Seven Nation Arm-y

Ohai!

Sorry I've been away from the blog, I do have an explanation though. But first... PIGGIES!

The piggies are continuing to settle down and accept their roles in their little "society". Nellie is the boss pig, and Lucy has lovingly turned into her evil little minion. Lucy will gladly do Nellie's bidding. Recently Nellie's bidding mainly consists of nipping Eleanor in the butt. Lucy has been put in time out on multiple occasions for cornering Eleanor and repeatedly biting her. NOBODY BITES BABY IN A CORNER! Eleanor has kinda turned into a lil' recluse, she enjoys her hide-y places. It's funny how the song she's named after fits her personality. Prudence has probably taken the adjustment the easiest, her hobbies include comfortably lounging wherever possible and hanging around Maggie. Maggie has grown to accept the babies and she's actually quite fond of the attention they give her.

Last night I gave Eleanor some extra attention because miss Lucy-fer decided to block her into a corner on two separate occasions in one day! Poor baby needed some snuggles. So she got some extra cuddle time with me watchin' TV. While her experiences with "Wheel of Fortune" didn't amaze her "The Colbert Report" blew her little mind. She stood on my hand and watched the entire episode. She then browsed reddit with me and eventually fell asleep on my arm. Too freaking cute.

God I'm adorable...

Selfie! #NoMakeup ;)

Taking a snooze on mommy

Told ya she was freakin' cute.

Ok... moving on to why I was absent for a lil' over a week. Well...

Yup, BOTH of my arms have been bothering me for the past week or so! GO ME! Bothering is a wee bit of an understatement... MY ARMS FREAKING HURT! I think something either in my right forearm or elbow caught, basically rendering my entire arm useless. I used my handy dandy ace bandage to alleviate the problem for the time being. As for my left... I'm pretty sure something caught in my forearm towards my wrist. Again, ace bandage and hope I can manage it on my own. I wasn't posting because while I technically can type with one hand, I only do that when I HAVE to. Not exactly a comfortable thing to do. Plus, it would take ages to write the damn post! Oh well... fingers crossed that I won't need surgery for these bastards.

At least my nails look awesome :D

The tumors seem to have unhooked themselves for now *knocks on wood*. If it keeps happening then it's off to the orthopedist I go! If it's a problem with the arm I can deal, that would be a fairly simple surgery. If it's in the elbow region... eh... that could be trickier. Anything near a joint is always harder. Even then, it's my right hand... not my dominant one. It would probably be a harder recovery... but I'd live. Meh... in the meantime I'm just gonna act like it won't be a massive problem and hope that my tumors listen.

Crippie's Tippie - If you use ace bandages, try to obtain ones with velcro and or some type of self-adhesive capability. Nothin' worse that getting poked by those stupid pointy metal fasteners. (the ace bandage in the picture is velcro BTW, pretty sure I saved it from a surgery)

No Pain, No Cane

Yo!

I hope all my Jewish readers had a super fun last night of Hanukkah on Saturday. My last night of Hanukkah was rather enjoyable. I got rest, eat lots of food, hang out with the family, and I actually finished reading the first Walking Dead compendium (8 books right there). First book I've read and finished in a good few years... and I finished it in less than a week. YAY ME!

I figured since tomorrow marks the 3 month anniversary of Fanny's removal I'd give y'all an update of how my health is goin'.

Since having Fanny removed my leg feels sooooooo much better. Not only that, I now find it easier to move that leg in general. I still have a limp and my gait is kinda off but my leg doesn't drag anywhere near as bad as it used to. It's been such a vast improvement that I no longer walk with a cane! Granted, I keep it in my trunk in the event of an emergency, but I've been doing really well without it. I've even gone on some long-ish schleps without it, I get a little more tired but I think it's worth it.

My new scar is kinda a bitch sometimes. There are moments when it just stings like a mofo. I'm trying to put lotion on the area to help the skin stretch. It seems to be helping a little. The scar itself is healing pretty well. It's raised off the skin a millimeters, but it's thin so it doesn't look that bad. The scar is currently a fabulous shade of purple, it'll probably lighten over the next few month... but for now it really is a nifty shade of purple.

*Knocks on wood* While I still have my usual frequent aches and pains no new problems have brought to my attention, which is nice. It's nice to have a "normal-ish" existence for little while.

A few days ago I started taking a new medication for an unrelated hormonal imbalance. Luckily I haven't had too many side effects from that yet. Apparently it makes you sick to your stomach at first. There was one night where I wasn't feeling too hot, but otherwise I've been good. Also, I have not been a hormonal wreck, which is nice for everyone else around me ;)

And even though this isn't exactly news, I've got a funny health story from today. So, I was at work and the heat was out due to some electrical issues. One of my co-workers brought in a little space heater to keep us warm. While I was working a co-worker with whom I share a desk with asked if she could turn the space heater off, as it was getting reaaaaalllllyyyyy hot. My reaction? I didn't even know that the space heater was under my desk, right by my legs. Thanks to nerve damage from several surgeries I have issues sensing temperature below my knees. I literally did not feel anything. Not even a breeze! Yup, I'm special. I usually forget about the whole temperature thing, unless I'm stepping into a pool or hot tub or something. It seems like a pleasant temperature then as soon as my knees touch the water I'm like "HOLY CRAP".

