2011 Re(handi)cap!

Sorry about the lame pun, IT HAD TO BE DONE!

Before I begin my 2011 update, Emma thanks everyone for the ninja vibes thus far. I see a slight improvement today but it's kinda hard to tell.

On to the recap!

JANUARY

-Crippie had her 10th Surgery 

FEBRUARY

-Crippie started this blog!!! 

MARCH THRU APRIL

-Crippie worked on finishing college

-Crippie briefly became "living impaired" after a chance encounter with some zombies. Crippie was cured a few hours later. Brains are oddly tasty.

-Crippie took a road trip to Yale. Mainly so I could tell people I went to Yale, see the impressed looks on their faces, and then see the disappointed looks when they find out it was only a day-trip

MAY

-Crippie has her senior project exhibit

-Crippie FREAKIN' GRADUATED COLLEGE... MAGNA CUM LAUDE BABY!

JUNE THRU AUGUST

-CRIPPLEFESSSTTTTTTT

SEPTEMBER

-Crippie got a job!

-We adopted Helen! 

OCTOBER

-Crippie got a car! 

NOVEMBER

-ummm... nothing really happened in November

DECEMBER

-Crippie turned 23

-Crippie got a tattoo! 

So that's about it. I seriously want to thank everyone who's been reading this blog, posting comments, etc. it really means a lot to me. Crippie hopes you all have a happy and healthy 2012. CHEERS! 

Crippie's Tippie - The cure for Zombie-ism? It's simple, all you need is to splash the effected person with make-up remover. 

Luck Be A Piggie Tonight

Yo!

I just wanted to say a quick thank you to everyone who has been posting such sweet comments here, y'all are seriously awesome. I'm also glad to see that people are enjoying my pee cup story. Yeah, Crippie has arthritis and tumors in her fingers, so opening jars and bottles is challenging to say the least. Can any of my wonderful readers recommend a jar/bottle opener that works for someone with a stupidly weak grip? I really haven't been able to find any good ones.

Carrying on, today was kinda scary for Crippie and her family. Last night I was taking care of my piggies when I noticed a fair amount of blood in one of the cages. After some examinations I found out the blood was coming from Emma. Upon further inspection I also found a tumor on her tummy. Internet research told me this was reallyyyy not good. The internet said Emma would need surgery. Guinea Pigs and surgery don't always mesh well. So last night Crippie was stressing out to say the least over Emma's possible prognosis. We took Emma to the vet today after I got home from work. Emma was not pleased about the whole prospect of seeing a vet, she told me so by taking a massive wee on me on the ride to the vet. The vet (who looked and acted a little too much like Dr. Cox from "Scrubs") thought Emma either had a bladder stone, an abscess, or a really bad infection in the uterus. ALL of those things require surgery to fix... SUPER. The doctor wanted an x-ray to properly diagnose her. Emma didn't like the idea of an x-ray, she let us know by taking a wee on my mom. Emma was a good girl though and let the vet take x-rays of her. I was getting purdy damn worried as to what the x-rays would show, much to my surprise the x-rays showed that Emma has no serious health issues... YAY EMMA! The vet then concluded that Emma probably has a infection that caused the tumor and the blood, some antibiotics should hopefully take care of the problem. So we have to give Emma cherry flavored anti-biotics for the next week, works for me.

I'm soooooooooooo freakin' happy that Emma doesn't need surgery. Let's just hope that the anti-biotics work. If y'all could send your ninja healing vibes to Emma I'd greatly appreciate it.

Crippie's Tippie- Normals make the best can and jar openers

Emma's Tippie - HAY STICKS ARE FREAKIN' AWESOME... and please keep a watchful eye on your pets so you know when they get sick


P.S. Yes, Crippie is aware that she made two posts in a row related to pee

Crippie Submits To A Random Drug Test!

Ohai!

Crippie certainly had an eventful day today. I had my pain management appointment in the morning. It went better than expected. My doctor opted to not change the dosage of my medicine, but the amount of pills I have. That way if I need more I can use it. I'm very relieved that I didn't need a full out dosage increase. The doctor also recommended that I take extra strength acetaminophen during the day as needed. Also, as the title suggests I had to submit to a random drug test, just to make sure that Crippie isn't a druggie. Funny story about that, the drug test involves peeing in a cup. The nurse gave me a cup with a very secure lid on it and showed me to the bathroom. I go into the bathroom, try to open the cup, and gosh darn it I cannot get the damn cup open (arthritis + stupid cup = lethal combo). So Crippie had to go back to the nurse and ask her to open the pee cup, that wasn't humiliating at alllllll. Once the drug test was completed we continued on to do other errands.
My mom and I went to get some supplies for the pets at a local petco, and while I really do not advise buying any animals from there I couldn't help but snap a few shots of some the little critters they had.

Speaking of cute animals, Frida is in the running to be featured on a site about cute animals. Vote for her HERE. 

Anyway, after we finished running errands I collapsed on the couch for the next few hours. I'd call today a success. I took the extra dose of medicine tonight, let's hope it works.

Crippie's Tippie- If you know that you have issues opening jars, ask the nurse to open your pee cup BEFORE you go into the bathroom. 

Holiday Round-Up!

HAPPY ALMOST NEW YEARS!

