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Ohai!

Crippie hopes everyone has been enjoying their week thus far. Mine has been getting increasingly better. Mama Pig is slowly but surely continuing to recover. Crippie is still flushing her out every night but it's becoming so much easier. Since Crippie doesn't have work tomorrow I'll probably be flushing Mama several times tomorrow, hopefully that will get the remaining crap out. 

Since Mama Pig has been feeling better all the piggies have really enjoyed mooching off her illness. She needs extra food and it is impossible to just feed one piggie ;). Also Nellie and Aggie really love Pedialyte and water mixed together, so they get a little bit of "special juice" when Mama gets it. 

Now the Mama Pig seems to be stabilizing Crippie can start blogging about things other than guinea pigs... shocking! In cripple news, I'm still waiting for approval for my MRI. We're gonna call tomorrow and be all like "Ohai, I can haz approval? kthnxbai". Crippie really wants to get the ball rolling with this thing. I want to get this damn MRI done, find out whats going on, and treat it. Crippie feels like this Fanny matter is holding me back. Crippie isn't afraid of this pending MRI at all... I'm not claustrophobic (I rather enjoy small spaces) and I'm not prone to headaches. I'm not afraid of having Fanny removed if need be. At this point, Crippie just wants to nip this thing in the butt (pun intended)

The rain has also been kicking Crippie's ass and furthering her desire to get this damn MRI done. I really don't enjoy saying "the rain is making my arthritis and sciatica act up", definitely doesn't sound like something your average 23 year old would say. Oh well, Crippie is coping with the weather as best as she can. I have a bottle of extra strength tylenol at work and I've been popping several of those bad boys a day. Crippie is also having a flare up in her right hand and index finger. Crippie tries to stretch out her fingers and muscles when this happens, it makes my hand look like a claw but it's oddly comfy. Currently my hand is wrapped up in an ace bandage, again feels surprisingly comfy. 

So that's about it folks. Mama Pig is getting better and I hate changes with barometric pressure. I eagerly await to blog about things other than sick piggies, like the Tony nominations for example! 

Crippie's Tippie - Be cautious if you plan on popping tylenol like candy. Like most pain meds it can do damage to your tummy if you have massive amounts of it. I try not to go over 2,500mg a day, but that's just Crippie.

Hips To Be Square

HAPPY FEBRUARY!

Dontcha just love punny titles, Crippie certainly does! There is a reason for the punny though. Crippie's hips have been bothering her for... I dunno... maybe 5-ish years.

Yup, those are Crippie's hippies (and this x-ray is 4 years old so God only knows what they look like now). For anyone who has ever wondered what MHE was, it's the bumps and irregularities on my bones. It's most clearly visible in my entire left hip socket and in that circle on the right side of the x-ray (why yes that is baseball sized tumor on my back side).
Shockingly, my completely effed up left hip doens't bother me, at all. Literally no pain from that site. My right hip is the one that is being a mofo. It almost always causes me some form of discomfort, it's like a feeling like a lead balloon is expanding in it. Me thinks most of this pain is from arthritis.
I'm wondering if there are any solutions you guys could recommend? Why I am telling this to you, my lovely readers instead of a doctor? I know my doctor's answer, invasive surgery that involves dislocating the hip to remove whatever tumors are getting in my way and causing the inflammation. Yeaaaaaaahhhhhhh... noooooooooo. Crippie knows her hips will not last for her entire life. My guess is that I will have hip replacement surgery within the next 20 years. In the meantime I want to prolong the life of my hips for as long as humanly possible. Any hippie tippie's readers?

Crippie's Tippie- Learn to read x-rays, it comes in surprisingly handy at times. 

Luck Be A Piggie Tonight

Yo!

I just wanted to say a quick thank you to everyone who has been posting such sweet comments here, y'all are seriously awesome. I'm also glad to see that people are enjoying my pee cup story. Yeah, Crippie has arthritis and tumors in her fingers, so opening jars and bottles is challenging to say the least. Can any of my wonderful readers recommend a jar/bottle opener that works for someone with a stupidly weak grip? I really haven't been able to find any good ones.