So yeah, that's about it. Do any of your disabilities cause any irregularities that amuse your co-workers? Cause mine are pretty impressed with me legs right now :D

Crippie's Tippie - If you're like me and have problems feeling temperatures, be careful. Just because something doesn't feel hot or cold to you that doesn't mean you get a burn and or frostbite. 

GET BACK TO WORK

Hello Friends!

I hope y'all had dandy weekends. It was the last few days of my "vacation" so I got to enjoy it. My sister's birthday was on Friday so we went out for an awesome dinner with some relatives on Sunday. If any of my local readers of heard of a place called "Texas Roadhouse" I HIGHLY recommend it. The steaks were freaking amazing.

Moving on, today was my first day back at work! YAY ME! Now that I'm getting back into the swing of things I'm really starting to realize how much of a raging bitch Fanny was. I was in ZERO pain driving to work. I didn't even know that driving hurt before. But now that Fanny is gone driving felt so... normal. Definitely motivates me to drive more often. I opted not to use my crutch when I got to work. Figured the exercise would be good and walking is easier now. It was great to see all of my coworkers and I had a little "welcome back" sign on my desk. I jumped back into work and I found it slightly easier to focus. My scar would sometimes hurt for a second, but it wasn't bad and it quickly passed. I'm really happy to be back at work, reckon I'm one of those people that actually enjoys working.

Even though I was on a modified schedule today, I was tired when I got home. I pretty much just ate and watched several episodes of "Breaking Amish" on my computer. I don't care if it's probably highly fabricated... it's interesting AND ADDICTIVE!

I guess that's all for tonight folks. Tomorrow marks three weeks since my surgery. Guess I'll have to celebrate by posting cute animal pics.

Crippie's Tippie - Modified schedules are a beautiful thing.

Summary of a Surgery

Yo!

I can't believe it's been almost three weeks since Fanny's removal. My little "vacation" is almost over and I go back to work on Monday. While having a little break from work was nice, I'm rather looking forward to getting back to being a productive member of society again.

Today I figured I'd break down how my surgery and recovery went and how I improved as the days progressed...

Day of Surgery - At first I was going to say something about how little pain I was in, but then I tried to think about that day and I realized I do not remember much about it. I remember getting up to go to the bathroom, being in my car going home, walking up some of my stairs, and thats about it. I guess I was stoned off my ass. Honestly I'm surprised I was able to compose a blog post that day without mentioning unicorns or penguins. 

The Next 72 Hours - Again, I don't exactly remember everything. The incision area was slightly sore, but it wasn't bad at all. I had to be intubated during surgery so my throat was rather sore and I had a cough. Eventually it got to a point where my ribs and stomach muscles hurt from coughing. Overall it wasn't bad though, I was able to sit, stand, and walk with crutches. I was able to paint my nails the day after surgery ;)

The Next Few Days - The one problem with having the anti-nausea patch is that you don't throw up all the crap in your system, so it takes longer for everything to leave your system. There were are a few days when I felt verrrryyyyy heavy-headed. Bread would help for a little while but it would keep coming back. One day I felt even worse than usual, turns out I was running a 100.1 fever. Once the fever burned off I started feeling better (and blogging again). 

One Week - The surgery site was a teensy bit sore, but again nothing terrible. I started walking around my house sans crutches and I would only use one crutch when going out. 

10 Days Post Op - The staples came out and my incision was exposed and allowed to breathe! Me thinks at least a few parts of it are gonna keloid and I might end up with a good ol "Railroad track" scar from the staples themselves, but it's hard to tell.

11 Days Post Op - My incision does not like feeling exposed. It's in an awkward area and it does not like it when I move. I thought I felt it ripping a few times. Some bandaids were places on the scar to keep that skin from moving.

The Rest of that Damn Week - Holy crap my scar hurt. Now I feel closer to Harry Potter. Whenever I got up from either laying down or sitting my scar would hurt like a mofo. Without a doubt this was the most painful part of my surgery. I opted to relax for a few days and let my scar heal. The pain started to decrease with each passing day. 

Now - My scar almost feels back to normal. I hold it sometimes when I get up, but whatever pain I do have from it is very bearable. I can walk without my crutches, and without much of a limp. I'll probably be using my crutch outside of my home for a little while longer. 

All in all I am sooooooooooooooo pleased with how everything turned out. I was bracing for massive mobility restrictions and I lot of pain. Thank goodness it wound up being the total opposite. Even though there were some minor bumps in the recovery road, it was still really freaking easy.

Crippie's Tippie - Sometimes it's good to prepare for the worst. You're prepared in the event that it hits the fan, and you are extraordinarily happy when things go well. It's a win/win.

Staples: That Was Easy

Oh Hello!

It's kinda amazing how well that slogan summarizes my day. My post-op appointment was today and I finally got those damn staples removed!

