Have A Nice Trip!

Howdy Y'all

HOLY CRAP IT'S COLD OUT! I hope all of my readers are staying nice and toasty in the comfort of their homes. It's freaking freezing by me but I've been doing my best to keep warm. God I love electric heat pads.

I'm just dropping by to let y'all know that I'm going on a quick trip down south this week. Great week to go on vacation... yeah, yeah I know -_-. Believe it or not this will not stop me from posting. I mean, yes, technically it will because the place I'm going to doesn't have WiFi and thus cannot post. But I'm queuing some posts up now, so it's all good. Writing posts for the future is so weird, cause it's for... ya know... the future.

To make up for a ridiculously short post, here's some pics of Helen being adorable and hating the cold.

In case you are wondering, the clothes are partly for her warmth, partly for our enjoyment ;)

Crippie's Tippie - I might not be able to blog this week, but I should be able to use Twitter & Instagram.  If you miss me THAT much follow me @icanhasdesign for twitter and @scarwars10 for Instagram. 

Crippie Acts Completely Out of Character

Ohai Everyone!

I hope everyone had a marvelous Monday. Mine was alright, full of the usual pain and discomfort that January and February have brought me, but otherwise no complaints. I do have a fun story to tell y'all though... a refreshing break from me talking about being in constant pain for the past few months.

Well, as you all know the past two months have kinda sucked... a lot. So what did Crippie do about it? Believe it or not I spent Thursday night getting fairly drunk with my coworkers. You see, I was at a party for all the employees at my office (YAY social life points), and I was allowed 2 free drinks, whatever my little heart desired. Normally I do not drink alcohol, partly because it doesn't mix well with my rather strong narcotics, and partly because I just don't enjoy the taste of it. Believe it or not I actually decided to have a drink, not just any drink... a relatively strong one at that. Usually when I drink I dilute the crap outta whatever I'm having, and get a buzz at most. For some off reason I thought a chocolate martini sounded tasty. What can I say, the thought of chocolate milk with lots of alcohol in it intrigued me... plus, it was free. How can I say no to free alcoholic chocolate milk?!?!? So, I consumed an entire chocolate martini in a relatively short span of time AND on an empty stomach. Yup, I'm brilliant. At least I had water too so I was hydrated. I was pleasantly surprised at how I actually found the alcoholic chocolate milk to be tasty. I guess there was enough chocolate syrup and liquor to drown out the nail polish remover taste. Well, about a quarter way through the beverage I either stopped hurting or stopped caring about the constant discomfort. I had a great time being social and being slightly inebriated (YAY social life points), not to mention I had the opportunity to consume some tasty noms. Needless to say, Thursday was a much needed break in what has been a really crappy  few months, I got to be a VERY social creature, AND I acted completely out of character.

CHOCOLATE BOOZE!!!! 

Slightly inebriated Crippie  

Freakin' Awesome Desserts 

And on a completely unrelated topic, since some of y'all were curious about how I did my nails with those polka dots... I used a dotting tool to draw the polka dots on. Funness. Toothpicks and old ball-point pens also suffice. I used painter's tape for the design below if you're wondering. If you're also wondering why on earth I would spend time doing stuff like that... it helps me concentrate on something other than the pain. You really need to focus if you don't wanna screw up your manicure ;)

Tape Mani while showing off my dotting tool. It doesn't make sense, but whatever

And on ANOTHER unrelated note, to make up for my still irregular posts... here's some sleeping animals.

SLEEPY FRIDA!  

Helen is all snuggled up and adorable

Crippie's Tippie - If you're like me and take heavy duty narcotics, drink in extreme moderation and make sure you sober up before you take your meds. NEVER MIX ALCOHOL WITH PAIN KILLERS. EVER. 

Thank God February Is A Short Month

Ohai!

WOW! I suck! I'm SO sorry about my lack of posts. All I can say is that the weather has been royally kicking my ass. How much so? Well, I was able to post after having a damn surgery, but not while it's raining, or when the weather is changing... which has pretty much been every freaking day. >.<

I also realized that I missed this blog's 2 year "blogversary" thing! Can't believe I forgot that. I swear this weather is making my whole system go outta whack. Either that or I was just too uncomfortable to remember/care.

Moving on, I hope all of my crippled comrades had dandy valentine's days. I ate copious amounts of chocolate with peanut butter and watched "As Told By Ginger" on YouTube (pro-tip... do NOT watch the very last season of As Told By Ginger, it will destroy your childhood). These days when I'm not distracting myself with 90's cartoons I'm either a) watching "The Walking Dead" (GOVERNOR Y U KILL AXEL) b) painting my nails and reorganizing my collection c) browsing reddit d) playing with the animals. So yeah... not much doin' here.

