Tuesday, January 29, 2013



Ello everyone, I hope y'all are enjoying your weeks thus far. Mine's been pretty good except for one thing... THIS FREAKING WEATHER! The snow, the ice, the rain, the barometric pressure changes... my tumor-riddled body pretty much hates me now. I've been hanging out with my best buddies Glenn the Heat Pack and other awesome friend PAIN KILLERS. They've been making everything tolerable, but I'm pretty uncomfortable right now. The past few days have basically been like this for me...

Yuuuuupppppp, one of those weeks. I've been trying to distract myself from all the discomfort. Wanna see what I've been up to? Well, when I'm not at work I am either...

Playing with animals, cause they're cute and all that jazz. Maggie wants you all to know that she is adorable. Helen wanted to tell you all something, but she forgot what it was and promptly fell asleep.

I painted my nails an obscene number of times. This one here was 7 coats of polish and I removed it the next day. I also reorganized my nail polish container. During this process I might have sorta admitted to being addicted to nail polish, meh... oh well ;)

Lastly, I've been taking stupid/borderline horrifying pictures of myself with the "Walking Dead: Dead Yourself App". Let's face it, if there's one thing to truly brighten my spirits, it's the fact that "The Walking Dead" returns in less than two weeks! W0000t. I also recently noticed that on top me naming my heat pack Glenn, my guinea pig is named Maggie, and my car is named Penny... I've been naming things after Walking Dead characters even before the show aired! I also have relatives named Carl and Andrea.... GASP... I NEED TO FIND MORE THINGS TO NAME AFTER TWD CHARACTERS! I think I might have to start calling Helen T-Dog from now on 0.0 

And on a completely unrelated note, I found a tube of scar treatment lotion in my bathroom, so I'm trying it out to see if it does anything. 

Well, that's it for tonight folks. I hope the weather isn't kicking y'alls asses too.

Crippie's Tippie - Random, but if you're using glitter nail polish, use Elmer's Glue as a basecoat, that way it will all peel off

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Damn Mother Nature, You Crazy


I hope everyone is staying WARM this week. It's insanely cold by me and I'm really not ok with it. I don't know if it's possible or not but it feels like the staples in my knee and ankle contract whenever it gets stupidly cold... like now. Right now my best friends are Glenn the heat pack at home and Daniel Radcliffe the heat pack at work. Currently I'd say that I have heat pack on for about 75% of the day. It sounds rather extreme, but it's keeping my joints from getting too painful. Also it keeps me toasty.

Today was a good day though. Mainly because I didn't leave my house. I had the day off from work so I stayed home, had hot chocolate, cuddled up with Glenn, and that's about it. 

Yup, TRIPLE MARSHMALLOWS... be jealous. Today was also awesome because something very special came in the mail, my disability check. FREAKING FINALLY! I should probably clarify that this was just for the three weeks I couldn't work because due to that whole "recovering from having a giant mass removed from my hip" thing. I'm not getting monthly check or anything like that. Just a one time deal... but still... MASSIVE VICTORY FOR THE CRIPPLE!

Alrighty, I've got to pass out and have dreams about being awesome and winning battles, I'll probably toss in a guinea pig or two here in there just to spice the dream up.

Crippie's Tippie - As far as being rejected for disability goes... third time was the charm for me. I guess you really should fight it until you get approved. (Thanks for telling me to stick it out Mary)

Monday, January 21, 2013

Sure, You'll Listen to Obama but Not to Me!


I hope everyone enjoyed their Martin Luther King Jr. Day. I spent my day working and popping tylenols for a freakishly sore back. I did get to go into work late-ish today so I got to watch the inauguration today. I don't know about you guys but I enjoyed what I saw, and I wasn't the only one in my house who agreed. Angel was "watching" with the family, and by watching I mean sleeping on the couch. Someone on the TV said "All rise" and the next thing we know Angel is sitting at full attention, watching the TV. If that isn't funny enough when the person said "You may be seated" she went back to sleep! I don't get it, she hardly listens to us! But I guess she's a democrat.

Believe it or not she is not the only political pet in our household. Even though Helen slept through today's festivities, she made her opinions known during the election. Whenever I'd watch a debate with her she'd start growling whenever Obama spoke! She'd be perfectly fine with Romney but as soon as Obama started talking she'd make her opinions known that she did NOT like him. At all! So yeah, one of my dogs is a democrat and the other is a republican. My guess is that when they are not busy sleeping or eating they are discussing whatever current events they heard when they were awake.

