Tumor, With Love

A MIILLLLLIIIIIOOOOOON points to everyone who gets that pun

I have several things to discuss with y'all tonight!

First, I FINALLY put a page up on the menu for the piggies. I'll add to it eventually, but basic profiles of the piggies is good place to start.

Speaking of piggies, I've been trying to slowly introduce Maggie to members of the trio. Yesterday she had a play date with Frida. It went better than expected, Maggie seemed to approve of Frida, but Frida wasn't too fond of Maggie. Since the local rescues have not contacted me back in regards to the baby, I might as well attempt to introduce Maggie to the trio. When I do I'll make sure I have a MASSIVE amount of space and a crap ton of salad. For those of you in a similar situation, remember that as tempting as it may be to just go and buy a baby pig, RESIST. Always rescue your piggies.

In non-guinea pig related new I saw my pain management doctor today. It was my last visit before having Fanny removed so we went over all the pre and post surgery pain management goodness. Usually I'm pretty good when it comes to taking pain meds after surgery, I take the crazy strong stuff for a day or so, then I go back to normal stuff. After we discussed everything my doctor wanted to examine Fanny for one last time, cause let's face it, Fanny might be a massive pain in the ass but she is one impressive tumor. Fanny is so impressive that a nurse wanted to come in and check it out as well. What can I say, I'm the only person with MHE that either of them has ever seen, how can I not take an opportunity to show of my best tumors?

I'm sure there are people out there who think that naming tumors, getting a kick out of showing them off, etc. is weird. Well, of course it's weird, but I do it because I think it's fun. I have a giant tumor on my ass... HOW CAN I NOT MAKE FUN OF IT?!?!?! The way I see it I can either be ashamed of my disability and hide my giant ass tumor, OR I can embrace and own it. Most of these tumors are not going anywhere, so I might as well get a few lulz from 'em.

Crippie's Tippie - Try to find the humor in your situation, it sure beats moping around

Keep On Waiting.......

Ohai

The Mama Pig Update - Annnnnnnnnnnddd we're back to square one. I returned home from work today to find blood in the trio's cage. After inspecting all the pigs I discovered that it was Mama Pig. After watching her for a little bit I came to the conclusion that she has another UTI. *Sigh* We're gonna attempt to flush out the infection. Crippie has been giving Mama Pig about 2 cc's of water every 3 hours or so. I'm also giving her the chinese herb Shilintong, which should act as an anti-inflamitory. If she doesn't get better we'll take her to a vet. Mama Pig probably is genetically predisposed to bladder issues. She passed this trait on to Nellie, Frida, and Emma. So they will all periodically get UTI's. So yeaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh, Mama Pig requests ninja healing vibes. She's ever so tired of being sick.

Moving on to MRI news, my doctor has reviewed my film and he will let us know what's going on tomorrow. While this is kinda annoying that he couldn't have just called us with the results, this is ultimately a good thing. If my ortho was concerned about a tumor being cancerous he would have called us today. He also said that I don't need a second MRI... YAY CRIPPIE!!! This also means that my ortho could clearly see my pelvis in my first MRI and that he should hopefully know why I was having problems sitting! Crippie is super curious to find out what's going on with that. The whole sitting issue has improved quite a bit with my total pillow buddy. I now only use that at work, cause that's where I sit the longest. Crippie eagerly awaits these results. Thanks for keeping your fingers crossed guys, it's been working thus far!

Since I'm pretty sure that Fanny will be removed Crippie can't help but think of funny things to do with the tumor. I know I want a photograph on Fanny once she's out, but Crippie thinks it would be rather amusing to keep her in a jar. Crippie could glue google-y eyes on it! It would be like "my pet rock"... ONLY MORE AWESOME! If y'all think that this is just bizarre and creepy, this is just how Crippie eases herself into situations like this. I have to laugh about how I'll have a huge scar on my ass... and knowing my luck it will keloid. It will be like cripple tramp stamp! I can also picture the recovery process like the hospital scene from Forrest Gump... lying on my tummy eating ice cream.

Again, might seem weird that Crippie thinks like this, but finding the humor in situations like this makes them soooooooooooooooooooooooo much more bearable.

