ARE YOU BLIND!

Yo!

Funny story for y'all today...

Today was a day of doctor's appointments. I saw my pain doctor today. It went well but that's not the main story today. Angel and Helen went to the vet (they're fine, they just had check-ups and shots). It was an all day event. Right before I went into my doctor's appointment we received a call from the vet's office about the dogs. I answered the phone. The conversation went as follows...

Vet Person - Hi... um... we have some concerns about Angel and Helen
Crippie - Uh oh, what's wrong
Vet Person in a very nervous tone - Um... well... with Helen... we.... um... the doctor believes something is wrong with her eyes... he doesn't think she can see anything
Crippie - Well yeah... she's blind.
Vet Person - Oh... um... has she seen a specialist?
Crippie - Yeah, she has detached retinas. She's completely blind.
Vet Person - Oh... ok

Helen is blind eh?

So it looks like someone forgot to add the whole "HELEN IS FREAKING BLIND" thing to her record. LOL FAIL. Needless to say we've been joking about this event for the remainder of the day. Everyone is saying I should have told the vet person "BUT SHE COULD SEE THIS MORNING!" just to mess with her. We're also pretending to be devastated by this tragic turn of events in Helen's life. Helen is coping with this in the only way she knows how to, by sleeping, eating treats, and cuddling with her humans. She's so brave ;)

It's hard to be Helen

Seriously though, if you look at Helen's eyes it's really obvious that she cannot see. You can see through them when the light is right. 

Needless to say, today was thoroughly entertaining. Something tells me we're gonna be saying "OH MY GOD HELEN IS BLIND" at random times for the next few days

Crippie's Tippie - OH MY GOD HELEN IS BLIND!!!!!! 

Crippie's Actual Tippie - Sometimes it's better to laugh at the stupidity of others rather than getting mad at them

Oh Have A Heart

Yo!

Happy Wednesday everybody, hope it was a good one. My day was certainly eventful to say the least. Today was pre-op day. Usually my pre-ops are a breeze, a quick exam with relatively quick clearance. Alas, wasn't so simple this time around.

It appears that my heart is kinda special. Ya see, there have been times after surgery where my heart rate has either been high or irregular. It wasn't a huge deal or anything, I was just kept in the recovery room for a little while longer. When Pointy was removed my heart started racing while I was in recovery. A nurse woke me up to tell me this. I don't remember exactly what I said to her, but it was something along the lines of "that's great... NOW LET ME SLEEP". Ultimately my heart goes back to normal and I'm on my merry little way. I tell my doctors about it, but I really don't think anything of it.

Well, today I mentioned to my doctor that my heart will occasionally spazz out during recovery. The doctor did a quick examination and discovered that my heart is on the fast side... grrrrreeeeeeaaaaaaaatttttttttttt. At this point he makes me have an EKG and more blood work done to rule out a thyroid issue... super dooper. The EKG also said my heart was fast. I was starting to get nervous, I thought I wasn't going to get clearance. My mind was probably racing faster than my heart at that point (and if anyone is wondering, I don't feel my heart racing or anything, I had no idea my heart rate was high).

Fiiiinnnnnnaaaaaalllllllllyyyyyyy the doctor came back in and gave me my clearance... HALLELUJAH! BUT he's still concerned about my heart. I need to take some heart medicine before and after the surgery to slow it down a little, I'm also gonna need to have an echocardiogram one of these days. Funness. So yeah, definitely a whirlwind appointment, but I got my clearance for surgery. That's all that matters.

So, factoring in the potential heart problems, am I nervous yet? Meh. I doubt that there's anything "wrong" with my heart per say, I think it's just quirky. My dad is the same way. I'm kinda glad that my doctor is gonna try to fix the quirks for surgery sake. Hopefully the medicine will prevent any nurses from waking me up in the middle of my nap this time!

Crippie's Tippie - Tell your doctors about your little "quirks", they kinda need to know about 'em

Wow, My Hips Suck

Hiya!

