The Rain in Spain Mainly Causes Me Pain

Oh hello!

I think it's pretty clear that I love me punny titles.

Gotta say, I have to thank you guys for being awesome and not spamming my email and or comment section with hurtful comments. GO YOU! I love mature adults sometimes <3 (Anyone who blogs will know the feeling)

Movin' on, my week's been pretty good. The only thing that has sucked is the weather. I don't know about you guys but mother nature hates me. I can stand the heatwave well enough, but we've been in a constant state of "Chance of Thunderstorms Everyday" for the past 2 weeks or so. Naturally it really hasn't rained yet. So I'm constantly feeling like ITS GON RAIN! Ugh... not fun. A few days ago at work I was on my feet for maybe 10 minutes, if that... and my back was killing me the rest of the day because of it. WTF?!?!?! For the record, I can stand, but standing in the same place for more than a few minutes causes unwanted pressure on my hips, knees, and back apparently. 

Oh well, I reckon the show must go on. Crippie is going to be a social creature this weekend, doin' stuff... and thaaaaannnnnngggsss. And... um... NEXT SUNDAY IS CRIPPLEFEST! OMMMMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!! I'm so freaking excited for it! I hear there will be a bunch of small children there, which only means one thing... I will get the crap beat outta me by a gang of small humans. Ya see, Crippie is one of those people who enjoys roughhousing with small children. I don't particularly mind being beaten up by a bunch of three-year-old because 99% of the time I'm asking for it. Needless to say it will be a freaking awesome couple of weeks ahead of me and I am very much looking forward to them! :D

Crippie's Tippie - Don't let pain get in the way of doing stuff and thangs

Thank God February Is A Short Month

Ohai!

WOW! I suck! I'm SO sorry about my lack of posts. All I can say is that the weather has been royally kicking my ass. How much so? Well, I was able to post after having a damn surgery, but not while it's raining, or when the weather is changing... which has pretty much been every freaking day. >.<

I also realized that I missed this blog's 2 year "blogversary" thing! Can't believe I forgot that. I swear this weather is making my whole system go outta whack. Either that or I was just too uncomfortable to remember/care.

Moving on, I hope all of my crippled comrades had dandy valentine's days. I ate copious amounts of chocolate with peanut butter and watched "As Told By Ginger" on YouTube (pro-tip... do NOT watch the very last season of As Told By Ginger, it will destroy your childhood). These days when I'm not distracting myself with 90's cartoons I'm either a) watching "The Walking Dead" (GOVERNOR Y U KILL AXEL) b) painting my nails and reorganizing my collection c) browsing reddit d) playing with the animals. So yeah... not much doin' here.

To make up for my total lack of posts... here's some pics!

I turned Angel into a walker

Valentine's mani

Random dot mani

Helen keeping me company

I've actually got a busy day ahead of me tomorrow, I should get some sleep. I'll try to post regularly again. I SWEAR! 

Crippie's Tippie - Heat packs are freaking awesome when the weather is anything but 

Seriously, I Want Spring

Howdy Y'all

Yup, the weather still sucks. A lot. A whole lot. I'm still in a fair amount of pain and it looks like it is going to snow some more on Wednesday and again on Saturday. It's pretty safe to say that I have a hate/hate relationship with the weather right now. Oh, if any of you guys were wondering, this is how much snow Nemo left us (also, what kind of name is Nemo... storms should not be named after crippled fish)

On the bright side, I've had oodles of distractions to somewhat take my mind off the pain. This weekend it was the "The Walking Dead" Marathon on Saturday followed by the season premiere on Sunday. Needless to say I was pretty damn happy about that. So happy that I decided to make another playlist for y'all... enjoy!

As always my animals somehow manage to lift my spirits. Yesterday I caught Mama Pig being greedy.

Head under one bed, butt on another. My word Mama Pig! Save one bed for your babies... or don't...

And even though I no longer have a massive bag of jerky in my room, Angel still thinks that she'll get some if she smiles enough (I never gave her any btw). 

Well, I reckon that's it for tonight, I've got a long day ahead of me tomorrow. I hope y'all have an awesome, pain-free day :D

Crippie's Tippie - Too crippled to shovel snow? Try to blackmail befriend some normals so they'll do it for you! 

I Can Haz Spring? Kthnxbai

Howdy Y'all! 

