Achy Breaky Hips

Oh Hello

I hope y'all are having a lovely week thus far. I didn't have work today, which was good because I was so damn achy today I could hardly move. Basically I stayed in bed with my heat pack all day. Even though Fanny is gone I still have tumors inside my hip sockets... and those also hurt like a mofo. I'm starting to feel better now, but I'm kinda peeved that my day was kinda consumed with pain. Freakin' weather. Oh well, at least the next few days look better.

Anyways, as promised to make up for yesterday's sucky post. Here's some pictures of Helen's Halloween costume. Just a quick pre-face... Helen actually enjoys wearing clothes, plus she gets cold very easily so they do serve some function. Last year she was a unicorn complete with Neil Patrick Harris riding her (Harold & Kumar joke). This year we opted for something a little... different. Any last guesses people?

If you guessed a pink hippo in a tutu... CONGRATULATIONS! You win a cookie. Clearly Helen is super excited about Halloween. I put the costume on her to take the pictures... and she fell asleep. Me thinks it's because it's a really snuggly fabric, guess she considers it to be a blankie. One of these days I'll try to get some photos of Helen the hippo when she's conscious.

If anyone is wondering, Helen is the only animal that has Halloween costumes. Angel does not like clothes nor do want to risk our lives to attempt to put anything on her. The pigs have their guinea bee costume, but I can only keep it on 'em for a few minutes tops. Apart from their general hatred of the costume, they'd probably pee on it if I left it on 'em for more than five minutes. And I just don't feel like washing pee out of a bee costume. In the end Helen enjoys clothes, so Helen wears clothes.

I should totally do a post one day dedicated to Helen's fashions, would anyone like that?

Crippie's Tippie - If your animal hates costumes, don't force 'em to wear one. 

Happy Halloween!

BOO!

Mother Nature has not been kind to me lately, first the earthquake, then Hurricane Irene, and now this stupid snow storm. Apart from being very achy from the changing weather, three of Crippie's trees fell down as well as some giant ass branches. Not cool Mother Nature... not cool.

Anyway, I figured since my achy-ness is keeping me up tonight I would make a list of fun Halloween costumes for cripples.
1- Dr. House- All you need a pair of jeans, blazer, t-shirt, and bitchin' cane. You get bonus points if you keep poppin' candies into your mouth all night and go around telling people "IT'S NOT LUPUS".
2- Joe Swanson (Family Guy)- If you're in a wheelchair this costume is super easy, grey t-shirt and jeans, maybe a cop uniform. You have to scream a lot though.
3- Timmy or Jimmy (South Park)- Depending on your level of crippleness you can go as a cripple from South Park. Only thing with Timmy is that you are morally obliged to say the word "TIMMAY" every time you speak, and Jimmy has to stutter and say "I mean, c'mon" (I'm planning on being Jimmy next year).
4- Handicap Parking Permit- Make a giant handicap parking permit and hang it around your neck... BOOM
5- Roller Skate- If you're in a wheelchair you can just wear a shirt with laces on it
6- Any wizard that uses a magical staff- Wear a robe and pointy hat (unless you're Luscious Malfoy)

I usually do cripple related Halloween costumes, cause let's face it, THEY ARE AWESOME.

The picture to your left would be me 4 Halloweens ago. I went as Dr. House. I entered a costume contest, popped candy vicodins while everyone was voting, and placed third. I was rather pleased.

People have asked me if I thought costumes involving cripples are offensive and I can honestly say no. If it is a cripple using their crippledness to make their costume funnier and more ironic... go cripple. If a normal person is dress up like Timmy I see it as "awe they wanna be cripples too <3". So either way it's a win/win.



Crippie's Tippie- Bonus perk of being a cripple on Halloween, if some punks are trying to annoy you chances are your wheelchair, crutches, cane, whatever will do nicely to scare them off.