Damned If You Jew

Greetings!

I hope all of my American readers had a dandy fourth of July! Mine went pretty well. My sister and I cooked a rather nomerful dinner for the family. My job was to cook hamburgers. The house didn't burn down and no one got food poisoning so I consider my venture into cooking vastly successful. I was also able to see some lovely fireworks by walking down my road and standing on a neighbor's lawn. The neighbor's Puggle (Pug and Beagle mix) wasn't exactly fond of my presence. It was basically saying "RUB MY TUMMY OR GTFO", so the Puggle got belly rubs while we watched the fireworks.

Yup, that was my fourth of July. Alas, my fourth of July weekend kinda sucked. I attended the funeral for my childhood friend. That of course is insanely sad to begin with and that alone could have easily made for an incredibly somber weekend. But, as luck would have it events at said funeral made it worse. The minister or whoever was proceeding over the service in an attempt to comfort everyone in the room started on this whole big "believe in Jesus and you will get into heaven" speech. So Crippie, along with a fair amount of people in the room (including members of my friend's family) were damned to hell! Funness! I've been damned to hell before in other religious ceremonies before and I usually don't take much offense to it. But I came to that funeral to mourn my friend, not to be to told that "Jesus is your key to heaven". That put an additional damper on the weekend that's for sure.

The cherry on top was when the idiot minister started talking about how this was all part of "God's plan". I'm sorry if this offends anyone, but I genuinely do not understand how that can be seen as comforting and frankly I find it upsetting. God wanted my friend to die? God wants a family to suffer? What kind of loving God would do that? This doesn't just apply to this one situation, but in life as a whole. I cannot tell you how many times I've heard something along the lines of "Your disability is part of God's plan for you". God wanted me to be like this? The hell man? God wants me to learn some valuable lesson? If God was so all powerful he'd be able to find better ways to go about these lessons. Is it a test? Something like the Book of Job? If so, that's equally stupid. God destroys Job's life to prove a point to the devil, why should God care about what the devil thinks anyway? Sure, he "gives it back" in the end, but I doubt that Job forgot about the family he lost.

Since I'm going on and on about how much I disagree with this theory I should probably state my own. Clearly I'm not a terribly religious person, but my answer as to why terrible things like this happen is this... There is no reason as to why these things happen. They just do unfortunately. We can try to learn from what we have experienced and let the terrible events mold us into better people or we can let them ruin us. The choice is up to you and you alone.

Again, I'm sorry if I offended anyone, these opinions are mine and mine alone. I completely understand that everyone has the right to believe whatever their little hearts desire. If you believe that God has a plan for everyone and that makes you happy, good for you. I'd never flat out call anyone an idiot for believing that. Just a heads up for people who do believe that, be careful when trying to comfort someone in a time of great hardship. It might comfort them sure, but they could also share Crippie's philosophy and get pissed.

What do y'all think? Am I missing the point of something? Feel free to comment and explain the God's Plan thing to me, I'm genuinely curious as to how it is seen as comforting.

To make up for the heavyness of this post, here's Helen contemplating life

Who am I? What am I? Where am I?

Crippie's Tippie - Believe whatever makes you happy

A Time to Laugh, A Time to Weep

Greetings,

Thank you all so much for your warm regards, they've meant a lot to me and to my family.

It's been a rough couple of days for me. It's funny, the weather was starting to improve and my pain levels were starting to decrease, I was on the up and up and then BAM... death. It doesn't hurt quite as much as it did when Emma died, purely because Emma's death was completely out of left field. She was practically healed when she went on a rapid decline and was dead within 12 hours. Not to mention she was only 3... she had so much time left. At least with Mama Pig I had those few days to brace myself for what was coming. She didn't respond to the medicine, she didn't eat, she didn't move. I'm convinced that she didn't die of the URI, but of old age. She just went on a rapid decline and she couldn't bounce back from it, regardless of how early we caught her URI (we caught it pretty early). 5 to 6 is the average lifespan for a piggie, so I don't feel completely robbed of time with her.

