Monday, October 31, 2011

Happy Halloween!


Mother Nature has not been kind to me lately, first the earthquake, then Hurricane Irene, and now this stupid snow storm. Apart from being very achy from the changing weather, three of Crippie's trees fell down as well as some giant ass branches. Not cool Mother Nature... not cool.

Anyway, I figured since my achy-ness is keeping me up tonight I would make a list of fun Halloween costumes for cripples.
1- Dr. House- All you need a pair of jeans, blazer, t-shirt, and bitchin' cane. You get bonus points if you keep poppin' candies into your mouth all night and go around telling people "IT'S NOT LUPUS".
2- Joe Swanson (Family Guy)- If you're in a wheelchair this costume is super easy, grey t-shirt and jeans, maybe a cop uniform. You have to scream a lot though.
3- Timmy or Jimmy (South Park)- Depending on your level of crippleness you can go as a cripple from South Park. Only thing with Timmy is that you are morally obliged to say the word "TIMMAY" every time you speak, and Jimmy has to stutter and say "I mean, c'mon" (I'm planning on being Jimmy next year).
4- Handicap Parking Permit- Make a giant handicap parking permit and hang it around your neck... BOOM
5- Roller Skate- If you're in a wheelchair you can just wear a shirt with laces on it
6- Any wizard that uses a magical staff- Wear a robe and pointy hat (unless you're Luscious Malfoy)

I usually do cripple related Halloween costumes, cause let's face it, THEY ARE AWESOME.

The picture to your left would be me 4 Halloweens ago. I went as Dr. House. I entered a costume contest, popped candy vicodins while everyone was voting, and placed third. I was rather pleased.

People have asked me if I thought costumes involving cripples are offensive and I can honestly say no. If it is a cripple using their crippledness to make their costume funnier and more ironic... go cripple. If a normal person is dress up like Timmy I see it as "awe they wanna be cripples too <3". So either way it's a win/win.

Crippie's Tippie- Bonus perk of being a cripple on Halloween, if some punks are trying to annoy you chances are your wheelchair, crutches, cane, whatever will do nicely to scare them off.  


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