Have A Nice Trip!

Howdy Y'all

HOLY CRAP IT'S COLD OUT! I hope all of my readers are staying nice and toasty in the comfort of their homes. It's freaking freezing by me but I've been doing my best to keep warm. God I love electric heat pads.

I'm just dropping by to let y'all know that I'm going on a quick trip down south this week. Great week to go on vacation... yeah, yeah I know -_-. Believe it or not this will not stop me from posting. I mean, yes, technically it will because the place I'm going to doesn't have WiFi and thus cannot post. But I'm queuing some posts up now, so it's all good. Writing posts for the future is so weird, cause it's for... ya know... the future.

To make up for a ridiculously short post, here's some pics of Helen being adorable and hating the cold.

In case you are wondering, the clothes are partly for her warmth, partly for our enjoyment ;)

Crippie's Tippie - I might not be able to blog this week, but I should be able to use Twitter & Instagram.  If you miss me THAT much follow me @icanhasdesign for twitter and @scarwars10 for Instagram. 

Random Crippie Crap!

Ohai Y'all!

I hope y'all are having a lovely week thus far. Thankfully I've been pretty well. I don't exactly have a lot of material to write a blog post about, so in the spirit of blogging regularly I figured I'd update y'all on all the random happenings of my life.

- My arms have for the most part been cooperating with me. YAY! They'll still catch from time to time, but it's just for a moment and it goes away. I haven't had to brace either of my wrists in a week. That's kinda a big deal cause I usually have to brace one of my arms at least once a week. Me thinks it was a weather shift causing all these problems. Freaking weather.

- The piggies are fatties. Tonight I was finally able to weigh the babies. Eleanor is a whopping 1,200 grams (a little shy of 2.5 pounds), Prudence is 1,000 grams, and Lucy is 1,050 grams. At least I think Lucy is 1,050 grams... you need to sit still to get an accurate measurement, and Lucy does not know the meaning of "sit still". I also gave Eleanor and Lucy their first ever nail trims. I am happy to report that I lived through the ordeal. Eleanor will forgive me sooner or later.

- Helen hasn't been feeling very well over the past few days. She's not sick or anything, but she got five shots on Saturday, and she's a terrible patient. So we've had a stoned lil' Shih Tzu on our hands. She spent the weekend either whining, crying, or sleeping, sometimes all three at once. Don't worry though, she started feeling better today.

- Angel has also been feeling "off" she has allergies and skin related stuff going on. She got some new medicines over the week and she has been bouncing off walls and humping pillows like a mad woman. She's quite happy with her life at the moment.

- I bought a book last week. If you knew me you'd know how much of a shock this is. I don't read, at all. I just don't have the attention span for it. What did I obtain? I bought "Maus" by Art Spiegelman. It's a graphic novel about the Holocaust. While I can't really read, I lurv me some graphic novels. The words are broken up enough to keep my attention, plus the pictures help too. I haven't started reading it yet, but I look forward to it. Can any of my lovely readers recommend any other good graphic novels for me? I've already read (and loved) Persepolis and I'm currently reading "The Walking Dead" issue by issue.

- I was surprisingly social this weekend. I had some friends over on Saturday to meet the piggies and have ice cream. My friends loved my piggies and my piggies loved my friends, judging by how the pigs opted to not wee on anyone! On Sunday I had another friend over for pizza, a movie, and course playing with pigs. The babies got oodles of attention this weekend and I'm pretty sure they enjoyed themselves.

Well, that's about it over here. I hope y'all have a lovely week. Until next time!

Crippie's Tippie - Have issues reading? Give graphic novels a go. 

Crippie's Back!

Ohai!

Wow, I've been a terrible blogger recently. Ugh, what can I say... pain, achy-ness and fatigue definitely got the best of me. Anyways, I missed y'all. Figured I'd give y'all an update of what I've been up to for the past two weeks (with pictures of animals to make up for my suckiness)

- It's been a month since Mama Pig's passing. The pigs and the humans are adjusting. Frida definitely misses Mama Pig. I've seen quite the personality shift with her, she's turned into the little asshole she once was, nipping Nellie and Maggie, starting fights, using faces as step-stools, etc. That being said, she is bonding more with Nellie, when she's not biting her butt that is...