Regardless of how much I rationalize the situation, it still freaking sucks. Pulling out 5 treats and realizing you only need 4. Seeing 2 massive crosses in our yard (she's buried next to Emma). All that crap that reminds me that she's not here. I've been coping to the best of my abilities, watching funny youtube videos, eating lots of chocolate, fun stuff like that. It helps, I know that even though this royally sucks now, this too shall pass.

The piggies seem to be adjusting. We put new toys in now trio's cage, so that keeps them occupied. Nellie doesn't particularly seem to notice that anything is different. Maggie is to enthralled with her new hay-based to toys to notice anything. Frida on the other hand... she knows. As I said in my last post they were very close. I've been taking Frida out for lots of one on one snuggles, just put her in a bed and let her listen to her favorite musician Lady Gaga and her new other favorite Skrillex (I don't know why she likes that crap, but she does).

I was blasting Skrillex for her... she promptly fell asleep

She is showing some signs piggie depression. Mainly behavioral changes. She's turning into the asshole she once was, standing on Nellie's head, nipping Nellie's butt. Stuff like that. We'll just have to give her special attention until she adjusts. Just a friendly reminder, piggie depression is a very serious issue. Pigs can become so consumed with grief that they stop eating, become sick, and ya know... die. So be sure to take extra good care of your surviving furbabies. Supply them with goodies and treats. Their feelings are pretty easily influenced. 

I just realized that I had 2 posts about death this month... what the hell man? 

And if anyone is wondering, while yes my family normally does kinda celebrate Passover, we didn't this year. Granted, we had Matzoh Ball Soup and I've been listening to the "The Prince of Egypt" soundtrack several times a day. But no one in the house is exactly in the mood to do much for the holiday. 

So yeah... happy Passover to all my Jewish readers, and I hope all my goy readers had a lovely Good Friday

Crippie's Tippie - Seriously watch your surviving pigs like a hawk. Make sure they are entertained and well fed. 

Crippie Meets A Bunch of Dead Relatives

Greetings

Yup, I still suck at posting regularly. On the bright side, April is another "National Health Blog Post Month" so hopefully that will get me back into a blogging routine again.

As today's title suggests, this week has been an interesting one. There was a death in the family over the weekend so I attended the funeral in NYC on Sunday. I don't want to say I had a "good time" but it was certainly an unusual day. Apart from seeing lots of living relatives I got to "meet" some of my relatives who are no longer with us. Before the service we went to a nearby cemetery to visit a family plot where some of my great-grandparents and great-great-grandparents on my father's side are buried. It was nice to be formally introduced to them.

Those were not the only living-impared relatives I met on Sunday. Before I tell you, here's a little backstory. The funeral was held at the cemetery, it is a MASSIVE Jewish cemetery in NYC. When I say massive I mean MASSIVE. Dead Jews as far as the eye can see (yup, I'm going to hell). Here's picture of a teensy weensy corner so you can get a slight visual idea.

The relative we lost was on my father's side of the family. Once we found out which cemetery she'd be laid to rest in we realized we had other relatives there... on my mother's side of the family. We figured we'd visit them if we could, but hell, this cemetery is so huge chances are we won't be able to. Weeeeellllllllllllll it turns out that my newly deceased aunt on my father's side is buried eerily close to my relatives on my mother's side. Less than a 5 minute walk to visit both of 'em. That's pretty freaking amazing, especially considering the size of this place. Thus I was formally introduced to some of my great-grandparents and great-great-grandparents on my mother's side. I enjoyed seeing my great-grandparents and giving them all their appropriate greetings. But man, it really is a small world after all.

After the service I went to a restaurant with my living relatives and we all celebrated my late aunt with family, memories, and delicious food.

I miss my aunt very much, she was a strong, independent women who loved life. She stayed strong all the way to the end. When she found out that her time was coming, she decided to make the best out of the situation and planned for a kick-ass service. Seriously, it was a lovely service and everything looked lovely, as per her specifications ;)

Love you Aunt Bobs, rise & fly.

Crippie's Tippie - Like I've said before, appreciate the people you have while you have them.

