Achy Breaky Hips

Oh Hello

I hope y'all are having a lovely week thus far. I didn't have work today, which was good because I was so damn achy today I could hardly move. Basically I stayed in bed with my heat pack all day. Even though Fanny is gone I still have tumors inside my hip sockets... and those also hurt like a mofo. I'm starting to feel better now, but I'm kinda peeved that my day was kinda consumed with pain. Freakin' weather. Oh well, at least the next few days look better.

Anyways, as promised to make up for yesterday's sucky post. Here's some pictures of Helen's Halloween costume. Just a quick pre-face... Helen actually enjoys wearing clothes, plus she gets cold very easily so they do serve some function. Last year she was a unicorn complete with Neil Patrick Harris riding her (Harold & Kumar joke). This year we opted for something a little... different. Any last guesses people?

If you guessed a pink hippo in a tutu... CONGRATULATIONS! You win a cookie. Clearly Helen is super excited about Halloween. I put the costume on her to take the pictures... and she fell asleep. Me thinks it's because it's a really snuggly fabric, guess she considers it to be a blankie. One of these days I'll try to get some photos of Helen the hippo when she's conscious.

If anyone is wondering, Helen is the only animal that has Halloween costumes. Angel does not like clothes nor do want to risk our lives to attempt to put anything on her. The pigs have their guinea bee costume, but I can only keep it on 'em for a few minutes tops. Apart from their general hatred of the costume, they'd probably pee on it if I left it on 'em for more than five minutes. And I just don't feel like washing pee out of a bee costume. In the end Helen enjoys clothes, so Helen wears clothes.

I should totally do a post one day dedicated to Helen's fashions, would anyone like that?

Crippie's Tippie - If your animal hates costumes, don't force 'em to wear one. 

...... RESULTS!

At long last, I can complete the "How I Met Your Mother" joke! But first...

The Mama Pig Update - Mama started stabilizing again last night once I began flushing her. She stopped peeing blood again and is acting like nothing ever happened. I'm gonna keep flushing her for the next few days just to make sure it's all gone.

Now... for the MRI results... drum pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee *dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum*
Fanny is pressing on a muscle and my sciatic nerve. That being said, my doctor doesn't think Fanny is a threat to my overall well being and it is completely up to Crippie whether or not I want to remove her. I WANT TO REMOVE HER... she really hurts! Since Fanny is totally NOT CANCEROUS I can wait for a convenient time to remove her. Maybe in the fall... we'll see. As for the pelvic issue, my doctor couldn't find anything in the MRI that would be causing those issues. So, his original guess that my lack of "junk in the trunk" mixed with a lot of sitting has caused my pain is probably the case. The MRI also picked up some other little tidbits and tumors, but nothing of use. So overall Crippie is a relatively healthly 23-year-old with bone condition and a massive tumor on the back of her hip... apart from those things... all is well! Crippie is soooooooooooo pleased with her MRI results, I really couldn't have asked for anything better... so thanks for all the ninja vibes guys... THEY TOTALLY WORKED!

Crippie feels sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo relieved that there is no urgency to get rid of Fanny. I've lived with her pain for years, I can wait for a convenient time. Speaking of which... next step will be telling my boss that I need to take 2.5 weeks off work to have surgery. At least I can wait for a really slow period in the work schedule. Any tippies for telling a boss that you need surgery?

Crippie's Tippie - Look on the bright side... I could be pissed about how I'm gonna need surgery to fix my hip problem, but I'm just happy that my hip problem can be fixed!

Well, There's Your Problem

'Ello

The Mama Pig Update - Mama continues to stabilize. She still not 100% back to normal. I'd probably say she's about 90%. Crippie is gonna monitor her throughout the day tomorrow since I don't have work. Since Mama Pig is feeling better I can finally devote more time to my other piggies. Tonight I was chilling with Nellie. Nellie missed all the snuggles.