See, I'm being nice to Nellie

But I miss my mommy sometimes

- Angel has recently been scratching her ears and face quite a bit (ear infection) it got to a point where we had to put her in a "cone of shame". Whenever I saw her walking around, sleeping, or doing anything with her cone of shame I couldn't help but do my best "Up" impression, shouting "CONE OF SHAMMMMEEE". She's on the mend though, gettin' better every day.

CONE OF SHAMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

CONE OF SHAMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEE

- Helen has spent every last waking moment of the past 2 weeks either sleeping, or barking at minorities on the TV (apparently Helen is a racist, don't know how she managed that one).

I might be cute but...

I'm probably dreaming racist dreams

- As for me, I've been trying to grin and bear whatever discomfort I've been having and am trying my best to be a social creature. I'm definitely getting better at it. I hang out with friends on the weekends sometimes, last weekend I went to a flea market with one of my friends. Got to hold a grenade, that was quite the experience. Said table looked like a scene from "The Walking Dead"... WEAPONS EVERYWHERE! If ever there is a zombie apocalypse... these people will be just fine.

I regret not buying the daggers...

- I've also driven to a few strange new places all by myself. I went to get gas in my car all by myself (which is kinda a big deal cause I hate some of those roads). Not to mention I drove on some roads with scary intersections! And I didn't have a panic attack! YAY ME! Granted I was probably screaming at other drivers more than I usually do, but whatever. I've been using the Google Maps App as a GPS, I rather enjoy it. It doesn't judge me when I miss a turn. Three cheers for progress! 

- My sciatica has been a bitch and a half recently. I've heard that exercise helps that whole problem. But the thing with exercise is that the whole "my body is riddled with tumors" thing makes it kinda painful and extremely challenging. I had to think of something I could do without injuring myself. Fun fact: Crippie is surprisingly good at Hula Hooping. I can walk while using a hula hoop, I can go up and down stairs, plus a few arm tricks. A couple of days ago I remembered that weighted hula hoops exist. I figured I could probably do that without hurting myself so I obtained one. I've been slowly starting to use it every day, just a little to start... but so far I haven't dislocated a hip or anything, so that's a plus. Even if this doesn't help the sciatica, a medication I take has made me gain a couple of pounds (nothing much, just 4 or 5 pounds) so I'll be nice to my hips and legs and try to remove that. I hate to sound like Regina George but...

So that's about it, the weather is starting to level out, and hopefully the exercise will make me feel better. Let's hope I can seriously get back to being a good little blogger.

Crippie's Tippie - If you can hula hoop, you should totally try a weighted one. It's fun AND it's exercise! 

PS - My grandma is on twitter now. Her name is @The_AltaKaka. LET'S GET HER SOME FOLLOWERS!!!

Sure, You'll Listen to Obama but Not to Me!

Salutations!

I hope everyone enjoyed their Martin Luther King Jr. Day. I spent my day working and popping tylenols for a freakishly sore back. I did get to go into work late-ish today so I got to watch the inauguration today. I don't know about you guys but I enjoyed what I saw, and I wasn't the only one in my house who agreed. Angel was "watching" with the family, and by watching I mean sleeping on the couch. Someone on the TV said "All rise" and the next thing we know Angel is sitting at full attention, watching the TV. If that isn't funny enough when the person said "You may be seated" she went back to sleep! I don't get it, she hardly listens to us! But I guess she's a democrat.

Believe it or not she is not the only political pet in our household. Even though Helen slept through today's festivities, she made her opinions known during the election. Whenever I'd watch a debate with her she'd start growling whenever Obama spoke! She'd be perfectly fine with Romney but as soon as Obama started talking she'd make her opinions known that she did NOT like him. At all! So yeah, one of my dogs is a democrat and the other is a republican. My guess is that when they are not busy sleeping or eating they are discussing whatever current events they heard when they were awake.

