Sunday, August 28, 2011

Goodnight Irene


I don't exactly have power so I'm gonna make this short and sweet. Yup, my town was sorta in hurricane Irene's path. While my house isn't flooded (thankfully) we did lose a giant tree on our property and it took out all the power wires. So it looks like I'll be without power for a few days. Luckily no one in my house, animals included was injured.

The piggies enjoying their tight hurricane quarters

Crippie's Tippie- Before a major storm invest in some thermacare heat packs. In the event that you lose power, one of the puppies can stay warm for over 10 hours.

Thursday, August 25, 2011


Howdy Y'all

Yes it is true, I SURVIVED THE GREAT NEW YORK EARTHQUAKE! I hope you all enjoy my incredible story about my struggle for survival during the natural disaster.
I was at home, minding my own business, just sitting on the couch when all of the sudden I notice that the couch is vibrating. My crippie survival instincts kicked in and I thought "Gee, this is weird, the couch is vibrating, I guess the washing machine is acting up". I bravely stayed on that couch for an additional 10 seconds and then I realized that the ceiling fan was also shaking. It was then I realized "hmm, that's weird, everything is still shaking". I courageously continued to sit on that sofa for an incredible 15 seconds until the shaking stopped. It was a shocking 30 minutes after that when I realized "HOLY CRAP I JUST EXPERIENCED AN EARTHQUAKE... YAY ME". 
In other words I was pretty damn oblivious during the whole thing. There was no damage to the house, all of the pets were unharmed and unfazed by the situation (more than half of them slept through it). I have decided to call the "great NY quake" by a more fitting "cripplequake", cause let's face it people... it was purdy weak. 
While cripplequake was really weak, I think it caused me a fair amount of weather related pain. My hip has been in really bad shape for the past few days. Like, its really painful for me to walk unaided bad. On the morning of cripplequake pain in my hip had literally rendered me completely useless. That's why I was sitting on the couch during said quake, cause I was in too much pain to do anything else. Me thinks the pending hurricane is also causing me much discomfort. So yeah, I am not a happy camper with this weather. 
This hip pain has really been kicking in me the butt. I'm crossing my fingers that it is weather related pain not "giant tumor in your hip is growing" pain. If it's the second there might be another huge surgery on the horizon... craptacular. 

Crippie's Question For People With Hip Pain- What do you do to alleviate it? Do exercises help? Vitamins? Acupuncture? Anything? If you have an answer post your answer in the comment section *puppy does eyes*

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

These Shews Rule!


Yes, that "Kelly" song will never, ever go away. I hope everyone had an awesome weekend and Monday. My weekend went relatively well. I got a fair amount of freelancing done. The only real thing of "interest" that did over the weekend was that I obtained some new shoes. Before you go turn to another website, allow me to explain why I think shews would be a remotely interesting blog topic. 
I was 10 years old when I got RSD (nerve disorder, uber painful). The RSD made my left foot swollen and impossible to touch, thus no shoes. Ever since then the hunt for shoes has become more than "what do I like?" but into "what can I wear?". While thankfully my RSD is in remission and both my feet are the same size again, I still have a lot of problems finding shoes. My MHE caused one of my toes to be malformed, I guess one would call it a hammertoe. My ankles are also riddled with tumors so finding shoes that don't irritate that is a challenge. I also can't bend down to tie shoes.
While I would enjoy the ability to pick whichever shews my little heart desired (and trust me, I could've been a shoe whore) I'm content with the ability to just wear shoes. At the same time, I've had to wear ugly orthopedic shoes and I refuse to look that again. I like to try to find happy mediums of what I would like to wear and what I can wear. 

1) Heels are the devils work- Heels just do not work for me, they put my ankles at a weird angle and are very painful. Some people might be able to walk in them somehow... I just don't see how. 
2) Flats are awesome- Practical and stylish... I see no objections here.
3) Cloth... Also Awesome- Cloth is in general very nice and flexible, unlike leather shoes which can be less forgiving. 
4) You Don't Necessarily Have to Put Comfort First- First I see if a shoe FITS me, if it isn't the most comfortable shoe in the world I just obtain some inserts. Simple solution. 
5) Slip On Shoes Are Simply Smashing- Most styles of shoes have a slip on variety, I approve of these very much. Laces and even velcro can be a challenge for someone who cannot reach their toes. 

Crippie's Tippie- Just because you might have to put some extra effort into something that doesn't mean that it isn't worth doing.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Goodsearch & Goodshop... Good Idea

Hi Everybody!