I call this look "Stare Vacantly at the Wall While Mommy Gives Me Rubs"

Crippie was supposed to have her second MRI in a few hours. BUT we ended up canceling it. Why? Because the people at the radiologist's office called us and said that the first MRI should provide my doctor with all of the information he needs. Crippie is gonna pick up the MRI disc tomorrow and send it to my doctor. If this is the case, that my problems are so blatantly obvious that a second MRI is not needed... CRIPPIE REALLY WANTS TO KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON! Crippie is pretty sure that Fanny is pressing on the sciatic nerve but I have no clue with what's causing my sitting problems. I really hope the answer is super obvious and more importantly, super easy to treat. Although, Crippie is being very cautious about this new development of sorts, cause let's face it, the radiology office could just be seeing tumors and assuming that they are the cause of my problems. Once Crippie's ortho sees the images from my first MRI he'll let us know whether I need another MRI or not. 

The heat wave has been continuing by me. It was again insanely hot on Tuesday. Crippie shockingly decided to wear shorts to work (it's hot and our dress code is very relaxed). I'll admit even though I am ok with showing my legs and my scars to random people, I was afraid that my coworkers would notice all my scars. Yes, I already walk with a cane so it's kinda obvious that something ain't right... but I don't like having my coworkers know the extent of my crippledness. I'm afraid that once I make it really obvious people will always treat me "special". For now they treat me like any other coworker, I like being treated like a normal and I thought showing my scars might jeopardize that. That being said, it was insanely hot and my office is full of windows and not so stellar AC. So, Crippie again decided to put on her big girl panties, suck it up, and put on the damn shorts. Much to my surprise no one noticed or cared about my legs! No one said a word to me, no one asked what happened to my leg, NOTHING! Well, I could tell that someone was staring at my leg at one point... but still... not bad. Crippie has to remember that adults have better things to do than notice my legs. That's probably one of my favorite parts about being surrounded by adults, they treat me like a normal human being. I reckon I'm still transitioning from being around younger, dumber people who would treat me like crap because of the whole cripple thing. 

Before I depart for the night, Crippie has to give a quick shout out to my Mom & Dad. Yesterday was their 25th wedding anniversary! Happy Silver Anniversary!!! <3

Crippie's Tippie - Just because a problem is visible to you, that doesn't mean that everyone else will notice it.

Crippie (Finally) Has An MRI

Ohaiiiiii

The Mama Pig Update - Mama Pig was stable today, and more importantly very perky and happy. She had lots of noms and was overall very active. I opted to just keep her in the cage tonight. I checked on her around midnight and she was still very happy, active, and hungry. All very good things because if she was uncomfortable she'd be a sad little pig. I'll have time this weekend to observe her more extensively.

Now on to the big event of the day... MRI #1: Right Hip. Crippie had a very pleasant experience. All the people there were super nice. I had a very interesting conversation with the person who was asking me all the basic questions...
Tech - So you have a genetic disorder?
Crippie - Yup
Tech - How many surgeries have you had?
Crippie - 10
Tech - And this is your first MRI?
Crippie - Yup
Tech - How the hell did you avoid an MRI for this long?
Crippie - No clue

Since Crippie planned ahead and didn't wear anything metal, I didn't have to change into a gown, YAY ME! So while Crippie was waiting for the MRI I did what any mature adult would do, I took some pictures of myself making funny faces.

Once the MRI was available two techs came to help Crippie get settled. I mentioned my concerns about Fanny so they got some extra cushioning, without it I would have been very uncomfortable. After I got all comfy they let me pick out some music... this also involved a funny convo
Tech 1 - Okay, I know it's nothing spectacular, but we've got Billy Joel, Elton John, Classical Music, and something else that Crippie forgot
Crippie - Elton John please
Tech 2 - Do you say that to all the people here?
Tech 1 - What"
Tech 2 - The whole nothing spectacular thing?
Tech 1 - I guess... Why?
Tech 2- You've probably offended sooooooooooooooooo many of our patients
Crippie - *sarcastically* OMGGGGG I like Elton John and Billy Joel... you're meeeeeeeaaaaaaannnnn
Tech 2 - See

The MRI itself was a breeze. The noise that everyone was telling me about was very much bearable. Some of the vibrations felt a little weird, but they didn't hurt or anything. The only thing that was a tiny bit uncomfortable was that shield thing they put over my hip, but even that wasn't terrible. Crippie just looked at the ceiling and hummed along with "Rocket Man", and 6 Elton John songs later the MRI was over! I'll admit I was teensy bit light-headed when I left, that went away in about 20 minutes or so. But hey, overall I'd say it was a very pleasant experience.