I hope all my readers had a lovely Christmahanukwanzika. My Christmas weekend went rather well. Crippie got to sleep in and consequently got enough sleep to have dreams that Voldemort was hiding in my coat closet, I made the family a Christmas brunch (if anyone wants tips on how to make kick-ass eggs... hit Crippie up), and I got to catch up on my video games. 

Since today was the last night of Hanukkah *sob* I present you with the question I asked most often. You would think it is something deep like "what do Jews think of hell" or "Do Jews think Jesus existed?" LOL... no. The question I most often get is... 

"You're a Jew right? Do you like that Adam Sandler Hanukkah song?"

The Answer: THE HANUKKAH SONG IS THE BEST SONG ABOUT HANUKKAH EVER WRITTEN. PERIOD. I mean c'mon "Dreidel Dreidel Dreidel" is cute and all... but it's kinda dumb. Crippie even likes the second and third parts of the song, viewable HERE and HERE.
Off-topic... OMG Adam Sandler looks soooooo young in that video.

Moving on to cripple related business, the weather got really bad again today so my pain levels were once again in the 7-9 range. Sometime during the day I realized that my pain levels have been increasing over the past couple of months. Part of this could be me developing a tolerance to my medication, but part of it is general progression of disease. Literally 10 minutes after coming to this realization my mom texted me saying my appointment with my pain management doctor had to be rescheduled for tomorrow. What luck! I probably need to increase my nighttime meds. I reeeaaallllyyy don't want to do that, but me thinks that's whats gonna happen. On the bright side, I have tomorrow off work so I can relax after the doctor. Doctor visits usually knock me out. Wish Crippie luck!

Jew-ie's Tippie - Stop hatin' on "Eight Crazy Nights". Sure it's dumb and crude... but hey it's a heart warming Hanukkah movie. They're aren't too many of 'em around. 


Crippie's Tippie- Got some spare holiday cash? BUY MY BOOK! Use the code BLIZZARD305 to get 35% off your entire order! Hurry up, this coupon is only good for December 28th! 

Pick A Damn Spelling

Ohaiii

Thanks for all the well wishes, the weather has stabilized and my pain levels have returned to their normal 3.5.
Tonight was the 4th night of Hanukkah. Everyone here is having a jolly ol' time, even the pets. We got treats for Angel, a few outfits for Helen (she's blind so she can't see how ridiculous she looks), and treats for the piggies. It's really hard trying to pick out pressies for the piggies, because you can never really tell what they'll like. We got them little sticks of hay for them to nosh on. 5 out of the 6 piggies loved them, Frida on the hand is deathly afraid of the little stick of hay and will not go anywhere near them *sigh* oh well. Speaking of Frida, she was snuggling with me earlier, listening to her favorite musician "Lady Gaga" and I snapped some freakin' adorable shots. I figured I'd share them with y'all since I'm such the proud mama.

Ain't she just the cutest damn thing ever... even if she's afraid of sticks. Moving on to today's Jew-ey Goodness. One question I hear a LOT is "How do you spell Hanukkah?". There are several acceptable spellings and variations and it took me yeeeeaaaaaaarrrrrrrsssssssssssssssss to finally memorize a damn spelling. I use H-A-N-U-K-K-A-H  because it starts and ends with an H, has 1 N, and 2 K's. I dunno, it just seems easier to remember that way.

Jew-ey's Tippie- Even if you put a C in front of the H, the 1 N/2 K rule still applies. 

Happy Chris... Han... Hol... Whatever

Yo!

I don't know about you guys but the weather has been kicking Crippie's ass for the past few days. I'm not usually one to complain about how much pain I am in... but Crippie is having a flair up and is thus not a happy camper. I'd probably rate today and yesterday as a 9 on the pain scale (for reference I put having a tattoo on my ribcage as an 8 with my normal pain level around 4). Everything below my skull is hurting. Not cool body... not cool. Yeah, Crippie spent the past several nights setting Sims on fire to feel better.

Moving on to the Jew-ey goodness! The question that I am most frequently asked is "What do you think about the 'War on Christmas'?" Maybe it's the pain talking... but I feel that a Crippie Rant is the only way to properly answer this question...

<CrippieRant>
Dear people in the majority... STFU YOU ARE IN THE MAJORITY! There is no great conspiracy to get rid of Christmas, there is no one telling you that you cannot celebrate Christmas. Do you think that the Jews, Muslims, Hindus, etc all meet every Wednesday and discuss how to overthrow your religion? Pul-lease... we meet every other Saturday for brunch and discuss 90's Nickelodeon shows. Stop being offended when a store greeter says "Happy Holidays", it's all encompassing. Just keep in mind that just because you are the majority that doesn't mean that your holiday is the only holiday that people celebrate. Keep your Christ in Christmas... but ya know being loving and tolerant of other religions could be another way to keep Christ in Christmas ;)


The only thing I'm gonna agree with you guys with is that sometimes people try toooooo hard to be PC and all encompassing. There is no such thing as a "Holiday Tree"and "Hanukkah Harry" is borderline offensive depending on the costume. 
</CrippieRant>

Agree? Disagree? Let Crippie know in the comment section!

On a completely un-rant related Jew topic... my Grandma is making Latkes tonight... I'm really looking forward to them.

Jew-ie's Tippie- Latkes are awesome and should be embraced by everyone this Holiday season. And seriously, there is nothing wrong with saying "Happy Holidays" 

Put On Your Yarmulke...

Shalom!

