Tuesday, December 31, 2013


Happy New Year!

Two posts in two days? WHAT IS THIS MADNESS???????? As promised, to make up for the yesterday's depressing post, here's a happy one :)

I was contacted by the amazing Heather, a cancer survivor turned blogger to write a post about what I am thankful for because "If having cancer has taught me anything, it’s the value of life and the value of gratitude. My diagnosis was in November, and every year during the holiday season, I am reminded of this difficult time. Therefore, I have set out to acknowledge something in my life that I am thankful for every day throughout the month of December." How could I say no to a request like that? 

This might sound painfully obvious but I am eternally grateful for my family, friends and pets. My family has never left my side and have always been there for me when I need it most. They molded me into the person I am today and I cannot thank them enough for that. Don't even start me on the small things... I'd be lost if my dad never told me how to properly maintain my car, my mom helped start a support group for me so I wouldn't feel alone, my sister willingly does chores for me when I'm in too much pain to do so (which is often), and my grandma makes me nomerful dinners. I love them very much and am eternally thankful for their love and support. 

I'm just so incredibly thankful for the love and support of my family and friends. Since I have experienced many lows when it comes to friendship, I know the value of good ones. Here's a good example of how awesome my family and friends are. I turned 25 on December 4th but I wasn't exactly planning on doing anything special for it, I haven't been too keen on birthday parties since middle school, not to mention the whole "quarter-life crisis" thing. What do my family and friends do? They organize a surprise 25th birthday/watch the midseason finale of "The Walking Dead" party! I had a blast at my first real "party" in over a decade (even if I had lots of feels from watching "Santa" get his head chopped off with a katana). My family and friends are my happiness and my life would royally suck without them. *I just started singing that Kelly Clarkson song in my head :/* 

Last but not least, my furbabies. Before I begin to type this out I'd like to mention that Helen just had a nightmare and is now sleeping on one of my arms, it's numb and tingly. Let's see how typing with one hand goes! Ok, back to the subject. My animals are my comfort and my sanity. I am thankful for their unconditional love and snuggles. It is impossible for them to hate me and it's impossible for me to hate them. They know to give me extra snuggles when I'm in pain. It doesn't matter how craptacular my day was, when I see my piggies lined up for  salad my problems don't matter.
 I'll admit that 2013 wasn't the best year for me, but I am so thankful for what I have. I am extraordinarily blessed to have a support system that cares about me, I try to repay them to the best of my abilities, but it'll never be enough. So to those family and friends who know my blog, I say thank you. 

HAPPY 2014 Y'ALL! And thank you to all of my crippled comrades, I appreciate every last one of you :D

Crippie's Tippie - You can always find a cloud with a silver lining, regardless of how overcast it might seem

Monday, December 30, 2013

2013 Re(handi)cap


Two posts in a month! SHOCKING! One of my resolutions for this year is to get the hell back to blogging... I really do miss it. 

In keeping with a yearly tradition (see 2012 & 2011) it's time to recap Crippie's year. I'm not gonna do a month by month recap cause I can pretty much recap 2013 with three little words. Ready?


Yeaaaaaahhhh... this year I said goodbye to a great aunt, a great uncle, a childhood friend, Mama Pig, Frida and Aggie. 6 goodbyes in 12 months is really rough. A lot of good things happened this year too, don't get me wrong... I acquired 3 adorable piggies, I turned 25 (huzzah!), I obtained a social life, I went a year without having an operation and or any major complications, and a bunch of other good things... but still... the loss lingers. The death kinda trumps everything else. 

I'm gonna post again tomorrow, a happier post to make up for this one. But in the meantime, let's raise a glass in hopes that 2014 will be better. Here's to a happy and healthy New Year my comrades. 

And let's raise a glass to those we lost this year. May they rest in peace. Rise & Fly <3

Crippie's Tippie - Appreciate what you have while you have it, because things are taken away far too quickly

Thursday, December 5, 2013


Eat It by "Weird Al" Yankovic on Grooveshark

Hey Guys,

Sorry I've royally sucked at blogging. I swear I'll get back to a regular schedule when I can.

Nellie and Angel are still alive and kicking, even though Angel's heart meds have put her into kidney failure. She still hanging in there though, which is good because no one in my house was ready to lose another pet. Unfortunately for us Aggie was diagnosed with heart failure two weeks ago. She passed away around 9:30 tonight after a valiant two-week fight. Aggie was four years old.

We obtained Aggie and Maggie for two reasons, one being that Maggie was so teensy and adorable, the second being that Aggie crawled into my mom's hood when she met her. They were just too freaking cute to pass up. Aggie was definitely skittish at first. This picture is from her first day home. She screamed when we took her out of her box and while she was being held. We placed her on the dog bed while we set up the cage, she stopped screaming, stood in amazement of the comfiness of her new bed for about 5 seconds, then promptly fell asleep. Also, holy crap look at how tiny they are!

Clearly Aggie didn't stay very tiny for very long. Ya see, if there was one thing Aggie loved more than anything in the whole world it was FOOD. Good Lord that pig loved to eat. It didn't even matter to her whether or not said thing in her mouth was edible. If it was near her face, she'd eat it. Her favorite non-edible "foods" were paper and metal. Her favorite actual food was food. She soon became the fattest pig in our house and was lovingly dubbed "Fat Ass Pig", "Fat Bastard", "Chubs McGee", "Fats Domino", "Fattie McFatFat" etc.