To make up for my total lack of posts... here's some pics!

I turned Angel into a walker

Valentine's mani

Random dot mani

Helen keeping me company

I've actually got a busy day ahead of me tomorrow, I should get some sleep. I'll try to post regularly again. I SWEAR! 

Crippie's Tippie - Heat packs are freaking awesome when the weather is anything but 

Seriously, I Want Spring

Howdy Y'all

Yup, the weather still sucks. A lot. A whole lot. I'm still in a fair amount of pain and it looks like it is going to snow some more on Wednesday and again on Saturday. It's pretty safe to say that I have a hate/hate relationship with the weather right now. Oh, if any of you guys were wondering, this is how much snow Nemo left us (also, what kind of name is Nemo... storms should not be named after crippled fish)

On the bright side, I've had oodles of distractions to somewhat take my mind off the pain. This weekend it was the "The Walking Dead" Marathon on Saturday followed by the season premiere on Sunday. Needless to say I was pretty damn happy about that. So happy that I decided to make another playlist for y'all... enjoy!

As always my animals somehow manage to lift my spirits. Yesterday I caught Mama Pig being greedy.

Head under one bed, butt on another. My word Mama Pig! Save one bed for your babies... or don't...

And even though I no longer have a massive bag of jerky in my room, Angel still thinks that she'll get some if she smiles enough (I never gave her any btw). 

Well, I reckon that's it for tonight, I've got a long day ahead of me tomorrow. I hope y'all have an awesome, pain-free day :D

Crippie's Tippie - Too crippled to shovel snow? Try to blackmail befriend some normals so they'll do it for you! 

I Can Haz Spring? Kthnxbai

Howdy Y'all! 

Sorry I haven't been posting this week. Ya see, had I posted everyday it would have sounded something like this...

"Hey guys,

Hope y'all are having an awesome day. Crippie is certainly trying to have an awesome day but the weather is making that really freaking difficult. All of the pressure changes and precipitation have made for a very pain filled day. My (Insert either: ribs, hand, wrist, arm, leg, hip or back depending on the day) was killing me today. As always I curled up with my BFF Glenn the heat pack as soon as I got home."

I'm used to being slightly incapacitated by the occasional weather shift, but these constant weather changes are killing me. I swear I don't remember the last time it was this bad. Weeks of constant barometric pressure changes... eff you mother nature... eff you. 

Presently my hip is being a bitch, yesterday it was my ribs, the day before my wrist. I'm trying to predict what will hurt me tomorrow since I'm already feeling the shifts for Friday's "blizzard". I've got my wrist brace and my rib brace ready to go, let's hope I don't need 'em. On the bright side, I don't think I have to work on Friday, so I can spend the day at home with Glenn the heat pack. 

These days I've honestly been too damn uncomfortable to do much of anything. All of my energy spoons are spent tolerating pain at work. Blaaaaah, all I can say is that the damn groundhog had better be freakin' right about an early Spring, cause I've had enough of winter. 

To make up for this mildly depressing post... here's some talking animals. I was almost crying from laughter when I saw this... who am I kidding... I was crying from laughter when I saw this! 

Crippie's Tippie - When in doubt, talking animals will always make you feel better

Lungs Are Flying Everywhere!

Yo!

Holy crap, I cannot believe that this blog has over 50,000 views!!! YOU GUYS ARE THE MOST AWESOME PEOPLE IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD!!!

Also, holy crap it's February. When the hell did that happen?

Well, this week has been another pain filled week for Crippie. I've been popping tylenols like a mad woman. Note to self... buy big ass thing of tylenol. 2,000mg of tylenol holds me over during the day when I can't take all my super fun drugs, I take my super fun drugs as soon as I get home.

I'm still relying on distractions to keep me comfortable. Mainly I've been listening to music to help shift my focus. Here's a little playlist of some of the stuff I've been listening too. I've kinda been on an old-timey music kick. Hope y'all enjoy



My other distraction has been the most annoying, frustrating, hilarious and addictive video game that can be found online. It's called... brace yourselves... SURGEON SIMULATOR 2013. Yup, you have to play surgeon and attempt to perform open-heart surgery. The game is so bizarre and ridiculous that it becomes awesome. I suck at video games in general, so it's pretty entertaining to watch me try to play this. One time I whacked the guys ribcage off with a hammer and threw his lungs on the floor. I've accepted the fact that I will never win this game, but I'm enjoying transferring my pain to the dude on the operating table. I'm trying to discover news ways of throwing this guy's lungs around. The game is free and can be found HERE. If you don't wanna play the game cause you suck at video games as much as I do, HERE is a video of someone else playing it.

