The L-Word

Howdy Y'all!

First off, I gotta give a shout out to my Jewish readers, have a happy and healthy new year. L'shana tova!

Next, I've got a cripple question from the lovely Rachel from "Fluted Cups & Ampersands". Her post was essentially about being called lazy by a nurse at a doctor's appointment, and Rachel wanted some input from other cripples about the situation. Here's my two cents (and probable cripple rant)

If hypothetically a nurse called me a "cripple", "gimp" or any fun technically offensive word I wouldn't think much of it. I'd probably start laughing hysterically actually. BUT if some nurse had the audacity to call me lazy all hell would break loose. Being called "lazy" is probably the worst thing you could say to a cripple, if not the worst it's in the top 10. Why? Because being lazy implies that you are making a conscious choice that you don't want to do something simply because you don't feel like it. I have chronic pain and fatigue, so when I cannot do something it's not because I don't WANT to something, it's because I CANNOT! Calling a cripple lazy implies that you think they are lying, weak, annoying, etc. It's extraordinarily insensitive and extremely hurtful, especially coming from people who do not know what they're talking about.

What would I have done in this situation? Thankfully I have not been called lazy by a total stranger so I can only use my imagination here. Gauging from the fact that it was a professional setting and probably other people around, I'd probably rip 'em a new asshole... politely of course ;) The conversation would probably go as followed...
Stupid Nurse - *some snarky comment about me being lazy*
Crippie - Excuse me? I... I'm sorry, I didn't catch that. Did you just call me lazy?
Stupid Nurse - *insert another well thought out comment*
Crippie - How many tumors are on your skeleton at this very moment?
Stupid  Nurse - Um... none
Crippie - I have hundreds of tumors all over my body. HUNDREDS. Do you know what that means?
Stupid Nurse - Um... no
Crippie - What a surprise! Well, let me educate the expert here. These tumors cause pain and restrict mobility. Do you know what that means?
Stupid Nurse - Um...
Crippie - I'll take that as a no. This means it physically takes more energy to complete a task. Ok? I am not lazy. I am in an extreme amount of pain, I am extraordinarily tired... and I have to waste more of my energy educating know-it-alls like yourself.

Would I have contacted someone? Yup. Depending on the doctor's office there are surveys you can fill out about your experience. Heck, I might even demand to see someone at that very moment. Why? Because in a professional environment your job is to shut up and be nice to your "customer". In my line of work, if I ever called someone an "idiot" to their face (as tempting as it may be) I'd get fired. It is not appropriate and people need to learn that.

What can be done about it? It's hard to say because I hope these instances are just caused by lone idiots. On the whole "minor" healthcare employees aren't like this. If my orthopedist or my physical therapist said something implying I'm lazy, that would be another story because they know their stuff. What can cripples do about it? Again, it's hard to say because there are those "special snowflakes" out there who validate the opinions of those stupid nurses. All we can do is try to brace ourselves for the idiots. Memorize the spoon theory, come up with a general response. Something.

Now, it's pretty obvious that being called "lazy" strikes a nerve with me. While I've never been called lazy by strangers, people I know (various degrees of closeness) have implied that I'm lazy. For example, the act of grocery shopping is exhausting for me. When I return home I generally go lay down, leaving my able-bodied relatives to put away groceries. That sounds horrible, right? That's because it is. I cannot even begin to describe how guilty I feel that I cannot help. I should be helping them! I want to help, and I do whenever possible or absolutely necessary but it hurts, a whole lot. In college I couldn't do certain household chores, leaving my roommates to do them. That's not fair to them and I know that. I try to compensate by being the sole person to do the chores that I am physically able to do, but still to a degree I am a burden. I hate being a burden. Being called lazy implies that I am willingly making other people's lives difficult. I hate being a burden. I hate not being able to do things. I hate that I am putting a weight on someone else's shoulders. Being called lazy implies that I WANT to be like this, that I enjoy it. I didn't choose this, I don't want people to do things that I should be doing. This is not a "cripple perk" and it's insanely hurtful to think otherwise.

What can EVERYONE, normals and cripples alike do to alleviate the situation? Just try to be empathetic to other people's situations. Understand that you do not know the entire story and you don't know what everyone else on the planet is going through. As for the cripples that, like me, are riddled with guilt that they cannot do everything they should... I accepted long ago that life is not fair and everything will never be as it should. Just try your best to do whatever you can.

Something tells me people might react strongly to this, so please feel free to agree or disagree in the comment section. Am I being overly sensitive? A special snowflake? Spot on? Other?

Crippie's Tippie - DON'T CALL SOMEONE LAZY! 

P.S. - I have a follow up to the Lucy stories. I'll probably post in within the next few days. I was crazy tired and achy this week. Labor day weekend weather sucked beyond all reason and kicked my ass. 

Older Than I Once Was, Younger Than I'll Be

YAY Simon & Garfunkel reference!

Wow, I suck at the whole "blog every day thing". Something tells me posts are gonna be a tad sporadic this month. I've been crazy busy, and all of my spoons are used up by the end of the day. Kinda have to choose sleep over blogging right now. I could try to blog when I'm absolutely exhausted... someone might find it entertaining.

Continuing on, on Tuesday I turned 24! I'M OLD... er. Most of my birthday was spent at work. Overtime is the best present a girl could ask for. Once I eventually got home I had a nomerful dinner with the family, opened my cards and pressies, nommed on chocolate cake, and then promptly passed out because I was exhausted. Even though I was tired as hell, I had an awesome day.