Aggie and her "buddy" Maggie had a very... um... tumultuous relationship. Aggie on the whole was very introverted and kept to herself while Maggie was freaking crazy. God help whichever pig wasn't in heat. While they tolerated each other for a few years their friendship ended when Aggie poked her eye on a piece of hay. Aggie let out her frustrations out on Maggie, and Maggie fought back. It was decided that the two were to be separated. Maggie went to live with Nellie, Frida and Mama Pig while Aggie FINALLY got some peace and quiet (generally speaking pigs should always be housed in pairs, Aggie was the exception to the rule). Aggie was my lil' lone wolf. She was completely content on her own.

She liked showing off her very boop-able nose. *boop*

Aggie LOVED being a lazy bum. She was also a "special" little bum, she enjoyed zoning out to "Weird Al Yankovic". What can I say? My piggies have very unique tastes in music.

She was veeeeerrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy vocal about how much she wanted to be fed. I could be across the house with headphones on and I'd STILL hear her wheeking to be fed. As soon as a fridge or a salad bag rustled during dinner time this lil' fattie would be standing up and screaming her lungs out.

Aggie is predeceased by her buddies Emma, Mama Pig, and Frida. She is survived by her frenemy Maggie, quasi-buddy Nellie, strange new pigs Eleanor and Prudence, pig that was either giving her kisses and or eating her hair earlier today Lucy, strange furry dog thing Helen, a very devastated Angel who has been moping around the house all night, and of course her humans, all of whom miss her dearly and will never forget her. Rest in peace my lil' fattie, I hope you're somewhere mindlessly grazing on whatever is in front of your adorable little face. Mommy loves you Aggie.  

Crippie's Tippie - Ask your vet to give you extra metacam for your piggies. It could mean the difference between leaving this world in agony or in peace.

P.S. I swear I'll return to blogging regularly one of these days. I do have things to share with y'all. But for now I just can't. Thanks for putting up with my suckiness guys. Love y'all - XOXO Crippie

Monday, October 14, 2013

Operation Don't Let Angel Die

Ohai Y'all

I don't have a good excuse to why I have been a terrible blogger. Bit of a rut I guess. I'm thinking of topics I could write about. Do any of my lovely readers have and cripple questions and or topics you want me to cover?

Before I get down to business here, Nellie is still alive and well. She thanks you all for the ninja vibes.

Now... on to that title...

My Lhasa Apso Angel is fairly old, the vets think she's between 12 to 16 years old. She hadn't been feeling all that great this week. She has skin issues and it really seemed to be bothering her a lot, plus she was panting a lot... so we took her ass to the vet. Well... it turns out that her skin is the absolute least of her problems. Angel was diagnosed with congestive heart failure. Crap. My poor little girl had to spend the night at the vet while they gave her all sorts of fun drugs to keep her... ya know... alive. Luckily for us we caught her heart disease relatively early so we can treat it. She needs special heart medications twice a day. This isn't the worst news in the world... but if you know Angel, you know that she does NOT take to taking medicine lightly. She's like a pill ninja. You can put a tiny pill in a pill pocket and she will eat around it. Try peanut butter you say? LOL... she eats the peanut butter and spits out the pill. Angel is a freaking genius. How do we outsmart the genius twice a day? Especially when one of her pills needs to be ground up into food. Angel might be a smart dog, but she has one weakness... "beggin' strips". Normally, she would not be allowed to have beggin' strips, they go against a diet for her skin. Why break her diet? We know it's not ideal, but getting Angel her heart medication is our new #1 priority for her. She will not take her medications unless her food is jam packed with beggin' strips or whatever mind-blowingly delicious foods we can get for her. An added bonus to the beggin' strips; they make her so happy. We've accepted that she doesn't exactly have a "long" life ahead of her. So we keep her going for a little while longer, and she gets her beloved beggin' strips. It's a win/win. Helen is also making out like a bandit, as she gets to sample all the treats that Angel gets (Helen does not have any dietary restrictions), she was in a bit of a food coma last night ;)

So now everyone in my house is adjusting to caring for an even higher needs dog. Finding ways to get her to take her medicine, taking her out to use the bathroom constantly, watching her for signs of worsening help problems. It'll take us a few days to adjust to everything, but it will soon become our normal. In the meantime Angel request ninja vibes and Helen requests treats.
I can has beggin strip?
Did someone say beggin strip? (Also, you can really tell she's blind in this pic)
Crippie's Tippie - It is your responsibility as a pet owner to keep your animal alive for as long as humanly possible.

P.S. - Yes, Crippie is insanely happy that Walking Dead is back on :3 

Saturday, September 28, 2013

Operation Don't Let Nellie Die

Howdy Y'all!

I know... I know... I suck at posting. Not much has been goin' on here to report on though. I did realize that I missed the one year anniversary of Fanny the Ass tumor's removal. I need to do something special to commemorate the event, and as soon as I think of something I'll do it.

The main reason I didn't post anything was that Nellie got sick, and I was genuinely afraid that I'd post anything and then the next day having to post a tribute to Nellie. Thankfully Miss Nellie Bellie is still with us *knocks on wood* so I figured I'd make a general post about it. *NOTE TO THE KARMA GODS... THIS IS NOT A CELEBRATION OF HER BEING ALL HEALED OR ANYTHING, I'M JUST TELLING THE STORY OF HOW SHE'S NOT DEAD RIGHT NOW*