The piggies don't particularly care about politics, and they probably won't unless someone proposes a ban on lettuce. If that ever happens... ALL HELL WILL BREAK LOOSE!

In other news, the scar from Fanny's removal has officially keloided. No longer is it a scar that's kinda puffy for the time being but will flatten out in a year or two... nope... mofo is a keloid. Since this scar is on a sensitive area that moves around a lot, it gets rather painful from time to time. It's not as painful as Fanny was so I don't mind the trade off... but still... the bastard hurts. I'm trying to put lotion on it but me thinks I might need to invest in a scar cream to help soften this sucker. Any suggestions in good scar creams? Would a stretch mark lotion be better? Help me comrades! WHAT SHOULD I DO!

In other, other news, I've been rejected for disability AGAIN. This time we sent an ass ton of papers and medical records, and my doctor needs to fill out some forms stating that I am in fact, a cripple. Ugh, I hate to say it but if I get rejected again I'm not gonna bother fighting it. For the amount of money I'd be getting, it's not worth putting in any more effort.

That's it for tonight folks, y'all have a good tomorrow. STAY WARM!

Crippie's Tippie - Dogs are smarter than they look sometimes

ARE YOU BLIND!

Yo!

Funny story for y'all today...

Today was a day of doctor's appointments. I saw my pain doctor today. It went well but that's not the main story today. Angel and Helen went to the vet (they're fine, they just had check-ups and shots). It was an all day event. Right before I went into my doctor's appointment we received a call from the vet's office about the dogs. I answered the phone. The conversation went as follows...

Vet Person - Hi... um... we have some concerns about Angel and Helen
Crippie - Uh oh, what's wrong
Vet Person in a very nervous tone - Um... well... with Helen... we.... um... the doctor believes something is wrong with her eyes... he doesn't think she can see anything
Crippie - Well yeah... she's blind.
Vet Person - Oh... um... has she seen a specialist?
Crippie - Yeah, she has detached retinas. She's completely blind.
Vet Person - Oh... ok

Helen is blind eh?

So it looks like someone forgot to add the whole "HELEN IS FREAKING BLIND" thing to her record. LOL FAIL. Needless to say we've been joking about this event for the remainder of the day. Everyone is saying I should have told the vet person "BUT SHE COULD SEE THIS MORNING!" just to mess with her. We're also pretending to be devastated by this tragic turn of events in Helen's life. Helen is coping with this in the only way she knows how to, by sleeping, eating treats, and cuddling with her humans. She's so brave ;)

It's hard to be Helen

Seriously though, if you look at Helen's eyes it's really obvious that she cannot see. You can see through them when the light is right. 

Needless to say, today was thoroughly entertaining. Something tells me we're gonna be saying "OH MY GOD HELEN IS BLIND" at random times for the next few days

Crippie's Tippie - OH MY GOD HELEN IS BLIND!!!!!! 

Crippie's Actual Tippie - Sometimes it's better to laugh at the stupidity of others rather than getting mad at them

Party Animals

Salutations

Yup, I'm ignoring the blog prompt for tonight... not because it sucks or anything, but because I wanna save for it a day when I'm really awake so I can properly discuss it, plus I have other things to share with you guys today!

First off,  thank y'all for the ninja healing vibes. Birdie was feeling much better this morning and I didn't have to flip anyone off at work today. Me thinks Birdie will cause flare-ups from time to time, but it's nothing that I can't handle. Also, Birdie's location is nowhere near anything important like a nerve so she'd have to grow considerably for me to consider removing her.

Today was actually a pretty good day. It was a very animal-centered day. It started off when my relatives and I were returning home after obtaining some coffee. While driving up my driveway we see a buck chilling on my lawn. He looks at us, and he continues to lie down. We open and close our car doors, he just stares at us. We talk to him (for a distance), he looks at us as if he's saying "Bitch, I ain't afraid of you... IMMA BUCK!". He wasn't hurt or anything, he's a frequent visitor of my lawn, he's just not afraid of people.