I hope all of my wonderful readers had a wonderful weekend and Monday. I worked on Saturday and did some last minute Hanukkah shopping. On Sunday I went to a family holiday party and had a lovely time, I had a lot of noms and I met a turtle. So I would say my weekend was rather fun.
It was a refreshing change because mid-Decembers have really sucked for my family for past few years. My maternal Grandfather died on December 18th 2007 and my paternal Grandfather died on December 19th 2009, RIP Grumpy & PopPop, love ya lots. Yeah, and this year we're coping with our Aunt's recent passing. Death sucks. It's hard to deal with but I have a feeling that they are watching over us. Spending time with the family definitely helps ease the sadness.
Moving on to happier topics... IT'S ALMOST HANUKKAH!!! I love when Hanukkah falls around this time of year, it starts before and ends after Christmas :D. I figured since it's the Holiday season I'd answer "Jew-ie" questions for the next few days. So if anyone has any question for me, bring 'em on. I'll ease in to this whole "Jew" topic with a Crippie/Jew-ie crossover question... "Which do you find more offensive, Cripple jokes or Jew jokes?"

Honestly it all depends on the joke, I find lighthearted cripple and jew jokes heilarious. Anne Frankly, as long as the joke isn't terribly mean spirited I don't care. There is a line though, once you start implying that disabled people are lesser individuals or unwanted I take offense. As for Jew jokes I can take the "cheap" jokes pretty well (mainly cause I am really freakin' cheap) same with any other stereotype based joke. Holocaust jokes are another story though. Clearly I have no problem with lame puns, Nazi, and Hitler jokes but a line is crossed when you start making jokes about the Jews or the camps. Those camps represent the absolute worst of man, there's really nothing humorous about them. So I guess I would say I find really bad Jew jokes more offensive than really bad Cripple jokes.

Jew-ie's Tippie - Unless you pretty damn sure that no one in your general area won't be offended... keep the jokes to yourself or to the internet. Chances are your joke will be considered funny on the internet. 

Drumroll Please...

It's Friday, Friday gotta give away a shirt on Friday!

First off, thanks to all three eligible entries. I wish I had enough shirts to give to all three of you.
I used a random number generator to pick a winner. Since each person asked a question they were given two votes. For example comment 1 was given numbers 1 and 4.
Soooo congratulations to....

CONGRATULATIONS LIZZIE!!!!

I'll be contacting you with more details! YAY LIZZIE!!! 

Crippie's Tippie- Entering contests on blogs is a decent way to obtain free things, depending on the size of the blog of course.

Pivotal Crippie Moments

Ohai!

LAST CHANCE TO ENTER MUH CONTEST PEOPLE

Alrighty, recently I was asked "Besides when you were diagnosed with MHE (and the surgeries that resulted from having MHE), what would be one of your biggest pivotal moments in life (or life-changing so-to-speak)?" 


While I've posted about things that changed my life a while ago, I saw this as a challenge to think of a pivotal moment in my life not related to having a disability. CHALLENGE ACCEPTED *Starts limping/pacing back and forth*. 


Hmm... it seems that most of my pivotal moments involve having a disability in someway or another. *Continues pacing/limping*


20 MINUTES LATER (I'm not kidding) EUREKA! The biggest non-cripple related life changing moment (or moments) was when I was around 2 years old. My mom needed a way to keep my occupied during laundry time so she put paper on the walls and let me color away. First off, no I didn't color on walls without paper, I was a good noodle. Secondly, it taught me that art is freakin' awesome! Early love of art continued to grow and eventually led to my chosen profession! w00t! CHALLENGE COMPLETED!!!


Crippie's Tippie- Enter my contest, this shirt really is freakin' awesome.

The Big D

Sup Everybody?

ENTER TO WIN MY REALLY AWESOMELY DESIGNED T-SHIRT HERE!!!!

I just finished cleaning the guinea pigs cages (they say hi btw), figured I'd get a quick blog post in before bed. I just checked my comment section and saw that someone asked me about my opinion on filing for disability. I've never filed for disability, but I probs will if I ever need to have major surgery again (btw, thanks Aflac for not covering pre-existing conditions... go duck yourselves).

Filing for disability is not something to be taken lightly. You don't get a whole lot of money and if you have health insurance you could lose benefits. I see filing for disability as an absolute last resort. My advice to anyone with a disability is to (as unfortunate as this sounds) plan your career around your disability. I have chronic pain and fatigue, thus I chose a career that involves sitting at a desk all day. Have social anxiety? Plan something that doesn't involve a whole lot of social interaction. Naturally you should pick something that you love to do but you really have to take your disability into consideration. I know this sounds really harsh but we have to be realistic. We also have to do our best to keep our symptoms at bay. I regularly see my pain management doctor to keep my pain levels at a tolerable amount. Of course everyone's situation is different. If you are really, really sick and cannot make enough money to support by all means file away. To summarize on the original question on whether or not it is a "good idea" to file for disability or not, if you have exhausted all other options, if you cannot function even when you are being properly treated, then filing would not be a bad idea.

Crippie's Tippie- If your disability doesn't always render you useless, I suggest seeing if your state has services that help cripples get employment. They can help you find some form of work that can be more accommodating to your needs. Crippie used this place to help her find employment.

Crippie's Bloggie Tips!

Ohai

ENTER MY CONTEST PEOPLES!!! You have till Friday!