Ok, so here's what happened. Last week we were cleaning the quint's cage when we noticed it... the dreaded red bedding, quite a lot of it actually. My first instinct was that Lucy had bitten someone. After a quick exam of each piggie and not finding any blood on anyone I assumed someone had a Urinary Tract Infection. Even before I knew who had the UTI I started treating Nellie for it. Why? A few reasons... One, Nellie has a personal and family history of 'em. Two, no one else in the cage has a history. Three, she's almost five. Let's just say the odd were not ever in her favor. So, I started flushing her out with the Chinese Herb "Shilintong". I take a tablet, crush it, put it in water and give it to 'em with a syringe. It smells like bad "fall" scented products if that makes sense. It makes the whole room stink to high heaven, but Nellie LOVES the stuff. While Mama and Frida tried to throw the syringes at me Nellie would attack the syringe to get more of it. Luckily for me she loved the stuff cause I'd give her a fair amount of the it every hour on the hour every night. This continued for a few days, and while I was growing concerned I did not take her to a vet. On the whole this is an extremely stupid thing to do. Let me tell ya why I didn't though. Apart from the whole occasionally peeing blood thing she was perfectly fine,  a happy lil' critter with a veracious appetite. More importantly, if I took her to the vet, they'd prescribe anti-biotics, and she has a family history of getting even sicker from the anti-biotics. She has a better track record with herbs than with actual drugs, so I felt this was her best chance. Of course if she started showing signs of pain and or actual sickness I would have taken her to a vet in a heartbeat, but that was the worst case scenario. Thankfully after a few nights of flushings and a dose of metacam later Nellie is as good as new, although I'm pretty sure she's bummed out about the lack of Chinese Herbal Drink.

Now that we've gotten Nellie through the week we want to keep her alive for as long as freaking possible. The last thing I need right now is another dead guinea pig. The key to keeping Nellie with us is to prevent her from getting sick. She has a history of bladder issues, so we do our best to prevent 'em. She is on a low calcium diet because calcium can build up in her lil' bladder and cause stones. I'm probably going to give her Shilintong even when she's not in the midst of a UTI, help clean the pipes if you will.  Nellie also gets a daily vitamin for urinary health.

We use Oxbow Natural Science vitamins for the piggies. They've got several varieties and I completely and totally would recommend them from your piggies. Nellie loves these vitamins more than life itself. She now recognizes the sound of the jar opening and popcorns at the thought of the yummy treats. 


A word of caution though with those vitamins... make sure the other piggies have lots of treats, because they will try to steal the 'em. Here's Eleanor trying to Nellie's precious vitamin. Let's just say Eleanor got a flickin' and Nellie got to continue nomming on her treat. 

Apart from prevention the only thing I can do I watch her like a freakin' hawk. Nellie is very predictable, and the moment she stops being predictable will be the moment something goes wrong. She gets weighed every couple of days, again her weight is stable and if she loses a noticeable amount of weight I'll take her ass to the vet. And as always I have an "emergency kit" of metacam, critical care, and pedialyte for the very likely chance that someone decides to get sick in the middle of the night. Seriously, what is it with animals getting sick AFTER the vet closes?!?!?!

Well, I think that's it here. Nellie doesn't particularly care about ninja vibes, but Lucy requests that you send them on Nellie's behalf, just to make sure everything is ok.

Crippie's Tippie - Shilintong can be purchased HERE. Apparently humans can use it too.

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Back to Basics


I hope y'all have been having a dandy week thus far. Mine's certainly been interesting. Shall I bring you guys up to speed?

First off, someone hit my car in a parking lot... with me in it. No worries though, there was hardly any damage to my precious Penelope, just a scratch on the car and a few scratches to the rim of a tire. Seriously, it was so minuscule that I told the guy who hit me not to worry about it. It was a scary experience though. One of my main fears about driving is getting into/being involved in an accident and killing myself and or someone else. My thought process getting out of the car was "OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! WHAT AM I GONNA DO? WHAT AM I GONNA... oh... wait... there's no damage here... oh... okay... we're cool." I was a lil shake-y for a while but I calmed down after an hour or two. Now I ain't even mad, just thankful that nothing worse happened.

On to cripple things, the past few weeks have suuuuuccccccckkkkkeeeeedddddd pain wise. How bad? Well, I spent most of my labor day weekend laid up in bed watching "Orange Is The New Black" because I was literally in too much pain to move. Side note, I really enjoyed that show. If I had a "busy" day it would take another day to recover, and I'm using the word "busy" loosely because I really wasn't doing all that much. Anyway, today I went to my pain management doctor to discuss everything. She gave my back a once over and we came to the conclusion that my gait and lack of strength in my back is causing the pain. She gave me some exercises to do so hopefully that'll help. We're also adjusting my medication schedule a bit. I usually take my meds at night. We're now splitting them up so I take some of my weaker meds earlier. This should help manage my pain better and keep it at bay longer. Fingers crossed that it works. On the bright side, my arms having given me much trouble over the past two weeks, which is a welcome change. Pity the other issues overshadowed that.

On to piggie things. Lucy-fer was on a bit of an asshole rampage for a few days, until we discovered "solitary confinement". And by that I mean we put her in a pet carrier and left in there for a little while. One night before dinner Lucy was acting up so I put her in solitary. Her case was on a chair next to me so I could see her the entire time. It was 30 minutes of "WHY AM I HERE MAMAAAAAAA" and lots of sad piggie eyes. She started to learn her lesson after that, but she truly learned her lesson a few days after that. Lucy had settled down, but one her favorite pigs, Maggie, was ignoring her. Lucy would go by Maggie, not touching her or anything, and Maggie would start freaking out and screaming at Lucy until she left. Well... one day I check them and I found Miss Lucy-fer sulking in a corner. I took her out for some one on one time and we had a nice talk. I think she's starting to realize that her actions have consequences.