After the MRI Crippie went to work for a few hours, then I came home and rested for the remainder of the day. I can't' wait to get my results, my hip is freakin' killing me.

Crippie's Tippie - Be vocal about your concerns when having any type of procedure or test done. 

Wow, My Hips Suck

Hiya!

Oh my good n' plenty thank you guys so much for your ninja healing vibes! I think they might've worked!
Alright, so here's how Crippie's appointment went... first the nurse who brought me to my room asked me some questions. She must've been new because she asked these questions while the door was still open and she left the x-rays of the last patient on the computer screen. While waiting for my doctor I analyzed the x-rays of the person before me. Crippie thinks their leg had to be broken and straightened with a rod a screws. Then my doctor came in for my check-up. The main focus was my hip. I mentioned that a tumor could be irritating the sciatic nerve. He did an exam which more or less involved poking my ass, it was kinda painful and I'm ticklish so I was giggling most of the time. He also asked how I know it's a tumor pressing on the nerve. The conversation that followed was pretty funny in my opinion...

Doctor - What makes you think a tumor is pressing on that nerve, can you feel a tumor?
Crippie - Most definitely, it's visible on my back
*doctor goes to examine my back and discovers Fanny The Ass Tumor*
Doctor - WHOA... yeaaaaaaaah... let's get you some x-rays

Then Crippie went into the x-ray room. I've had too many x-rays to count, Crippie is kinda upset that I can't glow in the dark yet. Anyway, it's kinda cute to see how the x-ray technician treats me. They always think I'm a n00b and try to be super gentle with me. Go figure this guy sounded super sweet and gentle but I don't think he realized his own strength. He was kinda rough positioning me, you'd think that if someone's x-ray order was for their hips you wouldn't grab the hip to position it. So the x-ray portion was uncomfortable to say the least, but the end results are totally worth the pain for me.

The top x-ray is my new one. The bottom one is the old one for comparison. As you can see Fanny The Ass Tumor has grown quite a bit since my last x-ray. The doctor says I need an MRI to determine is Fanny is irritating my nerve. If that's the case... Fanny's gotta go. On the plus side, that's not a terribly invasive surgery. Shockingly, Crippie has never had an MRI before, so that will be a fun new experience.

As for the whole "I CAN'T SIT" problem, according to the x-ray there are no tumors in that area that would cause a problem. My doctor thinks this issue exists because I am relatively petite, on the skinny side, and I sit down a lot. So apparently my ability to sit has cost me my ability to sit. Damn you irony, damn you. The doctor says a shot of cortisone to the butt could help. The thing is Crippie has an aversion to Cortisone and to having a needle in my ass. Yes, Crippie is well aware that I can tolerate a surgery but not a shot of cortisone in my ass... MOAR IRONY!!! Any suggestions about what to do readers?

Crippie is soooooooooooo glad that her appointment went better than expected. Mama Pig is doing well for the time being. She's getting tired of her medicine, at least she doesn't fight us about it (well, she took a wee on my mom who holding while I fed her). She sends everyone purrs, wheeks, and kisses. She loves attention from people, regardless of where they are.

Crippie's Tippie - The ability to read x-rays comes in realllllllyyyyyyyy handy at times

Side Effects

Ohai 

I hope everyone had a good Monday. Crippie's Monday was alright, but the weather has definitely been kicking Crippie's ass. It was around 80 degrees last week and now it's 50 degrees WTF! MOTHER NATURE HATES CRIPPLES! Crippie just wants to grab a bunch of aerosol cans and spray them in air while screaming "EFF YOU MOTHER NATURE!!!".

On the bright side my hip isn't bothering me as much now since I started taking my neurontin. I have been having some minor side effects though... depending on the time I take the neurontin I get very tired and heavy headed. I took my medicine a little later tonight so right now Crippie is very heavy headed, not a pleasant feeling. On the bright side, the tiredness could help regulate my sleep schedule. 

