Thankful

Happy New Year!

Two posts in two days? WHAT IS THIS MADNESS???????? As promised, to make up for the yesterday's depressing post, here's a happy one :)

I was contacted by the amazing Heather, a cancer survivor turned blogger to write a post about what I am thankful for because "If having cancer has taught me anything, it’s the value of life and the value of gratitude. My diagnosis was in November, and every year during the holiday season, I am reminded of this difficult time. Therefore, I have set out to acknowledge something in my life that I am thankful for every day throughout the month of December." How could I say no to a request like that? 

This might sound painfully obvious but I am eternally grateful for my family, friends and pets. My family has never left my side and have always been there for me when I need it most. They molded me into the person I am today and I cannot thank them enough for that. Don't even start me on the small things... I'd be lost if my dad never told me how to properly maintain my car, my mom helped start a support group for me so I wouldn't feel alone, my sister willingly does chores for me when I'm in too much pain to do so (which is often), and my grandma makes me nomerful dinners. I love them very much and am eternally thankful for their love and support. 

I'm just so incredibly thankful for the love and support of my family and friends. Since I have experienced many lows when it comes to friendship, I know the value of good ones. Here's a good example of how awesome my family and friends are. I turned 25 on December 4th but I wasn't exactly planning on doing anything special for it, I haven't been too keen on birthday parties since middle school, not to mention the whole "quarter-life crisis" thing. What do my family and friends do? They organize a surprise 25th birthday/watch the midseason finale of "The Walking Dead" party! I had a blast at my first real "party" in over a decade (even if I had lots of feels from watching "Santa" get his head chopped off with a katana). My family and friends are my happiness and my life would royally suck without them. *I just started singing that Kelly Clarkson song in my head :/* 

Last but not least, my furbabies. Before I begin to type this out I'd like to mention that Helen just had a nightmare and is now sleeping on one of my arms, it's numb and tingly. Let's see how typing with one hand goes! Ok, back to the subject. My animals are my comfort and my sanity. I am thankful for their unconditional love and snuggles. It is impossible for them to hate me and it's impossible for me to hate them. They know to give me extra snuggles when I'm in pain. It doesn't matter how craptacular my day was, when I see my piggies lined up for  salad my problems don't matter.

 

 I'll admit that 2013 wasn't the best year for me, but I am so thankful for what I have. I am extraordinarily blessed to have a support system that cares about me, I try to repay them to the best of my abilities, but it'll never be enough. So to those family and friends who know my blog, I say thank you. 

HAPPY 2014 Y'ALL! And thank you to all of my crippled comrades, I appreciate every last one of you :D

Crippie's Tippie - You can always find a cloud with a silver lining, regardless of how overcast it might seem

Crippie Acts Completely Out of Character

Ohai Everyone!

I hope everyone had a marvelous Monday. Mine was alright, full of the usual pain and discomfort that January and February have brought me, but otherwise no complaints. I do have a fun story to tell y'all though... a refreshing break from me talking about being in constant pain for the past few months.

Well, as you all know the past two months have kinda sucked... a lot. So what did Crippie do about it? Believe it or not I spent Thursday night getting fairly drunk with my coworkers. You see, I was at a party for all the employees at my office (YAY social life points), and I was allowed 2 free drinks, whatever my little heart desired. Normally I do not drink alcohol, partly because it doesn't mix well with my rather strong narcotics, and partly because I just don't enjoy the taste of it. Believe it or not I actually decided to have a drink, not just any drink... a relatively strong one at that. Usually when I drink I dilute the crap outta whatever I'm having, and get a buzz at most. For some off reason I thought a chocolate martini sounded tasty. What can I say, the thought of chocolate milk with lots of alcohol in it intrigued me... plus, it was free. How can I say no to free alcoholic chocolate milk?!?!? So, I consumed an entire chocolate martini in a relatively short span of time AND on an empty stomach. Yup, I'm brilliant. At least I had water too so I was hydrated. I was pleasantly surprised at how I actually found the alcoholic chocolate milk to be tasty. I guess there was enough chocolate syrup and liquor to drown out the nail polish remover taste. Well, about a quarter way through the beverage I either stopped hurting or stopped caring about the constant discomfort. I had a great time being social and being slightly inebriated (YAY social life points), not to mention I had the opportunity to consume some tasty noms. Needless to say, Thursday was a much needed break in what has been a really crappy  few months, I got to be a VERY social creature, AND I acted completely out of character.

CHOCOLATE BOOZE!!!! 

