus do a quick Crippie update on everything that's goin' on my life since I really haven't posted about it in a month.
Work- Work is going pretty well. I'm working between 30-60 hours a week at the moment. While it is very tiring thankfully that tiredness doesn't kick in until after I've driven home. Once I get home I have enough energy to play with the pets and eat dinner, that's about it.
Driving- Having a set of wheels is purdy damn awesome. I'm having fewer driving related anxiety attacks, which is good. Although I'm having more anxiety about running out of gas (I'm not quite comfortable with driving to the gas station by myself yet), but that will go away eventually.
Arthritis- As far I'm aware my arthritis hasn't been causing any issues. My hips are ok and I can move my fingers for the time being. Not bad considering I'm on a lesser dose of anti-inflammatory drugs.
MHE- My MHE hasn't been terrible. There are some tumors in my ribcage that have been catching on things recently... not cool. It's not the worst rib flare-up I've had so I really can't complain.

I do have a plan of revenge for my stupid freakin' ribcage. Sunday is Crippie's birthday (23... YAY ME). Crippie's college roomie is coming out for the weekend and we are both getting tattoos. Guess where I'm getting mine... yup, ribcage. That'll show those stupid tumors that I don't care if they catch on something or not. I'll post more about that on Monday (with pictures, no worries).

So that's about it, definitely have some interesting stuff going on right now :).  

Crippie's Tippie- Heating blankets work wonders when the winter achies come around.

Working With A Disability- Month One

Greetings!

It's 1:45 in the morning and I have absolutely no idea why I'm up right now. I had a very busy day and I didn't have any caffeinated beverages at a terribly late hour, but alas, I'm up. Well, might as well make use of this time and get some bloggin' in.

As some of you may know October is National Disability Employment Awareness Month. I find it unfortunate that we need an awareness month to remind people to hire cripples. Apart from the financial benefits a company can get from hiring a disabled person I feel that cripples bring an extra set of skills to the table when it comes to the workforce.

Take my profession for example, one of the "major downsides" of being a graphic designer is that you have to please the client even though you will probably not be happy with the results. This "less than ideal" situation is very hard for some designers to understand and cope with, resulting in some very unhappy designers and some realllllyyyyyy unhappy clients. Because of my crippledness my entire life is filled with less than ideal situations! Less than perfect situations like a client wanting some God-aweful design don't bother me like they bother other people. Sure, it's annoying as all hell, but it comes with the territory and when all is said and done it's not really a big deal. The absolutely craptacular experiences in my life have given me a better attitude when it comes to working in general.

My crippledness has also contributed to a very strong work ethic. When I was 10 I couldn't walk and I needed a lot of painful physical therapy in order to walk again. At first I resisted and refused to do my exercises because they caused me some of the worst pain I will ever experience in my life. One day my physical therapist and I had this little conversation.

PT- I need you to bend your knee
Crippie (who was in tears from pain)- I can't, it hurts too much
PT- Do you ever want to walk again?
Crippie (still crying)- Yes *snif snif*
PT- Do you want to get better?
Crippie (still crying)- yes
PT- Then suck it up and bend your damn leg!

Harsh words but they needed to be said. From that day on I realized that if I have to do something unpleasant or painful I have to put on my big girl panties and deal with it . My boss was hesitant to mention to me that I would have to work Saturdays and would have to pull some very long nights at times, and she looked oddly surprised when I told her "Sure, no problem".

Cripples can also bring enhanced problem solving skills to the table. Since our entire lives are comprised of finding ways to do everyday tasks we become quicker and sharper to problem at hand. Cause lets face it, once you've figured out the age old problem of "I can't get up but I need to use the bathroom" you can pretty much think of anything.

So how have my cripple-skills helped me with my first month of work? I haven't yelled at any clients for wanting ugly designs, I haven't complained about working late (I enjoy working late actually... more $$$), I found ways to make some harder to please clients happy, and I found ways to keep my illness to a minimum at work. I can safely say that my disability has not had any major negative impacts with my work and no one in the office seems to mind that I am a cripple. Works for me!

Wow, all this blogging has actually gotten me sleepy. In conclusion hiring a cripple can be an extreme advantage for any company. I think this meme that I made sums this post up pretty well...

Crippie's Tippie- Apart from HIRE ALL THE CRIPPLES, Cheerios make a lovely work time snack.

Working With Pain

Hey Y'all!

I took my pain medication an hour later than I should've and boy am I feeling the consequences. Lesson learned, and I hope you all have learned from my fail.

While I'm on the subject of pain, people have been asking me how pain effects me at the office. I'm not gonna lie, there have been times whilst at work where I've been temporarily rendered useless by pain. I could hardly type a few days ago. My arthritis was so bad that it literally hurt me to press the shift key with my pinky finger. Regardless of how much pain I might be in at any given time I refuse to let my coworkers know it. The moment I put the "pain card" on the table people are gonna start treating me differently. So here is what Crippie does for pain management at work...
1) Take pain medication regularly- I take pain medication every morning before work, usually that helps take away the worst pain. If I am in more pain during the day I just take another pill.
2) Hot Water- When I couldn't type I took a quick bathroom break and ran my hands under hot water for a few minutes. It loosened my hands up enough so I could continue work.
3) Take a super quick break- If my pain is so bad that I literally can't do anything I just sit at my desk for a minute or two until it passes.