Moving on, people have been asking me for blogging advice recently. So without further adieu I give you

CRIPPIE ANSWERS BLOGGING RELATED QUESTIONS!!!

1) Why did you start blogging?

I started blogging because it was a homework assignment. Crippie was taking a social media course and having a blog was actually a requirement. I rather enjoyed the whole blogging experience so I decided to keep the blog going even though I am no longer being graded for it (btw, I got an A for the blog).

2) Do you ever get any negative feedback, if so how do you deal with it?

Luckily I've never had any real negative feedback or comments on this blog. I get the occasional spam comment which I delete. Generally speaking negative commenters are trolls, and you never ever feed a troll. Just let the comment be. 

3) Do looks matter?

As a graphic designer of course I am going to say that having a pretty blog does make a difference. Seriously though, having a properly designed blog makes you look more legit and it sets you apart from other bloggers. 

4) Any tips to boost viewership?

I get a fair amount of traffic from social networking sites for bloggers like bloggers.com and 20sb.net. I also get traffic by participating in events like blog hops and NHBPM. I've also found that consistently labeling my posts makes it easier for people using google to find me. 

Crippie's Tippie- Remember, blogging "success" takes time and a fair amount of effort. 

CRIPPIE GIVEAWAY!

OMG!!!!

A couple of weeks ago Crippie was contacted by the wonderful people at ooshirts.com. They asked me if I could design a shirt and then write a review about the whole process. Btw, if anyone thinks Crippie is selling out with this... I've donated blood just to get a free t-shirt.

Before I begin my review let it be known that I am a graphic designer with experience in screen printing. I also have experience with setting up cafepress shops and designing shirts with other companies. Also, my mother and grandmother used to work in the garment industry (my mom used to do color separations and my grandmother was an art director). So Crippie knows what she is talking about here ;)

The Process- First I went to their website and picked out a t-shirt and color. They had a whole lotta options as far shirt selections go. I opted for the "Canvas Unisex Tee" because it had some shnazzy colors and the fit was on the longer side. Then I designed my shirt. I used Adobe Illustrator to make my design and I uploaded EPS files.

Next I put the designs on my selected shirt. This whole process was super easy and I was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo happy about how big my design could be. When I did projects like this before the space was so limiting and my designs would look tiny and crappy. The colors of the design on the screen were not true to color. This is probably my computer screen's fault. I added the pantone colors of my design in a special note section just to be on the safe side. 

I love how they "idiot proofed" the whole designing process. Ooshirts has services to make sure your colors are correct, that your background is transparent (if you want it to be), if you want your shirt to have a "vintage" effect, etc. I found the overall design process very pleasant and super simple.

Pricing - Ooshirts.com prides itself on being an affordable option for custom shirts. I did some price quotes for other sites, and Ooshirts actually was a cheaper option. Not a whooollleeee lot cheaper than some other places, but cheaper nonetheless.

Ordering - Placing the order was, again, super simple. My order was checked over by their designers, who gave it the OK to print. Within a few days I had my shnazzy new shirts! 

The end results - Once my shirts arrived I was very pleased. The shirt is self is very soft and snuggly. The colors of the ink look pretty close to the colors on the design I submitted. I showed the shirt to my mother and grandmother who found no real flaws in the screening process. The shirt has also survived several washes in the laundry with no cracks or fading! The one downside I found was that the color of the shirt is waaayyy different than the color on the website. 

Do you want to win a "Holy Crip it's a Crapple" T-Shirt?

Here's the rules for entering the contest!

-Enter the contest by posting a comment below with your email address so I can contact you

- 1 bonus entry for people who post a question for Crippie with their comment

- The lucky winner will be chosen at random via random number generator

-The winner will be picked on Friday, December 16th

- Crippie's relatives may NOT enter this contest. Want a shirt guys? You're gonna have to wait for Hanukkah

(For reference, the shirt is a large, but hey a free shirt is a free shirt)

Crippie's Tippie- ENTER MY CONTEST!!! And ooshirts.com is pretty damn awesome, thanks guys! 

On Bullies & Being Bullied

Hey Y'all

I figured I'd discuss a "hot button" issue tonight... bullying. Bullying has definitely been a hot topic issue for the past few months and rightfully so. It's become an issue because we allowed it to happen. Damn near all of us have been bullied at one point or another, so we are used to it and numb to it. We don't always see how bad bullying can get, especially with the onset of social media, and kids are paying the ultimate price of it. I figure I might as well share my experience with bullying.
When I was in Elementary School I was mainly teased for being slow in gym. It wasn't anything Earth shattering but it made me hate gym. Most of my experiences with teasing stem from Middle School. I was teased because I had "bad hair", "bad clothes", and the whole "cripple" thing. I got the occasional snarky comment and some genius tried to trip me once. Most of the people I knew opted to shun me for some reason or another, mainly because I was very sick in Middle School and the little normals couldn't deal with it. In hindsight most of what I went through wasn't terrible but it had a profound effect on my life regardless. When people stopped talking to me I stopped talking to them. I became socially awkward. This was the point when I started missing milestones. To this day I am what some might consider "socially retarded". I don't look people in the eye and I am insanely quiet. I pretty much useless in social situations with people I don't know, I just sit in the corner and keep to myself. So yeah, I have deep seeded feelings that being sick and stupid little normals ruined my childhood. I'm trying to "get over" all that stuff, it's a process but I feel I'm making improvements.
In High School I figured that bullies are just assholes and should be treated as such. Whenever someone would try to say something rude to me or to my friends I would critique their form and lack of originality. I recall one time when I was senior some little twerp was trying to say something rude to me (I think he was calling me a bitch, I don't remember) and I responded with a simple "You're a sophomore... why the hell are you even talking to me?". It shut him up.