I'll admit I was slightly nervous about having the staples taken out, purely because I didn't know what to expect. Was I going to be attacked with a scary looking staple remover? How much was it gonna hurt? All those fun feelings. I had a general idea that today was gonna be on the painful side so I took some stronger pain killers before I left for the doctor. It actually wasn't too bad. The only thing that hurt was when my doctor took off the bandage. Picture removing a giant waterproof bandaid from your lower back to you bum... OUCHIES! Once the bandage was removed I got the chance to see my scar before the staples being removed. My first thought was "HOLY MOLY THAT'S A LOT OF STAPLES". 17 staples to be exact, on my ass. Then the doctor approached me with some creepy looking pliers and I braced myself for the worst. I totally watched him remove the staples, because I walk on the wild side. Much to my shock, it totally didn't hurt. Some of 'em stung a teensy bit, but that's nothing. Before I knew it, the 17 staples were gone and I got to take a real gander and my fancy new scar. It kinda looks like an idiot tried to steal my kidney but was off by several inches. The scar itself looked like it was about 5 inches long, vertical with a slight curve. Part of me thinks its gonna heal keloid but it's waaaaaaaaay to early to tell. I'm kinda tempted to get a flower tattoo using the scar as the stem. Admit, it would be awesomeeeeeeee. Just to freak some of y'all out... here's a picture of some of the staples.

I also gave my doctor the picture of Fanny with the google-y eyes. He got a kick out of it. It's a shame that most people don't draw faces on objects removed from their bodies, a cryin' shame.

I'm feelin' pretty good right now, I was FINALLY able to take a shower and FINALLY get rid of that leftover iodine. My scar feels kinda weird though... it's at that point where when it comes into contact with anything it's like "BAD TOUCH... oh wait... it's my skirt... never mind". Now I feel like I'm almost completely recovered. All I need is a few days to let my scar really heal, and I'm good to go!

Tomorrow is gonna be a super exciting day for Crippie, I'm hosting my Scentsy Open House Fundraiser. If any of my local readers wanna stop by, just message me for details! Maybe I'll see some of you guys there!

Crippie's Tippie - Check out my Scentsy Fundraiser y'all! 

BUDDIES!!!

Hi Everybody!

I hope all my readers are having a lovely week, and enjoying the awesome late summer/early fall weather. I haven't done anything special over the past two days but my recovery is progressing swimmingly. I am now able to practically walk unaided! Yup, you heard me right, I can walk a week and a day after hip surgery! I kinda need to hold on to wall or something sometimes, but still, I CAN WALK! The limp is hardly noticeable and it doesn't hurt at all. There is kinda a weird weak feeling in my hip, that's about it.

I cannot even begin to describe how blessed I am that my recovery is going the way it is. I've had my share of nightmarish recoveries. Up all night crying in pain, been there. Not being able to walk for year, done that. This recovery has been so freaking easy. My pain levels were a 3 AT THE WORST. I wasn't completely immobilized. I was able to sit down (I was slightly worried about that). It's been like a summer vacation with a little restricted mobility and staples in your butt!

I have to mention that this surgery has been completelyyyyyyyyy different than any other surgery I've had. Why? Because I've had so much support from my family and friends. I'm completely shocked at how many people wished me well on facebook, here, and in general. Friends told me to feel better (and sent sympathy cards). Some of my coworkers have even texted me get well wishes... how sweet is that! Even some of my relatives that had gotten "used to" my surgeries sent cards, many cards! I remember being 13 or 14, having a surgery and having so very people caring about me and how much that sucked. This is a complete 180 and it feels amazing!

Ain't it something how a little gesture like a card makes a difference? Now imagine what a slightly bigger gesture could do. Ya see the main reason I am hosting my Scentsy Fundraiser is to help kids who are about to walk in my shoes. The MHE Coalition does so many things for people with my disorder, one thing they do is send "Care Packages" to kids having surgery and their siblings. These packages are filled with toys, candy, all kinds of goodies. What a fantastic way to show a kid that's going through a hard time that there are people out there who do care for them, and that everything will get better.

Now, Scentsy makes a product called "Scentsy Buddies" which are stuffed animals filled with a selected scent. These guys are soft, cuddly, adorable, and soothing. They would make for a terrific addition to the care packages. I would absolutely love to buy a bunch of Scentsy Buddies and send them to kids all across the country who are recovering from surgeries. Do you want to help? You can donate a Scentsy Buddy too! How? Just contact me at crippies_corner@yahoo.com or kthayer.scentrep@gmail.com for information. You can even choose which animal and scent you want to send, or you can just leave it up to Crippie!

There's a super amazing special going on now that if you buy one Buddy YOU GET ONE FREE! We can double the amount of children we help for nothing! C'mon comrades WE CAN DO THIS!

Crippie's Tippie - If you know someone that's going through a tough time, let 'em know that you care. It means a helluva lot.

Such A Card!

Ohaiiiiiiiii

Glad to see that you guys enjoyed Fanny's picture as much as I did. As soon as I saw it I thought "LOL MY TUMOR LOOKS LIKE AN ANIMAL".

I'm definitely starting to feel better. I was able to move around a little easier, which is good because I was starting to get a little stir crazy just being in my room for the past few days. Tomorrow I'm going to run some errands with my mom, I cannot even begin to tell you guys how much I am looking forward to getting dressed and getting the hell out of the house. I also started eating normal things today. My tummy did not like that... but that was probably a blessing in disguise if you catch my drift.

