On Handicap Parking Spaces

Greetings!

I hope all my lovely readers are enjoying this FRIGID COLD WEATHER! Ugh, I swear Mother Nature is an evil, evil woman. When I'm not at work or doing stuff and or thangs for my resolutions I am in bed with a heat pack. Crippie hates cold weather and cold weather hates Crippie. My joints get really stiff during this time of year, it's hard to move :( which leads me to tonight's topic... handicap parking permits. Prepare for a cripple rant folks!

<rant>
One of my biggest pet peeves ever is when normals park in handicap spaces. It just makes my blood boil. Why? Partly because it's against the law and I am not a fan of law breaking in general. Mainly because it's rude and inconsiderate. Let me tell y'all a little story. At a place where I spend a great deal of time there is a smallish parking lot with one handicap space. I use this space most of the time because I freaking need to. Well... sometimes this parking lot gets a little crowded. What happens when the parking lot gets full? Normals stop caring about decency and laws and park in the handicap spot! I've seen people who I know go on daily hikes and are on volleyball teams parking in the handicap spot! There are places to park near this parking lot where these very active people could park... but no, they don't they take my spot! I actually had to say something to people high up at this place and told them to send a memo for people reminding them that it is illegal and wrong to park in a handicap spot without a sticker. Some people weren't pleased with me, but I don't care. I don't care about how crowded a parking lot gets. I don't care if it's only for a second. I really don't care if you have to walk an extra minute out of your way. You can walk. You'll live. If you are a normal these spots do not belong to you. They belong to people like me. We have earned our blue stickers and we pay a very heavy price for them.

This applies to other special parking spots too. Don't park in the "expecting mothers" spot unless you've got a really uncomfortable pregnant lady in your car. They're carrying an extra 30 pounds of small human, let them have their damn spot.

I'm not being a special snowflake here. I am not taking advantage of a system. I try to park in normal spots when my legs permit. I do park in normal spots when the handicap spots are taken. It's painful to walk sometimes, but I manage. This isn't entitlement. This isn't "oh I'm disabled... give me a good spot". No, being disabled is not just a term, there is baggage that goes with it... pain, restricted mobility, countless insanely valid reasons why I genuinely need to park closer to a building.

Being a dick is not a disability, thus you can park elsewhere!
</rant>

Yeaaaaaaahhh... Crippie gets angry sometimes. So what do y'all think? Am I being too harsh? Not harsh enough? Should I print out business cards to stick on the windshields saying "Being a dick is not a disability"? Share your thoughts, I wanna hear 'em! And yes I do know that cripples abuse the handicap sticker but for the sake of today's argument I'm just talking about normals parking in the spots without a permit.

Crippie's Tippie - Before you get mad at a car/driver, check their license plate to make sure they don't have a handicap plate. I know too many people who have bitched out cripples because they didn't see the plates.

The L-Word

Howdy Y'all!

First off, I gotta give a shout out to my Jewish readers, have a happy and healthy new year. L'shana tova!

Next, I've got a cripple question from the lovely Rachel from "Fluted Cups & Ampersands". Her post was essentially about being called lazy by a nurse at a doctor's appointment, and Rachel wanted some input from other cripples about the situation. Here's my two cents (and probable cripple rant)

If hypothetically a nurse called me a "cripple", "gimp" or any fun technically offensive word I wouldn't think much of it. I'd probably start laughing hysterically actually. BUT if some nurse had the audacity to call me lazy all hell would break loose. Being called "lazy" is probably the worst thing you could say to a cripple, if not the worst it's in the top 10. Why? Because being lazy implies that you are making a conscious choice that you don't want to do something simply because you don't feel like it. I have chronic pain and fatigue, so when I cannot do something it's not because I don't WANT to something, it's because I CANNOT! Calling a cripple lazy implies that you think they are lying, weak, annoying, etc. It's extraordinarily insensitive and extremely hurtful, especially coming from people who do not know what they're talking about.