One of "Those" People

Happy 6th night of Hanukkah y'all!

I hope everyone is continuing to enjoy this holiday season. I've been kinda lazy about the whole holiday thing this year. I get home from work, I eat dinner, and then I pass out. Not much room for lighting Hanukkah candles. I should be conscious enough to light 'em tomorrow... hopefully.

Now on to tonight's question, it's not really a jew-ey question but a LOT of people ask it. "Are you one of those people who buys presents for your guinea pigs?" The answer... HELL YEAH I AM. I actually bought the animals pressies before obtaining gifts for my human family members. What did the pigs get this year? Mainly things that they needed. Mama Pig got vitamins (which she LOVES), Aggie got a mirror so she can kinda be social (she doesn't care about the mirror), and the rest got some shnazzy beds. It looks like a dog bed for a really tiny dog (a chihuahua could probably sleep in one comfortably). Nellie, Mama, and Maggie adore their new bed and they have having issues sharing it. Someone *coughNELLIEcough* has realized that if you burrow underneath the bed you will knock out whoever is currently in it. Maybe they'll learn to share one say... *sigh* As for the puppies, Angel and Helen got a special bag of treats that they enjoy immensely.

Nellie says "Dis is mai bed. I has a comfy. If Mama of Maggie tries to get mai bed I will keeel them" 

Angel says "I eated my pressie, now I sad cuz I has no more pressies"

In cripple news, I'm beginning the whole fighting for my disability claim thing. They said they didn't have enough information... which is complete bull crap. I got everything I needed from work and now I'm getting everything needed on the medical side. Let's hope no mistakes are made this time.

Jew-ey's Tippie - If you're gonna obtain a present for you pet... but super practical about what you get 'em. Only things they need or without question will love very much. Otherwise you look like a crazy person. 

Hanukkah Starts WHEN?!?!?!

Happy Hanukkah Y'all!

I hope everyone is having an awesome holiday season thus far. So far mine's been pretty good. Yesterday I went to see my sister's holiday choral concert and then we all went out for my birthday dinner. Steak is awesome. It was a fun time had by all.

Now, on to a "Jew-ey" question. People often ask me "So, why does Hanukkah start on a different day every year?" This year it started on the 8th of December, next year starts on the 27th of November (too early for my liking, but whatever). Why does it start on a different day each year? Here's the thing, Hanukkah always starts on the 25th... of Kislev (Hebrew Calendar). Yup, the date changes based on the Hebrew Calendar. It always falls sometime between late November and late December.

Related question... "Do you remember or memorize when Hanukkah is gonna start each year?" Personally, NOPE. I google it in November ;) I might remember next year's simply because it is so damn early. Late November Hanukkahs are on the rare side too so it's kinda special.

Another related question... "What happens when Hanukkah falls on your birthday?" This happens fairly often, we just celebrate both as usual. We still light the menorah, we still have copious amounts of birthday cake, the only difference is that I might get more pressies on that day ;)

Soooooo, in non-jew-ey cripple news, I got a letter today informing me that I was rejected for my disability claim I made when I had Fanny removed. Yup, it's about 3 months later and I'm just finding this out. This could be a "we're just testing you" rejection, and I have every intention of fighting it. Any tips on dealing with these fun little situations readers?

Jew-ey's Tippie - Holiday decorations aren't exclusive to Christmas, add some nice gold lights and some blue and gold garland and you've got yourself a shnazzy set-up