On a sad note, my heat pack NPH died today. It just stopped working all of the sudden, I don't know what happened! I wanted to memorialize it on twitter but I had a feeling #RIPNPH wouldn't go over well. Definitely do not want to be responsible for killing Neil Patrick Harris via twitter! Maybe I'll obtain a new one tomorrow.

Today I wanted to share with y'all one of my totally awesome get well cards! This one comes from my friend who is so generously hosting a Scentsy Fundraiser at my house on Saturday! Gotta love friends with a twisted sense of humor :D

             

Ain't that a purdy card? This card is awesome for several reasons. First, it's really pretty and I appreciate the good design. Second, RIP Fanny... claaasssssiiiiiiccccc. Third, IT SMELLS LIKE FABRIC SOFTENER! It's a totally unique "Sincerely Scent" card from Scentsy! From a graphic designer's perspective these things are amazing. They're customizable, original, and fabulousssssssssssss! You can learn more about them HERE! 

Crippie's Tippie - Don't kill celebrities on twitter, and spread the word about my Scentsy Fundraiser! 

On The Mend

Hey Y'all

Thank you guys soooooooooooo much for all the wonderful get well wishes, they are very much appreciated.

Sorry I haven't been up to posting, I was rather heavy-headed until most of the anesthesia was out of my system. All things considered though this has been one of my easiest recoveries to date. Here's how everything's been going...
-The pain has been practically non-existant, a little sore at times, but nothing compared to a Fanny flare-up
-I think I've eaten my weight in bread and butter
-Spoonfuls of honey were useful when my throat hurt
-Helen has been protecting me from everything she deems evil
-I've received a bunch of awesome cards... I've gotta share some of the best ones with y'all
-The staples used to seal the wound ache sometimes
-I can bare some weight on my leg :)

I also asked for pictures of Fanny since she was a unique little mofo, and without further ado I present them to you guys... LADIES AND GENTLEMEN I GIVE YOU FANNY!!!!! If you have a weak stomach and or no sense of humor, look away.

Why yes I draw google-y eyes on pictures of tumors, THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT!  Now that I'm feeling better I should be able to get back to blogging regularly :)

Crippie's Tippie - Drawing faces on your tumors is an excellent way to freak people out

Bye Bye Fanny!

Yo!

It's Crippie in the flesh, tellin' y'all that my surgery was successful. Fanny the Ass tumor has been removed and I was home by four! I can put some weight on my leg so moving around and getting up the stairs was a breeze. As far as the pain goes, on a scale of 1-10 I'd probably say I'm a 2. It feels so weird not having a massive tumor on my butt!

As far as the nerves went, I did get the shakes while I was in the hospital and I threw up just as they were wheeling me into the OR. While that wasn't particularly fun it was better than surgeries prior. I was promised super happy fun drugs early on, buuuuuutttttt that didn't happen. I had a little "discussion" with some of the nurses on how it makes no sense to give me super happy fun drugs moments before knocking me out. They said I needed to be coherent when discussing things with all the doctors and nurses, boo. I really could have used those happy drugs.

One funny story today... when I was checking in the receptionist was going over my info, the following convo occurred...

Lady - Name?
Me - Nicole
Lady - Birthday?
Me - December 4th
Lady - And Russian is your primary language, right?
Me - 0.o um... noooooooooooooooo
Lady - Good thing I asked, we were gonna set up a Russian translator for you
Me - 0.o
Lady - That explains you lack of accent I guess
Me - Da

Now I have a question for my crippled comrades. My doctor closed the incision with staples, I've never had staples before. Do they hurt, tighten or itch while I'm healing? Are they a bitch to remove?

Well I guess that's it for tonight, I'll try to blog again tomorrow. I also have some pictures of Fanny... maybe I'll post 'em!

Crippie's Tippie - If you know you're gonna get sick, keep a basin by you at ALL times in the hospital 

Take A Load Off Fanny!

I've been waiting for foreeeevvvvveeerrrrrrr to use that line!

TODAY IS THE DAY FOLKS! Fanny's departure will take place in less than 12 hours! I have passed the dreaded midnight deadline and gotten all my crap ready. Now for the big question... am I nervous?

Not really, no. I'm doing rather well actually. Usually I start getting the chills and shaking violently at this point. While I'm not looking forward to today AT ALL... I'm not really nervous. We had a little discussion with the nurses at the hospital today and we mentioned that I tend to get violently ill before surgery, and I haven't been able to get happy meds in a timely fashion. The nurses said that they can get me my happy meds sooner! Definitely made me less anxious about everything. I've got my special anti-nausea patch so hopefully that paired with my lack-off nerves will mean that maybe I won't hurl before surgery... that would be sooooooooooo lovely.

Fanny is scheduled to be removed at 9. I have to be at the hospital around 7:30 or so, which means I have to leave the house at 5:15 in the morning... funness. If all goes well I should be home later today. I'll try to keep y'all updated either through my facebook page, twitter, and eventually here. If I'm not feeling up to blogging tomorrow I'll ask a relative to update y'all :)

I just want to take a moment to thank all you guys for supporting me for the past couple of months with this whole Fanny saga, I reaaaaaalllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyy appreciate it :)

Crippie's Tippie - When the hospital calls you in the days prior to your surgery, be vocal about all your concerns... they can probably make everything easier for you :)

Occupy Crippie

Yo!