Slightly inebriated Crippie  

Freakin' Awesome Desserts 

And on a completely unrelated topic, since some of y'all were curious about how I did my nails with those polka dots... I used a dotting tool to draw the polka dots on. Funness. Toothpicks and old ball-point pens also suffice. I used painter's tape for the design below if you're wondering. If you're also wondering why on earth I would spend time doing stuff like that... it helps me concentrate on something other than the pain. You really need to focus if you don't wanna screw up your manicure ;)

Tape Mani while showing off my dotting tool. It doesn't make sense, but whatever

And on ANOTHER unrelated note, to make up for my still irregular posts... here's some sleeping animals.

SLEEPY FRIDA!  

Helen is all snuggled up and adorable

Crippie's Tippie - If you're like me and take heavy duty narcotics, drink in extreme moderation and make sure you sober up before you take your meds. NEVER MIX ALCOHOL WITH PAIN KILLERS. EVER. 

Blllaaaarrrrrggggghhhhhhhh

Bleeeeehhhhhhhhhhh

Ello everyone, I hope y'all are enjoying your weeks thus far. Mine's been pretty good except for one thing... THIS FREAKING WEATHER! The snow, the ice, the rain, the barometric pressure changes... my tumor-riddled body pretty much hates me now. I've been hanging out with my best buddies Glenn the Heat Pack and other awesome friend PAIN KILLERS. They've been making everything tolerable, but I'm pretty uncomfortable right now. The past few days have basically been like this for me...

Yuuuuupppppp, one of those weeks. I've been trying to distract myself from all the discomfort. Wanna see what I've been up to? Well, when I'm not at work I am either...

Playing with animals, cause they're cute and all that jazz. Maggie wants you all to know that she is adorable. Helen wanted to tell you all something, but she forgot what it was and promptly fell asleep.

I painted my nails an obscene number of times. This one here was 7 coats of polish and I removed it the next day. I also reorganized my nail polish container. During this process I might have sorta admitted to being addicted to nail polish, meh... oh well ;)

Lastly, I've been taking stupid/borderline horrifying pictures of myself with the "Walking Dead: Dead Yourself App". Let's face it, if there's one thing to truly brighten my spirits, it's the fact that "The Walking Dead" returns in less than two weeks! W0000t. I also recently noticed that on top me naming my heat pack Glenn, my guinea pig is named Maggie, and my car is named Penny... I've been naming things after Walking Dead characters even before the show aired! I also have relatives named Carl and Andrea.... GASP... I NEED TO FIND MORE THINGS TO NAME AFTER TWD CHARACTERS! I think I might have to start calling Helen T-Dog from now on 0.0 

And on a completely unrelated note, I found a tube of scar treatment lotion in my bathroom, so I'm trying it out to see if it does anything. 

Well, that's it for tonight folks. I hope the weather isn't kicking y'alls asses too.

Crippie's Tippie - Random, but if you're using glitter nail polish, use Elmer's Glue as a basecoat, that way it will all peel off

Fuzzy Wuzzy Was A Pig...

Ello!

I hope y'all had a nice weekend. The weather was craptacular here, so I spent the weekend with Glenn the heatpack. Today was also kinda sad because it marked the one year anniversary of my guinea pig Emma's passing :(

I still can't believe it's been an entire year since my little Fuzz Ball left us. It certainly doesn't feel like it's been a year.

Emma was a freakishly cute pig, and she thought that she could use that cuteness to get away with being a little demon pig. She found ways to make enemies with Maggie, Aggie, Frida, AND her own mother! Not to mention how she'd boss around poor little Nellie, constantly stealing her treats and grabbing lettuce out of her mouth! Even though she hated a vast majority of the other pigs, she LOVED her humans. She'd snuggle for hours with you. What can I say, she was a smart girl... she knew to love the things that gave her salad, and hate the things that she'd have to potentially share said salad with.

Her grave marker is about 8 times longer than she was

I like to think that Emma is somewhere with unlimited salad and lots of comfy things to pee on, watching over her sisters, mother, and those two random ones that were super weird. 

We love you Emma Rose and we miss your terribly. RIP Fuzz Ball <3

Crippie's Tippie - If your pet is sick, take 'em to a vet

One of "Those" People

Happy 6th night of Hanukkah y'all!

I hope everyone is continuing to enjoy this holiday season. I've been kinda lazy about the whole holiday thing this year. I get home from work, I eat dinner, and then I pass out. Not much room for lighting Hanukkah candles. I should be conscious enough to light 'em tomorrow... hopefully.

Now on to tonight's question, it's not really a jew-ey question but a LOT of people ask it. "Are you one of those people who buys presents for your guinea pigs?" The answer... HELL YEAH I AM. I actually bought the animals pressies before obtaining gifts for my human family members. What did the pigs get this year? Mainly things that they needed. Mama Pig got vitamins (which she LOVES), Aggie got a mirror so she can kinda be social (she doesn't care about the mirror), and the rest got some shnazzy beds. It looks like a dog bed for a really tiny dog (a chihuahua could probably sleep in one comfortably). Nellie, Mama, and Maggie adore their new bed and they have having issues sharing it. Someone *coughNELLIEcough* has realized that if you burrow underneath the bed you will knock out whoever is currently in it. Maybe they'll learn to share one say... *sigh* As for the puppies, Angel and Helen got a special bag of treats that they enjoy immensely.