Oh my good n' plenty thank you guys so much for your ninja healing vibes! I think they might've worked!
Alright, so here's how Crippie's appointment went... first the nurse who brought me to my room asked me some questions. She must've been new because she asked these questions while the door was still open and she left the x-rays of the last patient on the computer screen. While waiting for my doctor I analyzed the x-rays of the person before me. Crippie thinks their leg had to be broken and straightened with a rod a screws. Then my doctor came in for my check-up. The main focus was my hip. I mentioned that a tumor could be irritating the sciatic nerve. He did an exam which more or less involved poking my ass, it was kinda painful and I'm ticklish so I was giggling most of the time. He also asked how I know it's a tumor pressing on the nerve. The conversation that followed was pretty funny in my opinion...

Doctor - What makes you think a tumor is pressing on that nerve, can you feel a tumor?
Crippie - Most definitely, it's visible on my back
*doctor goes to examine my back and discovers Fanny The Ass Tumor*
Doctor - WHOA... yeaaaaaaaah... let's get you some x-rays

Then Crippie went into the x-ray room. I've had too many x-rays to count, Crippie is kinda upset that I can't glow in the dark yet. Anyway, it's kinda cute to see how the x-ray technician treats me. They always think I'm a n00b and try to be super gentle with me. Go figure this guy sounded super sweet and gentle but I don't think he realized his own strength. He was kinda rough positioning me, you'd think that if someone's x-ray order was for their hips you wouldn't grab the hip to position it. So the x-ray portion was uncomfortable to say the least, but the end results are totally worth the pain for me.

The top x-ray is my new one. The bottom one is the old one for comparison. As you can see Fanny The Ass Tumor has grown quite a bit since my last x-ray. The doctor says I need an MRI to determine is Fanny is irritating my nerve. If that's the case... Fanny's gotta go. On the plus side, that's not a terribly invasive surgery. Shockingly, Crippie has never had an MRI before, so that will be a fun new experience.

As for the whole "I CAN'T SIT" problem, according to the x-ray there are no tumors in that area that would cause a problem. My doctor thinks this issue exists because I am relatively petite, on the skinny side, and I sit down a lot. So apparently my ability to sit has cost me my ability to sit. Damn you irony, damn you. The doctor says a shot of cortisone to the butt could help. The thing is Crippie has an aversion to Cortisone and to having a needle in my ass. Yes, Crippie is well aware that I can tolerate a surgery but not a shot of cortisone in my ass... MOAR IRONY!!! Any suggestions about what to do readers?

Crippie is soooooooooooo glad that her appointment went better than expected. Mama Pig is doing well for the time being. She's getting tired of her medicine, at least she doesn't fight us about it (well, she took a wee on my mom who holding while I fed her). She sends everyone purrs, wheeks, and kisses. She loves attention from people, regardless of where they are.

Crippie's Tippie - The ability to read x-rays comes in realllllllyyyyyyyy handy at times

I'm Not Afraid

Greetings!

Sooooooooo sorry I wasn't able to post a blog update yesterday... internet crapped out :(