L'shana Tova to all my Jewish readers out there!

Alrighty, Fanny meets her demise the day after tomorrow. I might be a teensy bit nervous. My tummy was a little upset today, one of the signs that I'm kinda nervous. That being said, I'm still very much looking forward to this surgery. Fanny has been killing me the past few days, the pain in my hip has traveled up my back... boo. I am really not looking forward to Tuesday, I know it is going to suck sooooooooooooo much. But this time next week I'll be on the mend. I just have to keep reminding myself that it will be over before I know it.

In terms of final preparations, I just finished pimping out my polio crutches (pictures tomorrow), and I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR!!! My unruly mane got an at home keratin treatment because my hair is a bitch and a half to maintain, straightening it makes it easier to take care off. I came to realization that I look like I'm 16 when my hair is straight like it. Luckily it got a little wavy overnight, so it looks better now (another picture tomorrow I reckon).

The pre-surgery jitters were kept at bay today by the theatre! I went to see an incredible production of "The Sound of Music" with the family. "The Sound of Music" is without a doubt my favorite Rodgers & Hammerstein musical, and "Edelweiss" is probably my favorite show tune. It's absolutely haunting, especially considering it is the last song Oscar Hammerstein wrote.



Surprisingly this was the first time I'd ever seen "The Sound of Music" on stage. Boy howdy was it marvelous. The production was astounding, it's in a black box theatre, so the space is crazy limited. Yet they were able to craft fantastic sets and they still managed to make the theatre seem huge. The actors were terrific, I absolutely loved Maria and Mother Abbess, and of course the children were freakin' adorable. The only problem is that I can't get "The Lonely Goatherd" out of my head. The piggies seem to enjoy it when I whistle it though.

Crippie's Tippie - All my local readers should check out Just Off Broadway's production of "The Sound of Music" in Newburgh 

NOMS!

Ohai Y'all

Hope you guys had a super fantastic Friday! I spent Thursday and today working and further bracing for surgery. Yesterday I started to makeover my crutches (pictures soon) and today I got my disability forms and I formulated my post-op grocery list.

After surgery I'm usually sick to my stomach and I lose my appetite for about 3-4 days. What food I do eat is usually on the bland side. I figured I'd share my list with y'all... maybe it'll be useful to someone

1) Ice Pops - If I need to be intubated during surgery, my throat will hurt like a mofo for a few days. Ice Pops (or Italian Ices) definitely help sooth a sore throat. Unfortunately ice cream is too heavy to do any service here :(

2) Ginger Ale - It has a tiny bit of flavor, and it helps with tummy issues... gotta love it

3) Coca-Cola - NOT PEPSI, Coke syrup helps with nausea

4) Bread & Butter - A classic "my tummy will kill me if I eat, but I have to eat" meal

5) Saltines - The classic "I think I'm gonna hurl I need to eat something" cracker

6) Turkey - When my appetite starts to pick up, Turkey is bland enough to not upset anything

7) Cereal (I like Cheerios) - Great for when you want a little nosh

That's about it there, do you guys have any post-op noms you wanna share?

Fanny will be removed in about 4 days, and I'm still not nervous. It's probably because I've been occupied with work, and said work has been really enjoyable. Keeping busy definitely helps the nerves. I'll be veeerrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyyy busy on Monday so hopefully that'll keep the jitters at bay. If not, Monday night I'll take a handy dandy valium and that should do the trick! I have some potential plans to keep busy this weekend, gonna try and get out of the house for as long as possible... cause I'm pretty much gonna be spending the next 3 weeks at home.

I need to start coming up with things to do while I'm stuck in the house. Can any of you guys recommend and good movies or TV shows to watch? I have just been informed that the best show of the 90's "Dinosaurs" is on Netflix in it's entirety, that should take up a few days ;) The main thing I'll be doing is spreading the word about my Scentsy Fundraiser. If you guys could pretty please spread the word with me it would mean a lot :) You can now grab the button for the fundraiser and put it on your own blogs! (again, if anyone has a charity they want me to promote, hit me up)

A word to my local readers, I will be having a physical scentsy party on September 29th. Email me if y'all would like some info on that!

Well, that's about it for tonight, have a great weekend everybody!

Crippie's Tippie - Never underestimate the power of a glass of ginger ale and some crackers for an upset tummy

Oh Have A Heart

Yo!

Happy Wednesday everybody, hope it was a good one. My day was certainly eventful to say the least. Today was pre-op day. Usually my pre-ops are a breeze, a quick exam with relatively quick clearance. Alas, wasn't so simple this time around.

It appears that my heart is kinda special. Ya see, there have been times after surgery where my heart rate has either been high or irregular. It wasn't a huge deal or anything, I was just kept in the recovery room for a little while longer. When Pointy was removed my heart started racing while I was in recovery. A nurse woke me up to tell me this. I don't remember exactly what I said to her, but it was something along the lines of "that's great... NOW LET ME SLEEP". Ultimately my heart goes back to normal and I'm on my merry little way. I tell my doctors about it, but I really don't think anything of it.