Nellie says "Dis is mai bed. I has a comfy. If Mama of Maggie tries to get mai bed I will keeel them" 

Angel says "I eated my pressie, now I sad cuz I has no more pressies"

In cripple news, I'm beginning the whole fighting for my disability claim thing. They said they didn't have enough information... which is complete bull crap. I got everything I needed from work and now I'm getting everything needed on the medical side. Let's hope no mistakes are made this time.

Jew-ey's Tippie - If you're gonna obtain a present for you pet... but super practical about what you get 'em. Only things they need or without question will love very much. Otherwise you look like a crazy person. 

Party Animals

Salutations

Yup, I'm ignoring the blog prompt for tonight... not because it sucks or anything, but because I wanna save for it a day when I'm really awake so I can properly discuss it, plus I have other things to share with you guys today!

First off,  thank y'all for the ninja healing vibes. Birdie was feeling much better this morning and I didn't have to flip anyone off at work today. Me thinks Birdie will cause flare-ups from time to time, but it's nothing that I can't handle. Also, Birdie's location is nowhere near anything important like a nerve so she'd have to grow considerably for me to consider removing her.

Today was actually a pretty good day. It was a very animal-centered day. It started off when my relatives and I were returning home after obtaining some coffee. While driving up my driveway we see a buck chilling on my lawn. He looks at us, and he continues to lie down. We open and close our car doors, he just stares at us. We talk to him (for a distance), he looks at us as if he's saying "Bitch, I ain't afraid of you... IMMA BUCK!". He wasn't hurt or anything, he's a frequent visitor of my lawn, he's just not afraid of people.

Once I finished talking to the deer, I went inside and checked on my piggies. They're were being very cute. Not just cute, VERY FREAKING CUTE. Even though all of the pigs were being adorable, Frida managed to out-cute everyone else.

Those feetsies <3! Today was also special because it's Angel's birthday/adoption anniversary. She's been with us for two whole years and we love her to pieces. Angel might have her issues, but we love her and wouldn't trade her for the world. To celebrate our special girl I decided to cook some ham for her. I was so excited to give Angel her birthday treat I could hardly wait! So everybody sat down at the table and we prepared to give her the present. At the same time Angel came over and... uh... left her own presents if you catch my drift. She wasn't being bad or anything... she's a senior and sometimes she can't hold it in, we weren't mad at her or anything. Once everything was cleaned up we continued on with the party.

Needless to say Angel had a very happy birthday. She even got to lick the plate clean once all the ham was consumed, oh joy! Of course I couldn't leave Helen out of the festivities, ESPECIALLY when there is ham involved.

Helen is the Queen of begging. Not only will she give you killer puppy dog eyes, but she will also walk on her hind legs for a few steps in an attempt to get food. I still have no idea how a blind dog can have such an effective stare.

Well, I'm gonna hit the hay for the night. I hope these freakishly adorably pictures hold y'all over until tomorrow :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANGEL, WE LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU LOVE HAM!

Crippie's Tippie - If you don't want to give your pet people food (understandable if you don't) then I suggest a really awesome dog treat.

Sandy Land

Why Hello There!

Hurricane Sandy...  yeaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh

I seriously hope that all you guys stay safe and sound over the next couple of days. I live in New York and will probably be on high alert from Sunday through Tuesday night. Well, this certainly explains why I've been in so much pain over the past few days... I CAN PREDICT HURRICANES... YAY ME!!!

But in all seriousness... this Hurricane has the potential to suuuuucccccccckkkkkkkk. Personally, I live on a road with tall trees very close power lines. Hurricane Irene took out one of our trees last year, and the freakin' Halloween snow storm took out some more of 'em. If y'all could sending "STAY WHERE YOU ARE" vibes to my remaining trees it would be greatly appreciated. 

I figured since we're dealing with the "storm of the century" I'd make a quick little checklist of things cripples, guinea pigs, and dogs need.

CRIPPLES

- YOUR MEDICATIONS

- Disposable heat or ice packs, hand warmers might also benefit 

- If need be, use glow in the dark tape to mark things in your house (canes, doorways, whatever) 

GUINEA PIGS

- Enclosed Hiding places (they need them for warmth)

- Fleece (also warmth)

- Food & Hay for at least a week. If you are running low, Oxbow brand pellets and hay are acceptable

- Disposable Hand warmers (if it gets insanely cold you can wrap one in a sock and put it in their cage)

- If possible, move pigs away from windows, etc

- Bedding, if you use fleece you might wanna pick up some extra because you might not be able to wash it. If you use carefresh I recommend Kaytee Clean and Cozy. 

