Rice Crippies

Ohai,

The Mama Pig Update - We are continuing with the two salads treatment today because of the very positive results of last night. Crippie cannot even begin to describe the looks of joy on their faces when they see their salads. Again, the pigs were very content and had adorable food comas... I swear some of them were smiling! Guinea pigs have teeny tiny bladders, so normally when you have them out for a prolonged period of time they will wee and poop on you. Mama Pig hasn't been doing that for the past couple of weeks. Tonight Crippie wanted to see how well Mama Pig's bladder worked without any massages or flushings of any kind. So, Crippie took a dog bed, put one of those waterproof covers on it, put Mama Pig in it, and just let her be. Mama Pig and I watched one of Crippie's favorite shows "16 and Pregnant" (DON'T JUDGE MEEEEEE) for a good two hours. I do believe Mama Pig is a middle aged woman trapped in a guinea pig's body... she really enjoyed it! She would watch the screen, purr when she heard people fighting, and gazed with wonder at the pretty colors. Thankfully Mama Pig was able to take massive wees and poops ALL BY HERSELF!!! YAY MAMA PIG!!! Crippie is finally starting to feel optimistic about her prognosis. She's made it past the two week point (when we lost Emma) and she is able to pee and poop all by herself!!! Crippie is gonna keep her with the double salads for a few more days until her tummy fully gets back into the swing of things.

Moving on, Crippie was planning on visiting the boys today but I just wasn't feeling up to it. That and I was called in to work early so I didn't have time. I'll go see them on Thursday. But yeah, Crippie had a rough day pain wise. It's all rainy and muggy and boy howdy did I feel it. All my joints felt achy and damn near all of them were popping, snapping, and crackling. I literally sounded like rice crispies. While sounding like a cereal is mildly entertaining I was realllllllyyyyyyyyy uncomfortable. Crippie had to constantly pop my wrist and shoulder at work and my hips and arms made crackling noises when I moved. I kinda wonder if anyone heard me... Do any of my readers make super fun noises and can people hear you?

So yesterday I mentioned that I have a little reaction time issue. Crippie figured now is as good a time as any to discuss it a little more. Crippie has MHE. MHE is a genetic disorder which causes a lack of heparin sulfate to be produced in my body. This causes the bone tumors. Recent studies also show that this heparin sulfate deficiency causes "Autism like symptoms". While Crippie isn't exactly Autistic, I do display some "Autistic Tendencies". This delayed reaction time is one of them. A split second decision takes about 1 or 2 seconds for me. Doesn't seem like much, but it can add up. For example tonight Crippie was opening a new bottle of soda. I know to open the bottle slowly and I was watching the bottle to see if it was gonna overflow. It really started to fizz and my dad yelled "CLOSE THE SODA" about 1.5 seconds later I closed it. The soda didn't spill luckily but it was obvious that it took me a second to process that information. It's rather annoying at times. If someone is trying to tell me something that requires a lot of thought it takes me a few seconds to figure out what the hell they are talking about. Crippie is trying to train herself to process things faster, and I'm getting slightly better at it. Believe it or not, video games seems to be helping me with this. They require you to pay very close attention to something and you need to time things properly.

Also, Crippie was thinking of making a video of general guinea pig tips. Does anyone have any piggie questions they'd like to hear me answer?

Crippie's Tippie - Don't be dissin' "16 and Pregnant" and video games, they actually serve some purposes. 

Random Crippie Things

Ohai

The Mama Pig Update - Today we tried the "feed her like she's never been fed before" method. This resulted in several things, 1) Very happy pigs 2) very very happy pigs 3) the cutest food comas I've ever seen in my life 4) a looooooooooooooot of poopies from Mama Pig. She still needed help going so she is still not cured, but I see today as a good step. We are wondering how much peeing and pooping she does on her own, so tomorrow we are gonna let Mama Pig have some "alone time" on the upper level of the cage. Let's hope that she can wee and poop on her own *fingers crossed*

Moving on, Crippie realized she forgot to post a picture of the gingerness! How on Earth could I make such a foolish mistake?!?!?! Well, here ya have it folks, Crippie's new ginger color.