What would I have done in this situation? Thankfully I have not been called lazy by a total stranger so I can only use my imagination here. Gauging from the fact that it was a professional setting and probably other people around, I'd probably rip 'em a new asshole... politely of course ;) The conversation would probably go as followed...
Stupid Nurse - *some snarky comment about me being lazy*
Crippie - Excuse me? I... I'm sorry, I didn't catch that. Did you just call me lazy?
Stupid Nurse - *insert another well thought out comment*
Crippie - How many tumors are on your skeleton at this very moment?
Stupid  Nurse - Um... none
Crippie - I have hundreds of tumors all over my body. HUNDREDS. Do you know what that means?
Stupid Nurse - Um... no
Crippie - What a surprise! Well, let me educate the expert here. These tumors cause pain and restrict mobility. Do you know what that means?
Stupid Nurse - Um...
Crippie - I'll take that as a no. This means it physically takes more energy to complete a task. Ok? I am not lazy. I am in an extreme amount of pain, I am extraordinarily tired... and I have to waste more of my energy educating know-it-alls like yourself.

Would I have contacted someone? Yup. Depending on the doctor's office there are surveys you can fill out about your experience. Heck, I might even demand to see someone at that very moment. Why? Because in a professional environment your job is to shut up and be nice to your "customer". In my line of work, if I ever called someone an "idiot" to their face (as tempting as it may be) I'd get fired. It is not appropriate and people need to learn that.

What can be done about it? It's hard to say because I hope these instances are just caused by lone idiots. On the whole "minor" healthcare employees aren't like this. If my orthopedist or my physical therapist said something implying I'm lazy, that would be another story because they know their stuff. What can cripples do about it? Again, it's hard to say because there are those "special snowflakes" out there who validate the opinions of those stupid nurses. All we can do is try to brace ourselves for the idiots. Memorize the spoon theory, come up with a general response. Something.

Now, it's pretty obvious that being called "lazy" strikes a nerve with me. While I've never been called lazy by strangers, people I know (various degrees of closeness) have implied that I'm lazy. For example, the act of grocery shopping is exhausting for me. When I return home I generally go lay down, leaving my able-bodied relatives to put away groceries. That sounds horrible, right? That's because it is. I cannot even begin to describe how guilty I feel that I cannot help. I should be helping them! I want to help, and I do whenever possible or absolutely necessary but it hurts, a whole lot. In college I couldn't do certain household chores, leaving my roommates to do them. That's not fair to them and I know that. I try to compensate by being the sole person to do the chores that I am physically able to do, but still to a degree I am a burden. I hate being a burden. Being called lazy implies that I am willingly making other people's lives difficult. I hate being a burden. I hate not being able to do things. I hate that I am putting a weight on someone else's shoulders. Being called lazy implies that I WANT to be like this, that I enjoy it. I didn't choose this, I don't want people to do things that I should be doing. This is not a "cripple perk" and it's insanely hurtful to think otherwise.

What can EVERYONE, normals and cripples alike do to alleviate the situation? Just try to be empathetic to other people's situations. Understand that you do not know the entire story and you don't know what everyone else on the planet is going through. As for the cripples that, like me, are riddled with guilt that they cannot do everything they should... I accepted long ago that life is not fair and everything will never be as it should. Just try your best to do whatever you can.

Something tells me people might react strongly to this, so please feel free to agree or disagree in the comment section. Am I being overly sensitive? A special snowflake? Spot on? Other?

Crippie's Tippie - DON'T CALL SOMEONE LAZY! 

P.S. - I have a follow up to the Lucy stories. I'll probably post in within the next few days. I was crazy tired and achy this week. Labor day weekend weather sucked beyond all reason and kicked my ass. 

How To Piss Off Crippie

Ohai!

This isn't a giant cripple rant post! I'm just answering a cripple question... I SWEAR!

Before I get to the cripple question, I must make a tiny confession. Today (yesterday, whatever) I was going to go to the animal shelter and adopt the walking wig that is Meatloaf, but alas... he found a home on Saturday. Congrats to Meatloaf's new owners... let's hope he gets a nice hair trim. Crippie will continue to check Petfinder and Craigslist for piggies. Who knows, maybe one of these days I'll find a piggie to add to my herd. Just a quick tip for people searching Craigslist for piggies... be wary of people selling baby pigs, they could very well be "back-door breeders". These guys know little about pig genetics and you could very easily wind up with a very sick little pig. Not to mention the whole breeding is insanely dangerous for the mommy and the babies thing.