DOGS

- Food 

- Coats (if necessary)

- Puppy pads, newspapers, extra paper towels, baggies, garbage bags... anything you might need in the event that it is too dangerous to walk your dog. 

There ya go, I like how most of my tips are for guinea pigs... lol. I really hope that nothing terrible happens to in this storm and that each and every one of my readers makes it through safely. I'm sending "PLEASE DON'T LET ANYTHING BAD HAPPEN" vibes to y'all.

Crippie's Tippie - Don't do anything stupid that might jeopardize your life over the next few days

Nellie & Frida Turn Four!

HOWDY Y'ALL! 

Hope y'all are having a great week. Things have pretty uneventful on my end. We're kinda working out a system for giving Angel her ear drops... it takes three people but it gets done. Her ears are starting to feel better already. 

The big news for today is that Nellie and Frida are officially four years old! I don't know their exact birthday, but Nellie was between 6-8 weeks old when we obtained her in early December. So I guess and celebrate their birthdays in mid October. I'm definitely a proud mama today :)

These little pipsqueaks have changed soooooooooooooooooo much in the past four years. Nellie started out as a loud, adventurous asshole. Once she grew out of her asshole toddler stage she became a quiet little snugglebug. She can stay on her human's lap for HOURS on end. Nellie is gentle soul who will give you kisses if she deems you tasty enough (she has deemed me to be quite delicious).

Frida also started out as an asshole, a violent one at that. She used to bite people when she was younger. Whenever company would come over they were not allowed to touch her and children were not allowed to hold her for YEARS. Frida used to step on Mama Pig's face to get our attention, I mean she would literally use her mother as a step ladder. Manners were learned with time and now with her new friends and bigger cage Mama's face is no longer trampled. She has learned to appreciate a good cuddle, except she still tries to bite you when she wants to go back in her cage. Frida loves music, especially Lady Gaga. Although she likes anything with a good beat really. Frida has grown in more ways than just maturity... she also uses her double chin as a comfy pillow. 

We celebrated their birthday with food, snuggles, and some Lady Gaga. Needless to say I have some very happy piggies tonight. And how... PIGTURES 

BABY NELLIE!!!!!!!! (I'm kicking myself for not having baby pictures of Frida)

The birthday girls!

I figured they were looking at something really nifty...

NOMS!!!

Frida being beautiful

Nellie and her "I'm peeing on you" face

Of course we didn't only celebrate ONLY Nellie & Frida's birthday's today. All the pigs had some extra treats to celebrate Emma's birthday as well, even though she will forever be three. I think she'd be happy to know that her sisters and mother are still very well loved and VERY well fed. Miss you Emma, mommy loves you <3

Crippie's Tippie - Cherish every moment you have with your pets, they're only here for such a short while

My Dog Is A Psychic Now

Ohai!

As the title suggests, something very interesting happened tonight.

As most of y'all know, I have a blind dog named Helen. She barks whenever she hears noises that displease her. These noises can vary from knock on the door, people shouting, The Jersey Shore, Angel, strangers, the sound of a door opening etc. Helen also sleeps in my bed with me, she likes my pillows and she also takes pride in defending me from serial killers every night.

Anyways, tonight I heard noises which I thought where just my house settling, cause ya know, houses do that. Helen was NOT fond of these noises. Even though she was sleeping she would let out a little *grumble grumble* whenever she heard one. At first I would tell her "Helen, it's the house settling". The settling sounds continue sporadically for another hour or so. Each time Helen grumbles. These sounds were pretty damn faint. I kept looking at Helen like "Everyone else in the house is sleeping! What is wrong with you child?". Eventually these sounds got more and more frequent, and Helen was getting pissed at me. I'm still thinking Helen is an idiot until I hear a massive CRASH! I have bookshelves mounted to my wall. One fell down. Some rather heavy books came crashing down with it. I turned on my light to check out the damage, and even though Helen is blind I swear she was looking at me like "BITCH I TOLD YOU THAT WOULD HAPPEN!". Luckily no harm or damage was done. I guess my books were a little heavy.

Helen wouldn't stop judging me until I have her some treats. After she nommed on a few dog cookies, her smug little ass went back to bed. I'm now convinced that this little squirt is smarter than she looks.

I saved your life. YOU'RE WELCOME!  

BELLY RUBS OF GRATITUDE PLEASE! 

Crippie's Tippie - Don't put heavy books on wall mounted shelves

Helen's Tippie - LISTEN WHEN I'M BARKING AT THINGS! 