Once I finished talking to the deer, I went inside and checked on my piggies. They're were being very cute. Not just cute, VERY FREAKING CUTE. Even though all of the pigs were being adorable, Frida managed to out-cute everyone else.

Those feetsies <3! Today was also special because it's Angel's birthday/adoption anniversary. She's been with us for two whole years and we love her to pieces. Angel might have her issues, but we love her and wouldn't trade her for the world. To celebrate our special girl I decided to cook some ham for her. I was so excited to give Angel her birthday treat I could hardly wait! So everybody sat down at the table and we prepared to give her the present. At the same time Angel came over and... uh... left her own presents if you catch my drift. She wasn't being bad or anything... she's a senior and sometimes she can't hold it in, we weren't mad at her or anything. Once everything was cleaned up we continued on with the party.

Needless to say Angel had a very happy birthday. She even got to lick the plate clean once all the ham was consumed, oh joy! Of course I couldn't leave Helen out of the festivities, ESPECIALLY when there is ham involved.

Helen is the Queen of begging. Not only will she give you killer puppy dog eyes, but she will also walk on her hind legs for a few steps in an attempt to get food. I still have no idea how a blind dog can have such an effective stare.

Well, I'm gonna hit the hay for the night. I hope these freakishly adorably pictures hold y'all over until tomorrow :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANGEL, WE LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU LOVE HAM!

Crippie's Tippie - If you don't want to give your pet people food (understandable if you don't) then I suggest a really awesome dog treat.

Achy Breaky Hips

Oh Hello

I hope y'all are having a lovely week thus far. I didn't have work today, which was good because I was so damn achy today I could hardly move. Basically I stayed in bed with my heat pack all day. Even though Fanny is gone I still have tumors inside my hip sockets... and those also hurt like a mofo. I'm starting to feel better now, but I'm kinda peeved that my day was kinda consumed with pain. Freakin' weather. Oh well, at least the next few days look better.

Anyways, as promised to make up for yesterday's sucky post. Here's some pictures of Helen's Halloween costume. Just a quick pre-face... Helen actually enjoys wearing clothes, plus she gets cold very easily so they do serve some function. Last year she was a unicorn complete with Neil Patrick Harris riding her (Harold & Kumar joke). This year we opted for something a little... different. Any last guesses people?

If you guessed a pink hippo in a tutu... CONGRATULATIONS! You win a cookie. Clearly Helen is super excited about Halloween. I put the costume on her to take the pictures... and she fell asleep. Me thinks it's because it's a really snuggly fabric, guess she considers it to be a blankie. One of these days I'll try to get some photos of Helen the hippo when she's conscious.

If anyone is wondering, Helen is the only animal that has Halloween costumes. Angel does not like clothes nor do want to risk our lives to attempt to put anything on her. The pigs have their guinea bee costume, but I can only keep it on 'em for a few minutes tops. Apart from their general hatred of the costume, they'd probably pee on it if I left it on 'em for more than five minutes. And I just don't feel like washing pee out of a bee costume. In the end Helen enjoys clothes, so Helen wears clothes.

I should totally do a post one day dedicated to Helen's fashions, would anyone like that?

Crippie's Tippie - If your animal hates costumes, don't force 'em to wear one. 

My Dog Is A Psychic Now

Ohai!

As the title suggests, something very interesting happened tonight.

As most of y'all know, I have a blind dog named Helen. She barks whenever she hears noises that displease her. These noises can vary from knock on the door, people shouting, The Jersey Shore, Angel, strangers, the sound of a door opening etc. Helen also sleeps in my bed with me, she likes my pillows and she also takes pride in defending me from serial killers every night.

Anyways, tonight I heard noises which I thought where just my house settling, cause ya know, houses do that. Helen was NOT fond of these noises. Even though she was sleeping she would let out a little *grumble grumble* whenever she heard one. At first I would tell her "Helen, it's the house settling". The settling sounds continue sporadically for another hour or so. Each time Helen grumbles. These sounds were pretty damn faint. I kept looking at Helen like "Everyone else in the house is sleeping! What is wrong with you child?". Eventually these sounds got more and more frequent, and Helen was getting pissed at me. I'm still thinking Helen is an idiot until I hear a massive CRASH! I have bookshelves mounted to my wall. One fell down. Some rather heavy books came crashing down with it. I turned on my light to check out the damage, and even though Helen is blind I swear she was looking at me like "BITCH I TOLD YOU THAT WOULD HAPPEN!". Luckily no harm or damage was done. I guess my books were a little heavy.