It's weird... only parts of Crippie feel tired. I'm conscious enough to write a blog while chatting with friends (multi-tasking baby!). Yet my eyes feel super heavy and the back of my head feels heavy... I dunno... kinda hard to explain. At least I'm not trippin' or anything, Crippie is perfectly lucid... OMG LOOK AT THE UNICORN, IT'S SO SHINYYYYYYY ;). 

Yeaaaaaaah, I think I'm gonna go to sleep. Sorry for the short post y'all. I'll take some cute pictures of animals and show them to you tomorrow. Let's hope that the side effects of the neurontin wear off after a few days.

Crippie's Tippie - Don't blog when you're really tired, it won't turn out well

Blame Sciaticaaaaaaa

Whoa Man,

Did all of my totally far out readers have a groovy 4/20? In all seriousness though, Yom HaShoah or Holocaust Remembrance Day was this week. Before Crippie actually starts her post I wanted to post some songs for Holocaust Remembrance Day...

Moving on to cripple stuff, Crippie's first night with neurontin went relatively well. Most of the aching in my hips went away! The only side effect thus far is that is makes me sorta tired. Crippie can also feel when the medicine kicks in and when it wears off... I'm not sure but I don't think that's good (me thinks it means that I am in a lot pain without it). I was able to get through work with minimal pain, but by the time I got home the meds wore off, so I took them again in the late evening. The meds plus work made me super tired so I slept till dinner. After dinner I played with the pets for a while and then I got tired again. These hip problems are just sucking the energy out of me, it seems like I can hardly do anything right now, and whatever is causing the discomfort sitting makes it hard to sit in certain places in my house. It's getting rather frustrating. Oh well, Crippie has an appointment for the orthopedist on May 3rd. On the bright side, I made it for a year and half without having to see him. I think that's a personal best.

Crippie is trying to get used to this whole "having sciatica" thing... Crippie is wondering if any of her wonderful readers have sciatica and what do y'all do for it? Any tippies for me? If you don't want to leave a comment a private message would be lovely.

On a completely random nerd note... Crippie plays Pottermore (SLYTHERIN BABY) if anyone wants to add me I'm JinxHazel23969

Crippie's Tippie - When times get a little tough, remember that it will pass. It might take a while but it will pass nonetheless 

Damnit Fanny

Ohai,

Thanks for your support guys, the ninja vibes totally help!

Crippie had her pain management appointment today, and I honestly didn't know what my doctor would say or do. Crippie specifically told the doctor that my current course of treatment helps most of my pain except for my hip. I showed her my x-rays and she examined my hips, legs, and Fanny. The doctor's verdict iiiiiissssssssssssssssssss...
1) Fanny is pressing on my sciatic nerve.
2) Tumors in my hips are making the muscles in my legs contract, Crippie cannot straighten her leg
The Remedy - Neurontin for the nerve problems and stretches for the muscle problems

Crippie was totally not expecting those diagnoses, but they make a lot of sense. At first Crippie didn't believe the first diagnoses of sciatic nerve issues because my prior experience with nerve pain was a little different to say the least. I'm used to RSD to nerve pain... which is probably the worst pain I'll ever experience. The pain in my hips is more of a dull ache. It turns out the sciatic nerve pain can be a dull ache... who knew! Crippie was also very surprised about the whole muscle thing. I guess I never noticed that my leg doesn't straighten or that my muscles are tight. If anyone is wondering how I couldn't notice that... it's my normal. I'm used to it. I don't know what normal functioning legs feel like.

Crippie is so thankful that my doctor actually gives a crap about my quality of life. She is verrrrrryyyyy cautious about my meds because she knows I'm gonna be on them for the rest of my life. She cares about the quality of my future life, this muscle thing could turn into a huge problem in 10-20 years. Yet she realizes that I am in pain now and that I have to be treated now. It's unfortunate that I don't hear about doctors like her often.