Crippie The Theatre Nerd

Ohai

First off... CRIPPIE MISSED THE LAST THE DAY OF PASSOVER...  I'M SORRRYYYYYY. Crippie's lack of sleep usually catches up with her on Saturdays. This was literally Crippie's thought process yesterday "Must... blog... last day of passover... must post... more Prince of Egypt songs..." and then I passed out for the night. Fun fact: Crippie dreamed that she posted the last Prince of Egypt song and then a bunch of lawyers came to my door and told me to stop posting Prince of Egypt songs. I told them "BUT IT'S PASSOVER!" and since they were all Jews they let me go with a warning. I guess I'm kinda a racist in my dreams ;)
Moving on, Crippie had a super awesome fun day. My mom and sister were performing in a fundraiser for a local theatre company. Apart from the general awesomeness of seeing them sing Crippie also got to see some Broadway and Off-Broadway actors sing! I even got to talk to some of them! My family entire family had a very pleasant conversation with someone who played Javert in "Les Miserables". I took some videos and photos but I don't think I can legally share them with you guys :(
Crippie absolutely loves days like this because, well, Crippie loves the theatre. It's probably because damn near everyone in Crippie's family is a broadway dork, from my Grandma who took classes with Lehmen Engel all the way to my 13-year-old cousin who has memorized the soundtrack "The Book of Mormon". It really is a shame that Crippie has zero talent when it comes to the stage. Don't believe me? Well, I'll make you all a deal... once I reach 50 followers on Google Friend Connect I will post a video of me singing show tunes with a guinea pig. Deal? *Shakes on it*

 In the meantime, here's a quick little survey of Crippie's Favorite Broadway things...
Favorite Show - Assassins (I just love the general idea of "LET'S MAKE A MUSICAL ABOUT THE PEOPLE WHO SHOOT PRESIDENTS!")
Least Favorite Show - Carousel ("That was a really nice clam bake" REALLY!?!?!)
Favorite Composer/Lyricist - Stephen Sondheim
Least Favorite Composer/Lyricist - Andrew Lloyd Weber (the only good thing he did was Evita)
Favorite Broadway Actor - NEIL PATRICK HARRIS, and Mandy Patinkin
Favorite Broadway Actress - Bernadette Peters and Angela Lansbury
Favorite Broadway Song - waaaaaaayyyy to many to chose but I love "Edelweiss" from "The Sound of Music"
Favorite Broadway Show That Was Turned Into A Movie - The movie/musical version of "Hairspray" was fabulous, it cut out all the unnecessary camp
Least Favorite Show That Was Turned Into A Movie - Mamma Mia... nuff said
Favorite Movie Turned Into A Show - Once (probably because I kinda know one of the kid's in the show)
Least Favorite Movie Turned Into A Show - Sister Act (I LOVE SISTER ACT II... DON'T RUIN THIS STUFF FOR ME)
Favorite Tony Host - Neil Patrick Harris

Crippie's Tippie - Support "Just Off Broadway", they're a brilliant theatre troop! 

10 Awesome Things

Ohaiiiiiii


Yup, another "The Prince of Egypt" song. This one is about the 10 Plagues. It actually makes for a decent segue to today's HAWMC blog prompt! 10 Things I Couldn’t Live Without. Write a list of the 10 things you need (or love) most. Alrighty, here goes nothin...

1) My Family

- I think this one is pretty obvious, my family is my rock and I love them very much.

2) My Pets

- My pets help me stay sane, they love me regardless of what I can or cannot do. Also, they're freakin' adorable.

3) My Friends

- It's pretty safe to say that my friends are awesome and they support me when things get difficult.

4) My Job

- My job gives me a reason to get out of the house, interact with people, discuss zombies, design things, and makes some money. What's not to love! 

5) My computer

- At times it seems like my entire world is on my computer, especially when it's hard for me to move or to do anything

6) This blog

- Crippie enjoys sharing parts of her life with y'all, the piggies also enjoy the "fame"

7) NPH

- Well, NPH is the greatest actor of all time, but I also mean my heat pack. It's helped my pain levels dramatically.

8) My imagination

- There are times when certain aspects of my life flat out suck, when this happens I use my imagination to take me somewhere else. I don't know what I would be like if I couldn't do that.

9) Graphic design in general

- Looking at pretty things makes me happy. 

10) Funny pictures on the internet

- Sometimes a meme or a kitteh is all that is needed to brighten my days

YAY, Crippie successfully completed the list without coming up with stupid answers!!!!

Crippie's Tippie - Making lists like this help remind you of all the awesome things in your life

Sit On It!