Moving on, since posting some of my infamous "STOP COMPLAINING" cripple rants I've been asked "Apart from your oh so subtle hatred of complaining, do normals do anything else to grind your gears?"

Well, the complaining thing is without a doubt my top pet peeve. I find it absolutely infuriating at times. Crippie does have some other pet peeves that annoy the hell out of me. Again, these peeves annoy me... they don't make me really angry or anything, they just piss me off.

This Is Just God's Way Of _______________

Sorry if this offends anyone, but when anyone tells me that my disability is part of God's plan for me, or God's way of teaching me something I get annoyed. The concept of God wanting me suffer seems so cruel. I can't imagine a loving God willingly doing that to a person. I hate this approach to disability in general. There is no reason for people to be disabled... it just happens. Crippie can however recognize that people are entitled to their own religious opinions. Whenever someone tells me this I usually just keep my mouth shut and brush it off. 

OMG YOU'RE SO LUCKY!!!!

There are perks to being a cripple, and these perks are nice to have (handicapped parking, etc.) But when a Normal tells me that I'm lucky for having these perks I get angry. When I was in school so many people would tell me how lucky I was that I didn't have to go to gym class. Crippie wanted to say "Don't you know how lucky you are that you CAN go to gym class?!?!?!". People don't realize that while cripples do have the occasional benefit we pay a heavy price for them. I would much rather be a normal without the perks than be a cripple with the perks. 

Stop Being Lazy!

Crippie has chronic fatigue, so I get very tired very easily. I hate when people call me lazy for one reason or another. CRIPPIE IS NOT LAZY! CRIPPIE IS GENUINELY TIRED!!! 

and on an issue unrelated to disability "You know that people eat guinea pigs right?"

OMG STOP, CRIPPIE IS AWARE THAT PEOPLE EAT GUINEA PIGS! You can stop telling me stories about how some dude on the food channel ate a guinea pig, or sending me a video of people picking out their piggie, cooking them, and eating them. First off, people don't technically eat guinea pigs, they eat Cuy, a larger version of guinea pigs. Second, my piggies are my babies, I DO NOT WANT TO THINK OF THEM DEAD! It's not funny. It's not nice. Next time someone jokes about eating one of my pigs because they are wheeking, I'll take that pig out and make them urinate on the offender. Crippie knows how to make them pee on command. I'll do it. Nobody puts my babies in a corner! 

That's about it, the piggie one probably annoys me most of all. In other news, Crippie is still trying to go to sleep. I tried playing The Sims last night in order to get me tired... it kinda worked. Tonight I tried blogging... CLEARLY did not work seeing as how it's almost 5 in the morning. Crippie wishes she were more like her babies, they can sleep anywhere at any time.

If I fits, I sleeps

Food Coma snuggles

Crippie's Tippie - If you tell a cripple that they are lucky to have a disability, there is a fair chance that they will beat your senseless with their mobility aid.

Normals Say The Darndest Things!

Sup Y'all?

The Mama Pig Update - Mama Pig was stable today to I opted to just let her rest for the night.

Crippie's been sharing that video I posted yesterday to several of my crippled buddies... we are all in agreement that it is 110% true and equally hilarious. We've also been telling one another "OMG YOU'RE SO BRAVE" or "YOU'RE SUCH AN INSPIRATION"... it's now an inside joke. 