We all know the economy is more crippled than I am, and during a time of economic crippled-ness everyone has to cut back a little. One of the first things to go on the cut back list is donating to charity. What if I told you that you could donate money to your favorite cause without actually donating money.
Goodsearch and Goodshop are sites that give money to your favorite charities. All you have to do is either  do a legit internet search for Goodsearch or go shopping on your favorite online stores for Goodshop.

Seriously, this is the easiest way to earn your favorite charity some much needed money. Want to find out which actor starred in that movie that you saw that one time? GO TO GOODSEARCH, type in your favorite charity (I like The MHE Coalition), and search away. BAM you just earned a penny for said charity. It doesn't seem like a lot, but if a bunch of people to a few legit searches a day, it adds up. Want to do some back-to-school online shopping? GO TO GOODSHOP, pick your charity (I still like The MHE Coalition), then pick the online store you wish to shop at, shop until you drop, and a percentage of your order goes to your charity! Easy squeezy lemon peasy.

So there, lets raise some money for cripples everywhere by making a very, very, very small change to our internet lives! 


Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Crippie Discusses Her Day

Oh Hai!


Moving right along, today I went to a meeting with a potential freelance client. It went rather well if I do say so myself. Apart from possibly getting freelance work... I DROVE THERE! I drove the 45 minute drive without flipping out! Granted, my mother was in the car with me (she had a meeting too) BUT I DROVE! Considering I get rather anxious driving longish drives to places that I have never been before, I am very proud of myself.
This whole getting insanely excited about a seemingly small event is a technique I use to help myself overcome this whole driving anxiety thing. It puts extra emphasis on the progress I am making and helps build my confidence, thus helping the anxiety go away. 
Another thing that made this drive soooooooo much better was that I used a GPS. My grandma recently obtained a GPS so I borrowed it today. OH MY GOD WHAT A DIFFERENCE. I am terrible with directions and I have had anxiety attacks about getting lost, missing turns, fun stuff like that. Having the GPS took away so much anxiety. I could just concentrate on the road and not have to worry about getting lost. BTW, the GPS I used is a Garmin Nuvi 1450. I highly recommend it. It's easy to use and works really well, and there is a "avoid highways" setting that makes me happy. Seriously, my grandma uses it without difficultly, THAT says something. 

Crippie's Tippie- Celebrate the living daylights out of the small victories in life. Not only is it really fun, it makes you feel really awesome.

Sunday, August 14, 2011


Hi Guys!

The last couple of days have been very busy. While the great job hunt rages on, the great freelance hunt is going rather well *KNOCKS ON MANY PIECES OF WOOD* so I'm pretty confident that sooner or later I will find a job.

In the meantime the question of that day comes of a bunch of small children whom I was working with today "Why are you walking with a cane?" The question of how do I explain my disability to strangers is actually pretty easy to answer.

First off, I really don't mind when strangers ask what is wrong with me. While it's not exactly their business to know I figure I might as well educate people when given the opportunity. But I have developed a system for answering this question, so without further adieu I give you... HOW CRIPPIE ANSWERS THE "Y U A CRIPPLE" QUESTION

1) If a child asks- Kids don't need to know why I use a cane nor will they understand. I just say "I hurt my leg" if the child is reallllllyyyyy young I say "I have a bad boo-boo on my leg"

2) If a wise-ass child/teenager asks- These people are being rude, I reply with a snarky comment like "Shark attack" or "I'm just too damn awesome to walk" occasionally I will say "Dick Cheney shot me"

3) If someone I sorta know asks me- They know me well enough to get a real reason, I say I have a genetic disorder

4) When a friend asks me- There's no reason for me to hide information from them, thus they get the whole shabang

5) When some elderly person who I have never seen before comes up to me in the grocery store and asks what's wrong with me (which has happened a little too frequently)- They are generally curious to see if I am more crippled than they are, I say "I have a bad hip" and then if all goes well said elderly person and I will discuss how much having arthritis sucks.

So that is the basic breakdown of what I say to whom, but basically if you are nice to me when you are asking, you will get a nice answer. If you are being a dick I will troll you right back!

I've been volunteering at a theatre camp for the past month (hence where the kids came from), in honor of the ending of the summer theatre camp I've made a playlist of my favorite broadway showtunes! I put the one's with swears first so if you don't want to listen to swears skip the first 5 songs... enjoy!