Helen wouldn't stop judging me until I have her some treats. After she nommed on a few dog cookies, her smug little ass went back to bed. I'm now convinced that this little squirt is smarter than she looks.

I saved your life. YOU'RE WELCOME!  

BELLY RUBS OF GRATITUDE PLEASE! 

Crippie's Tippie - Don't put heavy books on wall mounted shelves

Helen's Tippie - LISTEN WHEN I'M BARKING AT THINGS! 

I Vant to Take Your Blood!

Mwahahahaha

We're inching ever closer to the one week point peoples! Fanny is starting to feel the pressure, she was hurting like a bitch today.

I started the whole pre-op process today with the ever traditional ceremony of the taking of the blood. Usually my veins cooperate with the lovely technicians but I've had times where either the person sucked (lol vampire pun) or my veins were being stupid. The person who took my blood did a good job  and I hardly felt it. Although the main reason I didn't feel anything was because I was rather distracted. Ya see, the room I was in was completely plastered in pictures of kittehs. Being the internet female that I am I just kept thinking of how hilarious kittehs were (and one of said kittehs looked like one of my biggest fans Mario). I was completely mesmerized with kittehs and the blood was taken before I even knew it. So thank you internet, you made that whole experience very much bearable. My arm was kinda sore for about an hour or so after and I hardly bruised... all in all... not bad.

Since Fanny's removal is inching closer and closer, I'm starting the final preparations... tons of practice on the stairs, crutches around the house, filing for disability, making sure the piggies are content, make sure meds are in order, and a tiny bit of grocery shopping (I'll get into that when we actually do it).

My actual pre-ops are scheduled for Wednesday morning, usually at this point I get a teeeeeeennyyy bit nervous. My appetite starts to decrease and all those sorta fun things. I haven't noticed any symptoms of anxiety yet :D We'll see what the rest of the week brings, I wouldn't be surprised if I royally jinxed myself with all this "I'M NOT NERVOUS LOL" speak. Alas, only time will tell.

On a completely random note, everyone in my house was watching "The Voice" tonight. Helen was facing the TV and she appeared to be "watching" it. All of the sudden they mention "TONIGHT IS THE START OF THE BLIND AUDITIONS" and Helen starts barking like a mad woman. Helen is just easily offended I guess, either that or she hates Carson Daily (distinct possibility there).

Crippie's Tippie - If you have pets, make sure that someone will be able to take care of your pets, and that you have enough supplies to keep them happy.

The Ballad of Helen

Salutations Everybody!

I hope all of my lovely readers had a fabulous weekend, chances are though Helen probably had the best weekend out of all of us. Saturday was the anniversary of Helen joining our family, thus she got spoils.

Helen started her life as a normal lil' Shih Tzu. She adopted by a family with small children and a big dog. For reasons unknown to me, Helen lost her sight when she was young. Allegedly she either whacked a wall reaaaaaaallllllyyyyyyyyyyy hard or fell off a bed. I wouldn't be surprised if an "accident" with the small children or big dog occurred. Either way her retinas wound up becoming detached. Helen was no longer an independent little puppy. She was scared and needed a lot of help finding her way around. Special needs puppies and young families don't quite mix. Helen spent most of her days in a bedroom all by herself. Eventually her family realized that they couldn't take care of her and handed Helen over to a rescue.

Flash forward to us finding out about a blind dog who needs to be held near constantly. After talking it over with the woman who had rescued Helen we opted to take a chance on the crippled puppy. We had to meet her. Hurricane Irene had just passed through and left the area with a good amount of flooding, but that didn't stop us from driving through it! We were slightly hesitant about adopting a blind dog, mainly because people kept telling us that blind dogs are vicious. As soon as we met Helen we knew she wasn't vicious. She would let anybody pick her up. We did notice that she was rather underweight, we could see her spine and ribcage. We have an excellent track record of plumping up underweight animals so that didn't bother us a bit. We knew she was perfect for our family.