While these work relatively well, at the moment my biggest life saver is SQUISHY!

I Shall Call You Squishy, & You Shall Be Mine, & You Shall Be My Squishy

Squishy is technically a "sensory stimulator gel pad" and is used to calm down "agitated, diminished capacity, elderly people". Squishy looks like something you would buy to keep your hands in a good position while working on a keyboard, so no one at work seems to notice the giant blue squishy thing on my desk. Not only does Squishy keep my wrists comfy but it also me message my fingers when they stiff, distracts me when I am in too much pain to focus, and it helps me focus when I get tired. 

Fidget toys in general have kept my functioning for years, but Squishy is probably the more "grown-up" fidget toys I own. One of these days I do a post devoted to the rest of my collection.

Crippie's Tippie- Don't stray from your medication schedule. Bad things happen when you forget your pills.

Working With A Disability- Day Nine

Howdy Y'all

Crippie had a very good day today. I got my very first pay check today. It's little normal moments like that that make me feel... well... normal. Work is going pretty well if I do say so myself. Listening to music and nomming on smarties and gum definitely help me stay focused. The one downside of the smartie noshing is that my boss literally thinks I am addicted to them. I need to find more nosh items. I'm looking for portable, not messy food that is sold in giant quanities. Any suggestions readers?

Moving on to a question that I have been asked recently, "how do your co-workers treat you?" So far all of my coworkers have been wonderful to the little newbie. No one has asked why I walk with a cane. I get the feeling that people are curious but they are afraid to ask. Me thinks people are afraid of offending me and causing a big discrimination issue in the office. The only time my disability was brought up was when I mentioned that the only ramp to the building is blocked off, and how that is really not a good idea. I was taken into a back room to be told that the ramp is only "sorta" blocked and that it is still usable. It's kinda weird how people feel the need to be "hush hush" about the whole "I'm a cripple" thing. Oh well, as long as my coworkers are nice to me that's all that matters.

Off-topic, I took a very cute picture of my guinea pig Aggie. Aggie is my chunky monkey.

Crippie's Question- To my fellow crippies in the workforce, do you tell your bosses what's wrong with you? Did they ask? 

Working With A Disability: Day 3

Hi Everybody!

Today was my third day of work. It went pretty well. I wasn't terribly achy, I guess the whole "not raining" thing helps. It also looks like I am going to be working more days a week, but fewer hours each day, so my chronic fatigue is very happy.
Speaking of chronic fatigue, I've been trying to find ways of coping with it during work. As mentioned in the prior post, I tried noshing on "smarties" which seems to work rather nicely. Naturally if I nosh on smarties several times a day every week I won't have teeth next year. The simple solution to this is obtain a crap load of chewing gum. Chewing gum is actually a highly accepted way of dealing with fatigue, pain, and short attention spans. Today I also experimented with listening to music. Of course this depends on where you work, but all the designers where I work listen to their headphones. As long as I only use one earbud my boss doesn't mind. Listening to music really helped me focus today.
On a totally different note, anyone who has checked out my Tumblr, might have seen this little face...

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the newest addition to my family, Helen. Helen is a three year old Shih Tzu who enjoys snuggles, food, and belly rubs. Helen is also blind (hence the name Helen) so she occasionally rams into a wall. Helen is technically my sister's dog so... I'M AN AUNTIE!

Crippie's Tippie- Don't let chronic fatigue get in the way of what you have to do, simple tricks can help you function pretty normally.

Working With A Disability: Day 1

Ohai Everyone!

My first day on the job was today, boy howdy am I tired. Work itself went perfectly fine, once I figure everything out there I be quite good at it. Now the main issue will always be "how will my disability effect my work". From what I can tell so far my main problems will be...
1) Chronic Fatigue- I get really tired really easily, I didn't physically do a whole lot today but I am exhausted nonetheless. I'm gonna try noshing on "smarties" throughout the day tomorrow. Maybe that'll help.
2) Issues standing- Part of my job requires me to use a copy machine for 5-10 minutes at a time. While that seems like nothing it was painful to stand there for that short time. Not painful enough to make me not do that job, but still painful.
3) Lack of Handicap Accessibility- Apparently the designers of the building a work at didn't believe in elevators, and the only ramp outside has been chained off for months (I didn't know that was even legal). Again, I'll manage without elevators and ramps, it's just kinda a bummer that they didn't think to make 'em.

So I guess the general answer to that question is "having a disability makes it harder to work, but its something you kinda have to deal with". Massive plus about being a cripple, I get the handicap parking space! That's right... the n00b has the best spot in the office!

Crippie's Tippie- Make buildings with ramps and elevators, it's nice to be able to let cripples in buildings.