Sorry I haven't been posting this week. Ya see, had I posted everyday it would have sounded something like this...

"Hey guys,

Hope y'all are having an awesome day. Crippie is certainly trying to have an awesome day but the weather is making that really freaking difficult. All of the pressure changes and precipitation have made for a very pain filled day. My (Insert either: ribs, hand, wrist, arm, leg, hip or back depending on the day) was killing me today. As always I curled up with my BFF Glenn the heat pack as soon as I got home."

I'm used to being slightly incapacitated by the occasional weather shift, but these constant weather changes are killing me. I swear I don't remember the last time it was this bad. Weeks of constant barometric pressure changes... eff you mother nature... eff you. 

Presently my hip is being a bitch, yesterday it was my ribs, the day before my wrist. I'm trying to predict what will hurt me tomorrow since I'm already feeling the shifts for Friday's "blizzard". I've got my wrist brace and my rib brace ready to go, let's hope I don't need 'em. On the bright side, I don't think I have to work on Friday, so I can spend the day at home with Glenn the heat pack. 

These days I've honestly been too damn uncomfortable to do much of anything. All of my energy spoons are spent tolerating pain at work. Blaaaaah, all I can say is that the damn groundhog had better be freakin' right about an early Spring, cause I've had enough of winter. 

To make up for this mildly depressing post... here's some talking animals. I was almost crying from laughter when I saw this... who am I kidding... I was crying from laughter when I saw this! 

Crippie's Tippie - When in doubt, talking animals will always make you feel better

Blllaaaarrrrrggggghhhhhhhh

Bleeeeehhhhhhhhhhh

Ello everyone, I hope y'all are enjoying your weeks thus far. Mine's been pretty good except for one thing... THIS FREAKING WEATHER! The snow, the ice, the rain, the barometric pressure changes... my tumor-riddled body pretty much hates me now. I've been hanging out with my best buddies Glenn the Heat Pack and other awesome friend PAIN KILLERS. They've been making everything tolerable, but I'm pretty uncomfortable right now. The past few days have basically been like this for me...

Yuuuuupppppp, one of those weeks. I've been trying to distract myself from all the discomfort. Wanna see what I've been up to? Well, when I'm not at work I am either...

Playing with animals, cause they're cute and all that jazz. Maggie wants you all to know that she is adorable. Helen wanted to tell you all something, but she forgot what it was and promptly fell asleep.

I painted my nails an obscene number of times. This one here was 7 coats of polish and I removed it the next day. I also reorganized my nail polish container. During this process I might have sorta admitted to being addicted to nail polish, meh... oh well ;)

Lastly, I've been taking stupid/borderline horrifying pictures of myself with the "Walking Dead: Dead Yourself App". Let's face it, if there's one thing to truly brighten my spirits, it's the fact that "The Walking Dead" returns in less than two weeks! W0000t. I also recently noticed that on top me naming my heat pack Glenn, my guinea pig is named Maggie, and my car is named Penny... I've been naming things after Walking Dead characters even before the show aired! I also have relatives named Carl and Andrea.... GASP... I NEED TO FIND MORE THINGS TO NAME AFTER TWD CHARACTERS! I think I might have to start calling Helen T-Dog from now on 0.0 

And on a completely unrelated note, I found a tube of scar treatment lotion in my bathroom, so I'm trying it out to see if it does anything. 

Well, that's it for tonight folks. I hope the weather isn't kicking y'alls asses too.

Crippie's Tippie - Random, but if you're using glitter nail polish, use Elmer's Glue as a basecoat, that way it will all peel off

Sandy Land

Why Hello There!

Hurricane Sandy...  yeaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh

I seriously hope that all you guys stay safe and sound over the next couple of days. I live in New York and will probably be on high alert from Sunday through Tuesday night. Well, this certainly explains why I've been in so much pain over the past few days... I CAN PREDICT HURRICANES... YAY ME!!!

But in all seriousness... this Hurricane has the potential to suuuuucccccccckkkkkkkk. Personally, I live on a road with tall trees very close power lines. Hurricane Irene took out one of our trees last year, and the freakin' Halloween snow storm took out some more of 'em. If y'all could sending "STAY WHERE YOU ARE" vibes to my remaining trees it would be greatly appreciated. 