Flash forward again and it's been a year since we made that decision, and we never second-guessed it. Helen blends in with our family perfectly. She gets oodles of love and attention from all of her humans. Angel is a doting big sister, she makes sure Helen stays the hell away from stairs. Helen makes for an excellent security system, she thinks that everyone who enters the house will kill her humans. She also barks at certain people on the TV, mainly anyone from The Jersey Shore.

We celebrated her anniversary by giving her ALL TIME favorite food... macaroni and cheese (small amount). She got to sit and the table with us and chow down while we sang happy birthday. Her big sister got some pieces of turkey so she was also insanely happy.

So heres to our little Helen Keller, may we have many more anniversaries!

Crippie's Tippie - If you want a pet... ADOPT

Helen's Tippie - Cheese is the bestest food EVER

Use the Stairs LIKE A BOSS

Ohai Everyone!

I hope y'all had a tremendous Thursday and a freakin' awesome Friday. My day went pretty damn well. I had the day off from work today so I got to hang out with some family friends who were in town. That alone would have made for a fun day, BUT it gets better. Ya see... I forgot that one of said friends was a physical therapist. Silly Crippie. We asked her about the whole stair situation because that was probably gonna be my biggest challenge coming home. Good thing we asked her how to do it because boooooooooooooyyy was method of getting up the stairs wrong. It turns out that when you cannot put any weight on your leg, the best way to get up the stairs is backwards. Yup, you heard me, backwards!

The new and improved plan of getting me up the stairs is simple... basically I grab on to my double railings (WHICH EVERY HOUSE NEEDS) and jump up each step backwards. Someone needs to stand in front of me to spot me, but yeah, it's relatively easy. Not to mention jumping up the stairs backwards with one leg sounds totally badass! I feel like such a daredevil! Now I have 10 days to make sure my arms are strong enough for this feat of awesomeness.

Today we also took Angel and Helen to the vet for a post-op check if you will. Angel had a pretty good time, she got to go in the car, smell some awesome new dogs, play with some of said dogs, and she didn't try to kill the vet! Helen on the other was not as pleased the outing, once she realized where she was the whole "DO NOT WANT" mentality kicked and she freaked out a bit. She felt better after her 30 second (no exaggeration) check-up. Speaking of Helen tomorrow is her 1 year adoption anniversary!  It's hard to believe that little pipsqueak has been with us for an entire year. How are we gonna celebrate? With her favorite food of course! We gave Angel a hamburger for her birthday, but Helen is not the hugest fan of meats. Helen loves all things cheese. Heaven help you if you try to eat a string cheese near this dog, because she will try to kill you for it. So we are gonna celebrate by letting Helen have some cheesy products. Yes, we know that cheese is really not a great thing for dogs, but she has it in moderation.

And as promised... ANIMAL PICTURES TO MAKE UP FOR A SHORTER POST!

You know what would help me sleep... CHEEEEEESSSSSEEEEEEEEEE 

Angel and Helen sleeping

Sleeping Beauty

And representing the piggies... here's Frida being awake and cute

Crippie's Tippie - BEFRIEND A PHYSICAL THERAPIST!!! 

Crippie Gets Trolled By Several Small Animals

Ello Everybody, I hope all my readers are keeping safe with the Hurricane/Tropical Storm

Yup, it's another one of those "Lol, I can't sleep so I'm blogging at 3 in the morning" kinda days. Go figure, I can't sleep on a day that I really should be getting a good night sleep, oh wells. And why should I be getting a good night sleep? What's so special about tomorrow (today, whatever)? I'm not gonna tell y'all just yet, but I will say that I'm going to a super awesome groovy place tomorrow and I'm very excited.

In the meantime my pets have been trolling for the past two days.

