The L-Word

Howdy Y'all!

First off, I gotta give a shout out to my Jewish readers, have a happy and healthy new year. L'shana tova!

Next, I've got a cripple question from the lovely Rachel from "Fluted Cups & Ampersands". Her post was essentially about being called lazy by a nurse at a doctor's appointment, and Rachel wanted some input from other cripples about the situation. Here's my two cents (and probable cripple rant)

If hypothetically a nurse called me a "cripple", "gimp" or any fun technically offensive word I wouldn't think much of it. I'd probably start laughing hysterically actually. BUT if some nurse had the audacity to call me lazy all hell would break loose. Being called "lazy" is probably the worst thing you could say to a cripple, if not the worst it's in the top 10. Why? Because being lazy implies that you are making a conscious choice that you don't want to do something simply because you don't feel like it. I have chronic pain and fatigue, so when I cannot do something it's not because I don't WANT to something, it's because I CANNOT! Calling a cripple lazy implies that you think they are lying, weak, annoying, etc. It's extraordinarily insensitive and extremely hurtful, especially coming from people who do not know what they're talking about.

What would I have done in this situation? Thankfully I have not been called lazy by a total stranger so I can only use my imagination here. Gauging from the fact that it was a professional setting and probably other people around, I'd probably rip 'em a new asshole... politely of course ;) The conversation would probably go as followed...
Stupid Nurse - *some snarky comment about me being lazy*
Crippie - Excuse me? I... I'm sorry, I didn't catch that. Did you just call me lazy?
Stupid Nurse - *insert another well thought out comment*
Crippie - How many tumors are on your skeleton at this very moment?
Stupid  Nurse - Um... none
Crippie - I have hundreds of tumors all over my body. HUNDREDS. Do you know what that means?
Stupid Nurse - Um... no
Crippie - What a surprise! Well, let me educate the expert here. These tumors cause pain and restrict mobility. Do you know what that means?
Stupid Nurse - Um...
Crippie - I'll take that as a no. This means it physically takes more energy to complete a task. Ok? I am not lazy. I am in an extreme amount of pain, I am extraordinarily tired... and I have to waste more of my energy educating know-it-alls like yourself.

Would I have contacted someone? Yup. Depending on the doctor's office there are surveys you can fill out about your experience. Heck, I might even demand to see someone at that very moment. Why? Because in a professional environment your job is to shut up and be nice to your "customer". In my line of work, if I ever called someone an "idiot" to their face (as tempting as it may be) I'd get fired. It is not appropriate and people need to learn that.

What can be done about it? It's hard to say because I hope these instances are just caused by lone idiots. On the whole "minor" healthcare employees aren't like this. If my orthopedist or my physical therapist said something implying I'm lazy, that would be another story because they know their stuff. What can cripples do about it? Again, it's hard to say because there are those "special snowflakes" out there who validate the opinions of those stupid nurses. All we can do is try to brace ourselves for the idiots. Memorize the spoon theory, come up with a general response. Something.

Now, it's pretty obvious that being called "lazy" strikes a nerve with me. While I've never been called lazy by strangers, people I know (various degrees of closeness) have implied that I'm lazy. For example, the act of grocery shopping is exhausting for me. When I return home I generally go lay down, leaving my able-bodied relatives to put away groceries. That sounds horrible, right? That's because it is. I cannot even begin to describe how guilty I feel that I cannot help. I should be helping them! I want to help, and I do whenever possible or absolutely necessary but it hurts, a whole lot. In college I couldn't do certain household chores, leaving my roommates to do them. That's not fair to them and I know that. I try to compensate by being the sole person to do the chores that I am physically able to do, but still to a degree I am a burden. I hate being a burden. Being called lazy implies that I am willingly making other people's lives difficult. I hate being a burden. I hate not being able to do things. I hate that I am putting a weight on someone else's shoulders. Being called lazy implies that I WANT to be like this, that I enjoy it. I didn't choose this, I don't want people to do things that I should be doing. This is not a "cripple perk" and it's insanely hurtful to think otherwise.

What can EVERYONE, normals and cripples alike do to alleviate the situation? Just try to be empathetic to other people's situations. Understand that you do not know the entire story and you don't know what everyone else on the planet is going through. As for the cripples that, like me, are riddled with guilt that they cannot do everything they should... I accepted long ago that life is not fair and everything will never be as it should. Just try your best to do whatever you can.