I had to sign sooooooooooooooooooooo many forms for the whole "soul selling" process, but I think the end result was totally worth it!

In other news, it's 3am and Crippie is still awake. So forgive if the rest of this post is weird and not cohesive.

We're still waiting for my damn MRI to be approved. I guess Crippie is gonna have to make some calls tomorrow. Crippie did come up with a somewhat catchy chant if they turn it down again... 1-2-3-4-5 GIVE CRIPPIE HER MRI 6-7-8-9-10 DO NOT MAKE ME ASK AGAIN. I dunno... I like it.

Crippie almost had a panic attack driving home from work today! I was driving home and it was raining, all of the sudden I see that road is completely blocked off and I needed to take a "detour". The detour wasn't properly labeled as a detour and Crippie didn't know that area so natural I started freaking out. I didn't know what to do. Crippie has a bit of a delayed reaction time (possible side effect of MHE) and the thought of turning around and taking an alternate road didn't appear in my head for a good 5 minutes. So Crippie was just driving the detour, swearing like nobody's business and trying to follow the cars. That was the one thing I knew to do, follow the cars. The cars kept going into driveways and staying there, ya know... cause that's where they friggin lived. So after some more swearing I FINALLY had the moment of clarity to turn around in a driveway and take the alternative route home. I then had a mini anxiety attack about finding a good driveway. That was short lived because a really good driveway appeared fairly quickly. Crippie managed to pull herself together and take the damn alternative route. I was still freaking out because this was such a major change in my routine and I was trying to think of what to do if there was another closed road. Luckily Crippie did not encounter any more closed roads and I made it home in one piece... half and hour later than usually but in one piece nonetheless. Crippie is very proud of herself, mainly because I kinda stayed calm and I eventually figured out what had to be done.

Depending on how the weather is tomorrow (later today... whatever) Crippie is planning on visiting Andrew and Charlie. Yup, they're still up for adoption at my local humane society. Crippie is toying with the idea of fostering them one day. I dunno, for now Crippie is gonna continue with the shelter visits and hope that someone will adopt them. ALSO... If you are reading this, are considering adopting them, and are local to me... Crippie will gladly help you get them settled in and give you any "piggie pointers" if you need them. Just message me.

Ah the ramblings of a person who really should be going to sleep, very entertaining.

Crippie's Tippie - Have more than one route for your everyday destinations

Happy Mother's Day!

Greetings!

The Mama Pig update - Mama Pig celebrated with some dried bananas, one of her favorite treats! She continues to have problems pooping. Crippie probably needs to increase the amount of food Mama pig consumes in a day. *Gasp* I know, I'm a terribly mommy, giving my pigs two salads a day instead of one. However will they manage!

Moving on, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to all my readers who are moms! Crippie's hopes each and every last one of y'all had a fantastic mothers day! Crippie had a wonderful day celebrating with her Mom and Grandma. Crippie's Mom, Dad, Sister, Grandma and I went to a local diner for noms and we obtained KFC for dinner so no one would have to cook at all today!!! Yay us!

Since Mother's Day is all about showing your appreciation for your mom Crippie figured she'd give a shout out to her totally awesome Mom! Crippie's loves her mother very, very much. She's smart, funny, and all around awesome. She's always been supportive of my endeavors and she's always encouraged me to be the best I can be. Whenever Crippie was sick or recovering from a surgery my mom was always there taking care of me. I cannot even begin to imagine how hard that must have been for her to go through. Most parents can't stand the thought of their kid crying for an immunization... I can't imagine how much it must've hurt her to see me crying because I had massive nerve damage. Being a parent to a special needs child takes massive amounts of courage and strength in order to get from day to day, and my mom certainly displayed that. She fought the school system to get the accommodations I needed, she would speak to my classes to let people know what was wrong with me. Crippie's mom helps run a friggin support group for people with MHE... that's pretty much "Awesome Cripple Mom Level 9000". Not to mention that I'm not the only cripple in the family. My sister has some mental illnesses and my mom is constantly advocating for her needs. Seriously people, it's harder to advocate for mental illness than physical illnesses.... it takes soooooooooooooo much patience to deal with the bull crap. My mom deals with all this alllll while dealing with fibromyalgia.