Salutations



Yay, Crippie has finally added some Bob Dylan to the Jew song of the Day! "Go Down Moses" is literally the story of Moses. How could I not add it to my lil' Passover mix, even if it is a Gospel song.
Thanks for all the well wishes and support from yesterday's post. Clearly I wasn't a very happy camper. Crippie's gotten the initial anger and I've pretty much accepted it. Crippie had a day off from work today so I went out to obtain a seat cushion. I sat on a memory foam pillow while I was driving, it helped but I could still feel the damn tumor. I went to my local CVS, I was optimistic that they would have something to help me out. Sure enough, they did.
Crippie went to the "As Seen On TV" section. Amongst the useless crap and pajama jeans I found a "Total Pillow" which is supposed to be a bunch of different pillows rolled into one. I saw that it also functioned as a seat cushion so I decided to give it a go. I used it during the drive home and I was pleasantly surprised. It was comfy and I didn't feel like I was sitting on a rock.

Since this is a "As Seen On TV" product I feel that I am morally obliged to give a full out review of it, cause let's face it, most of these products suck sooooooooooooooooo much. I spent the day fiddling around with my new "Total Pillow" because I had nothing better to do. Shockingly the product does damn near everything it promises. It's moldable, and it usually holds it's shape. It's got those fun squishy beads in it so it's comfy, firm... but comfy. Crippie checked all the seams, it appears sturdy and I don't think it will burst anytime soon. Apart from it's versatility it's also small enough to be portable and not annoying. It'll probs fit in a big pocketbook. Honestly I really don't have anything bad to say about it, and this is coming from someone who HATES "As Seen On TV" products. Crippie finds most of them stupidly annoying.

Crippie's Tippie - If you need special pillows for some reason, Total Pillow is actually a good option

Disability Can Be A Pain In The Ass Sometimes

Greetings!



Another day, another "The Prince Of Egypt" song. "Through Heaven's Eyes" is probably my favorite song from the movie. It's one of those songs that really helps you focus on the positives and realize that your life probably doesn't suck.
Boy howdy, did Crippie need a song like that today. Today was a very bad day pain wise. I don't know if was the weather, Fanny the Ass Tumor, or some other tumor in my pelvic region but the simple act of sitting down was causing Crippie a lot of discomfort. Normally Crippie can sit on a slightly cushioned surface without a problem. Today it felt like I was constantly sitting on a giant rock. Naturally, today would be a day when I had to sit down for about 9 and a half hours at work. Crippie was not impressed by this new development. I've NEVER had issues with sitting before, one of the reasons I chose to become a graphic designer was that I knew that could sit for long periods of time. Of course I can't forget that technically this is making my bum hurt, so that's just embarrassing. Progression of disease sucks.
So, what am I going to do about this? Well, tomorrow I'm probs gonna go obtain some seat cushions, one for my car and one for work. I really don't want to do that because people will think I have a problem with my bum, oh well, you gotta do what you gotta do. Right now I'm literally sitting on NPH (I LOVE HOW THAT SOUNDS) hoping that the heat pack will help. Crippie really hopes this is just some temporary inflammation or something along those lines. If it continues to get worse... surgery number 11.
On the bright side, I was driving home from work, all pissed off because my ass was still uncomfortable in the car... and then I saw something. I saw a rainbow! Crippie got to follow said rainbow home, that has to be a good sign. Right?

To make up for the depressingness of most of this post... here's some guinea pigs

Maggie is puzzled by my camera

Frida wants food now! Look at those lips and teeth!

Holy crap Nellie is fat

Mama Pig snoozing

Aggie with a flower in hair

Crippie's Tippie - Be thankful for what you have while you have it, you never know what can be taken away from you

Pain Wars!

Sup Everybody!



I hope all of my readers had a terrific Tuesday. Crippie's day went rather well, I had work and I took care of the pets... nothin' special. Let's move on to Crippie's Jew song of the day shall we. Today's song has absolutely nothing to do with Passover, but it's one of Crippie's favorite Jew songs. I love "Tzena, Tzena, Tzena" because a) the chorus is super easy to memorize b) Pete Seeger... nuff said.