Anyways... Mama Pig's vet appointment was on Tuesday. From my research I made an educated guess that Mama Pig either had a bad UTI or bladder stones. Bladder stones killed Emma. The vet agreed with my educated guess and put her on some anti-biotics in a hope that it is a UTI. They're pina colada flavored and Mama Pig is very happy about that. She seems to be responding positively to the meds thus far but it's really to soon to tell. Crippie will be monitoring Mama for the next 3 weeks. Crippie also requested that the vet provide us with a "crisis kit" in the event that Mama Pig (or any of the pigs for that matter) take a sudden turn for the worst and we are unable to get to a vet. A guinea pig crisis kit consists of the following items...
1) Oxbow Critical Care - If you ever need to force feed your pig... this is what you feed 'em. This can be purchased online as well.
2) Metacam - Pain medicine, sometimes it will help ease the problem enough so the pig will make it through the night... other times it helps your pig cross the bridge without pain. Either way it's a must have.
3) Reglan - It's a motility drug that can help if your pig stops pooping and weeing and/or if your pig develops bloat. Bloat is damn near always lethal. Emma's bladder stones caused an inability to wee which caused bloat. I had some Reglan in the house so I gave her a 16th of a pill and it helped ease the bloat a little... it didn't save her, but I think it helped a little.
4) Pedialyte (you can obtain this yourself) - Its just a good thing for a sick pig to have in general, plus they freakin' love this stuff! I bought a little four pack of it in a "mixed fruit" flavor for the pigs (don't buy one big bottle... buy several little ones because this stuff expires within days of being opened). Anyway... I was giving to Mama Pig in the syringe and while she was happily drinking away all the other pigs had looks on their faces and were practically saying "DO WANT NOW' so Crippie had to gave everyone some. Aggie damn near ripped the syringe out of my hand she loved it that much.

Mama Pig like Pina Coladas & Getting Caught in the Rain

So yeah, that's the story there. Oh, almost forgot to tell you... throughout this whole experience the person most affected (besides Mama) is without a doubt Frida. She looked so concerned whenever we took Mama out of the cage to take of her and she would nuzzle and kiss her as soon as we put her back in. If Mama was sleeping in a tunnel Frida would sleep right beside that tunnel even if that meant that she wasn't hiding somewhere (most pigs like to be hidden when they sleep). It's probably the cutest thing I've seen in a good long while.

Moving on to cripple news, tomorrow is my orthopedist appointment. People ask me if I get nervous about doctor's appointments, especially one's that could deliver bad news. Honestly, I don't get nervous.  When Crippie was younger, you bet your ass I was nervous... I wasn't used to being sick. Now I'm used to this stuff. Crippie's actually looking forward to my appointment. I'm rather curious as to what condition my hips are in now. As soon as I get a copy of my x-ray I will totes post a comparison of the old and new ones. Judging by my recent problems I don't think this visit will bring much of good news, but as long as the bad news can be treated I'm OK. Of course, I hope that I won't need surgery... or least if I need a surgery I hope it's an easy one, not one of those "LOL... LET'S REPLACE YOUR HIP" kinda things. I will definitely keep y'all posted with what the doctor says.

Crippie's Tippie - When going to a doctors appointment of this nature dress accordingly, no metal, tanktop under your shirt, shoes that the doctor can properly gauge your gait in, etc.

NHBPM- Crippie Yells At Doctors

Hi Everybody!

I hope you guys had a good day, I went to go see "A Very Harold & Kumar Christmas"... OMG SO FRIGGIN FUNNY, I LOVED IT. 

Moving on to NHBPM, Today's topic is... 

If I could do anything as a Health Activist... Get aspirational. Money is no longer an option. What is your biggest goal that is now possible? How could you get there? Now bring it back down to size. How much of this can you accomplish now, in a year, in five years?

If I could do anything as a health activist I would get doctors to understand this one teeny tiny itty bitty concept...

Seriously, this is the only thing I would really love to get across as a health activist. I'm tired of hearing all my crippled friend's saying that their doctors don't believe they are in pain. Listen to us and don't assume we are at your office to obtain drugs. I'm not talking just about drugs here, I went to a doctor once who refused to treat me because he thought I wanted to be cure... he clearly didn't hear me say multiple times that "I just want to manage". If I was doing this for attention I wouldn't be coming in with my x-rays and full medical record. I'd be using some lame ass story like "I hurt my ankle, I think I have this super rare disease I saw on House one time". *Does Forest Gump impersonation* That's all I have to say about that. 

Crippie's Tipper- Doctors... DO YOUR JOB RIGHT AND LISTEN TO YOUR DAMN PATIENTS

This post was written as part of NHBPM – 30 health posts in 30 days: http://bit.ly/vU0g9J 

Doctor Visits and Blind Puppies

Hello There!