In short, my mom has to deal with a lot of crap, but she handles herself with dignity and grace. Crippie definitely tries to model herself after her :D

Love you Mommie! HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!! <3

Crippie's Tippie - Don't just appreciate your mother on mother's day... appreciate her on ALL THE DAYS!

And Let The MRI Drama Begin!

Sup?

Mama Pig Update - Mama Pig has gotten to the point where the untrained eye would not be able to tell she was sick. She is acting like her old self, very good. She is stilllllll having problems pooping though. We tried massaging her tonight to stimulate her but it wasn't enough to make her go. This issue was solved by giving her a few CC's of water. That definitely helped clean out her tummy a little. Mama Pig also managed to get revenge by shooting urine at me while I was massaging her. A word of advice readers, it doesn't matter if your pig is a boy or a girl... they can and will shoot pee at you, and they have deadly aim. Alas, being peed on comes with the territory, and it means that she doesn't have any problems urinating, so that's good :)

Moving on to cripple business, my insurance company called today to let me know if my MRI was approved. My doctor ordered 2 MRIs, one for my hip and lower spine region and one for my pelvic region. The insurance company approved my hip and lower spine MRI but the declined my pelvic MRI. FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!! Crippie's doctor is gonna have to call them and say "Hey assholes, the two MRIs are for two different problems" If that doesn't work Crippie is gonna start complaining. How? Social Media baby! Insurance companies don't enjoy seeing their names tarnished on twitter. Seriously y'all... twitter's search filter makes it very easy for companies to see what's being written about them. Crippie thinks a catchy chant is in order. So far I've got "WHAT DO WE WANT... AN MRI... WHEN DO WE WANT IT... WITHEN THE MONTH". I think we can do better... any suggestions readers?

Apart from the frustration with the MRI Crippie actually had a pleasant day. I was supposed to be in work for most of today but the computers were malfunctioning so everyone left. Technology, can't live with it, can't live without it. Crippie was freed from work around 2:30, since I was already out of the house I should do something productive. *MOM STOP READING HERE* I needed to get my mom a mother's day pressie *MOM SERIOUSLY STOP READING THIS* So I drove into town where a new bookstore had just opened. Crippie's mom enjoys reading, and Crippie enjoys looking at book covers (seriously, I'd love to design book covers for a living) so it's pretty safe to say I was morally obliged to visit this new shop. Much to Crippie's delight she found some beautiful vintage books, current art & design books, and "The Walking Dead" graphic novels, and maybe some books that might have been on my mom's wish list ;) In other words, Crippie had a super fun time browsing the bookstore. Here's some pics of the nifty vintage books they had!

Aren't they fantastic! Crippie especially loved the first one *mmmmm art deco". Anywhoo after that lovely venture I went to the drug store to get some general odds and ends, including hair color. Crippie is now a GINGER!!! I'll take some pictures of the color tomorrow in the daylight. But yeah, Crippie really enjoys running errands on her own, I guess it makes me feel independent.

Tomorrow (or today rather... the joys of posting early in the morning) is gonna be a very long day, mainly because I'll have to make up all the work I wasn't able to complete today. Oh well, at least I got to see some really pretty books today.

Crippie's Tippie - Mad at a company? Complain on Twitter or Facebook. If you have photographic proofs that they are being hilariously terrible post it to reddit, who knows, maybe it will go viral! 

Crippie Discusses The Tony Nominations

Salutations!


First things first... the Mama Pig Update. Mama Pig is continuing to recover. She's still having some issues pooping, but she's getting better as the days go on. I've stopped giving her pain medicine at night and she no longer needs ridiculous amounts of fluids to make her go. Tonight we experimented with a "fluid-less flush". This consisted of a nice relaxing massage from Crippie's mom. It calmed her down to a point where she could pee and poop freely, which she did. We're probably gonna try more massages as the days go on. Again, Crippie is still not gonna say that Mama Pig is "cured" because I thought Emma was cured... she was on the mend then she stopped peeing, she was gone 12 hours later.