Well, today I mentioned to my doctor that my heart will occasionally spazz out during recovery. The doctor did a quick examination and discovered that my heart is on the fast side... grrrrreeeeeeaaaaaaaatttttttttttt. At this point he makes me have an EKG and more blood work done to rule out a thyroid issue... super dooper. The EKG also said my heart was fast. I was starting to get nervous, I thought I wasn't going to get clearance. My mind was probably racing faster than my heart at that point (and if anyone is wondering, I don't feel my heart racing or anything, I had no idea my heart rate was high).

Fiiiinnnnnnaaaaaalllllllllyyyyyyy the doctor came back in and gave me my clearance... HALLELUJAH! BUT he's still concerned about my heart. I need to take some heart medicine before and after the surgery to slow it down a little, I'm also gonna need to have an echocardiogram one of these days. Funness. So yeah, definitely a whirlwind appointment, but I got my clearance for surgery. That's all that matters.

So, factoring in the potential heart problems, am I nervous yet? Meh. I doubt that there's anything "wrong" with my heart per say, I think it's just quirky. My dad is the same way. I'm kinda glad that my doctor is gonna try to fix the quirks for surgery sake. Hopefully the medicine will prevent any nurses from waking me up in the middle of my nap this time!

Crippie's Tippie - Tell your doctors about your little "quirks", they kinda need to know about 'em

Use the Stairs LIKE A BOSS

Ohai Everyone!

I hope y'all had a tremendous Thursday and a freakin' awesome Friday. My day went pretty damn well. I had the day off from work today so I got to hang out with some family friends who were in town. That alone would have made for a fun day, BUT it gets better. Ya see... I forgot that one of said friends was a physical therapist. Silly Crippie. We asked her about the whole stair situation because that was probably gonna be my biggest challenge coming home. Good thing we asked her how to do it because boooooooooooooyyy was method of getting up the stairs wrong. It turns out that when you cannot put any weight on your leg, the best way to get up the stairs is backwards. Yup, you heard me, backwards!

The new and improved plan of getting me up the stairs is simple... basically I grab on to my double railings (WHICH EVERY HOUSE NEEDS) and jump up each step backwards. Someone needs to stand in front of me to spot me, but yeah, it's relatively easy. Not to mention jumping up the stairs backwards with one leg sounds totally badass! I feel like such a daredevil! Now I have 10 days to make sure my arms are strong enough for this feat of awesomeness.

Today we also took Angel and Helen to the vet for a post-op check if you will. Angel had a pretty good time, she got to go in the car, smell some awesome new dogs, play with some of said dogs, and she didn't try to kill the vet! Helen on the other was not as pleased the outing, once she realized where she was the whole "DO NOT WANT" mentality kicked and she freaked out a bit. She felt better after her 30 second (no exaggeration) check-up. Speaking of Helen tomorrow is her 1 year adoption anniversary!  It's hard to believe that little pipsqueak has been with us for an entire year. How are we gonna celebrate? With her favorite food of course! We gave Angel a hamburger for her birthday, but Helen is not the hugest fan of meats. Helen loves all things cheese. Heaven help you if you try to eat a string cheese near this dog, because she will try to kill you for it. So we are gonna celebrate by letting Helen have some cheesy products. Yes, we know that cheese is really not a great thing for dogs, but she has it in moderation.

And as promised... ANIMAL PICTURES TO MAKE UP FOR A SHORTER POST!

You know what would help me sleep... CHEEEEEESSSSSEEEEEEEEEE 

Angel and Helen sleeping

Sleeping Beauty

And representing the piggies... here's Frida being awake and cute

Crippie's Tippie - BEFRIEND A PHYSICAL THERAPIST!!! 

Lucky #13

Howdy Y'all!

13 Days til Fanny's departure! W00000000000t

Even though my surgery is less than two weeks away, and my pre-ops are a week away... STILL NOT AFRAID! Maybe this will be the first surgery in a long time where I don't make myself sick beforehand :D I'm continuing to practice moving around like an ever bigger cripple, I've almost mastered the whole walking thing. I did try to walk up the stairs, that's definitely gonna be a challenge. It's hard to really tell though, a lot depends on if my leg will be able to move and if I can put some weight on it. Either way I'll probably need someone behind me to hold my waist as I go up. We've got most everything about recovery figured out. The one thing I'm not sure of is the whole "how am I gonna use the bathroom" thing. Fanny's location will probably make for some interesting post surgery dressings. I have no idea what to expect there... I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it will just be a simple dressing around my waist. Oh well, I know how to physically get on the toilet seat, which is all that really matters I guess.

I was a teensy bit worried that all the anxiety would kick in today, but surprisingly it was quite the opposite. I found out that I qualify for temporary disability, so that relieved a tooooooooooooooon of anxiety for me. My superiors at work are being super awesome about this whole surgery thing, they were totally cool when I said that I might have be a little late to work on the days when I have pre-ops... so muccccchhh anxiety lifted off my shoulders there. Gotta love having burdens removed from you instead of adding them... YAY ME!

I think this whole Scenty Fundraiser is also helping me drive away whatever feelings of dread I might have. Planning, setting up, promoting, etc make for very worthwhile distractions. My fellow cripples and I are spreading the word of how awesome Scentsy products are. Remember to spread the word my fellow comrades! Also, if anyone else is having a fundraiser and want to spread the word just let me know, I'll be happy to advertise it here :)

I reckon that's it for tonight folks, I promise I'll post animal photos tomorrow to make up for the shortness!