I hope everybody has been enjoying their week. I've been pretty busy working. Thursdays are my days off so I did what any normal 22 year old would do on a day like this, I went to my pain management doctor for my bi-monthly checkup. The check-up went well, no complaints and no med changes, works for me. My doctor got to see my in my full out "it is raining and I can't move" mode and she was quite fascinated by it.
I think that having a nice doctor makes the whole "having to go to the doctor" experience suck a whole lot less. If my physician was a total asshole I would be pretty miserable about having to go. I mean, whenever I have to go to this doctor I have to walk into a building that is filled with sick, elderly people, thus making me feel sick and old. Answering all the initial questions like "how long have you this problem" and "where does it hurt" with answers like "all of my life" and "well... lets just say everything from the neck down hurts" can be very disheartening, especially when the nurse very awkwardly says "oh". Luckily my doctor is awesome, she treats me like a human, a young one at that. We had a dandy conversation about me finding employment and all fun stuff. All the other crap related to doctor's visits I can deal with, lord knows there are people who have far worse experiences. I cannot deal with a crappy doctor, I'd have to be pretty freakin' desperate before I let some jerk take care of me.

On a lighter note, my "niece" Helen is adjusting to life at my house rather nicely. She's getting very good at not smacking into walls. You can hardly tell she is blind sometimes. Naturally Auntie Crippie spoils Helen and gives her lots of treats and belly rubs. I figured you guys would want to behold the cuteness that is Helen, so here are some pictures of us chillin'

Crippie's Tippie- Finding a doctor that treats you like a person versus a patient sometimes makes all the difference in the world.

Crippie Cannot Come Up With An Innovative Title

Hello,

OH NOES, I'VE LOST MY SARCASM AND WIT, HOW WILL I GO ONNNNNNNN!

Before I begin my post I want to send my well wishes to the people of Norway. I cannot imagine the heartbreak those families are going through. Some of my best cripple buddies live in Norway and I am so thankful that they are unharmed.

Alas, I don't have any cripple related questions to answer today, but I will tell you about my day and the next couple of days ahead. It is gonna be oddly busy after all.

I went to my pain management doctor today. I'm still good with my pain meds, but I have to cut down on my arthritis medicine by half, otherwise it might cause an ulcer one day... uh oh. If I do get an ulcer I won't be able to take this medication ever again... double uh oh. So like I said here, pain medications and medication in general are not something to be taken lightly. It is a serious matter and it could have very dangerous consequences. Worst case scenario, I overdose and die, see... very serious consequences.

Even though I occasionally get bad news at doctor's visits, apparently I'm quite a hoot while I'm there. Here's what I did today...
1) Wrote a song for "Soylent Green: The Musical!" to the tune of Edelweiss.
2) Told a nurse that I only go to the Target pharmacy because they have pretty bottles (which is true).
3) Got my doctor to give out my business cards to her patients (I love my doctor).

While it was a very entertaining doctors visit, the visit itself along with the trip to Target to get my meds refilled rendered me useless for the day. It's also raining here so that didn't help.

Tomorrow is my intake appointment for job placement help. I'm not exactly nervous about the meeting, more curious if anything. I just don't know what to expect. I have my resume, portfolio, business cards, samples of work to bring with me so I think I'm prepared for everything. I'll definitely update the blog tomorrow to let y'all know what the intake is like.

Saturday is gonna be awesome, it's CRIPPLEFEST! Cripplefest is a small gathering that has been occurring at my house since I was 12 where people with my disability come over and hang out for the day. We eat, have scar wars, have tumor wars, epic cane battles, and in general make a bunch of cripple related jokes. Cripplefest is one of the highlights of my year, I love not being the only cripple in a room and I REALLY love being in a place where crippies are not the minority. It's super fun!

So in conclusion to this really hodge-podged post... um.... yeaaaahhh... I got nothing

Crippie's Tippie- Make sure you like your doctors, if you think your doctor is a dick you're less likely to do what they tell you to do.