Other than taking care of the pig Crippie had a very chill day. I had plans to go visit the boys at the shelter but I was just too tired and achy to go. Ever have one of those days where everyone in your house feels like crap, that was my day. The dogs were included in that statement. Helen was sleeping on my bed for a good 6 hours today. The day of rest did me good. Crippie doesn't feel quite as crappy now.


Moving on to Theatre Nerd business. The Tony Award Nominees have been announced! I don't know about you guys, but I love trying to guess winners of awards and events. Crippie almost guessed the winner of the Kentucky Derby this year and I've correctly guessed the winner of the Superbowl for ten years straight! I don't even know a damn thing about sports!!!  Crippie is also rather gifted when it comes to guessing awards that she knows a thing or two about. So without further adieu... I give you Crippie's guesses for the Musical categories. I don't know a damn thing about the plays.


Best musical: “Leap of Faith,” “Newsies,” “Nice Work If You Can Get It,” “Once.”
CRIPPIE'S GUESS - ONCE - While there are no clear "shoe-ins" for the winner, Once got great reviews, has a different sound than most musicals, AND they do Irish music jam sessions before the show and during the intermission. In other words, Once is special. 


Best book of a musical: “Lysistrata Jones,” “Newsies,” “Nice Work If You Can Get It,” “Once.”
CRIPPIE'S GUESS - ONCE - Again, Once is awesome. I've always loved the story.


Best original score (music and/or lyrics) written for the theater: “Bonnie & Clyde,” “Newsies,” “One Man, Two Guvnors,” “Peter and the Starcatcher.”
CRIPPIE'S GUESS - NEWSIES - I'm guessing this because A) There's a special place in Crippie's heart for Alan Menken B) It's the only successful show amongst the nominees C) Crippie hates Bonnie and Clyde with a passion. Seriously if Bonnie and Clyde wins that award there will be a massive Cripple Rant here. 


Best revival of a musical: “Evita,” “Follies,” “The Gershwins’ Porgy and Bess,” “Jesus Christ Superstar.”
CRIPPIE'S GUESS - PORGY AND BESS - How do I put this lightly... this was the only one that got really good reviews. Also, they took out the racism, which is nice.


Best performance by an actor in a leading role in a musical: Danny Burstein, “Follies”; Jeremy Jordan, “Newsies”; Steve Kazee, “Once”; Norm Lewis, “The Gershwins’ Porgy and Bess”; Ron Raines, “Follies.”
CRIPPIE'S GUESS - NORM LEWIS - Porgy and Bess is just a great musical and it demands great actors


Best performance by an actress in a leading role in a musical: Jan Maxwell, “Follies”; Audra McDonald, “The Gershwins’ Porgy and Bess”; Cristin Milioti, “Once”; Kelli O’Hara, “Nice Work If You Can Get It”; Laura Osnes, “Bonnie & Clyde.”
CRIPPIE'S GUESS - AUDRA McDONALD - It's Audra friggin McDonald, she'd get a Tony for this part even if she was sitting in the damn audience. I'd also like to see the chick from Once get this, but I don't think it'll happen.


Best performance by an actor in a featured role in a musical: Phillip Boykin, “The Gershwins’ Porgy and Bess”; Michael Cerveris, “Evita”; David Alan Grier, “The Gershwins’ Porgy and Bess”; Michael McGrath, “Nice Work If You Can Get It”; Josh Young, “Jesus Christ Superstar.”
CRIPPIE'S GUESS - MICHAEL CERVERIS - Why? Because Michael Cerveris kicks ass, that why.


Best performance by an actress in a featured role in a musical: Elizabeth A. Davis, “Once”; Jayne Houdyshell, “Follies”; Judy Kaye, “Nice Work If You Can Get It”; Jessie Mueller, “On a Clear Day You Can See Forever”; Da’Vine Joy Randolph, “Ghost the Musical.”
CRIPPIE'S GUESS - ELIZABETH A. DAVIS - She has one of those special memorable parts that just gets you a Tony.