Continuing on to actual cripple related stuff, Crippie had a very interesting conversation with her co-workers a few days ago. I'm not sure how it happened but somehow or another we got into a "Pain War" where everyone described the most pain that they've ever been in and we then decided who's was worst. Crippie's coworkers where telling tales of scratching their corneas and sinus surgery. Generally speaking I love winning competitions like this. It might seem weird, but if I'm gonna suffer I better win a damn contest for it. Crippie could've easily won this competition by saying "NERVE DAMAGE IN MY LEG. A YEAR'S WORTH OF PAIN. I WIN" but I didn't. Crippie lied and said that getting a tattoo on my ribcage was the most painful thing I've ever experienced. Why? Well, no one at work knows why I'm a cripple, and if I said that I'd kinda have to tell them why. Also my coworker's pains were very much temporary, and thus there is no real pity there. If Crippie said "oh yeah, I had nerve damage when I was ten. It was the worst pain I'll ever experience in my life and it lasted for about a year, although it still hurts from time to time" I'd probably depress the living hell out of my coworkers. Regardless of how I sugarcoat that story, my coworkers would feel sorry for me, and that simply will no do. The main reason Crippie lied was because my manager was competing in this competition... and you ALWAYS let your superiors win!

So what do you guys think? Was Crippie over-analyzing the situation? Was I right in thinking it's probably not a good idea to bring up traumatic childhood situations at work? If you were having a Pain Off at your office what would you say?

Crippie's Tippie - LET YOUR BOSS WIN EVERYTHING 

Everyone Remain Calm!

Yo!




We've got a nifty design related prompt today! But first, the Jew song of the day. Today's song comes from one of Crippie's favorite animated movies ever, "The Prince Of Egypt". Seriously, Crippie loves this movie, apart from the whole "Jew" thing the animation is gorgeous and the music is fantastic. I'll probably be posting more songs from the movie as the week goes on so I figured I'd start with the opening number. It sets the story up brilliantly IMO.
Moving on to cripple business, today's HAWMC blog prompt is super nifty. Keep calm and carry on. Write (and create) your own Keep Calm and Carry On poster. Can you make it about your condition?
For those who don't know "Keep Calm and Carry On" posters were released in 1939 by the British government in an attempt to boost morale as WWII was starting. Over the past several years the posters have made a major comeback in the design and internet worlds. Now there are countless variations to the original poster. You can even go to a website like THIS and generate your own.
As for my poster, I didn't want to make it about my disorder in general. I don't think "Keep Calm and Tumor On" would be terribly entertaining or catchy for that matter, so instead I opted to make a poster for ALL THE CRIPPLES. VOILA!!!!

See, totally awesome and catchy! Fellow cripples, go forth and be awesomely crippled, and as always, keep calm.

Crippie's Tippie - Own your crippledness, people are less likely to treat you like a fragile little handicapped person if you are totally awesome and confident 

Traditiiiiiiiiiiiiiiooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnn

Shalom!




Crippie wishes all of her goyim readers a happy Easter. I hope y'all are enjoying your peeps and spending time with the people you care about.

Crippie had an awesome time with her family for the Seder. Good food. Good family. Good traditions. For a family of pretty agnostic Jews we have several Passover traditions. The most prominent tradition would have to be how we sing a LOT during the Seder. We sing "Dayenu" (Crippie doesn't speak Hebrew, but I've memorized a few prayers and songs), my grandma wrote a song about the "Four Questions" which everyone in the family has memorized, and the last song we sing is "Ani Ma'amin" which is essentially a Jewish version of "We Shall Overcome". The words to "Ani Ma'amin" are from a prayer, but it was put to music during the Holocaust. People sang it as they were being lead to their deaths in the gas chambers. We sing it on Passover not only to remember those lost in the Holocaust but also because the Warsaw Ghetto uprising began on the first night of Passover.

Even though Passover is a holiday with somber undertones, everyone managed to have a very good time. The animals made out like bandits. Angel and Helen got turkey and the piggies got parsley! Crippie was able to drink a small amount of manischewitz, I drank it really slowly and with a bunch of food so I didn't get tipsy, which was nice. I didn't take any NSAIDs last night to be on the safe side.