My dad left a balloon in my car <3

"The Walking Dead" themed birthday... HELL TO THE YES! And yes, I totally wore that shirt to work.

Yup, theme birthdays are awesome. When I was 16 I had a mini-cooper themed birthday (I still think those cars are the bee's knees). Today was my day off of work, so I got to officially celebrate my birthday. I got to spend some quality time with my mom. We had nomerful Nathan's Hotdog Nuggets and I scored some nifty nail polishes with thanks to awesome birthday coupons. Seriously, I have a nail polish addition. Again, by a lot of people's standards my birthday succkkkkkeeedddddd. Those people can shove it up their ungrateful asses. Any birthday where I'm not sitting along crying is a good birthday in my books.

Random general tip, I don't know if y'all remember but in the past I've mentioned that I do not have the attention span to read a book. Unless I am forced to read something I don't. That being said, I am a HUGE believer in graphic novels. Oodles of pictures and a fast moving pace. So if like reading but you totally suck at it, I totally recommend graphic novels. My favorite non-zombie filled one is "Persepolis" by Marjane Satrapi, it's about the Iranian Revolution. Awesome book right there.

Also, since Hanukkah is coming, I'll be going into Jew-ey mode. So if any of you guys have any questions for me please ask away!

Crippie's Tippie - Perspective! It helps you realize that your seemingly terrible situation is no where near as bad as you think it is :D

Crippie Tries To Go To Sleep

Ohai!

Hope y'all had a lovely Tuesday. Apart from slowly coughing my lungs out my day went pretty well. I was kinda surprised by how not sucky today was considering it took me well over 5 hours to go to sleep last night.
It's weird, you think it would be easy for a person with chronic fatigue to fall asleep... but alas that does not appear to be the case with me. It's pretty easy for me to take a nap, I fall asleep within 20 minutes and I'm not in too much pain. BUT as soon as Crippie tries to go to sleep for the night either her hip, shoulder, or something random decides to hurt her. Sure, pain meds help to a degree, but I'm usually in some form of discomfort when I go to sleep. I've had trouble sleeping for as long as I can remember. The only time I don't have trouble sleeping is when I'm recovering from anesthesia (only good part about surgery... drugs and anesthesia make it super easy to sleep).
Recently, after growing ever frustrated with my sleep issues I thought of a novel idea... "Hey Crippie, if you can nap without issue, why don't you treat bedtime like naptime?". So Crippie tried to sleep propped up at a weird angle on her bed watching some random tv channel. Go figure I fell asleep faster than I usually do. I've been trying this for the past several nights and it's been working, with an exception for last night but I was up because I wasn't feeling well... so it doesn't count ;) What about you guys? What do you do to treat insomnia? I would try something like Ambien, but some of my relatives have had some crazzzzyyy side effects from that one (let's just say they involve show tunes).

Crippie's Tippie - Sometimes the best solutions are the weirdest

Working With A Disability: Day 3

Hi Everybody!

Today was my third day of work. It went pretty well. I wasn't terribly achy, I guess the whole "not raining" thing helps. It also looks like I am going to be working more days a week, but fewer hours each day, so my chronic fatigue is very happy.
Speaking of chronic fatigue, I've been trying to find ways of coping with it during work. As mentioned in the prior post, I tried noshing on "smarties" which seems to work rather nicely. Naturally if I nosh on smarties several times a day every week I won't have teeth next year. The simple solution to this is obtain a crap load of chewing gum. Chewing gum is actually a highly accepted way of dealing with fatigue, pain, and short attention spans. Today I also experimented with listening to music. Of course this depends on where you work, but all the designers where I work listen to their headphones. As long as I only use one earbud my boss doesn't mind. Listening to music really helped me focus today.
On a totally different note, anyone who has checked out my Tumblr, might have seen this little face...

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the newest addition to my family, Helen. Helen is a three year old Shih Tzu who enjoys snuggles, food, and belly rubs. Helen is also blind (hence the name Helen) so she occasionally rams into a wall. Helen is technically my sister's dog so... I'M AN AUNTIE!

Crippie's Tippie- Don't let chronic fatigue get in the way of what you have to do, simple tricks can help you function pretty normally.

Working With A Disability: Day 1

Ohai Everyone!

My first day on the job was today, boy howdy am I tired. Work itself went perfectly fine, once I figure everything out there I be quite good at it. Now the main issue will always be "how will my disability effect my work". From what I can tell so far my main problems will be...
1) Chronic Fatigue- I get really tired really easily, I didn't physically do a whole lot today but I am exhausted nonetheless. I'm gonna try noshing on "smarties" throughout the day tomorrow. Maybe that'll help.
2) Issues standing- Part of my job requires me to use a copy machine for 5-10 minutes at a time. While that seems like nothing it was painful to stand there for that short time. Not painful enough to make me not do that job, but still painful.
3) Lack of Handicap Accessibility- Apparently the designers of the building a work at didn't believe in elevators, and the only ramp outside has been chained off for months (I didn't know that was even legal). Again, I'll manage without elevators and ramps, it's just kinda a bummer that they didn't think to make 'em.

So I guess the general answer to that question is "having a disability makes it harder to work, but its something you kinda have to deal with". Massive plus about being a cripple, I get the handicap parking space! That's right... the n00b has the best spot in the office!

Crippie's Tippie- Make buildings with ramps and elevators, it's nice to be able to let cripples in buildings.