The Tonys are June 10th and NEIL PATRICK HARRIS is hosting... ommmmggggggg so excited! 


Crippie's Tippie - Unless you want to see Crippie yell at you about theatre, don't tell her that you like "Bonnie and Clyde the Musical" 

Back To Business

Ohai!

Crippie hopes everyone has been enjoying their week thus far. Mine has been getting increasingly better. Mama Pig is slowly but surely continuing to recover. Crippie is still flushing her out every night but it's becoming so much easier. Since Crippie doesn't have work tomorrow I'll probably be flushing Mama several times tomorrow, hopefully that will get the remaining crap out. 

Since Mama Pig has been feeling better all the piggies have really enjoyed mooching off her illness. She needs extra food and it is impossible to just feed one piggie ;). Also Nellie and Aggie really love Pedialyte and water mixed together, so they get a little bit of "special juice" when Mama gets it. 

Now the Mama Pig seems to be stabilizing Crippie can start blogging about things other than guinea pigs... shocking! In cripple news, I'm still waiting for approval for my MRI. We're gonna call tomorrow and be all like "Ohai, I can haz approval? kthnxbai". Crippie really wants to get the ball rolling with this thing. I want to get this damn MRI done, find out whats going on, and treat it. Crippie feels like this Fanny matter is holding me back. Crippie isn't afraid of this pending MRI at all... I'm not claustrophobic (I rather enjoy small spaces) and I'm not prone to headaches. I'm not afraid of having Fanny removed if need be. At this point, Crippie just wants to nip this thing in the butt (pun intended)

The rain has also been kicking Crippie's ass and furthering her desire to get this damn MRI done. I really don't enjoy saying "the rain is making my arthritis and sciatica act up", definitely doesn't sound like something your average 23 year old would say. Oh well, Crippie is coping with the weather as best as she can. I have a bottle of extra strength tylenol at work and I've been popping several of those bad boys a day. Crippie is also having a flare up in her right hand and index finger. Crippie tries to stretch out her fingers and muscles when this happens, it makes my hand look like a claw but it's oddly comfy. Currently my hand is wrapped up in an ace bandage, again feels surprisingly comfy. 

So that's about it folks. Mama Pig is getting better and I hate changes with barometric pressure. I eagerly await to blog about things other than sick piggies, like the Tony nominations for example! 

Crippie's Tippie - Be cautious if you plan on popping tylenol like candy. Like most pain meds it can do damage to your tummy if you have massive amounts of it. I try not to go over 2,500mg a day, but that's just Crippie.

Piggie Post - Nurse Mode

Greetings,

Crippie swears that she will return to talking about living with disabilities really soon, but for now this is kinda consuming my life. 

As most of you know Mama Pig has been sick for a little over a week now. If you've missed it here's what happened so far.

1st- She started peeing blood, a lot of blood. Either a sign of a UTI or a bladder stone (bladder stones can be very hard to treat and fatal). First we monitored her and tried to flush out whatever was bothering her. 

2nd- She stopped peeing for a while. This event could have been FATAL if left untreated. Thinking this was a sign of a bladder stone I put her in a warm bath and gave her massages with my hands and with the all glorious electric toothbrush. I was eventually able to stabilize her. After this incident we knew she needed to see a vet ASAP. We couldn't get an appointment immediately but Crippie was able to keep Mama stable until she was able to pay a visit to the vet.

3rd- Mama sees the vet. She is prescribed anti-biotics to help with the UTI. We also receive pain medications, motility drugs, and emergency food. 

4th- Mama willingly takes her medicine and shows signs of improvement. She's still a little lethargic at times, but she is recovering from a massive UTI

5th- Mama starts crying in the middle of the night. She cannot poop. This event could have also been FATAL if left untreated. Crippie flushes her out with pedialyte and massages her with a toothbrush for a few hours. Eventually Mama passes some poops and some gas. BTW, gas can be a very serious problem for pigs. She stabilizes and I decide to use some pain medication from the crisis kit.

6th- The following day Mama seemed relatively normal, until she started crying again. She can't poop again and she seems gassy. Again, FATAL if not treated. Continued with the toothbrush and pedialyte method although it is not a successful as the last night. She stabilizes again.