Crippie Gets Trolled By Several Small Animals

Ello Everybody, I hope all my readers are keeping safe with the Hurricane/Tropical Storm

Yup, it's another one of those "Lol, I can't sleep so I'm blogging at 3 in the morning" kinda days. Go figure, I can't sleep on a day that I really should be getting a good night sleep, oh wells. And why should I be getting a good night sleep? What's so special about tomorrow (today, whatever)? I'm not gonna tell y'all just yet, but I will say that I'm going to a super awesome groovy place tomorrow and I'm very excited.

In the meantime my pets have been trolling for the past two days.

First let's start with the doggies. Angel and Helen went to the vet and needed to be sedated for a few hours. Angel is a 20 pound Lhasa Apso. It's pretty safe to say that she HATED her vet experience as she tried to kill the 3 people trying muzzle her. Once they finally knocked her out her teeth cleaning went well. When she woke up she was higher than a kite. She was an oddly snuggly puppy during the drive home and the remainder of the night asleep on my Grandma's couch. Today she woke with a general demeanor of "WHERE AM I... also... I'M SO HUNGRY". Angel was still pretty loopy today, she was rolling around on the floor, whacking into walls, sleeping in random places, all that fun stuff. She'll probably be back to her old self tomorrow, but in the meantime she's a silly puppy.

Helen is a 7 pound shih tzu. She also thought that killing the vet would be a wise idea. Once they sedated her, her cleaning went off without a hitch. When she woke up she was also higher than a kite. She would sleep, smile, scream at nothing, and occasionally crash into something. The funniest part of her adventure is that they needed to shave part of her legs. Angel had to be partially shaved too... but she isn't a little runt like Helen. Helen is now known as "Chicken Legs" and "Shih Poodle".

Last but not least, the guinea pigs. Mama Pig managed to scare the crap out of me today. Before I tell y'all this little story there is one thing you need to know, guinea pigs usually sleep with their eyes open... at least a little. I went to check on the pigs and I see Mama Pig sleeping peacefully, a little too peacefully. She's flat, her eyes are closed, she's not moving, I don't see her breathing, and her eyes look kinda greyish white. I stand there for a second and think "OH MY GOD SHE'S DEAD". I rattled a bag of treats, SHE DIDN'T FREAKIN' MOVE. Now I was realllllyyyyyy thinking that she was dead. Then I poked her and thank goodness she woke up, but she gave me the biggest stink eye that practically said "Bitch, I WAS SLEEPING". Thanks Mama Pig, you managed to scare the living daylights out of me. You win. Oy vey, I guess I need to remember that older pigs tend to be deeper sleepers.

Crippie's Tippie - Senior pigs are assholes, also shaved dogs are humorous 

You Have Until Midnight

Ohai Everybody!

I hope all my crippled comrades had a marvelous Monday and are having a terrific Tuesday. Today is gonna be a slightly busy day at my house because both Angel and Helen are getting their teeth cleaned, and they need to be sedated.

While this doesn't sound pleasant, they get a ride in the car and some pretty sweet drugs, so on their end it could end up being a very good day ;). The funny thing (to me anyway) is that the vet called to remind us that they cannot eat or drink anything after midnight. I dunno... I think it's cute that they get the same treatment as humans.

That being said, I HATE thinking about the no food/drink after midnight rule, especially when we are closing in on Fanny's removal. Why? Because whenever midnight rolls around on that night before surgery, it doesn't matter how much I've had to eat prior... I feel hungry, my mouth gets dry, AND there are always a bunch of commercials on TV for food and restaurants. After a few hours, the nerves plus the lack of food/water make me sick. Its a rather unpleasant feeling to say the least. Do y'all feel the same way the night before a surgery? Am I the only one who dreads midnight?

I do have a few coping mechanisms to help me deal with this rather craptacular feeling. First, I either brush my teeth or gargle something. It definitely helps with the dry mouth. Second, while I can eat I drink a crap ton of water, and I don't eat anything overly salty. Third, sometimes I take a tranquilizer before midnight so I don't have to worry about these feelings in the first place.

Oh well, in the meantime I'm gonna try and forget about that feeling and just focus on the puppies for now. They're probably gonna kill us when we don't provide them with noms tomorrow morning ;)

Crippie's Tippie - Regardless of how much you hate the no food/drink after midnight rule, DO NOT BREAK IT!!! 

How To Piss Off Crippie

Ohai!

This isn't a giant cripple rant post! I'm just answering a cripple question... I SWEAR!