Carrying on, today was kinda scary for Crippie and her family. Last night I was taking care of my piggies when I noticed a fair amount of blood in one of the cages. After some examinations I found out the blood was coming from Emma. Upon further inspection I also found a tumor on her tummy. Internet research told me this was reallyyyy not good. The internet said Emma would need surgery. Guinea Pigs and surgery don't always mesh well. So last night Crippie was stressing out to say the least over Emma's possible prognosis. We took Emma to the vet today after I got home from work. Emma was not pleased about the whole prospect of seeing a vet, she told me so by taking a massive wee on me on the ride to the vet. The vet (who looked and acted a little too much like Dr. Cox from "Scrubs") thought Emma either had a bladder stone, an abscess, or a really bad infection in the uterus. ALL of those things require surgery to fix... SUPER. The doctor wanted an x-ray to properly diagnose her. Emma didn't like the idea of an x-ray, she let us know by taking a wee on my mom. Emma was a good girl though and let the vet take x-rays of her. I was getting purdy damn worried as to what the x-rays would show, much to my surprise the x-rays showed that Emma has no serious health issues... YAY EMMA! The vet then concluded that Emma probably has a infection that caused the tumor and the blood, some antibiotics should hopefully take care of the problem. So we have to give Emma cherry flavored anti-biotics for the next week, works for me.

I'm soooooooooooo freakin' happy that Emma doesn't need surgery. Let's just hope that the anti-biotics work. If y'all could send your ninja healing vibes to Emma I'd greatly appreciate it.

Crippie's Tippie- Normals make the best can and jar openers

Emma's Tippie - HAY STICKS ARE FREAKIN' AWESOME... and please keep a watchful eye on your pets so you know when they get sick


P.S. Yes, Crippie is aware that she made two posts in a row related to pee

Crippie Submits To A Random Drug Test!

Ohai!

Crippie certainly had an eventful day today. I had my pain management appointment in the morning. It went better than expected. My doctor opted to not change the dosage of my medicine, but the amount of pills I have. That way if I need more I can use it. I'm very relieved that I didn't need a full out dosage increase. The doctor also recommended that I take extra strength acetaminophen during the day as needed. Also, as the title suggests I had to submit to a random drug test, just to make sure that Crippie isn't a druggie. Funny story about that, the drug test involves peeing in a cup. The nurse gave me a cup with a very secure lid on it and showed me to the bathroom. I go into the bathroom, try to open the cup, and gosh darn it I cannot get the damn cup open (arthritis + stupid cup = lethal combo). So Crippie had to go back to the nurse and ask her to open the pee cup, that wasn't humiliating at alllllll. Once the drug test was completed we continued on to do other errands.
My mom and I went to get some supplies for the pets at a local petco, and while I really do not advise buying any animals from there I couldn't help but snap a few shots of some the little critters they had.

Speaking of cute animals, Frida is in the running to be featured on a site about cute animals. Vote for her HERE. 

Anyway, after we finished running errands I collapsed on the couch for the next few hours. I'd call today a success. I took the extra dose of medicine tonight, let's hope it works.

Crippie's Tippie- If you know that you have issues opening jars, ask the nurse to open your pee cup BEFORE you go into the bathroom. 

Well... Now What?

Happy December!

After 30 days of having prompts I have to get used to coming up with my own topics again! I figured I'd jus do a quick Crippie update on everything that's goin' on my life since I really haven't posted about it in a month.
Work- Work is going pretty well. I'm working between 30-60 hours a week at the moment. While it is very tiring thankfully that tiredness doesn't kick in until after I've driven home. Once I get home I have enough energy to play with the pets and eat dinner, that's about it.
Driving- Having a set of wheels is purdy damn awesome. I'm having fewer driving related anxiety attacks, which is good. Although I'm having more anxiety about running out of gas (I'm not quite comfortable with driving to the gas station by myself yet), but that will go away eventually.
Arthritis- As far I'm aware my arthritis hasn't been causing any issues. My hips are ok and I can move my fingers for the time being. Not bad considering I'm on a lesser dose of anti-inflammatory drugs.
MHE- My MHE hasn't been terrible. There are some tumors in my ribcage that have been catching on things recently... not cool. It's not the worst rib flare-up I've had so I really can't complain.