7th- She starts crying during the day. Same possibly FATAL problem. Crippie treats her with the pedialyte and toothbrush but it is not working well. We also try to give her a hot bath. It yields some results, but not enough. We start to suspect she is having a reaction to her antibiotics and we decide to stop giving them to her. We also decide that another visit to the vet is in order.

8th- Mama sees the vet. It's been 24 hours since she's had medicine, so she's feeling slightly better. The whole experience of going to the vet scares the crap out of her... literally. She manages to pee and poop for (and on) the vet. The vet does NOT think Mama Pig has a stone of any kind. She agrees with our treatment of stopping the meds. The vet gives us more pain meds and tells us to make sure Mama Pig eats.

9th- Mama starts to feel better. She remembers that food is delicious and starts eating everything in site. While it is still challenging, Mama is able to pee and poop all by herself. Crippie will help Mama Pig clear out her system over the next couple of days by giving her pain medicine at night and flushing her with a water and pedialyte mix. The toothbrush is not needed for now. In other words Mama Pig has taken a turn in the right direction. 

Yup, for the time being Mama Pig is getting better, but Crippie isn't celebrating just yet. Mama could take another turn for the worse at any time and I can't lull myself into a false sense of security. You've gotta keep an eye out for suspicious behaviors like being all puffed up in a corner, or crying, not wanting treats, etc. 

Mama Pig wants to thank everyone who has been sending purrs and prayers. She says she can feel the ninja vibes penetrating her tummy and making it easier for her to poop :)

A very relaxed Mama Pig after taking some pain meds

Crippie's Tippie - Remember people, Guinea Pigs live for eating, pooping, and peeing. If they are not doing one of those things something is horribly wrong. 

Guinea Pigs = Serious Business

Hi Y'all

Crippie's just popping by to say that posts are probably gonna be very short and sporadic this week. The reason being is that Mama Pig is still very sick. It seems that she manages well enough during the day, but she struggles at night. Crippie has been up taking care of Mama Pig well past 3am for three days straight now. We're gonna try and take her to the vet tomorrow. Mama Pig is one tough cookie and Crippie is gonna do everything in her power to keep her alive.

Crippie's Tippie - Guinea Pigs require a lot of work. Crippie literally spent three hours today pumping Mama with fluids and physically helping her urinate and defecate. This is by no means easy or glamorous, but piggies are completely worth fighting for.

All Hail The Magic Toothbrush

Greetings,


 I hope everyone enjoyed their May 4th. Before I begin my post Crippie wanted to pay tribute to the 4 students killed in the Kent State Massacre 42 years ago. May we never forget Jeffrey, Allison, William, and Sandra and may we never let it happen again.

Crippie's day was certainly interesting to say the least. The weather is changing again and that caused my hip to hurt a lot. I tried to sleep it off once I got home from work, it kinda helped. Crippie spent most of the night chilling cause I was achy. Pretty much a normal "its gon rain" night. Well, at least I thought it was.

I was getting ready for bed, just relaxing when all of the sudden I hear one of the guinea pigs crying. Their cries are very loud and you can tell that something is wrong when you hear it. At first Crippie thought it was Maggie, because she get can a little screamy when she's in heat. I went to check it out and much to my horror it was Mama Pig. Frida and Nellie were sleeping far away from her so they weren't harming her or anything. She was just sitting there crying. This is reaaaaaaaallllllllyyyyyyyyyy bad. It means that it is hurting her to pee and poop.