Before I get to the cripple question, I must make a tiny confession. Today (yesterday, whatever) I was going to go to the animal shelter and adopt the walking wig that is Meatloaf, but alas... he found a home on Saturday. Congrats to Meatloaf's new owners... let's hope he gets a nice hair trim. Crippie will continue to check Petfinder and Craigslist for piggies. Who knows, maybe one of these days I'll find a piggie to add to my herd. Just a quick tip for people searching Craigslist for piggies... be wary of people selling baby pigs, they could very well be "back-door breeders". These guys know little about pig genetics and you could very easily wind up with a very sick little pig. Not to mention the whole breeding is insanely dangerous for the mommy and the babies thing.

Moving on, since posting some of my infamous "STOP COMPLAINING" cripple rants I've been asked "Apart from your oh so subtle hatred of complaining, do normals do anything else to grind your gears?"

Well, the complaining thing is without a doubt my top pet peeve. I find it absolutely infuriating at times. Crippie does have some other pet peeves that annoy the hell out of me. Again, these peeves annoy me... they don't make me really angry or anything, they just piss me off.

This Is Just God's Way Of _______________

Sorry if this offends anyone, but when anyone tells me that my disability is part of God's plan for me, or God's way of teaching me something I get annoyed. The concept of God wanting me suffer seems so cruel. I can't imagine a loving God willingly doing that to a person. I hate this approach to disability in general. There is no reason for people to be disabled... it just happens. Crippie can however recognize that people are entitled to their own religious opinions. Whenever someone tells me this I usually just keep my mouth shut and brush it off. 

OMG YOU'RE SO LUCKY!!!!

There are perks to being a cripple, and these perks are nice to have (handicapped parking, etc.) But when a Normal tells me that I'm lucky for having these perks I get angry. When I was in school so many people would tell me how lucky I was that I didn't have to go to gym class. Crippie wanted to say "Don't you know how lucky you are that you CAN go to gym class?!?!?!". People don't realize that while cripples do have the occasional benefit we pay a heavy price for them. I would much rather be a normal without the perks than be a cripple with the perks. 

Stop Being Lazy!

Crippie has chronic fatigue, so I get very tired very easily. I hate when people call me lazy for one reason or another. CRIPPIE IS NOT LAZY! CRIPPIE IS GENUINELY TIRED!!! 

and on an issue unrelated to disability "You know that people eat guinea pigs right?"

OMG STOP, CRIPPIE IS AWARE THAT PEOPLE EAT GUINEA PIGS! You can stop telling me stories about how some dude on the food channel ate a guinea pig, or sending me a video of people picking out their piggie, cooking them, and eating them. First off, people don't technically eat guinea pigs, they eat Cuy, a larger version of guinea pigs. Second, my piggies are my babies, I DO NOT WANT TO THINK OF THEM DEAD! It's not funny. It's not nice. Next time someone jokes about eating one of my pigs because they are wheeking, I'll take that pig out and make them urinate on the offender. Crippie knows how to make them pee on command. I'll do it. Nobody puts my babies in a corner! 

That's about it, the piggie one probably annoys me most of all. In other news, Crippie is still trying to go to sleep. I tried playing The Sims last night in order to get me tired... it kinda worked. Tonight I tried blogging... CLEARLY did not work seeing as how it's almost 5 in the morning. Crippie wishes she were more like her babies, they can sleep anywhere at any time.

If I fits, I sleeps

Food Coma snuggles

Crippie's Tippie - If you tell a cripple that they are lucky to have a disability, there is a fair chance that they will beat your senseless with their mobility aid.

Still Waiting For It.............................

Greetings!

The Mama Pig Update - The patient has stabilized! Mama Pig no longer needs to be monitored every night or every other night. She will now be monitored on a "oohhh there's something good on TV that Mama Pig will enjoy basis". In other words, she does not need to be monitored anymore. We'll just keep ours eyes on her when we take her out for snuggles. Mama Pig's last monitoring was Saturday. She and I watched my other favorite reality show other than "16 and Pregnant/Teen Mom" which is "Oddities". Mama Pig was enthralled with show, not to mention some special blueberry treats. Mama Pig pooped up a storm all within a relatively short amount of time! Mama Pig has gotten her groove back! YAY MAMA PIG!

I'm glad that Mama Pig and I have similar tastes in reality TV, because most of the people in my house don't enjoy these shows as much I do. BTW, if any of you guys have the Science Channel and a strong stomach, Crippie totally recommends "Oddities" its about an antique shop in NYC that sells freaky, creepy stuff. Crippie enjoys it because there is no other show on TV where you hear things like "I'm looking for a mummified head please" or "Actually this is a necklace made out of gallstones". It's just bizarre and I love it. Crippie told her mom that when Fanny is removed I want to keep it, polish it, and turn it into a necklace. The look on her face was priceless!