Something tells me people might react strongly to this, so please feel free to agree or disagree in the comment section. Am I being overly sensitive? A special snowflake? Spot on? Other?

Crippie's Tippie - DON'T CALL SOMEONE LAZY! 

P.S. - I have a follow up to the Lucy stories. I'll probably post in within the next few days. I was crazy tired and achy this week. Labor day weekend weather sucked beyond all reason and kicked my ass. 

Crippie Is Ever So Tired

Happy 10/11/12 Everybody!!!!!!!!!!!

I hope my crippled comrades are enjoying this gorgeous fall weather. All the leaves are changing by me, makes my commute to work very pretty and enjoyable.

I've actually been very busy for the past few days. Whether it be work (I'm pretty much back to my regular schedule) or running various errands, I've been pretty active. Thus I am really tired. No big deal, just sleep more, right? Lol, nope. I've been having a wicked bout of insomnia over the past few weeks. It's pretty bad actually, I've been falling asleep at 4, 5, or even 6 in the morning. This lack of sleep and being tired already has entered me into the not so fun realm of tired.

My fellow cripples know what I'm talking about here. You get to a point when "tired" doesn't mean "I need a nap". It gets to a point where you are emotionally tired of everything. I really do try keep a positive attitude but there are bad days when everything gets to you. I'm not sad about being in pain. I'm not angry about my situation. I'm just tired. I try not to let it weight me down too much, I do things like paint my nails or look at funny pictures on reddit to lift my spirits. While it doesn't make the tired feeling go away, it definitely helps lessen it.

Even though parts of my day were less than awesome, it ended on a high note that will help lift the spirits of other kids. We received the orders from my Scentsy Fundraiser, including 10 Scentsy Buddies to be sent to children having surgeries. Thats 10 children who's days will be a little brighter because of some incredible donors. The two for $25 Scentsy Buddy sale is still going on if anyone else would like to help out, just message me for details.

It's things like this that remind me to snap out of it and focus on the bigger picture. Yes parts of my day suckkkkkkkeeeeedddd but they are not the most important events of today. Helping other kids so their days don't suck as much. Now that's important.

I think I'm actually starting to get tired, maybe I'll get to sleep tonight.

Crippie's Tippie - Check out my Scentsy Fundraiser, it ends on November 3rd :)

Holy Pressure Changes Batman!

Ohai!

Holy crap I'm getting lazy with regular posting, sorry 'bout that. Mother nature has been kicking Crippie's ass for the past few days. There have been some crazy pressure changes around here, so Crippie has been feeling kinda bleh overall. Lots of pain meds, NPH, and extra naps.
On top of the pressure changes it appears Crippie is also developing allergies. Apparently Crippie's lungs are special, if I smell something really strong like cigarette smoke or lots of perfume I choke and start having a coughing fit. BTW, if you're smoking by me and I start obnoxiously coughing I'm not trying to be a dick... I honestly can't breathe. For the past couple of days I've been getting seemingly random periods of feeling tightness in my airway... super fun. Oh well, at least allergy medicine helps.
So what does Crippie do on days when she can't function? Well, recently all of Crippie's co-workers convinced her that she needed to start watching "The Walking Dead", so I've been doing that. I got through the entire first season in three days! One perk of being a cripple, I'm pretty much used to blood and gore so I'm not phased by seeing all these zombies getting their faces smashed in. I've also gotten pretty familiar with how the human body works, so I've been analyzing how all the zombies move and determining their mental capacities! Yes, this how Crippie spends her downtime, determining the mental capacities of zombies.

And here's another photo dump to make up for not posting in several days!

Me and Helen playing around 

Me holding Helen like a baby (kinda shocked that this picture turned out as well as it did)

Frida and Nellie sleeping in their cuddle cups  

Crippie saw a rainbow at work a couple of days ago and was able to snap a pic!

Now Crippie's Sew Able Doll has a piggie too! I received a lovely guinea pig shaped soap from http://cavysavvy.blogspot.com/. It reminds me of Emma <3

Crippie's Tippie - Before getting addicted to a TV show, be sure to find ways of watching all the seasons.