Ah Normals, can't live with 'em... can't live without 'em ;) Seriously y'all there were a few normals that were really pissing Crippie off today. They didn't do or say anything to me personally thankfully... but here's what happened... Crippie was browsing facebook when all of the sudden she sees a status along the lines of "having foot surgery tomorrow... I can't wait to do all those fun summer things like running and hiking... oh wait". That status kinda ticked Crippie off. I wanted to write "WELCOME TO MY WORLD BITCHEZZZ" but alas... I don't think it would have been appropriate. Well, now Crippie is kinda peeved and looking at facebook, I then see a link to an acquaintance's blog. Said normal has recently injured her ankle and will be needing surgery to fix it. I figured I'd read the blog to check up on how the normal is doing... I really regret doing that. The normal was blogging about how hard her life is with her broken ankle and how she can't do anything, how she wanted to die because a boy decided to flirt with an "able bodied" person over her", just an over all pity party. You would think that Crippie would be all like "OMG I'm so glad you've seen the error of your normal ways, you know what it's like to lose something!" but no... this whole thing got me really, really, really angry... ready for a Crippie Rant people... Crippie's doing a stream of conscious rant... brace yourselves

<CrippieRant>

Alright normals, you want a pity party? Do you really expect me to feel bad for you? Guess what... I don't. I don't care about your trivial TEMPORARY problems. You broke your ankle? That sucks but guess what, you'll recover. How dare you have the audacity to complain about how hard your life is because you broke a god damned bone! You are not disabled, you have no idea how it really effects our lives. Don't you dare compare having a minor, temporary problem to being disabled. Crippie isn't being a complete asshole here... I know what the person will have to go through, she'll need surgery to fix the bones and she'll probs need some pins put in to set the bones... BIG FRIGGIN DEAL. Crippie has hardware in her ankle... IT'S NOT THAT BAD. My recovery from ankle surgery was relatively doable. Not to mention I was a whole freakin' decade younger than this normal when I had my ankle surgery. This is gonna sound horrible but when Crippie hears a normal complaining about something stupid I feel happy that they are suffering. If something so trivial makes you that upset you deserve to suffer. If these normals were in my shoes they'd be beyond miserable. I honestly think that some of these people would kill themselves if they were placed in my shoes. 

I think it's safe to say that hearing normals complain about something that I regularly go through like it's the end of their God damned world makes me really upset. It sucks that they are going through a temporary rough patch, but it's not the end of the world, and they will recover STOP BITCHING ABOUT IT. This whole thing really makes me livid... I dunno maybe it's because I am jealous of their ability to recover and go back to being a normal. I can recover from a surgery but at the end of the day I'm still crippled. I don't complain because I know there are people far less fortunate than I am, and I know that I am lucky for the things I do have. I could do entire posts about how my life is so hard and how much pain I'm in but I don't. I'll mention that I'm in pain but I don't whine about it. There is a difference between stating the facts and trying to evoke pity. Crippie doesn't want a pity party. Hearing people say "OMG I'm so sorry for you" makes me feel worse! 

I don't believe in pity partying unless it's something realllllllyyyyyyyyyy bad. Your kid has cancer? Okay, that is absolutely horrible so I'll join that party. Someone died? I'll join your pity party. If it's something serious, by all means... let it out. If it's not really bad, shut up.

It might seem like Crippie is really bitter about this, and that's because I am. These normals are so terribly lucky to be normals, seeing them squander things that I never got the chance to have hurts. It hurts a lot. So please normals, step outside of your boxes for a second and realize how much you have, sure those little glitches in life are rather inconvenient, but guess what... THAT'S LIFE. Life is full of ups and downs, you just have to recognize that those glitches are part of life. Deal with them and move on.

And last but not least... JUST BECAUSE YOU BROKE YOUR ANKLE THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU ARE A CRIPPLE!

</CrippieRant>

*Sigh* Sorry if that made no damn sense or offended anyone. Believe it or not Crippie actually calmed herself down before writing this. Crippie was absolutely livid, and it takes a LOT to get Crippie really angry. Normally I can rationalize situations and my general delays usually help me stay calm... but not this time. Crippie is well aware that these were not personal attacks, but I take them personally nonetheless. And yes, Crippie also sees the irony of complaining about other people complaining and I might feel weird about this post later... but for now I'm still angry and I don't care.

Crippie's Tippie - Follow the 10-80-10 rule... 10% of your life is completely awesome moments (getting married, etc), 10% of your life will suck beyond all reason (something dies), the rest is in the middle... it's up to you whether or not you want your life awesome or not. I choose to let my life be awesome... I save my sadness for when I need it.