I figured since we're dealing with the "storm of the century" I'd make a quick little checklist of things cripples, guinea pigs, and dogs need.

CRIPPLES

- YOUR MEDICATIONS

- Disposable heat or ice packs, hand warmers might also benefit 

- If need be, use glow in the dark tape to mark things in your house (canes, doorways, whatever) 

GUINEA PIGS

- Enclosed Hiding places (they need them for warmth)

- Fleece (also warmth)

- Food & Hay for at least a week. If you are running low, Oxbow brand pellets and hay are acceptable

- Disposable Hand warmers (if it gets insanely cold you can wrap one in a sock and put it in their cage)

- If possible, move pigs away from windows, etc

- Bedding, if you use fleece you might wanna pick up some extra because you might not be able to wash it. If you use carefresh I recommend Kaytee Clean and Cozy. 

DOGS

- Food 

- Coats (if necessary)

- Puppy pads, newspapers, extra paper towels, baggies, garbage bags... anything you might need in the event that it is too dangerous to walk your dog. 

There ya go, I like how most of my tips are for guinea pigs... lol. I really hope that nothing terrible happens to in this storm and that each and every one of my readers makes it through safely. I'm sending "PLEASE DON'T LET ANYTHING BAD HAPPEN" vibes to y'all.

Crippie's Tippie - Don't do anything stupid that might jeopardize your life over the next few days

Tumor, With Hate

Ohaiiiiiiiiiiii

I hope all my readers had Fabulous Fridays. Alas my day wasn't so completely fabulous. The weather was not on my side at all today. It was either pouring rain or about to be pouring rain throughout the entire day. On the bright side, I learned that I do very well when driving during torrential downpours. All I had to do was turn up my music all pay attention to what I could see of the road and I was fine. On the downside I was in an insane amount of pain today. Fanny decided to be a raging bitch today. Not only was she hurting my hip, but the tumor itself was causing pain, AND she was sending shooting pains up my spine. To all my readers who have bad sciatica, I applaud you cause that must suck beyond all reason. My ribs were also being stupid and causing pain when I was breathing, not cool.

Of course, this was all occurring while I was at work. There were times when the pain made me very foggy and made it difficult to concentrate but I had to suck it up. I played up-tempo music, swiveled back and fourth in my chair, and noshed on M&Ms and chewing gum. While it wasn't 100% successful, I got through the day and I don't think anyone noticed that I was off. That's good I guess. Once I got home I took some meds and rested with the heat pack, and I got back to my normal pain level after a couple of hours.

My "I am NOT amused" face

Now I am resting comfortably with Helen and my heat pack, bracing for tomorrow. Tomorrow's weather is supposed to be similar to today's, thus I need to prepare. For the ribs I use shapewear meant for making your tummy look flat. It's rather tight so it holds my ribs and their tumors in place. For Fanny I'm gonna try one of those thermacare back wraps. Maybe that will help... *tumors crossed*

Crippie's Tippie - For those of you with MHE, sometimes compression helps when your tumors are catching, just make sure it's not too tight!

Can I Pass Out Now?

Greetings!

I hope y'all had a fabulous weekend. Mine was purdy damn awesome. There was a HUGE party at my house to celebrate my mom and grandma's birthdays. It was fabulous. I was social creature and hung out with a crap ton of relatives and family friends, not to mention the noms were delicious. Instead of a cake we ordered cupcakes and cake pops from a local bakery. Crippie has to give a shout out to the Eat Sweet bakery, they did an incredible job AND they ship cookies across the country!

I had such a blast this weekend. Some people my age wouldn't enjoy hanging out with a massive amount of people over the age of 60, but I rather enjoy it. Mainly because we can have conversations like this...

Elderly Person - Oh man, my hip has been killing me recently
Crippie - ME TOO!!!!!

Another Elderly Person - I can get up out of these damn chairs
Crippie - DUDE, ME TOO!!!!

Yet Another Elderly Person - It's so humid, I can hardly move
Crippie - YOU'RE PREACHIN' TO THE CHOIR SISTA

I can relate very well to elderly people, y'all get the idea.

Saturday was so damn awesome that I don't really care how much pain I was in today. Today's weather sucked beyond all reason. If it wasn't insanely humid it was pouring. Yeah, I definitely had difficulty moving today. Meh, still totally worth it.