Speaking of Fanny... still waiting for my results, my doctor should get the images tomorrow. Let's keep our fingers crossed for "good enough" news. Crippie realllyyyyyy wants to know what her doctor thinks cause Fanny is being a literal pain in the ass. All the recent weather changes have cause a bit of a Fanny flare up. It now hurts whenever I move my hip to get up, sit down, etc. It's the weirdest thing, it's like I can feel Fanny rubbing against something (probs a muscle)... not a comfortable feeling at all.

Crippie thinks that her dogs have sensed that I've been in a lot of pain because they keep wanting to hang out with me. Angel is usually a very private dog, but all of the sudden she wants chill in my room with me. She's even been sleeping in my room. Angel has her own (very comfy) bed in my parent's room, yet, she's been choosing to sleep on my carpet. And Helen usually sleeps on her (very comfy) bed in my sister's room. For the past couple of nights she's been getting restless, wandering the halls at night, and crying until she is placed in my bed for a sleepover. Once here, she finds "her" throw pillow and sleeps on my bed. Helen was even browsing reddit with me ;) It's good to know that these little furballs are looking out for Crippie.

Completely random, but Crippie has discovered that she has a hidden talent. Apparently I can bark like a dog... really well. Crippie found out this gem of while I had Helen out in the yard, I was playing with her by barking like a dog. All of the sudden I hear all of my neighbor's dog's barking at me! Reckon my dog bark is pretty convincing :D I tried my "amazing" dog bark with Angel, she gave me a look that probably meant "Are you on drugs or something?" Crippie now feels the need to prove to Angel that my dog bark is convincing. 

Crippie's Tippie - Moist heat is God's gift to cripples

Piggie Post: Obtaining Pigs

Ohai

Two "Piggie Posts" in a row... WHAT IS THIS MADNESS! Crippie had a very busy day. Apart from seeing an adorable production of "A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum" Crippie had to go to the pet store to obtain dog food and guinea pig treats, and while we were in the area we bought an extra bag of piggie treats and brought them to our local animal shelter. Going to the two main places to obtain a guinea pig in the same day really highlights the differences between the two.

First off, all of my piggies came from the pet store. Crippie was not a very educated customer at the time.

If you are serious about obtaining a pig, AVOID PET STORES. Why?

1) Depending on where you live there are tooooooooooooooons of guinea pigs in shelters.

2) Pet store guinea pigs are not properly taken care of... for example a few months ago Crippie saw some guinea pigs at her local mom and pop pet store. There were two adults and two babies. I held one of the adults and saw that she was a female (I know how to check the genders of guinea pigs) then I held the other adult and much to my horror it was a boy. That is reallllllllyyyyyyyyy bad. I soon as I saw that I knew that the adult female (who has to be under a year old) was pregnant again. The problem with that is that guinea pigs have a high mortality rate when it comes to childbirth, for both the mom and the babies. I asked the owner of the store why a boar was being housed with a sow and he promptly removed the male. I returned today to find this same female but with four new babies. Thankfully she seems to be alright, but that poor girl had 6 babies within a few months :(

3) Pet store pigs have a higher chance of not being healthy. On average guinea pigs live for 6 years. My Emma was 3 when she died and Frida has tumors. Part of me wonders if this is because of careless inbreeding. Nellie, Emma, and Frida were born in the pet store. Me thinks Mama Pig was accidentally placed with a male, possibly one she was related to. Pet store living conditions have been known to cause Upper Respiratory Infections which can kill pigs.

Crippie is not completely against store pigs, so if you do obtain a store pig limit the amount of money the store gets from the pig. Pigs are relatively cheap. It's their cages, bedding, hay, and food that are expensive. DO NOT BUY A PET STORE CAGE, they are too small. Buy a C&C cage beforehand and have it ready for your pig. Buy your hay and food online (it's ultimately cheaper too) and you can probably find tons of great guinea pig toys online. Have everything ready so you only buy the pigs at the store... nothing else.

Breeders are an option as well for obtaining pigs, but I seriously don't recommend them. Mainly because of the high mortality rate for the pigs and the fact that inbred piggies have issues. If you want a certain breed, check petfinder and craigslist daily... one will pop up sooner or later.

Crippie went to the shelter today to deliver the treats and naturally I had to give them to the piggies myself. There are two boars at the local shelter, a crested and a silke-shorthair mix (two uncommon breeds right there... hint hint people who want to obtain one from a breeder). If Crippie had the resources to take care of them she would have scooped them up.

Even though Crippie can't adopt them I want to make sure that they go to good home. These guys are a bonded pair and need to be adopted together. The top one is an attention whore. As soon as I walked into the room he was like 'LOOK AT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE". The one on the bottom is very shy, mainly because their prior owners did not take care of them properly. But Crippie thinks that within a week or two of cuddles and treats he'll be fine. If you click on their pictures you can see their petfinder profiles.

Crippie actually decided to volunteer at the animal shelter to help take care of the piggies. These boys are in desperate need of cuddles. 