BTW, if anyone was wondering how Crippie deals with news like this... Crippie is usually happy to get explanations and answers, even if it is potentially bad news. Today's appointment pretty much confirmed that my disease is progressing and that I am getting worse. I accepted the fact that my condition would progress long ago, so now I try to focus on what Crippie can do about it. Crippie is going to schedule an appointment with her orthopedist within the next few weeks and we'll take it from there.

Crippie's Tippie for Doctors - CARE ABOUT YOUR PATIENTS!!!

Sit On It!

Salutations



Yay, Crippie has finally added some Bob Dylan to the Jew song of the Day! "Go Down Moses" is literally the story of Moses. How could I not add it to my lil' Passover mix, even if it is a Gospel song.
Thanks for all the well wishes and support from yesterday's post. Clearly I wasn't a very happy camper. Crippie's gotten the initial anger and I've pretty much accepted it. Crippie had a day off from work today so I went out to obtain a seat cushion. I sat on a memory foam pillow while I was driving, it helped but I could still feel the damn tumor. I went to my local CVS, I was optimistic that they would have something to help me out. Sure enough, they did.
Crippie went to the "As Seen On TV" section. Amongst the useless crap and pajama jeans I found a "Total Pillow" which is supposed to be a bunch of different pillows rolled into one. I saw that it also functioned as a seat cushion so I decided to give it a go. I used it during the drive home and I was pleasantly surprised. It was comfy and I didn't feel like I was sitting on a rock.

Since this is a "As Seen On TV" product I feel that I am morally obliged to give a full out review of it, cause let's face it, most of these products suck sooooooooooooooooo much. I spent the day fiddling around with my new "Total Pillow" because I had nothing better to do. Shockingly the product does damn near everything it promises. It's moldable, and it usually holds it's shape. It's got those fun squishy beads in it so it's comfy, firm... but comfy. Crippie checked all the seams, it appears sturdy and I don't think it will burst anytime soon. Apart from it's versatility it's also small enough to be portable and not annoying. It'll probs fit in a big pocketbook. Honestly I really don't have anything bad to say about it, and this is coming from someone who HATES "As Seen On TV" products. Crippie finds most of them stupidly annoying.

Crippie's Tippie - If you need special pillows for some reason, Total Pillow is actually a good option

Disability Can Be A Pain In The Ass Sometimes

Greetings!



Another day, another "The Prince Of Egypt" song. "Through Heaven's Eyes" is probably my favorite song from the movie. It's one of those songs that really helps you focus on the positives and realize that your life probably doesn't suck.
Boy howdy, did Crippie need a song like that today. Today was a very bad day pain wise. I don't know if was the weather, Fanny the Ass Tumor, or some other tumor in my pelvic region but the simple act of sitting down was causing Crippie a lot of discomfort. Normally Crippie can sit on a slightly cushioned surface without a problem. Today it felt like I was constantly sitting on a giant rock. Naturally, today would be a day when I had to sit down for about 9 and a half hours at work. Crippie was not impressed by this new development. I've NEVER had issues with sitting before, one of the reasons I chose to become a graphic designer was that I knew that could sit for long periods of time. Of course I can't forget that technically this is making my bum hurt, so that's just embarrassing. Progression of disease sucks.
So, what am I going to do about this? Well, tomorrow I'm probs gonna go obtain some seat cushions, one for my car and one for work. I really don't want to do that because people will think I have a problem with my bum, oh well, you gotta do what you gotta do. Right now I'm literally sitting on NPH (I LOVE HOW THAT SOUNDS) hoping that the heat pack will help. Crippie really hopes this is just some temporary inflammation or something along those lines. If it continues to get worse... surgery number 11.
On the bright side, I was driving home from work, all pissed off because my ass was still uncomfortable in the car... and then I saw something. I saw a rainbow! Crippie got to follow said rainbow home, that has to be a good sign. Right?

To make up for the depressingness of most of this post... here's some guinea pigs

Maggie is puzzled by my camera

Frida wants food now! Look at those lips and teeth!

Holy crap Nellie is fat

Mama Pig snoozing

Aggie with a flower in hair

Crippie's Tippie - Be thankful for what you have while you have it, you never know what can be taken away from you

Crippie Made Noodles!