Now that everything is settling down in my house I can finally rest. I've been super tired for the past week. It's probs gonna take me a few days to recover from the parties. While recovering from parties and being social can be rather rough at times, the positives of the few awesome hours completely make up for it.

Crippie's Tippie - Sometimes you need to just go and put yourself out there, regardless of how much it will hurt in the morning.

Limping In The Rain

I should do Broadway puns more often...

The Aggie Update- Aggie is pissed at us. Emotionally she's in a sad place. People keep putting drops in her eyes that burn, people keep giving her medicine that she does care for anymore and probs causes minor tummy issues, AND to top it off... she's in heat... so she's just pissy in general. Aggie's always been a very emotional little pig. On the bright side her eye looks sooooooooooooooooo much better. It's almost back to normal. She has a follow up vet appointment on Friday, let's keep our fingers crossed for good news. Here's a few pictures of the patient so y'all can see her cute lil' face...

Woe is meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee 

Her eye is looking good though, it's clear and mostly black. 

Aggie sleeping in a dramatic pose

Ain't she just the cutest damn thing ever? Anyways... yesterday was a rather weird day for me. I had a long day at work, but it a productive day. I wasn't achy or anything. Nothing felt out of the ordinary. Then while I was driving home, maybe a minute or two before arriving to my house, my damn ribs catch. For those of you who have hurt your ribs in some form or another know how much rib injuries hurt. So there I am driving, with the left side of my torso BURNING. I held my side with one hand, focused on the road, and got home. Once I got home I collapsed on the couch with a heat pack. While I was there Fanny decided to be all like "YOU'RE GONNA REMOVE ME... F$#% YOU... I'M GONNA IRRITATE YOUR ENTIRE LEG!". It's pretty safe to say that I was really uncomfortable. About five minutes later it began to pour. Once it started raining I got reallllllllyyyyy achy and stiff, to the point where I was not able to get off the damn couch. So, I stayed on the couch until it stopped raining. Eventually I migrated to my room and stayed with my glorious heat pack, NPH. While the pain wasn't as bad as it was earlier... there were a few rough patches throughout the night.

The whole incident was rather odd. Usually I feel achy for a day or so before rain. This whole thing was so sudden. My pain scale went from a 2 to a 8 within 15 minutes. The rain was also weird too, it went from "very light drizzle" to "torrential downpour" within minutes. I dunno... maybe that had something to do with it.

Lucky for me, this episode was short lived. My rib stopped hurting within an hour or so, soooo much better than when my rib caught for two and a half weeks. It's day's like yesterday that remind me how much I hate Fanny. I cannot wait for September 18. I'm hoping this is disdain for her will make me less nervous when surgery time comes. I've never hated a tumor as much as I hate Fanny, and I've had some real asshole tumors. Maybe I'll get through this surgery without getting sick beforehand like I usually do. I realllllyyyyyyyyyyyyyy hope that I can psych myself into not getting sick come surgery day.

Before Crippie heads to bed I have one more picture to share with you. Maggie wants you all to know that it's hard being her. Whenever Aggie gets pissy she takes out her frustrations on Maggie. Poor Maggie keeps getting nipped in the butt.

MAGGIE BUTT!!!!

Crippie's Tippie - If you're ever driving while you get really bad pain episode, pull over if it's reallllyyyyyy bad and you can't focus on the road. If you can focus, slow down a little and put all your attention on the road. Concentrate only on driving. Think about nothing else. It distracts you from the pain.

Back To Business

Ohai!

Crippie hopes everyone has been enjoying their week thus far. Mine has been getting increasingly better. Mama Pig is slowly but surely continuing to recover. Crippie is still flushing her out every night but it's becoming so much easier. Since Crippie doesn't have work tomorrow I'll probably be flushing Mama several times tomorrow, hopefully that will get the remaining crap out. 

Since Mama Pig has been feeling better all the piggies have really enjoyed mooching off her illness. She needs extra food and it is impossible to just feed one piggie ;). Also Nellie and Aggie really love Pedialyte and water mixed together, so they get a little bit of "special juice" when Mama gets it. 