I do have a plan of revenge for my stupid freakin' ribcage. Sunday is Crippie's birthday (23... YAY ME). Crippie's college roomie is coming out for the weekend and we are both getting tattoos. Guess where I'm getting mine... yup, ribcage. That'll show those stupid tumors that I don't care if they catch on something or not. I'll post more about that on Monday (with pictures, no worries).

So that's about it, definitely have some interesting stuff going on right now :).  

Crippie's Tippie- Heating blankets work wonders when the winter achies come around.

CRIPPLEQUAKE

Howdy Y'all

Yes it is true, I SURVIVED THE GREAT NEW YORK EARTHQUAKE! I hope you all enjoy my incredible story about my struggle for survival during the natural disaster.

I was at home, minding my own business, just sitting on the couch when all of the sudden I notice that the couch is vibrating. My crippie survival instincts kicked in and I thought "Gee, this is weird, the couch is vibrating, I guess the washing machine is acting up". I bravely stayed on that couch for an additional 10 seconds and then I realized that the ceiling fan was also shaking. It was then I realized "hmm, that's weird, everything is still shaking". I courageously continued to sit on that sofa for an incredible 15 seconds until the shaking stopped. It was a shocking 30 minutes after that when I realized "HOLY CRAP I JUST EXPERIENCED AN EARTHQUAKE... YAY ME". 

In other words I was pretty damn oblivious during the whole thing. There was no damage to the house, all of the pets were unharmed and unfazed by the situation (more than half of them slept through it). I have decided to call the "great NY quake" by a more fitting "cripplequake", cause let's face it people... it was purdy weak. 

While cripplequake was really weak, I think it caused me a fair amount of weather related pain. My hip has been in really bad shape for the past few days. Like, its really painful for me to walk unaided bad. On the morning of cripplequake pain in my hip had literally rendered me completely useless. That's why I was sitting on the couch during said quake, cause I was in too much pain to do anything else. Me thinks the pending hurricane is also causing me much discomfort. So yeah, I am not a happy camper with this weather. 

This hip pain has really been kicking in me the butt. I'm crossing my fingers that it is weather related pain not "giant tumor in your hip is growing" pain. If it's the second there might be another huge surgery on the horizon... craptacular. 

Crippie's Question For People With Hip Pain- What do you do to alleviate it? Do exercises help? Vitamins? Acupuncture? Anything? If you have an answer post your answer in the comment section *puppy does eyes*

Crippie Cannot Come Up With An Innovative Title

Hello,

OH NOES, I'VE LOST MY SARCASM AND WIT, HOW WILL I GO ONNNNNNNN!

Before I begin my post I want to send my well wishes to the people of Norway. I cannot imagine the heartbreak those families are going through. Some of my best cripple buddies live in Norway and I am so thankful that they are unharmed.

Alas, I don't have any cripple related questions to answer today, but I will tell you about my day and the next couple of days ahead. It is gonna be oddly busy after all.

I went to my pain management doctor today. I'm still good with my pain meds, but I have to cut down on my arthritis medicine by half, otherwise it might cause an ulcer one day... uh oh. If I do get an ulcer I won't be able to take this medication ever again... double uh oh. So like I said here, pain medications and medication in general are not something to be taken lightly. It is a serious matter and it could have very dangerous consequences. Worst case scenario, I overdose and die, see... very serious consequences.

Even though I occasionally get bad news at doctor's visits, apparently I'm quite a hoot while I'm there. Here's what I did today...
1) Wrote a song for "Soylent Green: The Musical!" to the tune of Edelweiss.
2) Told a nurse that I only go to the Target pharmacy because they have pretty bottles (which is true).
3) Got my doctor to give out my business cards to her patients (I love my doctor).

While it was a very entertaining doctors visit, the visit itself along with the trip to Target to get my meds refilled rendered me useless for the day. It's also raining here so that didn't help.