Crippie's Easter sunday was oddly productive. The weather today was beautiful so I took full advantage of that. Crippie had to take Aggie outside to get some sunshine. Aggie runs a risk of developing osteoporosis, so I'm pretreating her with the occasional dose of vitamin D. She enjoyed her time outside very much. Mainly because she could munch on dandelions (she only liked the stems, not the flower). Crippie was also able to walk to the location where Emma is buried so I visited her for a few minutes. Even though we are Jews, she has a giant cross marking where she is. It's literally 12 times bigger than she was.


Crippie also managed to straighten up her room a little bit... now that's a Passover Miracle!!!!

Crippie's Tippie - Matzoh can be oddly yummy. I know people think it tastes like cardboard but it really is good. Crippie loves egg matzoh with butter and salt. Chocolate covered matzoh is also pretty good.

Haikus For The Handicapped

Happy Passover Everybody!!!!!!!

Crippie is going to follow a blog prompt tonight, but first I must get into my "Jew-ie" mode because tonight is the beginning of Passover. Even though Crippie and her family don't really observe Passover (we had pizza for dinner tonight and I will be working tomorrow) we still celebrate it by having a Seder with the family. This year's Seder is gonna be held at my house tomorrow with a buncha rambunctious Jews! In other words, tomorrow is gonna super exciting and tiring. Crippie might even consume a little bit of alcohol, so do forgive if I don't write a post tomorrow.
One way I'm gonna celebrate this year is by posting one awesome Passover related song per night. Tonight's song is the classic "Dayenu". It tells of the story of the Exodus from Egypt. I also find it very catchy. You can find the lyrics HERE.
Moving away from the Jew-ie goodness tonights HAWMC prompt looks fun. Health haiku. Write a haiku about your health focus. 5 syllables/7 syllables/5 syllables. Write as many as you like. Crippie hasn't written any good haikus since the fourth grade... here goes nothin'

Oh how I love thee

Handicap Parking Permit

Gets all the good spots

Tumor on my hip

You cause me much discomfort

Please go away now

The keloid rises

As big and red as the sun

Freaks out the normals

Watch for the wheelchair

for if you do not see it

it will run you down

The normal watches

The cripple limping along

Dude, we can see you

My cane is bad ass

About all things I am right

I am Dr. House

Heat packs are awesome

The pain leaves as it warms up

Just don't burn yourself

THAT WAS FUN! Now that I think about it, Crippie's teachers were always impressed with her mad haiku skills.

Crippie's Tippie - Have a happy and healthy Passover and Easter!!!! 

Happy Chris... Han... Hol... Whatever

Yo!

I don't know about you guys but the weather has been kicking Crippie's ass for the past few days. I'm not usually one to complain about how much pain I am in... but Crippie is having a flair up and is thus not a happy camper. I'd probably rate today and yesterday as a 9 on the pain scale (for reference I put having a tattoo on my ribcage as an 8 with my normal pain level around 4). Everything below my skull is hurting. Not cool body... not cool. Yeah, Crippie spent the past several nights setting Sims on fire to feel better.

Moving on to the Jew-ey goodness! The question that I am most frequently asked is "What do you think about the 'War on Christmas'?" Maybe it's the pain talking... but I feel that a Crippie Rant is the only way to properly answer this question...

<CrippieRant>
Dear people in the majority... STFU YOU ARE IN THE MAJORITY! There is no great conspiracy to get rid of Christmas, there is no one telling you that you cannot celebrate Christmas. Do you think that the Jews, Muslims, Hindus, etc all meet every Wednesday and discuss how to overthrow your religion? Pul-lease... we meet every other Saturday for brunch and discuss 90's Nickelodeon shows. Stop being offended when a store greeter says "Happy Holidays", it's all encompassing. Just keep in mind that just because you are the majority that doesn't mean that your holiday is the only holiday that people celebrate. Keep your Christ in Christmas... but ya know being loving and tolerant of other religions could be another way to keep Christ in Christmas ;)


The only thing I'm gonna agree with you guys with is that sometimes people try toooooo hard to be PC and all encompassing. There is no such thing as a "Holiday Tree"and "Hanukkah Harry" is borderline offensive depending on the costume. 
</CrippieRant>

Agree? Disagree? Let Crippie know in the comment section!