The piggies don't particularly care about politics, and they probably won't unless someone proposes a ban on lettuce. If that ever happens... ALL HELL WILL BREAK LOOSE!

In other news, the scar from Fanny's removal has officially keloided. No longer is it a scar that's kinda puffy for the time being but will flatten out in a year or two... nope... mofo is a keloid. Since this scar is on a sensitive area that moves around a lot, it gets rather painful from time to time. It's not as painful as Fanny was so I don't mind the trade off... but still... the bastard hurts. I'm trying to put lotion on it but me thinks I might need to invest in a scar cream to help soften this sucker. Any suggestions in good scar creams? Would a stretch mark lotion be better? Help me comrades! WHAT SHOULD I DO!

In other, other news, I've been rejected for disability AGAIN. This time we sent an ass ton of papers and medical records, and my doctor needs to fill out some forms stating that I am in fact, a cripple. Ugh, I hate to say it but if I get rejected again I'm not gonna bother fighting it. For the amount of money I'd be getting, it's not worth putting in any more effort.

That's it for tonight folks, y'all have a good tomorrow. STAY WARM!

Crippie's Tippie - Dogs are smarter than they look sometimes

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Drive Me Crazy

Ohai Everybody!

I hope everyone has been fairing well with all these lovely weather changes. I've been super achy and I somehow managed to hurt my arm a little while ago. It should be better by morning, but still... weird.

Today was my day off from work. I spent it working on my New Year's Resolution of working on my damn driving anxieties. I had to pick up someone at a place that I am REALLY not okay with driving to. Well, it had to be done so with my grandmother and a GPS by my side I drove. Let's just say the whole thing was an experience and I'm amazed I didn't freak out. I'm absolutely petrified of getting lost,  driving in some weird place where I have no idea where I am. So what happened when we went? We got lost, naturally. Yes, even with a GPS I managed to get my ass lost... AND I had to drive on some rather unsavory and confusing roads. So yeah... that was fun... NOT -_-

I'm kinda surprised I didn't have an anxiety attack honestly. I was swearing quite a bit and obsessively fidgeting... but all things considered that's not terrible. Had I been the only person in the car it would have been a different story. I probably would have pulled over and freaked out. I just tried to put my faith in my damn GPS. It took awhile and some crazy freaking roads, but we got to our destination, early as a matter of fact. On the way home the person I picked up gave proper direction, they also involved the occasional unsavory road, but I knew that SOMEONE knew where they were going, so that helped.

In hindsight it was a mildly entertaining experience, but at the time I was freaking terrified! That being said, I'm proud of myself for driving to this demon location with it's freaking weird roads. It feels good to work on your resolutions. This is definitely a step in the right direction. Let's hope the progress doesn't end here :)

BTW, if anyone is curious, I used the "Waze" GPS app on my phone. It took me on some freaking weird ass roads, but it ultimately got me to my destination. I think I have to play around with it before I can fully trust it with on a solo trip somewhere.

Crippie's Tippie - Allow yourself extra time when driving to new places, helps factor in the whole "YOU CAN AND WILL GET LOST" thing

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Weather You Like It Or Not

I made a punny! YAY CRIPPIE!

I don't know about you guys, but HOLY CRAP I HATE THIS WEATHER! The pressure's been changing like crazy, thus making me a very achy little cripple. I've been pretty damn useless over the past couple of days. I go to work, and then go home and snuggle with Glenn the heat pack, that's it. We're supposed to have snow and ice tomorrow, and I am definitely feeling it. Yeaaaaahhhh... moving is not fun right now. On the bright side, my pain medications have kicked in so I am temporarily a very happy camper.

Just a friendly reminder to all my cripples out there facing similar wintry conditions... SHARP OBJECTS ARE YOUR FRIEND! Ice picks on your cane... DO IT! Those ice-grip things for your shoes, go for it! The last thing we need is a downed cripple on the ice. Just be careful and be safe y'all.

In other non "OMG I HATE MOTHER NATURE SO MUCH" news... my guinea pigs are evil little bastards. Apparently while I was at work they all got together and formulated a plan. First, they would scream until my grandmother gave them salad. Then when my mother got home they would start screaming for salad again without telling her that they had already eaten. Their diabolical plan worked and they got double salads tonight. Needless to say the food comas were adorable.
It's a good thing they're cute, what can I say. They're cute, evil, well-fed creatures ;)

Crippie's Tippie - Seriously, put spikes on ALL THE THINGS!