Crippie had to spring into doctor mode and fix Mama. First I gave her some pedialyte and then I observed her for a few minutes. She tried to wee and poop but she started screaming again. Next step was to get her to empty her bladder. Crippie did this by massaging her tummy with an electric toothbrush. I covered the toothbrush with a ziploc bag for sanitary reasons and I held part of the toothbrush to ease the amount of vibration she would feel. After about 2 minutes of massaging her tummy (with a focus on the bladder) she started defecating. Boy howdy did she ever need to poop. How do I phrase this lightly? Mama Pig probs got a little constipated by the meds. The pedialyte and toothbrush fixed the hard poop problem and once the poop was able to come out maaasssssssiiiiiivvvvveeeeee amounts of crap came out. Sorry if this isn't the most pleasant topic, but this kinda stuff comes with territory of pig ownership. After Mama passed the massive amount of crap she still needed to wee (to prove there is no stone blocking the path). All I can say is all hail the magic toothbrush. After a few more bladder massages she started weeing. Crippie continued the massages for two hours, periodically giving her water or pedialyte. Eventually massive amounts of wee and crap were freed from Mama's tummy. After that ordeal she was pooped (pun intended) so I put her back in the cage. Before I put her back I gave her some pain medicine. Metacam is also an NSAID so it should also help with any inflammation. Poor Mama Pig, as soon as she got into the cage she got comfy and fell asleep.

So yeah, Mama Pig is definitely not out of the woods. I'm gonna keep a super close eye on her for the next few days. If the medicine is making her constipated we'll just have to constantly keep her hydrated and keep giving her pedialyte. I don't think she'll object to that ;)

Crippie's Tippie - Electric toothbrushes can help save piggie's lives... good to know

Wow, My Hips Suck

Hiya!

Oh my good n' plenty thank you guys so much for your ninja healing vibes! I think they might've worked!
Alright, so here's how Crippie's appointment went... first the nurse who brought me to my room asked me some questions. She must've been new because she asked these questions while the door was still open and she left the x-rays of the last patient on the computer screen. While waiting for my doctor I analyzed the x-rays of the person before me. Crippie thinks their leg had to be broken and straightened with a rod a screws. Then my doctor came in for my check-up. The main focus was my hip. I mentioned that a tumor could be irritating the sciatic nerve. He did an exam which more or less involved poking my ass, it was kinda painful and I'm ticklish so I was giggling most of the time. He also asked how I know it's a tumor pressing on the nerve. The conversation that followed was pretty funny in my opinion...

Doctor - What makes you think a tumor is pressing on that nerve, can you feel a tumor?
Crippie - Most definitely, it's visible on my back
*doctor goes to examine my back and discovers Fanny The Ass Tumor*
Doctor - WHOA... yeaaaaaaaah... let's get you some x-rays

Then Crippie went into the x-ray room. I've had too many x-rays to count, Crippie is kinda upset that I can't glow in the dark yet. Anyway, it's kinda cute to see how the x-ray technician treats me. They always think I'm a n00b and try to be super gentle with me. Go figure this guy sounded super sweet and gentle but I don't think he realized his own strength. He was kinda rough positioning me, you'd think that if someone's x-ray order was for their hips you wouldn't grab the hip to position it. So the x-ray portion was uncomfortable to say the least, but the end results are totally worth the pain for me.

The top x-ray is my new one. The bottom one is the old one for comparison. As you can see Fanny The Ass Tumor has grown quite a bit since my last x-ray. The doctor says I need an MRI to determine is Fanny is irritating my nerve. If that's the case... Fanny's gotta go. On the plus side, that's not a terribly invasive surgery. Shockingly, Crippie has never had an MRI before, so that will be a fun new experience.

As for the whole "I CAN'T SIT" problem, according to the x-ray there are no tumors in that area that would cause a problem. My doctor thinks this issue exists because I am relatively petite, on the skinny side, and I sit down a lot. So apparently my ability to sit has cost me my ability to sit. Damn you irony, damn you. The doctor says a shot of cortisone to the butt could help. The thing is Crippie has an aversion to Cortisone and to having a needle in my ass. Yes, Crippie is well aware that I can tolerate a surgery but not a shot of cortisone in my ass... MOAR IRONY!!! Any suggestions about what to do readers?

Crippie is soooooooooooo glad that her appointment went better than expected. Mama Pig is doing well for the time being. She's getting tired of her medicine, at least she doesn't fight us about it (well, she took a wee on my mom who holding while I fed her). She sends everyone purrs, wheeks, and kisses. She loves attention from people, regardless of where they are.

Crippie's Tippie - The ability to read x-rays comes in realllllllyyyyyyyy handy at times