On a completely un-rant related Jew topic... my Grandma is making Latkes tonight... I'm really looking forward to them.

Jew-ie's Tippie- Latkes are awesome and should be embraced by everyone this Holiday season. And seriously, there is nothing wrong with saying "Happy Holidays" 

Put On Your Yarmulke...

Shalom!

I hope all of my wonderful readers had a wonderful weekend and Monday. I worked on Saturday and did some last minute Hanukkah shopping. On Sunday I went to a family holiday party and had a lovely time, I had a lot of noms and I met a turtle. So I would say my weekend was rather fun.
It was a refreshing change because mid-Decembers have really sucked for my family for past few years. My maternal Grandfather died on December 18th 2007 and my paternal Grandfather died on December 19th 2009, RIP Grumpy & PopPop, love ya lots. Yeah, and this year we're coping with our Aunt's recent passing. Death sucks. It's hard to deal with but I have a feeling that they are watching over us. Spending time with the family definitely helps ease the sadness.
Moving on to happier topics... IT'S ALMOST HANUKKAH!!! I love when Hanukkah falls around this time of year, it starts before and ends after Christmas :D. I figured since it's the Holiday season I'd answer "Jew-ie" questions for the next few days. So if anyone has any question for me, bring 'em on. I'll ease in to this whole "Jew" topic with a Crippie/Jew-ie crossover question... "Which do you find more offensive, Cripple jokes or Jew jokes?"

Honestly it all depends on the joke, I find lighthearted cripple and jew jokes heilarious. Anne Frankly, as long as the joke isn't terribly mean spirited I don't care. There is a line though, once you start implying that disabled people are lesser individuals or unwanted I take offense. As for Jew jokes I can take the "cheap" jokes pretty well (mainly cause I am really freakin' cheap) same with any other stereotype based joke. Holocaust jokes are another story though. Clearly I have no problem with lame puns, Nazi, and Hitler jokes but a line is crossed when you start making jokes about the Jews or the camps. Those camps represent the absolute worst of man, there's really nothing humorous about them. So I guess I would say I find really bad Jew jokes more offensive than really bad Cripple jokes.

Jew-ie's Tippie - Unless you pretty damn sure that no one in your general area won't be offended... keep the jokes to yourself or to the internet. Chances are your joke will be considered funny on the internet. 

First, They Came For Disabled People

Hello,

For the past two weekends I had the privilege to see Orange County Community College's production of "The Diary of Anne Frank". My sister played Margot Frank (and did a great job btw) so I saw the show four times. Watching the story of the Frank family, the van Pel family, and Mr. Pfeffer reminded me of several things. The first being NEVER ever hate someone because of who they are and what they cannot control. The show also reminded me to always be thankful for what you have, while Anne Frank was frustrated with the conditions in the annex, she knew it was paradise compared to the concentration camps.

Seeing the show made me so grateful to be living in the time that I do in the place that I do. If I was alive in Europe during the Holocaust and did not escape, my death would have been a near certainty. Along with the fact that I am Jewish, I'm also disabled. The Nazis targeted the disabled community first. Over 250,000 disabled individuals perished in the holocaust. People with genetic abnormalities were also sterilized, so if I wasn't killed I would have been sterilized at the very least. It's absolutely revolting to think that people would have wanted me dead for being a disabled Jew.

 I am thankful that times have changed for the most part we must remember that it is never okay to harm someone because they are different, regardless of the scale of the harm. So to the people who think I'm going to hell because I'm a Jew, to the people who teased me because I'm a cripple, it is that kind of behavior that allowed the Holocaust to happen. We cannot allow a tragedy like that again, never again.

For more information on the disabled victims of the Holocaust, go HERE.

Crippie's Tippie- Do not hate, as Anne Frank said "all people are truly good at heart".