Crippie Lost The Immunity Challenge

*ACCHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO*

Yup *cough*... Crippie is a total jinx. I wrote a blog post about not *cough cough cough* getting sick and what do I do after that... I GET SICK. *Cough* it appears that Crippie has come down with a little cold. So yeahhhh, sorry about the lack of posts people, haven't been feeling well enough to post.

To make up for the lack of posts *cough*... here's some guinea pig pictures.

The Trio, eating hay and looking a wall

Nellie, Cleaning her Feetsies

Frida asking for food

Nellie asking for food/forgiveness for not posting in several days

Crippie's Tippie - Never brag about anything over the interwebz...  *cough* it will come back and bite you in the ass

Put On Your Yarmulke...

Shalom!

I hope all of my wonderful readers had a wonderful weekend and Monday. I worked on Saturday and did some last minute Hanukkah shopping. On Sunday I went to a family holiday party and had a lovely time, I had a lot of noms and I met a turtle. So I would say my weekend was rather fun.
It was a refreshing change because mid-Decembers have really sucked for my family for past few years. My maternal Grandfather died on December 18th 2007 and my paternal Grandfather died on December 19th 2009, RIP Grumpy & PopPop, love ya lots. Yeah, and this year we're coping with our Aunt's recent passing. Death sucks. It's hard to deal with but I have a feeling that they are watching over us. Spending time with the family definitely helps ease the sadness.
Moving on to happier topics... IT'S ALMOST HANUKKAH!!! I love when Hanukkah falls around this time of year, it starts before and ends after Christmas :D. I figured since it's the Holiday season I'd answer "Jew-ie" questions for the next few days. So if anyone has any question for me, bring 'em on. I'll ease in to this whole "Jew" topic with a Crippie/Jew-ie crossover question... "Which do you find more offensive, Cripple jokes or Jew jokes?"

Honestly it all depends on the joke, I find lighthearted cripple and jew jokes heilarious. Anne Frankly, as long as the joke isn't terribly mean spirited I don't care. There is a line though, once you start implying that disabled people are lesser individuals or unwanted I take offense. As for Jew jokes I can take the "cheap" jokes pretty well (mainly cause I am really freakin' cheap) same with any other stereotype based joke. Holocaust jokes are another story though. Clearly I have no problem with lame puns, Nazi, and Hitler jokes but a line is crossed when you start making jokes about the Jews or the camps. Those camps represent the absolute worst of man, there's really nothing humorous about them. So I guess I would say I find really bad Jew jokes more offensive than really bad Cripple jokes.

Jew-ie's Tippie - Unless you pretty damn sure that no one in your general area won't be offended... keep the jokes to yourself or to the internet. Chances are your joke will be considered funny on the internet. 

NHBPM- Crippie is a REBEL!!!!!

Hi Everybody!

Crippie is gonna ignore ANOTHER NHBPM prompt tonight! The prompt I'm going to ignore tonight is... Be present. Describe something peaceful with as much sensory imagery as you can. What are the sights, sounds, scents, and feelings? 
I'm ignoring this one for several reasons, one being I'm very tired and I think I might be getting sick, the other reason is that I'm not very good at describing "love-y dove-y abstract things" like that. I'm kinda literal when it comes to that stuff.
Instead I'm gonna answer a question that I was recently asked. Since Crippie is such a rebel I was asked if I ever do things to taunt and or "freak out" normals. When Crippie is vastly outnumbered by normals I leave them alone. When Crippie is with several other crippies... HELL YEAH WE FREAK OUT NORMALS! 
We cripples are very subtle about our "normal freak outs". Generally we go out in public, somewhere with a lot of people in a small space, like an elevator and discuss our crippledness. It can be as simple as "hey look at my new scar" or as complex as "do you think society looks down on us for being disabled?" and we just continue this conversation and weird out the normals. Nothin' terrible, but boy do we enjoy weirding people out on occasion. Why do we do this? Why not? We're pretty sure that people get uncomfortable around cripples they don't know anyway... why not get some lulz out of it.


Crippie's Tippie- Don't freak out the normals tooooo often, then it loses it's magic. 


This post was written as part of NHBPM – 30 health posts in 30 days: http://bit.ly/vU0g9J 

Urbandictionary Lolz

'Ello

A few posts ago I mentioned how the definition of "crippie" on Urbandictionary leaves something to be desired. Upon closer inspection I found out that the word crippie also means "a crippled hippie". My qualms with Urbandictionary are no more.

Here's a list of my favorite Urbandictionary cripple related words and definitions...

Criplomatic Immunity- The status attained by those who are either permanently or temporarily crippled. Since they are going through a terrible period of their lives, they deserve fringe benefits in their daily lives. 

Cripple Cart- A electric wheelchair intended for use by the handicapped, most often seen at supermarkets.