So what can we do about this? Here's a special edition of Crippie's Tippie!

Crippie's Tippie for kids being bullied- 
-Remember that bullies are assholes, you cannot let them have any power over you
-Be a wise ass right back to them, SHOW NO FEAR
-What goes around comes around. I recently found some of my old tormentors on facebook, they now lead lonely miserable lives! 
-People tease others to feel better about themselves, chances are the bully has issues
-Remember that Middle School sucks for everyone. 
-The whole "it gets better" thing is true. What happens in Middle School and High School is so insignificant in the long run.
-Please do not harm yourself or anyone else. If your bullying situation is that bad that you feel you need to do one of those things, please tell an adult. There is someone out there who can help you.


Crippie's Tippie for kids who pick on other kids to make themselves feel better-
-Grow the hell up, seriously
-R-E-S-P-E-C-T find out what means in general


Crippie's Tippie for Parents
-Teach your children to respect everyone
-Your child is not perfect, if you find out your kid is bullying others... PUNISH THEM. Let them know that what they are doing is beyond horrible and cannot be tolerated. 
-If your child is being bullied remember that it might not seem like a huge issue, but to a pre-teen EVERYTHING IS A HUGE ISSUE
-Remember that its not "just" bullying, it can have very severe consequences.


What do you guys think about the bullying issue? What should we do about it? Feel free to post your opinion in the comment section.

Working With A Disability- Day 90

Yo!

How are all my lovely readers today? I was a little achy today with all the weather changes. My tattoo is healing very nicely. It's getting less sore as time progresses. I can now touch it without it hurting too badly.
Now, as the title of today's post suggests I have officially been employed for 90 days (at least according to  the people that try to get cripples hired). I get to start discussing benefits soon, OBOI. I do wonder if my disability will come in to play that, reckon I'll found out soon enough. So far my job experience has been pretty good. I think I'm doing a good job and as far as I am aware I haven't made any mortal enemies! No one has asked why I walk I with a cane, me thinks they just assume Crippie was in a bad car wreck. It doesn't seem like a big elephant in the room or anything, me thinks no one really cares why I am a cripple, I just am.
On to a more important anniversary. Today marks the 3rd anniversary of when we adopted two of our guinea pigs, Emma and Nellie. They started out as scared little baby piggies, now they are very content, well fed piggies.

Nellie

Emma

All of the pigs celebrated with oodles of hay and blueberries, followed by some pretty adorable food comas. It's hard to believe that we've had them for three years. *Sniff sniff* They grow up so fast. 

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY EMMA & NELLIE... MOMMY LOVES YOU! 

Crippie's Tippie- Check your weekly forecast so you can prepare yourself for weather changes.

Crippie Got Inked!

Hi Everybody!

Crippie is 23!!! I feel older already, my hip popped when I tried to get up this morning. Crippie had a very fun filled weekend. My former roomie can to visit for the weekend. We watched Harry Potter (DOBBY... NOOOOOOOOO), some Holocaust movies (*insert name of protagonist* NOOOOOOOO), several episodes of "Hey Arnold" (ARNOLD'S PARENTS... NOOOOOOOO), several episodes of "Rugrats" (CHUCKIE'S MOM... NOOOOOOOOO) and... um... WE GOT FREAKIN' TATTOOS.
We got matching tattoos of a swan by one of my favorite illustrators, Charley Harper. I opted to get my tattoo on my ribcage area, yup one of the more painful areas to get tattoos. I was fully expecting it to be hella painful. Ultimately I would give getting a small-ish tattoo on your ribcage a 7-8 on the pain scale (for reference I put myself on a 3-4 on the pain scale normally). As promised... PICTURES!

Inspiration for the tattoo

Crappy Picture of Tattoo

Slightly Better Picture

I'll post better pictures once it actually heals. The whole getting a tattoo experience was oddly fun. My tattoo artist, who kept talking like "Big Gay Al" renamed my condition "Bonyitis", which I might have to steal. We also sang "Puttin' on the Ritz" and discussed the ending to "The Black Swan". So yeah, my weekend was purdy damn awesome. 

Crippie's Tippie- If possible bring a squishy toy for your tattoo session. It's definitely helps with whatever pain you might be in.

Well... Now What?

Happy December!

After 30 days of having prompts I have to get used to coming up with my own topics again! I figured I'd jus do a quick Crippie update on everything that's goin' on my life since I really haven't posted about it in a month.
Work- Work is going pretty well. I'm working between 30-60 hours a week at the moment. While it is very tiring thankfully that tiredness doesn't kick in until after I've driven home. Once I get home I have enough energy to play with the pets and eat dinner, that's about it.
Driving- Having a set of wheels is purdy damn awesome. I'm having fewer driving related anxiety attacks, which is good. Although I'm having more anxiety about running out of gas (I'm not quite comfortable with driving to the gas station by myself yet), but that will go away eventually.
Arthritis- As far I'm aware my arthritis hasn't been causing any issues. My hips are ok and I can move my fingers for the time being. Not bad considering I'm on a lesser dose of anti-inflammatory drugs.
MHE- My MHE hasn't been terrible. There are some tumors in my ribcage that have been catching on things recently... not cool. It's not the worst rib flare-up I've had so I really can't complain.