Crippie's Tippie- Don't be mad a cripples who tell you crazy stories of how they became cripples, it's just our ways of messing with normals

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Crippie Is Crossing Her Crippled Little Fingers


Ever since I showed Frida her picture on this blog she has turned into such a little diva, demanding extra carrots, extra pellets, AND a dressing room. I think my guinea pig is a bit of a fame whore.

To put Frida down a peg I'm posting a picture of Aggie, one of 5 other piggies in my house. While she is a total loud mouth, she's not a diva.

Moving on, as mentioned in many a prior post... I REALLY WANT A JOB! I'm constantly on the hunt for a job that
a) I can do
b) I can get to
c) Is willing to hire a recent college grad

Most of time I cannot find anything near me that fits the bill. You can only imagine that my surprise when I spotted a local Craig's List ad that fits all of my requirements. HOLY CRAP! I literally just found the ad maybe ten minutes ago. I'm gonna take my time a craft a spiffy cover letter but I am totally gonna apply there today. I have a really good feeling about this job and I think I can do really well there. Let's just hope it's not a scam. Cross your fingers for Crippie everybody and hope for the best.


Aggie's Tippie- Be careful on Craig's List, there are some very bad people there. Also, hire my mommy.

UPDATE- Crippie followed Aggie's advice and looked into the company, they are known for not paying their designers... boo. THE JOB HUNT RAGES ON! 

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Disability & Pets


I hope everyone enjoyed their weekends and Mondays. I went to see a lovely production of "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat"

Anyone who has ever checked my tumblr has probably seen a picture or two of my guinea pigs. The little bundle of cuteness to your left is Frida, my piggie. She is one of six guinea pigs that I own. Frida is also, ironically, a cripple. She has benign fatty tumors in her body. They don't cause her any pain so I don't mind saying "CRIPPIE'S PIGGIE IS ALSO A CRIPPIE".
Apart from being freakishly adorable, my pets help me manage my disability. Nothing makes a bad day go away quite like this little face. Snuggling with a pet helps lower blood pressure and your heart rate. Did I mention that they are really freakin' adorable?

While there is a dog in my house who will occasionally grace my tumblr with her presence, I prefer guinea pigs over dogs for several reasons...
1) You don't have to walk them
2) You don't have to walk them
3) You don't have to walk them
4) You can snuggle with them for a rather long while
5) I can take care of them on my own

Naturally there are some serious things to consider before obtaining a guinea pig
1) They shed like crazy
2) They require lots of hay, food, and salad
3) You need to change their cages 
4) Bedding, food, etc costs money
5) Piggies can get sick a rack up a very expensive vet bill

Obtaining a pet is a very serious decision to make, for more information about guinea pigs and how to make sure your piggies are properly cared for check this link out. So what about you guys? Am I the only Crippie that has piggies or a bunch of pets for that matter?

Crippie's Tippie- When choosing a pet, make sure you pick something that you are physically capable of taking care of. You don't want the animal to have a lesser quality of life because you can't take care of them.

Frida's Tippie- BUY MY MOMMY'S BOOK! Use the coupon code SINK305 to get 20% off your entire Lulu order! 

Friday, August 5, 2011

Driving Miss Crippie


YAY I managed to post in a timely matter *pats self on back*!!!

So as mentioned here, I am in the process of acquiring transportation so I can function in the workforce. Apart from the general issue of paying for a damn car (CARS, INSURANCE, AND GAS... Y U SO EXPENSIVE) I'm in the process of "re-learning" to drive if you will. Several surgeries on my legs and hips have kept me out of the driver's seat for a few years. You see, in order to drive I have to be comfortable behind the wheel of a car. Along with the physical pain that driving occasionally brings I also have a bit of anxiety about driving.

Me thinks the reason behind my anxiety is a mild case of OCD. I have a tendency to worry about wrecking the car and killing all the passengers in the car. Sometimes this fear keeps me from driving. This could be considered a very huge issue, seeing as how driving is necessary to find a job given my current location. While I consider this an issue, I don't consider it a huge issue. As a matter of fact, compared to all the other issues I have, anxiety is the least of my worries.

Now comes the true question, "Well, how the hell are you gonna drive?" The way I see things is that my form of anxiety can be treated rather easily. What I have to do is force myself to drive. I go into "Lieutenant Crippie Mode" Here is Crippie's thought process...