Cripple Fight- a cripple fight is a fight between 2 cripple's is called a cripple fight as used on South Park usually involving the items that help the cripple's live out there lives to some normallity such as a wheelchair or crutches

Cripple Grape- The shriveled up grape found among a bunch of normal grapes.

Cripple Hot- Someone so hot they could cripple you.

Cripple Stick- the blue handicapped parking pass that you hang around your mirror when at walmart.

Cripple Sticks- Crutches. Walking aids such as canes...

Cripple Crapper- Disabled toilets.

Cripple-Copter- Any wheel-chair with aerial capabilities, A flying wheel-chair, When you launch a paraplegic out of a cannon

Crippletastic- A combination of the word cripple and fantastic used to describe great things that cripples do.

Cripster- A crippled hipster. He thinks you'll buy the get-up and grab that sympathy card, but you know those leg braces are just too ironic.

and my personal favorite...

Cripple- A person who has a disability and embraces it, rather than feeling sorry for themselves.

Crippie's Tippie For Those Who Are Offended By This- GET A SENSE OF HUMOR! Seriously, you gotta laugh at the situation sometimes. 

Crippie Has a Tumblr... Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid

What's New Pussycat?

As the title suggests boredom and the inability to sleep has caused me to make a tumblr account. If you all want to see what occupies the rest of my time I suggest you follow me HERE. Chances are I will be posting videos of mini pigs for the rest of the night. I might also post some artwork that I've done on it as well, but for now... MINI PIGS!!!

Crippie's Tippie- Look up mini pigs, THEY ARE SO FRIGGIN CUTE!

Happiness at the Fortune (and Misfortune) of Others

Oh hai!

I had a very interesting day today. First of all, I SOLD MY FIRST CANE! It's really cute actually, a lady that I met at my school for a few minutes bought one for her mother. Now her mother is gonna be stylin' in a bright purple cane with a rainbow pattern I designed! For all the other crippies out there with "normal" canes, go to my new site "Raising Cane" where I sell canes that actually look good!

Today I also had a rather humorous experience. I was walking to drugstore when I heard some teenagers talking. One of them why trying to sound cool and whilst talking to his friends said something like "MAN SHE WAS CRIPPED UP IN THAT CAR YO". About 3 seconds after he says this I walk by, with my crutch and all and his eyes bug out of his head and he darts his eyes away from me as fast as humanly possible. I found this whole encounter extremely hilarious and I LOL'ed once I was a safe distance away from the newly frightened teenager. Partly because I still have no idea what that kid was talking about, mainly because the kid got caught saying something he knows he shouldn't be saying! I wasn't offended by what he said, but I know people that would be. It's moments like that which fill my heart with joy.

Crippie's Tippie- Be cautious when using potentially offensive words, you never know who can hear you.

The Importance of Being Quirky

Oh hai,

I promised good news and good news I shall deliver. A few weeks ago Quirk Classics (they publish books like "Pride, Prejudice,  and Zombies") had a contest for artists to came up with their own book idea and cover. I came up with "The Importance of Being Earnest and a Pirate", and go figure... I'M A RUNNER UP! Check out all of the entries here! Congrats to the winner to the other runners up, Y'ALL ROCK! For good measure, here's my entry.

Now, why I am mentioning this? Apart from the fact that I am uber excited about it, humor has been a way for me to cope with my illness for a very long time. In other words, my disability helped me develop a sense of humor, my sense of humor helped me make a kick-ass entry, and thus my kick ass entry is picked as a runner up! While my crippled-ness causes many problems in my life, the perks make it sooooooooooo much more manageable.

Oh and BTW, if anyone has any legit questions to ask me about being a cripple, post a comment. Chances are I'll answer it.


Crippie's Tippie of the Day- If ya got it... flaunt it.

Pointy- A Tribute

Greetings,

On January 11th I experienced a loss. My favorite tumor, Pointy, was surgically removed from my wrist. I wanted to pay tribute to my favorite lil' tumor with a lil' blog post.

Pointy was a little bad-ass tumor. He liked to be very visible on my wrist and freak people out. He liked being visible with out being painful. I liked that in a tumor. He was my display tumor. When people asked what was wrong with me I showed them Pointy and they got the picture. One day Pointy decided that he needed to spread his wings and he started growing. He grew so much that he could have broken the skin given the opportunity. So I decided to give Pointy the Ol' Yeller treatment and set him free.

(yes, that's actually Pointy) If you're grossed out by that, try living with it in your wrist.

So now I am fully recovered and have a dandy new scar on my wrist, but the memories of Pointy will always remain. Fare well Pointy, I hope you are enjoying annoying the crap out of things in tumor heaven.

Crippie's Tippie of the Day- Naming your tumors and paying tribute to them is an awesome way to freak people out.