As always, my animals have been providing the best distraction EVARRRRRR. Angel has been especially distracting recently. She's on a medication that is making her very perky. And I have a bag of beef jerky in my room. The result is this...

This keeps happening... every ten minutes. It's amusing as hell. Although it's really freaking creepy when she does it at 2am.

Oh, I created an account on yet another social media site, Vine. It's like instagram but with videos. So if you wanna see videos like THIS, follow me. I'm @icanhasdesign. Also, if you wanna follow me on instagram my username is scarwars10 :)

The weather is looking questionable for the next week, so it'll probably be another rough week pain wise. Any recommend any good distractions for me? Any awesome shows on netflix? Any stupid videos on YouTube? Any online games worth trying (Yes, I've tried Slender... I didn't find it scary)? I'm open to any suggestions :D

Crippie's Tippie - Beef Jerky may be a delicious treat for humans, but it is the doggie version of meth... use jerky with caution

Blllaaaarrrrrggggghhhhhhhh

Bleeeeehhhhhhhhhhh

Ello everyone, I hope y'all are enjoying your weeks thus far. Mine's been pretty good except for one thing... THIS FREAKING WEATHER! The snow, the ice, the rain, the barometric pressure changes... my tumor-riddled body pretty much hates me now. I've been hanging out with my best buddies Glenn the Heat Pack and other awesome friend PAIN KILLERS. They've been making everything tolerable, but I'm pretty uncomfortable right now. The past few days have basically been like this for me...

Yuuuuupppppp, one of those weeks. I've been trying to distract myself from all the discomfort. Wanna see what I've been up to? Well, when I'm not at work I am either...

Playing with animals, cause they're cute and all that jazz. Maggie wants you all to know that she is adorable. Helen wanted to tell you all something, but she forgot what it was and promptly fell asleep.

I painted my nails an obscene number of times. This one here was 7 coats of polish and I removed it the next day. I also reorganized my nail polish container. During this process I might have sorta admitted to being addicted to nail polish, meh... oh well ;)

Lastly, I've been taking stupid/borderline horrifying pictures of myself with the "Walking Dead: Dead Yourself App". Let's face it, if there's one thing to truly brighten my spirits, it's the fact that "The Walking Dead" returns in less than two weeks! W0000t. I also recently noticed that on top me naming my heat pack Glenn, my guinea pig is named Maggie, and my car is named Penny... I've been naming things after Walking Dead characters even before the show aired! I also have relatives named Carl and Andrea.... GASP... I NEED TO FIND MORE THINGS TO NAME AFTER TWD CHARACTERS! I think I might have to start calling Helen T-Dog from now on 0.0 

And on a completely unrelated note, I found a tube of scar treatment lotion in my bathroom, so I'm trying it out to see if it does anything. 

Well, that's it for tonight folks. I hope the weather isn't kicking y'alls asses too.

Crippie's Tippie - Random, but if you're using glitter nail polish, use Elmer's Glue as a basecoat, that way it will all peel off

Damn Mother Nature, You Crazy

Yo! 

I hope everyone is staying WARM this week. It's insanely cold by me and I'm really not ok with it. I don't know if it's possible or not but it feels like the staples in my knee and ankle contract whenever it gets stupidly cold... like now. Right now my best friends are Glenn the heat pack at home and Daniel Radcliffe the heat pack at work. Currently I'd say that I have heat pack on for about 75% of the day. It sounds rather extreme, but it's keeping my joints from getting too painful. Also it keeps me toasty.

Today was a good day though. Mainly because I didn't leave my house. I had the day off from work so I stayed home, had hot chocolate, cuddled up with Glenn, and that's about it. 

Yup, TRIPLE MARSHMALLOWS... be jealous. Today was also awesome because something very special came in the mail, my disability check. FREAKING FINALLY! I should probably clarify that this was just for the three weeks I couldn't work because due to that whole "recovering from having a giant mass removed from my hip" thing. I'm not getting monthly check or anything like that. Just a one time deal... but still... MASSIVE VICTORY FOR THE CRIPPLE!

Alrighty, I've got to pass out and have dreams about being awesome and winning battles, I'll probably toss in a guinea pig or two here in there just to spice the dream up.

Crippie's Tippie - As far as being rejected for disability goes... third time was the charm for me. I guess you really should fight it until you get approved. (Thanks for telling me to stick it out Mary)

Weather You Like It Or Not

I made a punny! YAY CRIPPIE!