 Crippie's Tippie - Humor is the greatest medicine. If you don't laugh about something, you'll cry

Crippie Shares Some Link-ies

Yo!

Wow, I just noticed that this blog has over 3,500 views! Holy crap! Thanks guys for supporting me, it really means a lot.

Sorry for the lack of posts this week, fatigue got the better of me. To make up for the lack of posts I figured I would post some websites that I like to go on and videos I like to see when I'm too tired and/or in too much pain to really do anything else.

My Party Dress- My sister (who turned 19 today... YAY) singing at a cabaret

Llamas With Hats- I can quote this video word for word... probably not a good thing

Hugh Laurie- IT'S NEVER LUPUS... EVER

And Some Awesome Links...

Toxel.Com - Toxel is pretty much awesome in blog form

Catsthatlooklikehitler.com - Just when you think cats can't get more evil/adorable, you find ones that kinda look like Hitler. (BTW I'm a Jew and I find this site hilarious, I want a Kitler so bad). 

Catsinsinks.com - A potentially less offensive version of the site posted above

Psdisasters.com - Looking at photoshop disasters makes me feel like I am the greatest photoshopper of all time! 

Memebase.com - home of memes and jokes about every day life. I love to find all the cripple related memes, this one has to be one of my favorites...

Crippie's Tippie- Making realllyyyyyyy offensive jokes about your situation can actually make you feel more at ease with it.

Words of Wisdom from Russell Brand... Wait... What?

Salutations

Sorry for lack of blogging *Begs for mercy*, Crippie's household has been very hectic for the last couple of days. Nothing serious... we're just busy here.

Anywhooo, I was browsing SNL clips on hulu.com and I came across a most interesting little clip that I almost found inspiring... shockingly it came from Russell Brand's monologue.



For those who didn't watch the monologue (I don't blame you if you didn't... it's kinda long). The part I found most interesting was when he was discussing his marriage. He began talking about an issue that could be considered very annoying by most people's standards... but then he thinks about how lovely it is to be able to have that kind of problem compared to the serious police related issues he used to have.

I actually have a newfound respect for this fella (even though this was filmed in February and I've seen this episode before, I just never listened to the monologue). Sometimes I do wonder if people really know how fortunate they are, even when they are having difficulties. I occasionally volunteer at a certain location which I will not disclose, whilst there I often encounter a woman who complains about everything under the sun that's going on with her and her families lives. There are times when I want to tell her to shut her trap (now that I've seen Russell Brand talk I'm writing in British, I think it colours up the blog, piss off if you don't like it). I mean, sure some of her "problems" are certainly annoying little inconveniences, but she is lucky to be able to have those problems.

Crippie's Tippie- Take a moment and think about all the good things in your life, take another moment to reflect on the bad things... chances are you can turn most of those bad things into a good thing.

P.S. I don't think the media should treat Russell Brand like some crazy person, he does have a certain wisdom to him.

Cripplefest!!!

Ohai Everybody!

In case you guys are wondering why I usually post at insane hours of the night...
a) I'm still on a college student sleep schedule
b) I think I do my best work at night... at least I like to think that
c) I'm usually in pain during the night and blogging helps distract me.
Choice "c" is the reason tonight. My hip freaking hurts. Apart from the feeling that a lead balloon is expanding in my hip socket (arthritis) me thinks that either a tendon or a ligament has caught somewhere in the hip joint (MHE). In other words, I'm in a lot of discomfort and pain right now. The pain meds I take should kick in soon, but in the meantime... OUCHIES!

However, I'm not going to let a little problem like acute pain get in the way of the awesome weekend I had. This weekend was CRIPPLEFEST, the day where me and some of my fellow cripple that have MHE get to hang out. While Cripplefest was small this year, only 4 cripples, we had a wide array of people. Even though we varied in ages from mid 50s to 10 years old and have only been in the same room with one another for maybe a few hours, we feel like family. My cripples and I had a dandy time competing in scar wars (I won), surgery wars (I won), asshole doctor awards (didn't win), and impressive tumor awards (didn't win... RIP Pointy). One of the other cripples and I had a dandy time discussing our hatred for high-heeled shoes (they royally hurt our ankles) and how flats need to be prettier. It really is fun to be able to talk with people who are in the same boat that you are. Cripplefest is probably the only day a year when I truly feel "normal".