Yo!

OMG can you believe it, Cripple made noodles! Isn't it incredible! Now, there may be some people out there saying "It's not a big deal, calm the eff down" but this really is big deal for Crippie. Why is it a big deal? Because making cooking noodle related food items is really painful for Crippie. Tumors in my wrists and arms make lifting heavy like a pot of water painful. The act of pouring pasta into a drainer makes my arm hurt like a mofo. Crippie doesn't make a lot of noodle dishes because of this.

So why did Crippie make noodles today? Well, I was babysitting my neighbor and she wanted mac n' cheese for lunch. Crippie has been watching this neighbor for years, we're buddies in a sense... so I didn't want to say no to her. It was six cups of water and a small pan. It was tricky bringing the pot to the stove, it was uncomfortable standing there for 7 minutes, and it was really painful when I had to drain the noodles, but I did it. Making noodles might seem like such a simple task, but it's hard for me to do and Crippie is very proud of herself for being able to do it. I won't do it very often, but it's good to know that I can if it's absolutely necessary. 

In other news, Crippie might have figured out why my hip has been hurting. I have a feeling that a baseball sized tumor on the back of my pelvis is the culprit. I'll discuss it with my ortho the next time I see him, whenever that may be. In the meantime, since it is now one of my special tumors it has received a name. Baseball sized pelvis tumor is now "Fanny The Ass Tumor". Crippie will definitely keep y'all updated on Fanny The Ass Tumor as new details emerge.

Crippie's Tippie- Naming your tumors is an excellent way to freak people out

Heat Pack Challenge - Day 2

Howdy Y'all!

Crippie has an announcement to make... I am in love with my heat pack. Crippie used the heat pack again last night and yet again my hip didn't hurt! I was skeptical last too... cause the weather is going through some super fun changes which generally mean a lot of pain. I still can't believe that the heat is stopping my pain. It's weird, now that I'm not in as much pain I can really see how much pain I was actually in. I'm so used to being in pain, it's feels really strange to be without... awesome... but strange nonetheless.
To be fair, it's not like Crippie is just putting a heat pack on for 20 minutes and the pain magically vanishes. Crippie is putting heat on her hip for a solid 5+ hours. Now some people might say "Whoaaaa... isn't that dangerous?" If I was placing this on bare skin it could potentially be dangerous. Crippie is not placing the heat pack directly on her skin. Crippie is well aware that this is not necessarily the safest practice in the world, but honestly I don't care. My hip doesn't hurt. The end justifies the means.
Now all I really need to do is name my heat pack. Since it's hot I reckon it should be named after some totally awesome actor. What do you guys think I should name my heat pack?

Crippie's Tippie - Heat is awesome, but be cautious when using it in excessive amounts like me

Hips To Be Square

HAPPY FEBRUARY!

Dontcha just love punny titles, Crippie certainly does! There is a reason for the punny though. Crippie's hips have been bothering her for... I dunno... maybe 5-ish years.

Yup, those are Crippie's hippies (and this x-ray is 4 years old so God only knows what they look like now). For anyone who has ever wondered what MHE was, it's the bumps and irregularities on my bones. It's most clearly visible in my entire left hip socket and in that circle on the right side of the x-ray (why yes that is baseball sized tumor on my back side).
Shockingly, my completely effed up left hip doens't bother me, at all. Literally no pain from that site. My right hip is the one that is being a mofo. It almost always causes me some form of discomfort, it's like a feeling like a lead balloon is expanding in it. Me thinks most of this pain is from arthritis.
I'm wondering if there are any solutions you guys could recommend? Why I am telling this to you, my lovely readers instead of a doctor? I know my doctor's answer, invasive surgery that involves dislocating the hip to remove whatever tumors are getting in my way and causing the inflammation. Yeaaaaaaahhhhhhh... noooooooooo. Crippie knows her hips will not last for her entire life. My guess is that I will have hip replacement surgery within the next 20 years. In the meantime I want to prolong the life of my hips for as long as humanly possible. Any hippie tippie's readers?

Crippie's Tippie- Learn to read x-rays, it comes in surprisingly handy at times.