YOU CAN SEE THE SADNESS ON HER FACE! It's been a few days since we've had that discussion and *knock on wood* Lucy has not gotten into trouble. She's been a very good girl. Maggie is still wary of her and screams whenever Lucy comes near her. Poor Lucy-fer, she just sits there like "WHAT DID I DO!?!?! I JUST WANT TO SHARE A HOUSE WITH YOU".

So that's about it. Fun week. Happy Friday everyone!

Crippie's Tippie - Just because an animal is aggressive at times don't assume it's evil

Saturday, September 7, 2013

The L-Word

Howdy Y'all!

First off, I gotta give a shout out to my Jewish readers, have a happy and healthy new year. L'shana tova!

Next, I've got a cripple question from the lovely Rachel from "Fluted Cups & Ampersands". Her post was essentially about being called lazy by a nurse at a doctor's appointment, and Rachel wanted some input from other cripples about the situation. Here's my two cents (and probable cripple rant)

If hypothetically a nurse called me a "cripple", "gimp" or any fun technically offensive word I wouldn't think much of it. I'd probably start laughing hysterically actually. BUT if some nurse had the audacity to call me lazy all hell would break loose. Being called "lazy" is probably the worst thing you could say to a cripple, if not the worst it's in the top 10. Why? Because being lazy implies that you are making a conscious choice that you don't want to do something simply because you don't feel like it. I have chronic pain and fatigue, so when I cannot do something it's not because I don't WANT to something, it's because I CANNOT! Calling a cripple lazy implies that you think they are lying, weak, annoying, etc. It's extraordinarily insensitive and extremely hurtful, especially coming from people who do not know what they're talking about.

What would I have done in this situation? Thankfully I have not been called lazy by a total stranger so I can only use my imagination here. Gauging from the fact that it was a professional setting and probably other people around, I'd probably rip 'em a new asshole... politely of course ;) The conversation would probably go as followed...
Stupid Nurse - *some snarky comment about me being lazy*
Crippie - Excuse me? I... I'm sorry, I didn't catch that. Did you just call me lazy?
Stupid Nurse - *insert another well thought out comment*
Crippie - How many tumors are on your skeleton at this very moment?
Stupid  Nurse - Um... none
Crippie - I have hundreds of tumors all over my body. HUNDREDS. Do you know what that means?
Stupid Nurse - Um... no
Crippie - What a surprise! Well, let me educate the expert here. These tumors cause pain and restrict mobility. Do you know what that means?
Stupid Nurse - Um...
Crippie - I'll take that as a no. This means it physically takes more energy to complete a task. Ok? I am not lazy. I am in an extreme amount of pain, I am extraordinarily tired... and I have to waste more of my energy educating know-it-alls like yourself.

Would I have contacted someone? Yup. Depending on the doctor's office there are surveys you can fill out about your experience. Heck, I might even demand to see someone at that very moment. Why? Because in a professional environment your job is to shut up and be nice to your "customer". In my line of work, if I ever called someone an "idiot" to their face (as tempting as it may be) I'd get fired. It is not appropriate and people need to learn that.

What can be done about it? It's hard to say because I hope these instances are just caused by lone idiots. On the whole "minor" healthcare employees aren't like this. If my orthopedist or my physical therapist said something implying I'm lazy, that would be another story because they know their stuff. What can cripples do about it? Again, it's hard to say because there are those "special snowflakes" out there who validate the opinions of those stupid nurses. All we can do is try to brace ourselves for the idiots. Memorize the spoon theory, come up with a general response. Something.

Now, it's pretty obvious that being called "lazy" strikes a nerve with me. While I've never been called lazy by strangers, people I know (various degrees of closeness) have implied that I'm lazy. For example, the act of grocery shopping is exhausting for me. When I return home I generally go lay down, leaving my able-bodied relatives to put away groceries. That sounds horrible, right? That's because it is. I cannot even begin to describe how guilty I feel that I cannot help. I should be helping them! I want to help, and I do whenever possible or absolutely necessary but it hurts, a whole lot. In college I couldn't do certain household chores, leaving my roommates to do them. That's not fair to them and I know that. I try to compensate by being the sole person to do the chores that I am physically able to do, but still to a degree I am a burden. I hate being a burden. Being called lazy implies that I am willingly making other people's lives difficult. I hate being a burden. I hate not being able to do things. I hate that I am putting a weight on someone else's shoulders. Being called lazy implies that I WANT to be like this, that I enjoy it. I didn't choose this, I don't want people to do things that I should be doing. This is not a "cripple perk" and it's insanely hurtful to think otherwise.

What can EVERYONE, normals and cripples alike do to alleviate the situation? Just try to be empathetic to other people's situations. Understand that you do not know the entire story and you don't know what everyone else on the planet is going through. As for the cripples that, like me, are riddled with guilt that they cannot do everything they should... I accepted long ago that life is not fair and everything will never be as it should. Just try your best to do whatever you can.

Something tells me people might react strongly to this, so please feel free to agree or disagree in the comment section. Am I being overly sensitive? A special snowflake? Spot on? Other?

Crippie's Tippie - DON'T CALL SOMEONE LAZY! 

P.S. - I have a follow up to the Lucy stories. I'll probably post in within the next few days. I was crazy tired and achy this week. Labor day weekend weather sucked beyond all reason and kicked my ass. 

Saturday, August 31, 2013

Lucy's Got Some 'Splainin To Do

Ohai Y'all!