Crippie's Tippie - Piggies are not low maintenance animals, and if you really want a pig... ADOPT!

Sup Dawg?

Yo!

Thank you all so much for the ninja vibes and advice with Angel, we really appreciate it. Angel is pretty much all better now. She's not putting full weight on that paw yet, but she's putting some on it. Fortunately she can walk enough so we don't have to pick her up.
It's funny, Angel absolutely hates being picked up for any reason, and Helen absolutely loves being held. Sadly, Angel tends to get a bad reputation for her whole "not being affectionate" thing, and that really irks Crippie. Angel is very loving, caring, and highly intelligent... but people can't look past the fact that she will nip at you if you try to pick her up. I dunno, maybe it's the whole "I'm crippled and thus am used to things not being perfect" thing but I'm not angry at Angel for this. Angel was abused, I don't even want to know what people have done to her. If she doesn't want people touching her and or getting too close to her I understand that and I respect her wishes. Crippie cannot stand when people call her a "bad dog" or heaven forbid suggest putting her down (seriously people, WTF). Does she have some issues, sure... but overall she is a very good girl. To me that's like saying "Oh, you're a cripple... you're a horrible person". Angel is like any other member of our family... either physically or mentally disabled!
Well, I guess this post turned out to be a CrippleRant/vent. So in conclusion Angel is a very good and misunderstood puppy. And now... PICTURES!

I enjoy watching day time TV

I'm resting my paw... and my entire body

How could anyone hate this face? 

Crippie's Tippie - If you're getting a pet, get them from a rescue. These guys deserve a good home.

Awe, Temporarily Crippled Puppy

Ohai Everyone!

Crippie hopes all of her readers are having a lovely week this far. The weather is still kinda kicking my ass, but at least my allergy meds are keeping the whole "not being to breathe" thing at bay. Apart from the weather there isn't much new and or excited to report about... oh wait, Crippie forgot to mention that her dog is now the biggest cripple in the house.
On Sunday night our not blind dog Angel was perfectly fine. When we awoke Monday morning Angel was not using one of her front paws! She was hobbling around the house and wouldn't let us touch her paw, so clearly something was wrong. We took her to the vet and the vet figured that the probably sprained or twisted her lil' footie sometime during the night. She was given pain medicine and she'll be fine with a few days rest. Lucky for us Angel enjoys resting so that won't be a problem. Unlucky for us, Angel can't go up and down stairs for now so someone has to carry her. No big deal right? Lol, wrong. Angel was more than likely abused by prior owners and does not like being picked up... at all... ever... under any circumstances. To solve this fun little problem, my sister has to wear really thick gloves and a really thick jacket in order to pick Angel up (once she has her Angel tends to settle down, it's the whole picking up process that is tricky). Any tips for picking the dog up readers?
Since Angel's pain meds are keeping her comfortable and she'll be all better in a few days, I have absolutely no guilt in saying what I'm about to say. Crippie is getting a kick out of having a dog that limps around like she does. Her tails wags when I say "WHO'S MY LITTLE CRIPPLE... YOU ARE!!!" I also find it amusing how she has mastered the "My paw hurt... I deserve treats" look. She will limp towards you and stare at you while dangling her paw. Angel's alway's been smart that way, I guess she takes after her auntie ;)

My life is so hard, woe is me. Bacon would make it better though, yeaaaaaah, bacon

Crippie's Tippie - Injured doggies deserve more treats ;)

Angel's Tippie - Why just injured dogs? I deserve more treats anyway!

Heat Pack Challenge - Day 15

Hello!

First off, thank you all for the kind words about my product review, I really hope y'all enjoyed it. Crippie certainly had a lot of fun making it, although I realized that you could probably have a drinking game for every time I said "FREAKIN' AWESOME" but hey... all the more reason to watch the video, right ;)

Moving on, it's been a little over a week since I mentioned my FREAKIN AWESOME (yeah, I'm owning up to it) heat pack. I decided to name my heat pack Neil Patrick Harris, cause let's face it... NPH IS FREAKIN AWESOME. I've been using NPH every night for at least two hours and my pain levels have significantly decreased. The combination of heat and pain meds has put Crippie in a pretty happy place as far as pain management goes, and that's (say it with me now) FREAKIN AWESOME! Again, Crippie is well aware that using a heat pack for the duration of time is not recommended, but Crippie don't give a damn!

Since it's a short post today, here's some pictures of the animals!

Mama Pig being cute

Way to ruin the picture mom - Aggi

Helen sleeping on my bed

Angel says "What? Your bed is comfy... sue me" (and thats my old heat pack next to her)

Crippie's Tippie - Heat packs are awesome, but they are not magic cure alls. If something is really bothering you consult a doctor.