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Fuzzy Wuzzy Was A Pig...


I hope y'all had a nice weekend. The weather was craptacular here, so I spent the weekend with Glenn the heatpack. Today was also kinda sad because it marked the one year anniversary of my guinea pig Emma's passing :(

I still can't believe it's been an entire year since my little Fuzz Ball left us. It certainly doesn't feel like it's been a year.

Emma was a freakishly cute pig, and she thought that she could use that cuteness to get away with being a little demon pig. She found ways to make enemies with Maggie, Aggie, Frida, AND her own mother! Not to mention how she'd boss around poor little Nellie, constantly stealing her treats and grabbing lettuce out of her mouth! Even though she hated a vast majority of the other pigs, she LOVED her humans. She'd snuggle for hours with you. What can I say, she was a smart girl... she knew to love the things that gave her salad, and hate the things that she'd have to potentially share said salad with.

Her grave marker is about 8 times longer than she was

I like to think that Emma is somewhere with unlimited salad and lots of comfy things to pee on, watching over her sisters, mother, and those two random ones that were super weird. 

We love you Emma Rose and we miss your terribly. RIP Fuzz Ball <3

Crippie's Tippie - If your pet is sick, take 'em to a vet

Friday, January 11, 2013



Funny story for y'all today...

Today was a day of doctor's appointments. I saw my pain doctor today. It went well but that's not the main story today. Angel and Helen went to the vet (they're fine, they just had check-ups and shots). It was an all day event. Right before I went into my doctor's appointment we received a call from the vet's office about the dogs. I answered the phone. The conversation went as follows...

Vet Person - Hi... um... we have some concerns about Angel and Helen
Crippie - Uh oh, what's wrong
Vet Person in a very nervous tone - Um... well... with Helen... we.... um... the doctor believes something is wrong with her eyes... he doesn't think she can see anything
Crippie - Well yeah... she's blind.
Vet Person - Oh... um... has she seen a specialist?
Crippie - Yeah, she has detached retinas. She's completely blind.
Vet Person - Oh... ok

Helen is blind eh?

So it looks like someone forgot to add the whole "HELEN IS FREAKING BLIND" thing to her record. LOL FAIL. Needless to say we've been joking about this event for the remainder of the day. Everyone is saying I should have told the vet person "BUT SHE COULD SEE THIS MORNING!" just to mess with her. We're also pretending to be devastated by this tragic turn of events in Helen's life. Helen is coping with this in the only way she knows how to, by sleeping, eating treats, and cuddling with her humans. She's so brave ;)

It's hard to be Helen
Seriously though, if you look at Helen's eyes it's really obvious that she cannot see. You can see through them when the light is right. 

Needless to say, today was thoroughly entertaining. Something tells me we're gonna be saying "OH MY GOD HELEN IS BLIND" at random times for the next few days

Crippie's Tippie - OH MY GOD HELEN IS BLIND!!!!!! 

Crippie's Actual Tippie - Sometimes it's better to laugh at the stupidity of others rather than getting mad at them

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Resolutions and What Not

Hi Everybody!

I'm totally late on all of these New Year's posts... but whatever. While I didn't exactly accomplish all of my resolutions last year, I didn't fail miserably either. So here's my resolutions for 2013...

Seriously, I need to get over this driving thing yesterday. It's really frustrating. Time for this buttercup to suck it up and drive to some places.

I'd love to expand my freelance horizons. I'm still working on setting up an online shop. Crippie's gotta hustle and make some money ;)

I have every intention of getting back to blogging every day. I'd also like to spruce up the place a little. I was thinking of doing theme days like "Music Monday". I dunno... what do you guys think? Anything you wanna see? And I plan to add a crap ton of adorable animal pictures :D

Pretty much self explanatory... a social life would be loverly

That's pretty much it... I don't think I'm being unrealistic... we'll find out. In the meantime, I need to get to bed!

Crippie's Tippie - Be realistic when setting goals, otherwise you'll just feel like a failure

Monday, January 7, 2013

2012 Re(handi)cap!

Hi Everybody!

Are all my readers getting used to writing 2013 on everything yet? I'm still working on it ;)

Tonight I figured I'd take a look back and remember 2012...

- I lost my Emma. I still can't believe it's almost been a year since she left. 