Two posts in a week, I'm on a roll! I hope my lovely readers have been having a good week. The weather's been changing again... boo. Lucky for me my arms haven't been terrible, which, taking the barometric pressure changes into account is better than I expected. Unlucky for me, my back has been killing me! I don't have any known issues with my back and spine, me thinks the pain is a result of hip issues. I can't stand in one spot for more than 5 minutes. The solution? I'm looking into obtaining inserts for my shoes specifically for back problems. If that doesn't work, my plan b is to go back to using my crutch for instances where I know I'll be standing and or walking for long periods of time. Not ideal... but meh, what can ya do?

Apart from the pain I've been well. I celebrated my Grandma's 81st birthday on Thursday and today would have been my Grandpa's 83rd birthday. So the family celebrated by going to see a local production of "Footloose" and nomming on pizza. Definitely a good start to my weekend :3

Now... on to that title...

See that? See that adorable little pig? That's Lucy, and she's been in time out 5 times over the past two days. Miss Lucy-fer's been a raging asshole. Her crimes range from face and butt biting, fighting with Eleanor and Maggie, and my personal favorite... physically dragging Eleanor away from a food dish. *Sigh* I used to think Frida was naughty. Lucy wins. Lucy is by far the biggest butthead I have ever met. I checked her over and she's in heat, that and the fact that she's a baby explain the behavior. While checking her over I found that someone bit her in the face. Yeah, I tried to have a rational discussion with Lucy-fer that if she keeps acting inappropriately that she will keep getting injured like that. I don't think she listened because apparently she continued acting up while I was at work. The solution? Originally Lucy's time outs were comprised of solo time with a human and being scolded at while lying on her back. Clearly she doesn't care about that, so the new plan is a lil' more jail like. We have a travel case for vet visits. Lucy was tormenting Maggie earlier. Her punishment? Solitary confinement in the travel case. I'll keep ya updated about how the new time out system works. She behaved for the rest of the day after her release, let's hope she learned her lesson.

That's it for now I guess. I'm wishing all my readers a happy and healthy labor day weekend. 

Crippie's Tippie - If your pig gets into a squabble, check their mouths. It's a VERY common area for injuries. 

Monday, August 26, 2013



I hope y'all have had a wonderful week. My week has been pretty good. The weather has been changing again and my arms are feeling it. I've had to wrap each wrist once this week. I'll probably talk to my orthopedist about it, get some x-rays but that's about it. It's gonna have to get pretty bad for me to have surgery.

Moving on, Sunday was a pretty awesome day for me. Why? Cause I got new glasses! Ya see, being a graphic designer means you are staring at a computer for many hours at a time, looking at teeny tiny details. And this royally messes with your eyes. My eye sights been getting worse since my freshman year in college. Over the past few months it's gotten pretty bad. I was having more and more problems reading and seeing crap in general. So, over the weekend I took advantage of some dandy sales and got my ass over to Lenscrafters for a new pair of specs. The appointment went pretty well, except for that whole stupid glaucoma test they do. The thought of blowing air into my eye freaked me out and I kept moving. After I a few attempts I realized I needed to suck it up and get the damn test over with. Once that was over I had my actual exam. It's funny, I mentioned to the doctor that I have a genetic disorder and that it shouldn't effect my vision. Her response "your disorder might not effect your vision but your meds do!" Apparently all my handy dandy pain meds and anti-inflamatories relax my eyes. Who knew!  Apart from that nifty bit of information the appointment went as to be expected. Once the appointment was over I got to pick out some snazzy new frames. Funness! I have found that on the whole, most shapes of glasses don't work with my face. I've accepted this fact and I turn it into a game of "How terrible can Crippie look?" Here are some of my favorite pics.

It's such a shame those John Lennon/Harry Potter glasses didn't work out. They'd be so bad ass! And yes, I totally tried on a bunch of unattractive hipster glasses and texted various people saying "OMG don't you love my new glasses <3333333333" I can be such an asshole at times. 

After a brief "ok, stop goofing around with hipster glasses" search I found a nifty pair of glasses that suits my face shape. YAY ME! More importantly, I was able to pick up my glasses within an hour. w000000000000t. As soon as I put on my glasses I was like "HOLY CRAP! EVERYTHING IS SO CRISP!" I kid you not the past few days have essentially been "Read ALL the things!" I'm probably annoying everyone in my house with the whole "I CAN READ THE THING ON THE WALL" jabber. Oh well... wanna see my glasses?

They're not all that different from my old frames, they're slightly rounder and the color is different. Naturally I painted my nails to match my glasses. In case y'all haven't noticed... I'm really excited about being able to see again. It's seriously an amazing feeling. 

And apart from ZOMG I GOT GLASSES news... I've started watching "Orange Is The New Black" on Netflix (three episodes in). I'm not addicted yet, but it's a fun show. It'll keep my occupied for a lil' while at least. BTW if any of you are interested, the lady who plays "Crazy Eyes" was in a recent revival of "Godspell" on Broadway. She did a lovely rendition of "By My Side". You can check it the audio here.

So that's it for tonight. I think I'll be spending the next few days reading whatever I can get a hold of.

Crippie's Tippie - Designers need to be super careful not to strain their eyes. Time away from the computer is a good thing.

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Random Crippie Crap!

Ohai Y'all!

I hope y'all are having a lovely week thus far. Thankfully I've been pretty well. I don't exactly have a lot of material to write a blog post about, so in the spirit of blogging regularly I figured I'd update y'all on all the random happenings of my life.

- My arms have for the most part been cooperating with me. YAY! They'll still catch from time to time, but it's just for a moment and it goes away. I haven't had to brace either of my wrists in a week. That's kinda a big deal cause I usually have to brace one of my arms at least once a week. Me thinks it was a weather shift causing all these problems. Freaking weather.