Now the Mama Pig seems to be stabilizing Crippie can start blogging about things other than guinea pigs... shocking! In cripple news, I'm still waiting for approval for my MRI. We're gonna call tomorrow and be all like "Ohai, I can haz approval? kthnxbai". Crippie really wants to get the ball rolling with this thing. I want to get this damn MRI done, find out whats going on, and treat it. Crippie feels like this Fanny matter is holding me back. Crippie isn't afraid of this pending MRI at all... I'm not claustrophobic (I rather enjoy small spaces) and I'm not prone to headaches. I'm not afraid of having Fanny removed if need be. At this point, Crippie just wants to nip this thing in the butt (pun intended)

The rain has also been kicking Crippie's ass and furthering her desire to get this damn MRI done. I really don't enjoy saying "the rain is making my arthritis and sciatica act up", definitely doesn't sound like something your average 23 year old would say. Oh well, Crippie is coping with the weather as best as she can. I have a bottle of extra strength tylenol at work and I've been popping several of those bad boys a day. Crippie is also having a flare up in her right hand and index finger. Crippie tries to stretch out her fingers and muscles when this happens, it makes my hand look like a claw but it's oddly comfy. Currently my hand is wrapped up in an ace bandage, again feels surprisingly comfy. 

So that's about it folks. Mama Pig is getting better and I hate changes with barometric pressure. I eagerly await to blog about things other than sick piggies, like the Tony nominations for example! 

Crippie's Tippie - Be cautious if you plan on popping tylenol like candy. Like most pain meds it can do damage to your tummy if you have massive amounts of it. I try not to go over 2,500mg a day, but that's just Crippie.

All Hail The Magic Toothbrush

Greetings,


 I hope everyone enjoyed their May 4th. Before I begin my post Crippie wanted to pay tribute to the 4 students killed in the Kent State Massacre 42 years ago. May we never forget Jeffrey, Allison, William, and Sandra and may we never let it happen again.

Crippie's day was certainly interesting to say the least. The weather is changing again and that caused my hip to hurt a lot. I tried to sleep it off once I got home from work, it kinda helped. Crippie spent most of the night chilling cause I was achy. Pretty much a normal "its gon rain" night. Well, at least I thought it was.

I was getting ready for bed, just relaxing when all of the sudden I hear one of the guinea pigs crying. Their cries are very loud and you can tell that something is wrong when you hear it. At first Crippie thought it was Maggie, because she get can a little screamy when she's in heat. I went to check it out and much to my horror it was Mama Pig. Frida and Nellie were sleeping far away from her so they weren't harming her or anything. She was just sitting there crying. This is reaaaaaaaallllllllyyyyyyyyyy bad. It means that it is hurting her to pee and poop.

Crippie had to spring into doctor mode and fix Mama. First I gave her some pedialyte and then I observed her for a few minutes. She tried to wee and poop but she started screaming again. Next step was to get her to empty her bladder. Crippie did this by massaging her tummy with an electric toothbrush. I covered the toothbrush with a ziploc bag for sanitary reasons and I held part of the toothbrush to ease the amount of vibration she would feel. After about 2 minutes of massaging her tummy (with a focus on the bladder) she started defecating. Boy howdy did she ever need to poop. How do I phrase this lightly? Mama Pig probs got a little constipated by the meds. The pedialyte and toothbrush fixed the hard poop problem and once the poop was able to come out maaasssssssiiiiiivvvvveeeeee amounts of crap came out. Sorry if this isn't the most pleasant topic, but this kinda stuff comes with territory of pig ownership. After Mama passed the massive amount of crap she still needed to wee (to prove there is no stone blocking the path). All I can say is all hail the magic toothbrush. After a few more bladder massages she started weeing. Crippie continued the massages for two hours, periodically giving her water or pedialyte. Eventually massive amounts of wee and crap were freed from Mama's tummy. After that ordeal she was pooped (pun intended) so I put her back in the cage. Before I put her back I gave her some pain medicine. Metacam is also an NSAID so it should also help with any inflammation. Poor Mama Pig, as soon as she got into the cage she got comfy and fell asleep.

So yeah, Mama Pig is definitely not out of the woods. I'm gonna keep a super close eye on her for the next few days. If the medicine is making her constipated we'll just have to constantly keep her hydrated and keep giving her pedialyte. I don't think she'll object to that ;)

Crippie's Tippie - Electric toothbrushes can help save piggie's lives... good to know