I do have a plan of revenge for my stupid freakin' ribcage. Sunday is Crippie's birthday (23... YAY ME). Crippie's college roomie is coming out for the weekend and we are both getting tattoos. Guess where I'm getting mine... yup, ribcage. That'll show those stupid tumors that I don't care if they catch on something or not. I'll post more about that on Monday (with pictures, no worries).

So that's about it, definitely have some interesting stuff going on right now :).  

Crippie's Tippie- Heating blankets work wonders when the winter achies come around.

NHBPM- DONE!

*Gives virtual cookies and skittles out*

It's November 30th and you know what that means... NATIONAL HEALTH BLOG POST MONTH IS OVER! DONE! The final prompt is... Play that horn. Want to hear a secret? You’re awesome. (It’s actually not even really a secret.) This is going to be hard for you, O Modest One, but you gotta give yourself props today. Write three things you love about yourself – things you’re great at – or just want to share. Don’t you dare signpost or undercut those self-compliments!

Anyone who actually knows me knows that I'm not terribly modest... if I do something awesome I let people know. So... I COMPLETED THE 30 CHALLENGE, YAY ME! Granted a missed the first day but I was allowed a post skip day. 

Now, about that actual list of things Crippie is awesome at... 

-Crippie is very, very good at rises to challenges. Senior thesis in 4 months instead of 8, DONE. Perfect attendance in high school and college, CHECK. Graduate Magna Cum Laude, CHALLENGE COMPLETED. 30 blog posts in 30 days, FREAKIN' DONE!!!!

-Crippie is an awesome graphic designer. Hey, I spent like, 30 seconds kerning that little "BOO YA" thing above (kerning is adjusting the space between the letters FYI).

-Crippie is apparently an animal whisperer. I dunno, I feel like I "know" what my guinea pigs and puppies want/think and I speak for them often. (Helen is sitting next to me BTW, she says "I AM TRYING TO SLEEP... STOP ASKING ME WHAT I WANT TO TELL YOUR READERS!").

I could go on but alas, the prompt said three things ;) 

OMG... I just noticed this is my 100th post! Kinda fitting ain't it? 

Crippie's Tippie- I've said it before and I'll say it again, celebrate all the victories in your life. I might be tired and in a fair amount of pain... BUT I COMPLETED THE 30 DAY CHALLENGE!!!!! BOOM!

This post was written as part of NHBPM – 30 health posts in 30 days: http://bit.ly/vU0g9J 

NHBPM- You're Such A Card

Salutations! 

ONE MORE NHBPM POST TO GO... w00000000000000000000000t. Today's prompt is super special, I hope you all enjoy it. Greeting card post! The greeting card industry is all about writing generally universal feelings in a presentable way that you can use to express yourself when you just can’t think of the words to say. Write a greeting card for someone in your community to help them express themselves about a new diagnosis, treatment, or experience.

Now, Crippie has been making greeting cards for over 10 years... so when I saw this I opted to literally make a quarter fold card that you can print out! OBOI! 

Whenever something really craptacular happens, people never really know what to say to you. I figured I'd make a card that pretty much says what the giver is thinking without too much flowery crap! All you have to do is click on the image and save it to your computer! 

Shnazzy ain't it? I can't believe National Health Blog Post Month is almost over. I'm gonna try to keep up with this whole posting every day thing, it's fun. I'm also planning a giveaway or two... that's right... OR TWO! If anyone has any questions for me to answer... post 'em in the comment section. Chances are I'll answer 'em. Hey, Crippie needs material to blog about ;)

BTW, if anyone has any problems with the card, let me know so I can fix it. Thanks a bunch! 

Crippie's Tippie- Making cards is surprisingly easy. I use Adobe Illustrator but there are tons of programs out there for you to make 'em yourself. 

This post was written as part of NHBPM – 30 health posts in 30 days: http://bit.ly/vU0g9J 

NHBPM- Say Whhhhaaaaaaaaaaa

'Ello!

Over 5,000 blog views... HOLY MOLY! You guys are seriously awesome.
It looks like the last three blog prompts are gonna be very entertaining. Today's prompt is... Say WHAT?! What’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve heard about health or your condition. Was there any context? What did you think at the time you heard it – and what do you think of it now?
I've heard some dandy things about my condition. I've been asked if my condition is a form of dwarfism (I'm 5' 3" btw), I've been asked if I am dying, I've been asked if I'm sterile (which was realllyyyy creeeeeppppppyyyyyyyyyy), but today I'm gonna focus on one of my most "LOL-worthy" conversations
The Context- I am in my apartment, on campus in college. One of my roommates is about to go out with her friends. One of her friends is a douche-bag. He is a an annoying little twerp who acts like he is God's gift to mankind. He also likes to pretend that he knows everything. He notices my cane and asks me why I walk with it. The conversation goes as follows...
Crippie- I have a genetic disorder
Douche-Bag- Oh? Which one?
Crippie- Multiple Hereditary Exostoses 
Douche-Bag- I've heard of that
Crippie- How the hell have you heard of it?
Douche-Bag- My mom's a nurse, I know these things. It's related to Cystic Fibrosis.
Crippie- No it's not. Cystic Fibrosis is completely unrelated to what I have. MHE has to do with bones, CF mainly has to do with mucus membranes.
Douche-Bag- No, they're related
Crippie- NO THEY ARE NOT
Douche-Bag- Yes they are
Crippie- NO THEY ARE NOT
Douche-Bag- My mom's a nurse, I know these things
Crippie- I've had this disease for over 20 years... I know these things more! 
Douche-Bag- So... how do they treat it? Chemotherapy? 
Crippie- Ummm... nooooooo. That's chondrosarcoma, bone cancer. Not a genetic disorder. I thought you knew all about my illness?