- The piggies are fatties. Tonight I was finally able to weigh the babies. Eleanor is a whopping 1,200 grams (a little shy of 2.5 pounds), Prudence is 1,000 grams, and Lucy is 1,050 grams. At least I think Lucy is 1,050 grams... you need to sit still to get an accurate measurement, and Lucy does not know the meaning of "sit still". I also gave Eleanor and Lucy their first ever nail trims. I am happy to report that I lived through the ordeal. Eleanor will forgive me sooner or later.

- Helen hasn't been feeling very well over the past few days. She's not sick or anything, but she got five shots on Saturday, and she's a terrible patient. So we've had a stoned lil' Shih Tzu on our hands. She spent the weekend either whining, crying, or sleeping, sometimes all three at once. Don't worry though, she started feeling better today.

- Angel has also been feeling "off" she has allergies and skin related stuff going on. She got some new medicines over the week and she has been bouncing off walls and humping pillows like a mad woman. She's quite happy with her life at the moment.

- I bought a book last week. If you knew me you'd know how much of a shock this is. I don't read, at all. I just don't have the attention span for it. What did I obtain? I bought "Maus" by Art Spiegelman. It's a graphic novel about the Holocaust. While I can't really read, I lurv me some graphic novels. The words are broken up enough to keep my attention, plus the pictures help too. I haven't started reading it yet, but I look forward to it. Can any of my lovely readers recommend any other good graphic novels for me? I've already read (and loved) Persepolis and I'm currently reading "The Walking Dead" issue by issue.

- I was surprisingly social this weekend. I had some friends over on Saturday to meet the piggies and have ice cream. My friends loved my piggies and my piggies loved my friends, judging by how the pigs opted to not wee on anyone! On Sunday I had another friend over for pizza, a movie, and course playing with pigs. The babies got oodles of attention this weekend and I'm pretty sure they enjoyed themselves.

Well, that's about it over here. I hope y'all have a lovely week. Until next time!

Crippie's Tippie - Have issues reading? Give graphic novels a go. 

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Seven Nation Arm-y


Sorry I've been away from the blog, I do have an explanation though. But first... PIGGIES!

The piggies are continuing to settle down and accept their roles in their little "society". Nellie is the boss pig, and Lucy has lovingly turned into her evil little minion. Lucy will gladly do Nellie's bidding. Recently Nellie's bidding mainly consists of nipping Eleanor in the butt. Lucy has been put in time out on multiple occasions for cornering Eleanor and repeatedly biting her. NOBODY BITES BABY IN A CORNER! Eleanor has kinda turned into a lil' recluse, she enjoys her hide-y places. It's funny how the song she's named after fits her personality. Prudence has probably taken the adjustment the easiest, her hobbies include comfortably lounging wherever possible and hanging around Maggie. Maggie has grown to accept the babies and she's actually quite fond of the attention they give her.

Last night I gave Eleanor some extra attention because miss Lucy-fer decided to block her into a corner on two separate occasions in one day! Poor baby needed some snuggles. So she got some extra cuddle time with me watchin' TV. While her experiences with "Wheel of Fortune" didn't amaze her "The Colbert Report" blew her little mind. She stood on my hand and watched the entire episode. She then browsed reddit with me and eventually fell asleep on my arm. Too freaking cute.
God I'm adorable...

Selfie! #NoMakeup ;)

Taking a snooze on mommy
Told ya she was freakin' cute.

Ok... moving on to why I was absent for a lil' over a week. Well...

Yup, BOTH of my arms have been bothering me for the past week or so! GO ME! Bothering is a wee bit of an understatement... MY ARMS FREAKING HURT! I think something either in my right forearm or elbow caught, basically rendering my entire arm useless. I used my handy dandy ace bandage to alleviate the problem for the time being. As for my left... I'm pretty sure something caught in my forearm towards my wrist. Again, ace bandage and hope I can manage it on my own. I wasn't posting because while I technically can type with one hand, I only do that when I HAVE to. Not exactly a comfortable thing to do. Plus, it would take ages to write the damn post! Oh well... fingers crossed that I won't need surgery for these bastards.
At least my nails look awesome :D

The tumors seem to have unhooked themselves for now *knocks on wood*. If it keeps happening then it's off to the orthopedist I go! If it's a problem with the arm I can deal, that would be a fairly simple surgery. If it's in the elbow region... eh... that could be trickier. Anything near a joint is always harder. Even then, it's my right hand... not my dominant one. It would probably be a harder recovery... but I'd live. Meh... in the meantime I'm just gonna act like it won't be a massive problem and hope that my tumors listen.

Crippie's Tippie - If you use ace bandages, try to obtain ones with velcro and or some type of self-adhesive capability. Nothin' worse that getting poked by those stupid pointy metal fasteners. (the ace bandage in the picture is velcro BTW, pretty sure I saved it from a surgery)

Thursday, August 1, 2013

Its For Me To Know And For You To Never Find Out!


Hope you are all having a lovely week thus far. The weather sucked today so I was in a lot of pain, apart from that I've been having a dandy week. I'm still chillin' with relatives and I'm still a crazy guinea pig lady. The piggies are continuing their adjustment and there appears to be a new power struggle... Lucy somehow got it into her adorable lil' noggin that SHE is the boss! She has been biting butts left and right. Nellie is not pleased with this, but she hasn't attacked Lucy back. She's kinda like "DID SHE JUST BITE ME IN THE ASS? WTF!" Due to this new behavior Lucy has gained the nickname "Lucyfer". We give very loving nicknames in this house. This sudden asshole-ish turn can be chalked up to one thing, Lucy is a baby. Baby guinea pigs are raging assholes. Maggie used to be a raging asshole (when we first met her she was literally using Aggie as a trampoline) but she has since settled down. Frida was a butt for the longest time, and she grew out of most of her butthole tendencies. What do we do about Lucy going through her "terrible twos"? Simple, when we catch her being a butt we give her a gentle flick to the bum, and if she's being a RAGING asshole she goes into time out (you hold them on their backs, a vulnerable position). Sooner or later she'll learn to behave. In the meantime though, it's extraordinarily humorous to watch.