- Nellie, Frida, and Mama Pig became a trio! 
- My heated blanket almost caught fire, beginning my quest for a proper heat pack

- Thanks to my trusty heat pack NPH, I had a fairly good month pain wise... for once

- I volunteered at a local animal shelter and watched two piggies
- Fanny the ass tumor begins her final assault, it's a terrible month pain wise and I have trouble sitting down

- Mama Pig got sick and we had a few very close calls. It took about the entire month for her to get better
- I had my first MRI... had to wait for a long ass time to get results

- Finally got the damn results. It confirmed that Fanny was a massive tumor irritating my sciatic nerve. The decision on whether or not to have her removed was left completely to me... I decided to remove that mofo.

- Aggie injured her eye, said injury caused some very serious aggression issues and she had to be separated from Maggie
- CRIPPLEFEST! Single greatest week of my year right there. Hang out with ALL the cripples!

- Maggie moved in with Nellie, Frida, and Mama Pig... the Quartet was born
- We had a crap ton of people over at my house for my mother & grandmother's birthdays
- I made a pilgrimage to Bethel Woods! 
- Holy crap Fanny was causing me SO MUCH PAIN

- My friend and I hosted a Scentsy Fundraiser. We raised over 300 dollars for the MHE Coalition and we obtained 20 stuffed animals to send to children having operations! 

- I returned to work after recovering from surgery and was pleasantly surprised by how much pain I was not in
- Hurricane Sandy... no power for 10 days... nuff said 

- We got our power back, we spent the rest of the month being thankful

- I turned 24!!!
- I took a vacation and went to Tennessee, as my prior post shows... it was awesome

So there ya have it folks, Crippie's year in a nutshell. Here's to hoping that 2013 brings more adventures!

Crippie's Tippie - Do you suck at remembering all the important/special things that happen in the year? Write 'em down somewhere, whether it be a journal or a blog. It's also good to have a physical record.

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Crippie Crosses the Mason Dixon Line


And I swear NOW I will get back to regular posting. I had every intention of blogging during my vacation... but alas... no WiFi. Oh well. I hope y'all had an excellent New Years weekend. My week was certainly eventful. Ready for some pictures?

Friday - I spent 17 hours in the back seat of a car driving to Nashville. 

Saturday - Pretty much chilled with the family. Did some grocery shopping. BTW, I walked around the grocery without a cane! Big step right there! 

Sunday - I got to hang out with one of my cripple buddies! We walked around downtown Nashville (I used a cane because I know my limits) and had a jolly ol' time. I tried a bacon soda (not bad) and my cripple and I tried on some snazzy cowboy boots, only to find out that the tumors in our ankles, legs, and feet make boots like that really painful. So we took pictures to prove that we actually tried on said boots and took them off as fast as possible. But we had a great time and it was nice to be with a fellow cripple.

Monday - NEW YEAR'S EVE! My sister and I went to Franklin and walked around. I also went sans cane for that :) Later on the whole family met for lunch. I had some nomerful wings. After all the lunchness we went on a quick run to Costco. I actually managed to walk around Costco without a cane. I don't think I've ever done that before... super stores are crazy places. As for the actual New Year's Eve festivities I hung out at my aunt's house. We had lots of nosh and I got to watch Kathy Griffin's attempts at molesting Anderson Cooper. I also partook in a champagne toast for the New Year. It took lots of effort and lots of people laughing at my alcohol face... but I finished the damn glass of booze. 

Tuesday - More sight seeing. Went to a big ass mall... I needed to use a wheelchair for that, but it was probably for the best. While there my sister and I spotted this super special sign.

Wednesday - We went to the Carnton Plantation, which was used as a field hospital during the Battle of Franklin. It was extremely interesting to see, especially considering you can still see blood stains on the floors. Carnton Plantation is also allegedly haunted... and I completely believe that. While in the "operating room" I got rather queazy. I NEVER GET QUEAZY! This is the person who asks for pictures of her tumors! The room didn't faze me at all. Once I left the room I felt better... and then when I went back into the room I felt sick again. Weird, right? 

Later on I got to spend a lot of time with my relatives while have a very delicious dinner :3

Thursday - 16 hours in the back of a car. But I'm back in New York, safe and sound. 

I certainly had a blast over the past week, now it's time to get back into the swing of things! HAPPY 2013 EVERYBODY!

Crippie's Tippie - Make sure you have lots of really awesome pain medications when you're traveling. You'll need 'em.
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