Crippie's Anxiety- I don't wanna drive
Lieutenant Crippie- DO YOU WANT A JOB
Crippie's Anxiety- Well... of course
Crippie's Anxiety- But... what if I wreck?
Lieutenant Crippie- Then you'll wreck... what if you never get a job?
Crippie's Anxierty- Then I won't be a functioning member of society
Lieutenant Crippie- WHAT DO NORMAL PEOPLE DO?
Lieutenant Crippie- CAN YOU DRIVE?!?!?
Crippie's Anxiety- SIR YES SIR
Lieutenant Crippie- THEN GO OUT THERE AND BE NORMAL!!!

Yes I actually do that in my head... what... it helps. Here are a few other things I do to avoid having a panic attack whilst driving...
1- Listen to music- For some reason the soundtrack to "Assassins" always calms me down.
2- Channel your anxiety into other places- When I'm driving I keep my pocketbook on my lap and I keep the AC from blowing in my face. It just makes me feel more secure.
3- Try to Rationalize- I constantly try to remind myself that the chances of me wrecking are slim, this isn't always successful, but it doesn't hurt to remind yourself of it.

Crippie's Tippie- If you suffer from anxiety that you cannot get rid of and impacts your quality of life... see someone about it. There is no reason for you to suffer in silence.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Words of Wisdom from Russell Brand... Wait... What?


Sorry for lack of blogging *Begs for mercy*, Crippie's household has been very hectic for the last couple of days. Nothing serious... we're just busy here.

Anywhooo, I was browsing SNL clips on and I came across a most interesting little clip that I almost found inspiring... shockingly it came from Russell Brand's monologue.

For those who didn't watch the monologue (I don't blame you if you didn't... it's kinda long). The part I found most interesting was when he was discussing his marriage. He began talking about an issue that could be considered very annoying by most people's standards... but then he thinks about how lovely it is to be able to have that kind of problem compared to the serious police related issues he used to have.

I actually have a newfound respect for this fella (even though this was filmed in February and I've seen this episode before, I just never listened to the monologue). Sometimes I do wonder if people really know how fortunate they are, even when they are having difficulties. I occasionally volunteer at a certain location which I will not disclose, whilst there I often encounter a woman who complains about everything under the sun that's going on with her and her families lives. There are times when I want to tell her to shut her trap (now that I've seen Russell Brand talk I'm writing in British, I think it colours up the blog, piss off if you don't like it). I mean, sure some of her "problems" are certainly annoying little inconveniences, but she is lucky to be able to have those problems.

Crippie's Tippie- Take a moment and think about all the good things in your life, take another moment to reflect on the bad things... chances are you can turn most of those bad things into a good thing.

P.S. I don't think the media should treat Russell Brand like some crazy person, he does have a certain wisdom to him.

Monday, August 1, 2011


Ohai Everybody!

In case you guys are wondering why I usually post at insane hours of the night...
a) I'm still on a college student sleep schedule
b) I think I do my best work at night... at least I like to think that
c) I'm usually in pain during the night and blogging helps distract me.
Choice "c" is the reason tonight. My hip freaking hurts. Apart from the feeling that a lead balloon is expanding in my hip socket (arthritis) me thinks that either a tendon or a ligament has caught somewhere in the hip joint (MHE). In other words, I'm in a lot of discomfort and pain right now. The pain meds I take should kick in soon, but in the meantime... OUCHIES!

However, I'm not going to let a little problem like acute pain get in the way of the awesome weekend I had. This weekend was CRIPPLEFEST, the day where me and some of my fellow cripple that have MHE get to hang out. While Cripplefest was small this year, only 4 cripples, we had a wide array of people. Even though we varied in ages from mid 50s to 10 years old and have only been in the same room with one another for maybe a few hours, we feel like family. My cripples and I had a dandy time competing in scar wars (I won), surgery wars (I won), asshole doctor awards (didn't win), and impressive tumor awards (didn't win... RIP Pointy). One of the other cripples and I had a dandy time discussing our hatred for high-heeled shoes (they royally hurt our ankles) and how flats need to be prettier. It really is fun to be able to talk with people who are in the same boat that you are. Cripplefest is probably the only day a year when I truly feel "normal".

A group of Crippie's Tippie's for fellow Crippies- If your doctor doesn't know about your disability... find another doctor. If your doctor knows about your disability but continues to screw up... find another doctor. If your doctor doesn't listen to you... say it with me everyone FIND ANOTHER DOCTOR!
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