Moving on cripple topics. I'm gonna tell y'all a story about a lil' incident that happened to me a few weeks ago. I'm omitting a crap ton of details, but y'all can get the gist of it. Ok, so here's what happened. I was in a place with a lot of people that I am sorta familiar with, by that I mean I know their names and while I talk with them I know NOTHING about them or their lives. I had an ace bandage around my wrist because it was hurting me, anywhoo... a lady approaches me. The conversation goes as follows...

Lady - Oh no! What's wrong with your wrist?
Crippie - Oh, it's a long story (My general manner is implying that I do not want to talk about it)
Lady - Oh really? 
Crippie - I hurt my wrist
Lady - Oh? (she doesn't leave me alone, she's looking at me, waiting for me tell her what's wrong)
Crippie - Um... carpal tunnel syndrome
Lady - Does that ace bandage help you? (at this point I am getting annoyed)
Crippie - Yeah, it keeps things in place
Lady - I don't like ace bandages... 

She then continued freaking talking to me about ace bandages being constricting. I'm pretty sure that when she left me alone my face was like 0.o . I bet some of my longtime readers are like "Hold up Crippie, haven't you said on numerous occasions that you are comfortable with telling people why you are disabled?" You would be correct. On the whole I'm pretty comfortable with telling people why I am disabled, people are curious and there is nothing you can do about that. But 1 major thing has changed since I said that... I no longer walk with a cane. It was obvious I was sick before so there was no use trying to hide it. Now that I look fairly "normal" and I like for people to consider me as such. These days when people I do not know ask me about something I say "it's a long story" and leave it at that. Most people understand that I am politely saying "none of your damn business" and they respect my wishes. This lady however, either did not understand and or did not care. She does not need to know how sick I am, so I lied and said I had carpal tunnel syndrome. I'm not sure what pissed me off more, the fact that she was trying to pry into my life like that or that even when she got her "answer" she kept asking about my ace bandage. Hypothetically if I did have carpal tunnel... OF COURSE AN ACE BANDAGE HELPS!!! I don't even have it and I know how painful it is. Why do you see people with carpal tunnel wearing wrist braces? BECAUSE IT HELPS RELIEVE THE PAIN! UGH!

Well... that whole experience was irritating to say the least. I wish I could say it was a lone instance, but alas... I had another woman try to wheedle information out of me before. Look, Crippie understands that you lurv yourself some gossip, but it's none of your damn business. Please, respect my wishes when I don't want to talk about it.

Crippie's Tippie - Somebody doesn't wanna tell you something? Don't force them into telling you. Unless your a cop or something, then by all means force away

Monday, July 29, 2013

One Week

Yes I am singing that Barenaked Ladies song to myself right now.

I hope y'all have had a fabulous week. I've been pretty busy with the family and of course the n00b piggies.

Lucy, Eleanor and Prudence are slowly but surely adjusting to life with their new cage, new humans, and new buddies. Over the past week their relationship with Nellie & Maggie has grown from "We'll let you live... for now" to "I tolerate you, but I will keeeeeeeeeel you if you steal my lettuce". The n00bs definitely look up to Nellie and Maggie and see them as annoying older siblings who occasionally bite them in the ass. Lucy LOVES Nellie, she sees her as the ultimate role model. Nellie has already taught her the art of begging for noms.

Prudence is in awe of Maggie but mainly the new contraption that is "The Giant Talking Box" (the TV) she watched "Wheel of Fortune" with us and was completely enthralled with it. Eleanor was also highly intrigued by the talking box, but it took her longer to realize how awesome it was. They have also learned the art of screaming whenever someone enters the kitchen. I'm working on teaching them that my whistling means food, not the kitchen floor squeaking. It'll probably take a little bit of practice but no one here minds the wheeking, it's adorable. In the past I taught the pigs that the intro to "Moves Like Jagger" and or "Dueling Banjos" meant food and that the theme from Jaws meant they were about to be tickled.

While they're getting more comfortable with their surroundings, Eleanor and Prudence are very timid. Here's Pru's face and Eleanor's butt. They are very comfortable with being snuggled by humans though. They really enjoy snuggles.

Nellie & Eleanor have pretty much settled their differences. Nellie is the boss, and she is completely content with that role. She's enjoying bossing the other pigs around. I do not see her moping around the cage anymore. I have not seen her or Maggie laying down where Frida died. The n00bs definitely have helped them move on.
Maggie is slowly but surely adjusting to the n00bs, she no longer cowers in fear in corners. She does however get very territorial over this hide-y. She loves it and threatens to keeeeeeel any pig that dare think they are welcome in it.

As for Aggie, Fat Bastard is still blissfully enjoying her solitude. Her new favorite hiding place is under the ramp for the second level to her cage. She's afraid to walk up the ramp, but she'll sleep under it.

Well, that's about it for now. I really should attempt to get some sleep. YAY INSOMNIA! 

Crippie's Tippie - Buy your guinea pig supplies (hay, bedding, food, whatever) in bulk

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Piggie Post: NEW PIGGIES!


As promised, here's the story of our new additions...