A group of Crippie's Tippie's for fellow Crippies- If your doctor doesn't know about your disability... find another doctor. If your doctor knows about your disability but continues to screw up... find another doctor. If your doctor doesn't listen to you... say it with me everyone FIND ANOTHER DOCTOR!

How To Deal With Crap

Bonjour!

After two silly posts I figured I should do a serious one. I was asked a very difficult question yesterday by someone who's child has special needs. "How do you deal with being physically unable to do what you want to do?" I am fairly good at staying optimistic regardless of what is going on, but this has to be the hardest situation for me. My general outlook of "misfortune is temporary and everything will be alright in the end" really doesn't apply to something that is not temporary and will remain craptacular forever.

One of the hardest things about being a cripple is facing the reality that sometimes being a cripple holds you back. My disabilities have prevented me from going to various places, experiencing many "normal" moments, and have made aspects of my life very challenging. I'll admit there have been times when seeing pictures of people I know doing a variety of "normal" activities have made me cry. I try my best not to do that, simply because sitting and crying over someone's facebook picture accomplishes nothing. So here's what I do to deal with the crap.

1) Face the fact that life is not fair- The sooner you get over the "why me's" the better. There is no good reason for aspects of your life to suck, it just does. In some how, some way life sucks for everyone.

2) Accept the fact that the feeling of being held back will happen- Accepting it makes the feeling less harsh.

3) Make jokes about your situation- As one of my professors said "If ya don't laugh about it, you'll cry".

4) Find a proper outlet for your frustrations- I draw and paint to help me cope with the frustrations, soooo much better for you than crying over facebook photos.

A painting I made when I was 17, sums up some of my negative feelings.

5) Find people in similarly craptacular situations- You get the feeling you're not alone, support, and the ability to bitch about the situation to someone who knows what you are talking about.

I know it's hard, but we cannot let the occasional disappointment get the better of us. Don't let the negative aspects of your life outweigh the positives. I know we can do it.

Crippie's Tippie- Be thankful for anything and everything you can do, chances are there is someone out there who wishes they could do what you do.

The Importance of Being Quirky

Oh hai,

I promised good news and good news I shall deliver. A few weeks ago Quirk Classics (they publish books like "Pride, Prejudice,  and Zombies") had a contest for artists to came up with their own book idea and cover. I came up with "The Importance of Being Earnest and a Pirate", and go figure... I'M A RUNNER UP! Check out all of the entries here! Congrats to the winner to the other runners up, Y'ALL ROCK! For good measure, here's my entry.

Now, why I am mentioning this? Apart from the fact that I am uber excited about it, humor has been a way for me to cope with my illness for a very long time. In other words, my disability helped me develop a sense of humor, my sense of humor helped me make a kick-ass entry, and thus my kick ass entry is picked as a runner up! While my crippled-ness causes many problems in my life, the perks make it sooooooooooo much more manageable.

Oh and BTW, if anyone has any legit questions to ask me about being a cripple, post a comment. Chances are I'll answer it.


Crippie's Tippie of the Day- If ya got it... flaunt it.

Pointy- A Tribute

Greetings,

On January 11th I experienced a loss. My favorite tumor, Pointy, was surgically removed from my wrist. I wanted to pay tribute to my favorite lil' tumor with a lil' blog post.

Pointy was a little bad-ass tumor. He liked to be very visible on my wrist and freak people out. He liked being visible with out being painful. I liked that in a tumor. He was my display tumor. When people asked what was wrong with me I showed them Pointy and they got the picture. One day Pointy decided that he needed to spread his wings and he started growing. He grew so much that he could have broken the skin given the opportunity. So I decided to give Pointy the Ol' Yeller treatment and set him free.

(yes, that's actually Pointy) If you're grossed out by that, try living with it in your wrist.

So now I am fully recovered and have a dandy new scar on my wrist, but the memories of Pointy will always remain. Fare well Pointy, I hope you are enjoying annoying the crap out of things in tumor heaven.

Crippie's Tippie of the Day- Naming your tumors and paying tribute to them is an awesome way to freak people out.