I don't know about you guys, but HOLY CRAP I HATE THIS WEATHER! The pressure's been changing like crazy, thus making me a very achy little cripple. I've been pretty damn useless over the past couple of days. I go to work, and then go home and snuggle with Glenn the heat pack, that's it. We're supposed to have snow and ice tomorrow, and I am definitely feeling it. Yeaaaaahhhh... moving is not fun right now. On the bright side, my pain medications have kicked in so I am temporarily a very happy camper.

Just a friendly reminder to all my cripples out there facing similar wintry conditions... SHARP OBJECTS ARE YOUR FRIEND! Ice picks on your cane... DO IT! Those ice-grip things for your shoes, go for it! The last thing we need is a downed cripple on the ice. Just be careful and be safe y'all.

In other non "OMG I HATE MOTHER NATURE SO MUCH" news... my guinea pigs are evil little bastards. Apparently while I was at work they all got together and formulated a plan. First, they would scream until my grandmother gave them salad. Then when my mother got home they would start screaming for salad again without telling her that they had already eaten. Their diabolical plan worked and they got double salads tonight. Needless to say the food comas were adorable.

 

It's a good thing they're cute, what can I say. They're cute, evil, well-fed creatures ;)

Crippie's Tippie - Seriously, put spikes on ALL THE THINGS!

Sandy Land

Why Hello There!

Hurricane Sandy...  yeaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh

I seriously hope that all you guys stay safe and sound over the next couple of days. I live in New York and will probably be on high alert from Sunday through Tuesday night. Well, this certainly explains why I've been in so much pain over the past few days... I CAN PREDICT HURRICANES... YAY ME!!!

But in all seriousness... this Hurricane has the potential to suuuuucccccccckkkkkkkk. Personally, I live on a road with tall trees very close power lines. Hurricane Irene took out one of our trees last year, and the freakin' Halloween snow storm took out some more of 'em. If y'all could sending "STAY WHERE YOU ARE" vibes to my remaining trees it would be greatly appreciated. 

I figured since we're dealing with the "storm of the century" I'd make a quick little checklist of things cripples, guinea pigs, and dogs need.

CRIPPLES

- YOUR MEDICATIONS

- Disposable heat or ice packs, hand warmers might also benefit 

- If need be, use glow in the dark tape to mark things in your house (canes, doorways, whatever) 

GUINEA PIGS

- Enclosed Hiding places (they need them for warmth)

- Fleece (also warmth)

- Food & Hay for at least a week. If you are running low, Oxbow brand pellets and hay are acceptable

- Disposable Hand warmers (if it gets insanely cold you can wrap one in a sock and put it in their cage)

- If possible, move pigs away from windows, etc

- Bedding, if you use fleece you might wanna pick up some extra because you might not be able to wash it. If you use carefresh I recommend Kaytee Clean and Cozy. 

DOGS

- Food 

- Coats (if necessary)

- Puppy pads, newspapers, extra paper towels, baggies, garbage bags... anything you might need in the event that it is too dangerous to walk your dog. 

There ya go, I like how most of my tips are for guinea pigs... lol. I really hope that nothing terrible happens to in this storm and that each and every one of my readers makes it through safely. I'm sending "PLEASE DON'T LET ANYTHING BAD HAPPEN" vibes to y'all.

Crippie's Tippie - Don't do anything stupid that might jeopardize your life over the next few days

Achy Breaky Hips

Oh Hello

I hope y'all are having a lovely week thus far. I didn't have work today, which was good because I was so damn achy today I could hardly move. Basically I stayed in bed with my heat pack all day. Even though Fanny is gone I still have tumors inside my hip sockets... and those also hurt like a mofo. I'm starting to feel better now, but I'm kinda peeved that my day was kinda consumed with pain. Freakin' weather. Oh well, at least the next few days look better.

Anyways, as promised to make up for yesterday's sucky post. Here's some pictures of Helen's Halloween costume. Just a quick pre-face... Helen actually enjoys wearing clothes, plus she gets cold very easily so they do serve some function. Last year she was a unicorn complete with Neil Patrick Harris riding her (Harold & Kumar joke). This year we opted for something a little... different. Any last guesses people?

If you guessed a pink hippo in a tutu... CONGRATULATIONS! You win a cookie. Clearly Helen is super excited about Halloween. I put the costume on her to take the pictures... and she fell asleep. Me thinks it's because it's a really snuggly fabric, guess she considers it to be a blankie. One of these days I'll try to get some photos of Helen the hippo when she's conscious.