First let's start with the doggies. Angel and Helen went to the vet and needed to be sedated for a few hours. Angel is a 20 pound Lhasa Apso. It's pretty safe to say that she HATED her vet experience as she tried to kill the 3 people trying muzzle her. Once they finally knocked her out her teeth cleaning went well. When she woke up she was higher than a kite. She was an oddly snuggly puppy during the drive home and the remainder of the night asleep on my Grandma's couch. Today she woke with a general demeanor of "WHERE AM I... also... I'M SO HUNGRY". Angel was still pretty loopy today, she was rolling around on the floor, whacking into walls, sleeping in random places, all that fun stuff. She'll probably be back to her old self tomorrow, but in the meantime she's a silly puppy.

Helen is a 7 pound shih tzu. She also thought that killing the vet would be a wise idea. Once they sedated her, her cleaning went off without a hitch. When she woke up she was also higher than a kite. She would sleep, smile, scream at nothing, and occasionally crash into something. The funniest part of her adventure is that they needed to shave part of her legs. Angel had to be partially shaved too... but she isn't a little runt like Helen. Helen is now known as "Chicken Legs" and "Shih Poodle".

Last but not least, the guinea pigs. Mama Pig managed to scare the crap out of me today. Before I tell y'all this little story there is one thing you need to know, guinea pigs usually sleep with their eyes open... at least a little. I went to check on the pigs and I see Mama Pig sleeping peacefully, a little too peacefully. She's flat, her eyes are closed, she's not moving, I don't see her breathing, and her eyes look kinda greyish white. I stand there for a second and think "OH MY GOD SHE'S DEAD". I rattled a bag of treats, SHE DIDN'T FREAKIN' MOVE. Now I was realllllyyyyyy thinking that she was dead. Then I poked her and thank goodness she woke up, but she gave me the biggest stink eye that practically said "Bitch, I WAS SLEEPING". Thanks Mama Pig, you managed to scare the living daylights out of me. You win. Oy vey, I guess I need to remember that older pigs tend to be deeper sleepers.

Crippie's Tippie - Senior pigs are assholes, also shaved dogs are humorous 

I'm Still Not Afraid

Howdy Y'all! 

It's almost August 16th, and y'all know what that means right? It means that in a mere one month and two days I will be bidding adieu to Fanny the Ass Tumor. If it sounds like I'm excited, that's because I am. I cannot wait for her to be gone. I wonder what it will feel like to have her out, I'm sure my sciatic nerve will thank me. 

As I've said before, I'm rarely nervous in the weeks prior to surgery, even when I'm not particularly thrilled about the surgery in questions. There would be times when I would get a little uneasy though, mainly when I would get the forms for the surgery in the mail, or getting my pre-ops done, etc. Well, yesterday I received the forms for my surgery... instead of thinking "Eh crap, surgery" I thought "YUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSS". Lol, just as I was typing that Fanny sent a shooting pain up my spine. Maybe she doesn't like that I'm saying bad things about her ;) Bring it on, you won't be my problem for much longer!!! 

In guinea pig news, the Mama, Maggie, Nellie, and Frida are continuing to bond. Maggie is so happy to have company that her appetite has increased dramatically. When she was alone she hardly touched her hay, now she'll nosh on it throughout the day. She's starting to grow on the rest of the group, her introduction is actually going a lot smoother than Nellie's intro did. I'm pleasantly surprised with how well this has gone, and I'm kicking myself for not doing it sooner. 

In dog news, Helen went to the vet a few days ago for a check-up and some vaccines. While she was a very good girl the shots hurt her shoulders and they made her verrrrrryyyyyy sleepy. Helen is a lazy bum to begin with, so this just made her even more tired. How tired do you say? Well.......

She fell asleep while walking to her dinner. Helen is feeling much better now, but that was probably one of the cutest damn things I've ever seen in my life. Also, how trippy is my kitchen floor. Gotta love the 70's! 

Alas, I should probably head off to bed now, I've got another busy day ahead of me tomorrow.

Crippie's Tippie - try to see the good things in every situation. On the dark side I'm having surgery, on the bright side I will finally be rid of Fanny! 