The douche-bag continued to try to "out-cripple" me by showing me his nerve damaged finger. I then told him both my legs have severe damage and RSD. He then said "I feel sorry for you" and then left. Dick. General rule of thumb normals, don't try to out cripple a cripple. You will not win. We will laugh at you once you leave. Also general rule of thumb, don't say "I feel sorry for you" say "I'm sorry you have to go through that" something that doesn't evoke real pity. What did I think at the time I heard it? Well, once the Douche-Bag left me and my other roomies were basically like "WTF?!?!?!?!" I was pretty impressed at my ability to out-cripple him and call him out on his BS! What do I think of it now? Looking back on it I think "Lulz... douche-bag".

Crippie's Tippie- If you want to ask a cripple about their illness, be polite and don't be a wise ass.


This post was written as part of NHBPM – 30 health posts in 30 days: http://bit.ly/vU0g9J 

NHBPM- Crippie Quote-ie

Yo!

I finally made an official Facebook Page for Crippie's Corner! The other page I have is technically for my graphic design stuff and I figured it was time to separate the two, although I still am going to send blog updates to my "wynning designs" page too.
I can see the light at the end of the National Health Blog Post Month! If only I could fully understand tonight's prompt... Quote Unquote. Grab a quote from this site (type in any word – see what comes up!) and use that quote to set you writing.
Seems like an easy prompt, right? NO! I tried typing in words like "cripple", "tumor", and other various disability words I came up with blog entries from other readers. I also tried words like "nachos", "llama", "weasel", and various other stupid words because I am an "internet female" and it's what we do. So it's not like I'm willingly ignoring a prompt... it's just that I fail at it.
To make up for my failure I'll discuss one of my all time favorite cripple quotes. It was told to me by a fellow cripple years ago and it really changed my opinion on being a cripple.

We are zebras, we must revel in our differences.

I love this quote for several reasons. The whole referring to cripple as a zebra thing is great, because zebras are freakin' awesome. They're like horses... BUT PRETTIER!!!! Sure, I might be different because I'm a cripple, but that's not a bad thing. It's something to embrace and be proud of. Sure, my arms and legs are kinda crooked, my fingers and toes are a little weird, I'm slightly shorter than what I should've been, whatever... it makes me unique. It sets me apart from everyone else, and being different from everyone else is a wonderful thing! 

Crippie has a really random question for her wonderful readers... know any good ways to painlessly untangle hair? My hair is super curly and frizzy and has recently decided to start locking together. I don't think dread locs are good look for me. I could cut the really stupid areas out, but I have issues cutting my hair really short (bad memories). Any tips readers? And yes, my hair looks like this whenever I brush it. 

Crippie's Tippie- Wanna buy my book? Use the code CYBERMONDAY to get 30% OFF... TODAY ONLY!!! 

This post was written as part of NHBPM – 30 health posts in 30 days: http://bit.ly/vU0g9J 

NHBPM- Crippie Remembers The Good Ol' Days

Ohai!

Soooo close to finishing NHBPM... I can almost see the finish line! Today's topic seems entertaining... I still remember... Free write a post that starts with the line “I still remember...”


Alrighty, Crippie is about to go into 90's kid mode... prepare yourselves folks.
<StartCrippieRant>
I still remember when Nickelodeon had good television shows on it. None of this "Penguins of Madagascar" or "iCarly" crap. In my day there were shows like "Rugrats", "Hey Arnold", "As Told By Ginger" that actually taught kids to be nice. IMAGINE THE THOUGHT! I still remember when the cartoons had actual morals and lessons. Now a days all the shows have back-sassing brat characters with dumb ass parents. Seriously, I think today's television shows help contribute to the nation's bullying epidemic. They teach kids to disrespect their elders and each other. I still remember when TV shows either had the bully get what was coming to them (Rugrats) or showed that the bully was living in a less than ideal situation (Hey Arnold). Now it seems like attitude is the main focus of the character versa heart. I mean Spongebob is still an awesome show, but it's gettin' up there in age. "Fairly Odd Parents" isn't a terrible show, but Timmy Turner should've been taken away by CPS years ago. This all applies to the Disney channel too. Don't get me started on Hannah Montana. 
To summarize, I still remember when children's television shows were still worth watching.
</Rant>
Lolz, I don't have any negativity towards Nickelodeon at all ;).

Crippie's Tippie- The entire series of Hey Arnold as well as other awesome Nick shows are available on www.netflix.com 


This post was written as part of NHBPM – 30 health posts in 30 days: http://bit.ly/vU0g9J 

NHBPM- Never Have I Ever

It's Black Friday, Friday, gotta make fun of Rebecca Black on Friday!