If anyone is wondering, Helen is the only animal that has Halloween costumes. Angel does not like clothes nor do want to risk our lives to attempt to put anything on her. The pigs have their guinea bee costume, but I can only keep it on 'em for a few minutes tops. Apart from their general hatred of the costume, they'd probably pee on it if I left it on 'em for more than five minutes. And I just don't feel like washing pee out of a bee costume. In the end Helen enjoys clothes, so Helen wears clothes.

I should totally do a post one day dedicated to Helen's fashions, would anyone like that?

Crippie's Tippie - If your animal hates costumes, don't force 'em to wear one. 

Tumor, With Hate

Ohaiiiiiiiiiiii

I hope all my readers had Fabulous Fridays. Alas my day wasn't so completely fabulous. The weather was not on my side at all today. It was either pouring rain or about to be pouring rain throughout the entire day. On the bright side, I learned that I do very well when driving during torrential downpours. All I had to do was turn up my music all pay attention to what I could see of the road and I was fine. On the downside I was in an insane amount of pain today. Fanny decided to be a raging bitch today. Not only was she hurting my hip, but the tumor itself was causing pain, AND she was sending shooting pains up my spine. To all my readers who have bad sciatica, I applaud you cause that must suck beyond all reason. My ribs were also being stupid and causing pain when I was breathing, not cool.

Of course, this was all occurring while I was at work. There were times when the pain made me very foggy and made it difficult to concentrate but I had to suck it up. I played up-tempo music, swiveled back and fourth in my chair, and noshed on M&Ms and chewing gum. While it wasn't 100% successful, I got through the day and I don't think anyone noticed that I was off. That's good I guess. Once I got home I took some meds and rested with the heat pack, and I got back to my normal pain level after a couple of hours.

My "I am NOT amused" face

Now I am resting comfortably with Helen and my heat pack, bracing for tomorrow. Tomorrow's weather is supposed to be similar to today's, thus I need to prepare. For the ribs I use shapewear meant for making your tummy look flat. It's rather tight so it holds my ribs and their tumors in place. For Fanny I'm gonna try one of those thermacare back wraps. Maybe that will help... *tumors crossed*

Crippie's Tippie - For those of you with MHE, sometimes compression helps when your tumors are catching, just make sure it's not too tight!

It's Getting Hot In Here...

Howdy!

Holy moly it's really freakin' hot. Crippie hopes that all of my lovely readers are keeping cool this weekend. I usually don't mind the heat, but it's become a bit of nuisance since I've been using heat packs. It's like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place... without the heat pack I'm achy and cool, with the heat pack I'm in less pain but overheating. *Sigh* I've decided that the overheating problem was easier to treat... so I just drink cold beverages and things of that nature to compensate. 

This weather has not been agreeing with the tumors either, Fanny in particular. She's been making my hip ache like a mofo. Have you ever had something ache to a point where it becomes really painful? That's Fanny. My hip almost constantly has a dull aching feeling. I eagerly await to find out when this bastard will be removed. 

Apart from this lovely weather, Crippie's been having a good weekend thus far. I was actually a social creature today. A friend came over for a pizza and Daria marathon. Daria is one of my all time favorite TV shows, people compare me to the main character all the time :D. So Crippie had a lovely time with that. Tomorrow (today, whatever) Crippie is going to see another show! Gotta love theatre season! I'm going to see Summerstar Theatre's production of  "A Grand Night For Singing". Crippie loves living in an area with such wonderful community theatre companies. All of my local readers should totally go see this show, I hear it's wonderful. And all of my non-local readers should support their local community theatre troups! 

In sleeping news, last night I tried taking online surveys to get tired. Worked pretty well if I do say so myself. They're boring as hell and you can earn a few extra bucks. It's like being paid to fall asleep! I was going to do likewise tonight, but Crippie got distracted with pictures of cats. I should be able to fall asleep after I finish posting this.

Before I leave y'all for the night, my guinea pigs have a quick piggie tippie for beating the heat... WATERMELON. My piggies love watermelon more than life itself and devour it like it's laced with crack or something. It's also great for hot weather because it's cold and refreshing. Here's a little video to prove my point. (I don't give my pigs this much watermelon, they get tiny pieces)

Crippie's Tippie - SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL THEATRES!!!! 

Still Waiting For It.............................

Greetings!

The Mama Pig Update - The patient has stabilized! Mama Pig no longer needs to be monitored every night or every other night. She will now be monitored on a "oohhh there's something good on TV that Mama Pig will enjoy basis". In other words, she does not need to be monitored anymore. We'll just keep ours eyes on her when we take her out for snuggles. Mama Pig's last monitoring was Saturday. She and I watched my other favorite reality show other than "16 and Pregnant/Teen Mom" which is "Oddities". Mama Pig was enthralled with show, not to mention some special blueberry treats. Mama Pig pooped up a storm all within a relatively short amount of time! Mama Pig has gotten her groove back! YAY MAMA PIG!