Crippie's Tippie - Spread the word about my fundraiser please! 

You Have Until Midnight

Ohai Everybody!

I hope all my crippled comrades had a marvelous Monday and are having a terrific Tuesday. Today is gonna be a slightly busy day at my house because both Angel and Helen are getting their teeth cleaned, and they need to be sedated.

While this doesn't sound pleasant, they get a ride in the car and some pretty sweet drugs, so on their end it could end up being a very good day ;). The funny thing (to me anyway) is that the vet called to remind us that they cannot eat or drink anything after midnight. I dunno... I think it's cute that they get the same treatment as humans.

That being said, I HATE thinking about the no food/drink after midnight rule, especially when we are closing in on Fanny's removal. Why? Because whenever midnight rolls around on that night before surgery, it doesn't matter how much I've had to eat prior... I feel hungry, my mouth gets dry, AND there are always a bunch of commercials on TV for food and restaurants. After a few hours, the nerves plus the lack of food/water make me sick. Its a rather unpleasant feeling to say the least. Do y'all feel the same way the night before a surgery? Am I the only one who dreads midnight?

I do have a few coping mechanisms to help me deal with this rather craptacular feeling. First, I either brush my teeth or gargle something. It definitely helps with the dry mouth. Second, while I can eat I drink a crap ton of water, and I don't eat anything overly salty. Third, sometimes I take a tranquilizer before midnight so I don't have to worry about these feelings in the first place.

Oh well, in the meantime I'm gonna try and forget about that feeling and just focus on the puppies for now. They're probably gonna kill us when we don't provide them with noms tomorrow morning ;)

Crippie's Tippie - Regardless of how much you hate the no food/drink after midnight rule, DO NOT BREAK IT!!! 

Be Preparrrreeeeeeeedddddddddddd

Woot! Lion King reference!

Greetings to all my lovely readers, hope y'all had a swell Saturday. I got in some more polio crutch practice today, it's starting to get easier. My pace is increasing and I don't have to constantly look down to make sure my footing is good. Since this is coming along nicely I kinda need to start figuring out the next challenge... the stairs in my house. Thankfully I have railings on both sides of the steps, I just need to figure out the best way to maneuver myself. It shouldn't be terrriiibblllllyyyy difficult, and I do have a plan B if I can't get up the stairs on my own... essentially someone would have to hold my waist to help distribute my weight and possibly help lift me up the stairs.

Some people have asked me if I prepare this much for all of my surgeries, and why do I prepare this extensively for surgery. Well, first no I don't always prepare for surgeries like this. Mainly because some surgeries haven't required it. A general rule of thumb for me is "If Crippie can't walk... Crippie needs to practice". As to why do I put this much effort into preparations... years of experience have taught me the importance of it. For my first surgery I went to to physical therapist who taught me all the basics of using a walker. We thought that was sufficient. Lol... nope. We couldn't have anticipated all the problems we encountered for the first 72 hours. I was in too much pain to walk, so mom and dad had to find a way to bring me in the house. They both had to carry me. This caused another problem of "WHO IS GONNA OPEN THE DOOR!". Once I was inside we had to figure out how I was gonna get up the stairs. Once everything got settled we had a now legendary problem of "How are we gonna get Crippie to the bathroom". Why is it legendary? Well... I had to use the walker to get to the bathroom (which hurt like a mofo) and I needed helped sitting down, AND my leg needed to be elevated. Let's just say in the midst of all this I wound up being dropped in the toilet.

With each surgery we became better and better knowing what we would need to do and how we needed to do it. Being prepared and being ready for surgery makes the recovery period sooooooooooooooooooooooooo much easier. By anticipating the challenges now, like how am I going to get up from my bed without using my butt muscles, we can take the time to clearly and rationally think about what's needed and what we can do to fix it. In the end this takes away so much stress and anxiety for all parties involved. Of course there will always be unknowns for any surgery, and for those instances we just take it one step and a time and we try not to freak out. Freaking out leads to things like dropping people in toilets ;)

Oh, as promised to make up for my short post yesterday... PICTURES OF ANIMALS!!!

Helen climbing my leg 

Helen looking cute in between climbing my legs (hard to believe she's blind, right?)

Nellie wants food

Mama Pig wants food, also look at them chompers

Frida wants food, and she wants it NOW

Aggie DEMANDS food with an insanely loud WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK

Maggie gives begs for food

(FYI Angel doesn't like having her picture taken, I need to get some good ones of her)

Crippie's Tippie - DOUBLE RAILINGS ALL THE WAY ALONG THE STAIRS! Seriously, everyone should have them. You never know when someone will have trouble walking.

Crippie (Tries to) Walk The Line

Hola!