Sleeping Crippie

Greetings!

I hope all my crippled comrades had a marvelous weekend, Crippie especially hopes that her local cripples enjoyed that heatwave. It was so freakin' hot this weekend, my goodness. Luckily I didn't have to outside for many reasons. I was worried about all of animals but thankfully I had no reason to worry. The piggies got through the heatwave unscathed, Helen enjoyed sleeping in the warm grass when she would go out for walks (she really is lazy), and Angel hated the weather, but she got ice cubes in her water which she enjoyed. So all is well in Crippie's animal kingdom.

This weekend was rather eventful for my family. I got the see the final two performances of my sister's show. The last couple of shows were damn near sold out. While I have no proof, I'm gonna say that my publicity is totally responsible for it. Crippie had a jolly time at all of the productions and I have now memorized most of the show. This happens every time I see one of my sister's shows. I end up memorizing 'em. I can still recite most of the songs from "Into The Woods" and that show was over 5 years ago :D. Anyways... here are some pics I took over the weekend...

Helen is a lazy bum

She steals my pillows, all the freakin' time 

A view near the playhouse, gotta love the Hudson River!

Passed a carnival on the way home 

Sunday on the Hudson with a Sailboat (broadway humor) 

And Crippie was killing time by taking pictures

Moving on, Crippie has a question for her readers. It seems that I have a loooooot of difficulty in the "going to sleep" department. My usual night time schedule is to usually go on the computer until I feel like I'm going to pass out. At the point I fall asleep rather quickly. The problem is that it is around 3-4 in the morning when this occurs. I could simply get off my damn computer at a decent hour, but here lies the problem... say Crippie is rather tired, but not ready to pass out tired. If I were to simply go to bed all of the sudden Fanny would decide to act up, so you've got a good 45 minutes of tossing and turning there. After I get comfy-ish my shoulder will be like "OHAI... I'm gonna hurt you now!" so I spend another 45 minutes popping my shoulder and tossing and turning. THEN my neck will be like, "Ya, know... I was comfier the other way". THEN my hip will be like "WTF... I WAS COMFY BEFORE!". Long story short it takes me hours to fall asleep. Me thinks I need to find a way to get to the "I'm about to pass out" stage sooner. Any suggestions readers? 

Crippie's Tippie - One thing I've tried that has had mild success was to do sudoko puzzles at night with low light. It strains my eyes and makes me sleepier sometimes. Other times I get really focused on the puzzle and stay up trying to solve it. Not perfect, but better than nothing.

Crippie Is A Busy Bee

Ohai,

Helen is beyond thrilled with all of her online admirers. Her giant head has already tripled in size! For those of you who are wondering, Helen is a Shih Tzu. The best part about small dogs is that you can reenact the opening sequence to The Lion King. It's not uncommon to see someone in my house going "MMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAA SSSSSAAAAAAAA WHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN YYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" while holding Helen up in the air. She seems to enjoy it.

Crippie had a very busy day today. I worked for 8 hours, came home, had dinner, and then babysat for an additional hour and a half. While many people would find a day like that hectic or annoying, Crippie rather enjoys them. I like keeping busy, it feels like that's what I should be doing. Tomorrow is my day off from work. I could've spent it at home on the computer but I'm not going to do that. Crippie is going to visit the piggies in the shelter again and if possible sign up to be a piggie volunteer. I would sign up to be a volunteer in general, but I can't take exactly take care of the dogs or cats (can't reach down to clean them up). The best part about tomorrow... Crippie has learned that there are GOATS at the animal shelter. Yes, goats, 5 goats to be exact. Crippie finds goats extremely entertaining and I want to meet them.

I feel like I am slowly but surely working on my New Year's Resolution of "finding a life and getting the hell out of my house". Even though volunteering at the shelter isn't the most "social" activity in the world it's an important activity nonetheless, and hey... gotta start somewhere.

And if y'all are wondering... I'm gonna keep posting about those guinea pigs until they find happy homes.

Crippie's Tippie - If you are in the market for a goat, check out the Warwick Valley Humane Society