I'm glad that Mama Pig and I have similar tastes in reality TV, because most of the people in my house don't enjoy these shows as much I do. BTW, if any of you guys have the Science Channel and a strong stomach, Crippie totally recommends "Oddities" its about an antique shop in NYC that sells freaky, creepy stuff. Crippie enjoys it because there is no other show on TV where you hear things like "I'm looking for a mummified head please" or "Actually this is a necklace made out of gallstones". It's just bizarre and I love it. Crippie told her mom that when Fanny is removed I want to keep it, polish it, and turn it into a necklace. The look on her face was priceless!

Speaking of Fanny... still waiting for my results, my doctor should get the images tomorrow. Let's keep our fingers crossed for "good enough" news. Crippie realllyyyyyy wants to know what her doctor thinks cause Fanny is being a literal pain in the ass. All the recent weather changes have cause a bit of a Fanny flare up. It now hurts whenever I move my hip to get up, sit down, etc. It's the weirdest thing, it's like I can feel Fanny rubbing against something (probs a muscle)... not a comfortable feeling at all.

Crippie thinks that her dogs have sensed that I've been in a lot of pain because they keep wanting to hang out with me. Angel is usually a very private dog, but all of the sudden she wants chill in my room with me. She's even been sleeping in my room. Angel has her own (very comfy) bed in my parent's room, yet, she's been choosing to sleep on my carpet. And Helen usually sleeps on her (very comfy) bed in my sister's room. For the past couple of nights she's been getting restless, wandering the halls at night, and crying until she is placed in my bed for a sleepover. Once here, she finds "her" throw pillow and sleeps on my bed. Helen was even browsing reddit with me ;) It's good to know that these little furballs are looking out for Crippie.

Completely random, but Crippie has discovered that she has a hidden talent. Apparently I can bark like a dog... really well. Crippie found out this gem of while I had Helen out in the yard, I was playing with her by barking like a dog. All of the sudden I hear all of my neighbor's dog's barking at me! Reckon my dog bark is pretty convincing :D I tried my "amazing" dog bark with Angel, she gave me a look that probably meant "Are you on drugs or something?" Crippie now feels the need to prove to Angel that my dog bark is convincing. 

Crippie's Tippie - Moist heat is God's gift to cripples

Rice Crippies

Ohai,

The Mama Pig Update - We are continuing with the two salads treatment today because of the very positive results of last night. Crippie cannot even begin to describe the looks of joy on their faces when they see their salads. Again, the pigs were very content and had adorable food comas... I swear some of them were smiling! Guinea pigs have teeny tiny bladders, so normally when you have them out for a prolonged period of time they will wee and poop on you. Mama Pig hasn't been doing that for the past couple of weeks. Tonight Crippie wanted to see how well Mama Pig's bladder worked without any massages or flushings of any kind. So, Crippie took a dog bed, put one of those waterproof covers on it, put Mama Pig in it, and just let her be. Mama Pig and I watched one of Crippie's favorite shows "16 and Pregnant" (DON'T JUDGE MEEEEEE) for a good two hours. I do believe Mama Pig is a middle aged woman trapped in a guinea pig's body... she really enjoyed it! She would watch the screen, purr when she heard people fighting, and gazed with wonder at the pretty colors. Thankfully Mama Pig was able to take massive wees and poops ALL BY HERSELF!!! YAY MAMA PIG!!! Crippie is finally starting to feel optimistic about her prognosis. She's made it past the two week point (when we lost Emma) and she is able to pee and poop all by herself!!! Crippie is gonna keep her with the double salads for a few more days until her tummy fully gets back into the swing of things.

Moving on, Crippie was planning on visiting the boys today but I just wasn't feeling up to it. That and I was called in to work early so I didn't have time. I'll go see them on Thursday. But yeah, Crippie had a rough day pain wise. It's all rainy and muggy and boy howdy did I feel it. All my joints felt achy and damn near all of them were popping, snapping, and crackling. I literally sounded like rice crispies. While sounding like a cereal is mildly entertaining I was realllllllyyyyyyyyy uncomfortable. Crippie had to constantly pop my wrist and shoulder at work and my hips and arms made crackling noises when I moved. I kinda wonder if anyone heard me... Do any of my readers make super fun noises and can people hear you?