I hope all my crippled comrades had a fabulous Friday. I got home from work at a decent hour so I got in more practice with my "polio crutches". Building up the strength in my arms a verrrryyyyy wise decision to make. If I wasn't doing this I would definitely be struggling post-op. It feels like it takes the rest of all eternity to get from point A to B currently, I don't even want to think about how much that would suck struggling to walk while dealing with post-op pain 0.o 

I do have some tippies for y'all who might have to practice using a new mobility aid. Play music, preferably something with a beat so you can move with the music and get a steady pace going. "We Will Rock You" makes for an excellent pace setter. Of course pump up music like "Eye of the Tiger" could also do splendidly. At the moment I'm doing laps up and down my driveway so I can get used to walking for an extended period of time. As the surgery draws nearer I'll practice more in my house so I can master navigating it. Also, don't be surprised if practice tires you out... it's basically a work out. And as always, stop if it's really painful to practice. If you have no clue what you are doing or what do expect, see a physical therapist, they'll help show you how to move and all that jazz. 

In other pre-surgery prep news I've scheduled my pre-op appointment, and I'm still not nervous about this surgery. I know the first week will suck a lot, but I'd rather deal with a week of hell than a lifetime of Fanny. 

Well, that's about it for tonight folks, I guess I really tired myself out practicing. I'll make it up to y'all with piggie and puppy pictures tomorrow... I SWEAR.

Crippie's Tippie - The Eye of the Tiger is the greatest pump up song EVER

Surgery Pre-Gaming

Greetings!

I hope all my readers had a fabulous Friday. Mine went pretty well, I went to work and I managed to get home before another massive rainstorm. Luckily I was able to just lie down with my heat pack before and during the storm so the pain was rather manageable.

I don't know if I've mentioned it, but in one month and one day I'll be having Fanny removed. While I am beyond happy about this event, I have to remember that I am having hip surgery, and I need to prepare for that. What do I have to do? The first thing I have to do is practice walking with two crutches. Me thinks I won't be able to put weight down on my leg for two weeks or so, so I need to make sure that my arms are prepared for the task at hand. I usually use a forearm crutch on my right arm, so that arm is pretty strong, now I just have to make sure my other arm is ready for task. If you're gonna be having a surgery that involves using a new mobility aid afterwords I totally recommend practicing walking with those aids BEFORE your surgery. It's not a great idea to try out those new crutches when you are in pain and higher than a kite. Also, walk around your house to make sure that you can. I hate using my walker in the house because my house is just not built for walkers, lots of tighter corners. I have to walk sideways when going into my bathroom, not fun.

We're also making sure that we have all the other little things that I will probably need while recovering, at least for a few days. These things include a toilet seat lift, one of those nifty breakfast trays so you can eat in bed, etc. We figured out where I'll be situated in my house for those first three days of hell after surgery. I'll be living in my room because of it's location to the bathroom, height of the bed, proximity to others, and comfort. I try to see that there are several trash cans in the rooms for those first few days of recovery... cause that's when I tend to get sick.

Since Fanny is located right around where a waistband would be, I had to take into consideration that I will probably be wearing a crap ton of dresses and high waisted skirts during the first few weeks of recovery. As far as undergarments go... well... I found some high waisted things that will suffice.

Yeah, I know I might seem very giddy about this whole thing, but I'm realistic about the whole surgery process. I know how much the first few days are gonna suck and I'm ready for it. I've got 10 prior surgeries worth of experience and know-how to help me get through this one.

Crippie's Tippie - I cannot stress the trashcan tip enough, have one trash can for trash, but have another for... ya know... not trash. 

I'm Still Not Afraid

Howdy Y'all! 

It's almost August 16th, and y'all know what that means right? It means that in a mere one month and two days I will be bidding adieu to Fanny the Ass Tumor. If it sounds like I'm excited, that's because I am. I cannot wait for her to be gone. I wonder what it will feel like to have her out, I'm sure my sciatic nerve will thank me. 

As I've said before, I'm rarely nervous in the weeks prior to surgery, even when I'm not particularly thrilled about the surgery in questions. There would be times when I would get a little uneasy though, mainly when I would get the forms for the surgery in the mail, or getting my pre-ops done, etc. Well, yesterday I received the forms for my surgery... instead of thinking "Eh crap, surgery" I thought "YUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSS". Lol, just as I was typing that Fanny sent a shooting pain up my spine. Maybe she doesn't like that I'm saying bad things about her ;) Bring it on, you won't be my problem for much longer!!! 

In guinea pig news, the Mama, Maggie, Nellie, and Frida are continuing to bond. Maggie is so happy to have company that her appetite has increased dramatically. When she was alone she hardly touched her hay, now she'll nosh on it throughout the day. She's starting to grow on the rest of the group, her introduction is actually going a lot smoother than Nellie's intro did. I'm pleasantly surprised with how well this has gone, and I'm kicking myself for not doing it sooner. 

In dog news, Helen went to the vet a few days ago for a check-up and some vaccines. While she was a very good girl the shots hurt her shoulders and they made her verrrrrryyyyyy sleepy. Helen is a lazy bum to begin with, so this just made her even more tired. How tired do you say? Well.......

She fell asleep while walking to her dinner. Helen is feeling much better now, but that was probably one of the cutest damn things I've ever seen in my life. Also, how trippy is my kitchen floor. Gotta love the 70's! 

Alas, I should probably head off to bed now, I've got another busy day ahead of me tomorrow.

Crippie's Tippie - try to see the good things in every situation. On the dark side I'm having surgery, on the bright side I will finally be rid of Fanny!