I seriously hope none of my readers were trampled in any way, shape or form today! Crippie had a wonderful time with her Jersey relatives and enjoyed a rather nomerful turkey.
Let's carry on to today's NHBPM post shall we (ONLY A FEW MORE LEFT... W00T) today's prompt is... Never Have I Ever. You stick to your guns – now tell us about what. What is something you’ve never done but want to. What’s something you’ve never done and won’t budge on?


Okie dokie...
Something I've never done but want to- Travel outside of the US. Crippie's gone on a few vacations in her lifetime but all of them have been in the US. I would love to go to the following places:
1) Norway- to visit my Norwegians
2) Ireland- I wanna walk around Ireland with an Irish accent and see if anyone will call me out on it.
3) Holland- As "not fun" as this sounds I want to go on a tour of various sites from WWII, Anne Frank's house is on the top of that list. I also want to pay my respects at some of the concentration camps across Europe.
4) Egypt- I've always enjoyed mummies, I'd love to see all the famous Pharaohs in the museum in Cairo

Yeah, Crippie is a bit of a history buff.

Now, Something I've never done and have no intentions of ever doing- I have never gotten wasted/drunk. Apart from the fact that I can't drink with my medication, I was told that a hangover feels like waking up from a surgery. I hate the feeling of waking up from a surgery so I have no intention of willingly doing that to myself. I hate the taste of alcohol. Relatives give me alcohol to sip to see my "alcohol face" which, if you can picture it, is like a lemon face times 10. It just tastes like nail polish to me. If ever I do drink alcohol I don't let myself get beyond the buzzed point. Yeah, Crippie really doesn't approve of alcohol. I won't judge ya if you drink responsibly every once in a while, but if you go out and get wasted every other night... Crippie isn't terribly fond of that.

Crippie's Tippie- Doing any holiday shopping? Don't forget to use www.goodshop.com to donate money to the charity of your choice. 


ALSO if you want to buy Crippie's BOOK use the code BUYMYBOOK305 to get 25% off your order through 
December 15th!


This post was written as part of NHBPM – 30 health posts in 30 days: http://bit.ly/vU0g9J 

NHBPM- Tommy Tumor

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!


I figured I'd start this out post out with my favorite Thanksgiving song (apart from Alice's Restaurant, but no one would stay on my screen for 20 minutes to hear it). Crippie wishes all of her readers a happy and healthy holiday. I'll spending the holiday with some of my relatives in New Jersey, OBOI.
I find it a little weird that today's blog prompt has nothing to do with Thanksgiving at all, but it's still very enjoyable nonetheless. My Mascot! Give your condition, community, or self a mascot. Who is it? What do they represent? What is their battle cry?


True story, Crippie made a mascot for her condition yeaaaaaaarrrrssssssss ago. I was making a comic for a magazine that www.mheandme.com releases every couple of months and I created a character named...

Who is it- Tommy Tumor is a fun loving tumor that always manages to have part of it's tumor self chopped off in one way or another. Technically he is a malformed bone with tumors on it.

What does it represent- *tries to sound like an artist who knows what they are talking about* Tommy Tumor is a lighthearted metaphor for for someone with MHE who has to have what seem like constant surgeries to remove their tumors. 

What is their battle cry- See the video below...

There ya have it folks. My diseases mascot is a tumor that sings the "I'm a Tumor Song". I'm so deep and metaphorical, it blows my mind sometimes.

Crippie's Tippie- Enjoy your Thanksgiving and remember to be thankful for EVERYTHING you have! 

Tommy's Tippie- IMMA TUMOR IMMA TUMOR IMMA TUMOR IMMA TUMOR IMMA TUMOR... OH OH OH IMMA TUMOR! 

This post was written as part of NHBPM – 30 health posts in 30 days: http://bit.ly/vU0g9J 

NHBPM- Cripple Etiquette

Ohai Everyone!

I hope everyone enjoyed their day before Thanksgiving. I got off work early so I throughly enjoyed my day. Today's blog prompt looks awesome, and by that I mean I can do whatever I want with saying something like "IMMA REBEL" before doing so. Today's prompt is... Health Activist Choice. Write about whatever you want! Swwweeeeeeeetttt. Several normals have approached Crippie and asked various etiquette questions, so without further adieu I give you...

If the cripple is a stranger...

DON'T- Stare at them, it's really annoying

DO- If you're gonna stare at 'em you might as well just ask why said person is a cripple

DON'T- Make cripple jokes, you will look like an asshole

DON'T- Ask the cripple (or cripple's caregiver) if said cripple is dying or what their life expectancy is. If you really must know, GOOGLE IT. And yes, someone asked if I was dying once.

DO- If you see a cripple clearly struggling with something, offer to help. 

If the cripple is your friend

DON'T- Make cripple jokes unless the cripple makes them first. Not all cripples like joking about their situation

DO- Remember that cripple friends can't always do the same things as normal friends

DO- Offer your cripple friend help only when they ask for it or if you see them clearly struggling. It's not that we don't appreciate the help, it's just that we like to do things on own whenever possible.

So there ya have it folks, a basic guide for the normals! BTW normals, if I am offending any of you by calling you "normals" please let me know. If you have any other ideas for nicknames for normal people please post in the comment section. I was thinking of calling them "muggles" but I sadly I don't think it quite applies. 

Crippie's Tippie- At the end of the day just remember that cripples are "special normals". 

This post was written as part of NHBPM – 30 health posts in 30 days: http://bit.ly/vU0g9J