So yesterday I mentioned that I have a little reaction time issue. Crippie figured now is as good a time as any to discuss it a little more. Crippie has MHE. MHE is a genetic disorder which causes a lack of heparin sulfate to be produced in my body. This causes the bone tumors. Recent studies also show that this heparin sulfate deficiency causes "Autism like symptoms". While Crippie isn't exactly Autistic, I do display some "Autistic Tendencies". This delayed reaction time is one of them. A split second decision takes about 1 or 2 seconds for me. Doesn't seem like much, but it can add up. For example tonight Crippie was opening a new bottle of soda. I know to open the bottle slowly and I was watching the bottle to see if it was gonna overflow. It really started to fizz and my dad yelled "CLOSE THE SODA" about 1.5 seconds later I closed it. The soda didn't spill luckily but it was obvious that it took me a second to process that information. It's rather annoying at times. If someone is trying to tell me something that requires a lot of thought it takes me a few seconds to figure out what the hell they are talking about. Crippie is trying to train herself to process things faster, and I'm getting slightly better at it. Believe it or not, video games seems to be helping me with this. They require you to pay very close attention to something and you need to time things properly.

Also, Crippie was thinking of making a video of general guinea pig tips. Does anyone have any piggie questions they'd like to hear me answer?

Crippie's Tippie - Don't be dissin' "16 and Pregnant" and video games, they actually serve some purposes. 

Back To Business

Ohai!

Crippie hopes everyone has been enjoying their week thus far. Mine has been getting increasingly better. Mama Pig is slowly but surely continuing to recover. Crippie is still flushing her out every night but it's becoming so much easier. Since Crippie doesn't have work tomorrow I'll probably be flushing Mama several times tomorrow, hopefully that will get the remaining crap out. 

Since Mama Pig has been feeling better all the piggies have really enjoyed mooching off her illness. She needs extra food and it is impossible to just feed one piggie ;). Also Nellie and Aggie really love Pedialyte and water mixed together, so they get a little bit of "special juice" when Mama gets it. 

Now the Mama Pig seems to be stabilizing Crippie can start blogging about things other than guinea pigs... shocking! In cripple news, I'm still waiting for approval for my MRI. We're gonna call tomorrow and be all like "Ohai, I can haz approval? kthnxbai". Crippie really wants to get the ball rolling with this thing. I want to get this damn MRI done, find out whats going on, and treat it. Crippie feels like this Fanny matter is holding me back. Crippie isn't afraid of this pending MRI at all... I'm not claustrophobic (I rather enjoy small spaces) and I'm not prone to headaches. I'm not afraid of having Fanny removed if need be. At this point, Crippie just wants to nip this thing in the butt (pun intended)

The rain has also been kicking Crippie's ass and furthering her desire to get this damn MRI done. I really don't enjoy saying "the rain is making my arthritis and sciatica act up", definitely doesn't sound like something your average 23 year old would say. Oh well, Crippie is coping with the weather as best as she can. I have a bottle of extra strength tylenol at work and I've been popping several of those bad boys a day. Crippie is also having a flare up in her right hand and index finger. Crippie tries to stretch out her fingers and muscles when this happens, it makes my hand look like a claw but it's oddly comfy. Currently my hand is wrapped up in an ace bandage, again feels surprisingly comfy. 

So that's about it folks. Mama Pig is getting better and I hate changes with barometric pressure. I eagerly await to blog about things other than sick piggies, like the Tony nominations for example! 

Crippie's Tippie - Be cautious if you plan on popping tylenol like candy. Like most pain meds it can do damage to your tummy if you have massive amounts of it. I try not to go over 2,500mg a day, but that's just Crippie.

Side Effects

Ohai 

I hope everyone had a good Monday. Crippie's Monday was alright, but the weather has definitely been kicking Crippie's ass. It was around 80 degrees last week and now it's 50 degrees WTF! MOTHER NATURE HATES CRIPPLES! Crippie just wants to grab a bunch of aerosol cans and spray them in air while screaming "EFF YOU MOTHER NATURE!!!".

On the bright side my hip isn't bothering me as much now since I started taking my neurontin. I have been having some minor side effects though... depending on the time I take the neurontin I get very tired and heavy headed. I took my medicine a little later tonight so right now Crippie is very heavy headed, not a pleasant feeling. On the bright side, the tiredness could help regulate my sleep schedule. 

It's weird... only parts of Crippie feel tired. I'm conscious enough to write a blog while chatting with friends (multi-tasking baby!). Yet my eyes feel super heavy and the back of my head feels heavy... I dunno... kinda hard to explain. At least I'm not trippin' or anything, Crippie is perfectly lucid... OMG LOOK AT THE UNICORN, IT'S SO SHINYYYYYYY ;). 