Tomorrow is my intake appointment for job placement help. I'm not exactly nervous about the meeting, more curious if anything. I just don't know what to expect. I have my resume, portfolio, business cards, samples of work to bring with me so I think I'm prepared for everything. I'll definitely update the blog tomorrow to let y'all know what the intake is like.

Saturday is gonna be awesome, it's CRIPPLEFEST! Cripplefest is a small gathering that has been occurring at my house since I was 12 where people with my disability come over and hang out for the day. We eat, have scar wars, have tumor wars, epic cane battles, and in general make a bunch of cripple related jokes. Cripplefest is one of the highlights of my year, I love not being the only cripple in a room and I REALLY love being in a place where crippies are not the minority. It's super fun!

So in conclusion to this really hodge-podged post... um.... yeaaaahhh... I got nothing

Crippie's Tippie- Make sure you like your doctors, if you think your doctor is a dick you're less likely to do what they tell you to do.

IT'S GON' RAIN!

Hello!

As my fellow New Yorkers might have noticed... this past week's weather has been interesting to say the least. We had a few good torrential downpours by me. When normal people hear the words "IT'S GON' RAIN" from any weather person apart from Ollie Williams they generally think time to get out the umbrella ella ella ella eh eh... DAMN RIHANNA. When I hear "IT'S GON' RAIN" I think "IT'S GON' HURT". As mentioned here, one of the reasons I am a crippie is that I have arthritis. My arthritis is on the minor side compared to, let's say an elderly person, but I have it none the less. Changes in barometric pressure and humidity have a profound effect on people with arthritis. Said changes cause our joints to further swell, and thus more pain. Several of this weeks storms literally rendered me useless. I was going to blog about something but I could barely move my hands. Again, keep in mind my arthritis isn't terrible, I can only imagine what people with severe arthritis go though. So what does a crippie do in times of massive weather changes? I recommend the following things...
1) Pain medications
2) Moist heat
3) Rest

On to more pressing issues. Whilst rendered useless I went to www.urbandictionary.com and typed in the word "crippie". Much to my dismay the definition had NOTHING to do with cripples at all, it meant "very good pot". I tried to add my own definition for the word, but alas it was rejected. Loyal readers, join me in revamping Urban Dictionary's definition of the word crippie by submitting your own definition. If possible, try not to make it about drugs or some perverted sex act... it's been done enough.

Crippie's Tippie- Arthritis can be a bitch if not properly treated and managed. If you have arthritis, take care of yourself. Do your exercises, take your medicines, take your vitamins, etc. I recommend Omega 3 fish oils, glucosamine, and chondroitin. 

Crippie Explains Why She Is a Cripple

Greetings,


Since a main focus of this blog is going to be me dealing with my disability, I should probably mention why I'm a cripple. Ready for the laundry list readers?


1- Multiple Hereditary Exostoses (MHE)
What is it- A genetic disorder that causes benign tumors to grow on your bones.
What does it cause- Pain, fatigue, limited mobility, possible mental side effects.
Is it curable- Nope, the only treatment is pain medicine and surgery. I've had 10 of them.
Will it go away/get better- Nope, if anything I'll get worse with age.


2- Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy (RSD)
What is it- A chronic illness that involves nerve damage.
What does it cause- A whole lotta pain, more pain, insane amount of pain, hypersensitivity.
Is It curable- Depends on when you catch it.
Will it go away/get better- It can go into remission but it never really "goes away".


3- Early On-Set Osteoarthritis
What is it- A chronic illness that involves swelling of the joints.
What does it cause- Pain and restricted movement.
Is it curable- It's treatable.
Will it go away/get better- No, it will probably get worse with the natural aging process.


So those are the main diseases that I have. They definitely impact my everyday life. I walk with a cane because tumors in my hips are slowly pushing them out of socket and arthritis is destroying what cartilage I have left there. Pain and restricted mobility have always been and always will be a part of my life. I guess after 20+ years of living like this I'm getting used to it. I'll post in future posts how I cope.


Crippie's Tippie Of The Day- Don't underestimate how heavy a cane can be. My cane is really heavy, piss me off and feel my wrath.