Ok, well it started the day after Frida passed. As I mentioned in a prior post Nellie and Maggie were very mopey. The mopey-ness progressed over the next few days, and one of the only cures for the loss of a piggie friend is a new piggie friend, plus I really was not happy with the emptiness of the herd. So on Wednesday I started my search for a new pig, but it had to be the RIGHT new pig. Generally speaking it's easier to introduce babies and senior pigs to an existing group. A senior pig was unfortunately out of the question because I cannot stand the thought of losing another pig right now. I needed a baby pig. First I went to PetFinder. There were a few baby pigs in rescues about an hour away, they didn't scream out "MINE" but I kept 'em in my maybe file. I decided to check out Craigslist for teh lulz. Usually Craigslist pigs either come from a) Idiots who "don't have time" for their pigs anymore, or b) breeders. FUN FACT: If you see a Craigslist post for a baby guinea pig without the word "rehoming" or "adoption" fee, they are breeders. Do not support them. Most of the posts were idiots selling pigs, but none of them were close to me. I scrolled down a little and found a post from a month ago from my area. A rescue had acquired 3 young female pigs and they were looking to adopt them out. I figured I'd shoot the rescue an email inquiring about the pigs. Honestly I wasn't expecting much out of this inquiry, it was a month old after all. Anyways, flash forward to 15 minutes later. I get a facebook message from the rescue... because I went to high school with the person running the rescue! Small world ain't it? She told me that the piggies were still available, after I answered the basic adoption form questions she said I sounded like the perfect owner for the pigs.

Here's the thing, there was always a chance that the new pigs would not get along with Nellie and Maggie, if that was the case I offered to foster the pigs until a better home could be found. We settled on that agreement Thursday. So... when I wrote that post about wanting new pigs I actually had these pigs lined up. I would've mentioned 'em, but I didn't want to jinx anything.

I arranged to pick them up yesterday. Once I met the new pigs I knew they'd be mine. They were so friggin cute! First thing I did though was double checked that they were all girls. Seriously, whenever you obtain a guinea pig CHECK THE GENDER FIRST! Once I was certain they were all girls they were placed in a box and into my car (the box had a seatbelt around it). They were very good during the car ride and barely made a peep, granted that was probably because they were freaking terrified. By this point Nellie and Maggie were clearly sad so I wanted to get this introduction over with ASAP. They needed friends damn it! So the new pigs were placed in a giant playpen in my living room with Nellie, Maggie and a big ass bowl of salad. The biggest tip I can give anyone who is introducing pigs is feed them. The food distracts them enough and kinda works as a "peace pipe". The introduction went fairly smoothly. Two of the new pigs and Maggie quickly accepted recessive roles. However Nellie and one of the new pigs did not. New pig thought SHE was the boss and Nellie thought SHE was the boss. So they spent an hour running around the cage and biting each other's butts. I supervised with a towel to break up any bad fights, but I mostly let them work it out. Remember, as long as no blood is shed they're ok. Eventually they got tired and stopped fighting. By this point all of the other pigs were sleeping so I declared the introduction a success. I put all five pigs in their new cage expecting a new battle but I was pleasantly surprised. The new pigs were like "THERE ARE SO MANY TOYS HERE" and happily roamed around the cage. Nellie would periodically bite one in the ass, but again to be expected. Maggie clearly does not like change as she spent a few hours hiding in a corner. The cute thing was one of the new pigs loves Maggie, she would sit by her while she was cowering in fear. Again, no blood was drawn so that means that over the next few days the "Quints" will learn to be buddies. That also means that I am again the proud owner of six guinea pigs.

Wanna meet my new babies?!?!

This is Eleanor, she is a grey, cream, roan and white shorthair. Her coloring is so unique, I love it. She is the one who was fighting with Nellie. Even though she is the dominant one of the new pigs she's very timid at the moment. She SCREAMS when you touch her in the cage (she's louder than Aggie which says something) but once you remove her from the cage and put her on your lap she turns into quite the snugglebug. She kinda reminds me of Emma sometimes.

This is Prudence. She's a white, cream, black, and chocolate brown shorthair. Again, beautiful color and such a pretty face. She is, without question, the sweetest freakin' thing I've ever seen in my life. She is enthralled with Maggie and she LOVES her new humans. She loves to give nuzzles and kisses. She was actually kissing my grandma's face earlier. SO DAMN ADORABLE!

Last but not least, this is Lucy. She's a black, red and white shorthair. She has the same coloring as Frida and some of her marking are similar. I think she is a month or two younger than the other two. Here she is sleeping through the introduction. Lucy can be best described as "special", apart from sleeping through intros her hobbies include fearlessly wandering the cage, outsmarting other pigs for food, sleeping by water bottles, and apparently swimming. As if her having similar markings and colors to Frida, they also share a similar manner when dealing with humans. Lucy's idea of being affectionate is nibbling you. Not quite as painful as a bite, but not a pleasant experience. Oh well... nothin' time won't fix. In the meantime, Lucy can only be handled by people who don't mind the nibbles.

I cannot begin to describe how happy all of the humans in house are. We felt incomplete before them. Losing Mama Pig and Frida in such a short time put a massive hole in our hearts. I'm actually getting kinda emotional right now just thinking about them. Lucy, Eleanor and Prudence are not "replacement pigs". I will never be able to replace Frida, regardless of how Lucy is eerily similar to her at times. Prudence is quite the cuddler, but she's not Mama Pig. Eleanor is a cuddly lil' butthole, but she's not Emma. Now that all the pigs are settling in everything feels as it should. Everything is back to normal, a new normal, but a normal nonetheless.

Crippie's Tippie - Never buy a pig from a pet store, always adopt

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...