Yeaaaaaaah, I think I'm gonna go to sleep. Sorry for the short post y'all. I'll take some cute pictures of animals and show them to you tomorrow. Let's hope that the side effects of the neurontin wear off after a few days.

Crippie's Tippie - Don't blog when you're really tired, it won't turn out well

Holy Pressure Changes Batman!

Ohai!

Holy crap I'm getting lazy with regular posting, sorry 'bout that. Mother nature has been kicking Crippie's ass for the past few days. There have been some crazy pressure changes around here, so Crippie has been feeling kinda bleh overall. Lots of pain meds, NPH, and extra naps.
On top of the pressure changes it appears Crippie is also developing allergies. Apparently Crippie's lungs are special, if I smell something really strong like cigarette smoke or lots of perfume I choke and start having a coughing fit. BTW, if you're smoking by me and I start obnoxiously coughing I'm not trying to be a dick... I honestly can't breathe. For the past couple of days I've been getting seemingly random periods of feeling tightness in my airway... super fun. Oh well, at least allergy medicine helps.
So what does Crippie do on days when she can't function? Well, recently all of Crippie's co-workers convinced her that she needed to start watching "The Walking Dead", so I've been doing that. I got through the entire first season in three days! One perk of being a cripple, I'm pretty much used to blood and gore so I'm not phased by seeing all these zombies getting their faces smashed in. I've also gotten pretty familiar with how the human body works, so I've been analyzing how all the zombies move and determining their mental capacities! Yes, this how Crippie spends her downtime, determining the mental capacities of zombies.

And here's another photo dump to make up for not posting in several days!

Me and Helen playing around 

Me holding Helen like a baby (kinda shocked that this picture turned out as well as it did)

Frida and Nellie sleeping in their cuddle cups  

Crippie saw a rainbow at work a couple of days ago and was able to snap a pic!

Now Crippie's Sew Able Doll has a piggie too! I received a lovely guinea pig shaped soap from http://cavysavvy.blogspot.com/. It reminds me of Emma <3

Crippie's Tippie - Before getting addicted to a TV show, be sure to find ways of watching all the seasons.

Heat Heat Baby

Yo!

Yes, I just spoofed "Ice Ice Baby" in a title and yes, I am really proud of it. Before I begin with the actual topic I just noticed that this blog has reached over 10,000 views! I really want to thank all you guys from the bottom of my heart, your support means the world to me. The piggies think that most of the views are for them, fame really got to their heads *sighs*.

We're ignoring you mommy! 

Moving on to the topic at hand, I don't know about y'all but the weather near Crippie has been crazy irregular. One day it's snowing and the next day it's 60 degrees. These rapid weather changes are not fun for Crippie. When the weather turns this craptacular it seems that only moist heat can alleviate my weather pain. The trouble is that our microwavable moist packs keep vanishing, and we can't find any good ones at the store. All the moist heat packs we've bought recently have broken in one way or another. Can any of my readers recommend a good moist heat pack?

Crippie's Tippie - If you don't need moist heat you can make a heat pack with a tube sock filled with dried rice or beans :)

Hey Good Lookin'

Whuzzup Y'all

I hope y'all had a lovely Thursday. Crippie's day was pretty uneventful. Mother Nature decided to be stupid and change the weather in the middle of the night. It took Crippie 4 hours to go to sleep. Yeah... today was one of those days where I was too achy to do anything of use. Although I am currently "babysitting" Helen while her mommy is still sick. While Helen loves me she is making clear that I am not her mommy. For a blind dog she gives a really convincing death stare.

Now on to Pig-tures! Maggie says "thank you" to everyone who thinks she's pretty. Tonight we are going to focus on her cage mate Aggie. Aggie is a blonde, black, and white shorthair who is a little over 2 years old. She is known as "Good Lookin' Pig" in my house. Her hobbies include eating her feelings, eating jewelry, and eating plastic. When we first obtained Aggie she showed some signs of piggie depression. The depression went away as soon as she realized that we have comfy beds, toys, and most importantly... FOOD. She is our loudest wheeker, I can hear her when I'm listening to music with headphone on... on the other side of the house.

I SMELL FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD

I might be a fat pig, but I'm a cute fat pig! Look at my lovely markings.

See, I'm freaking adorable!

BEAUTY SHOT! Look at them whiskas!

If you thought Maggie was cute... I probably just blew your cute filled mind!

 Crippie's Tippie- Piggie depression can actually be very serious, weigh your sad piggies daily to make sure they are eating.