Kick-Ass TV Cripple

Aloha!

Hope everyone is enjoying their weekends thus far, and that all my locals are enjoying this KICK ASS WEATHER. It was lovely today and the next couple of days look pretty spiffy too... w00t. My day went relatively well, did the usual work and discuss how Lori in "The Walking Dead" needs to die with my coworkers. 

Speaking of The Walking Dead (which I am obsessed with and will probably be posting about every Saturday cause I'm s'darn excited about each new episode)... the show is about to get more awesome this season for various reasons (apart from hopefully killing Lori). It's actually going to be a very cripple-friendly season! 

Generally speaking cripples on TV have verrryyyy secondary B roles and usually don't contribute much to plot story-lines. The only show I can think of that involved a cripple as the main character is "House"... and that was canceled I don't count it. Currently I can only think of 4 shows that regularly involve cripples, they are...

1 - Family Guy - Joe Swanson plays an active part in the show and gets a fair amount of screen time

2 - South Park - Timmy and Jimmy are freaking awesome, but they don't get a lot of screen or plot time

3 - Glee - at this point Artie exists, but no real story lines revolve around him (and that pisses me off), they also feature actors with Downs Syndrome

4 - The Secret Life of The American Teenager - Also features an actor with Downs Syndrome

If I'm missing any good shows with cripples in 'em... please let me know! 

Now, back to the Walking Dead *Spoiler Alerts for anyone who might be interested in watching any of the past seasons or who hasn't seen the promos for this season*. 

Well, in season one there was a character named Merle, he was your stereotypical racist redneck. He was left for dead in the first season, which worked for me cause he was a racist asshole and I didn't care for it. Turns out this dude is back and better than ever! Why? Long story short he needed to amputate his hand in the first season... thus leaving him with a nub and probably at greater risk for being killed by a zombie. BUT Merle comes back this season in style... WITH A FREAKING MACHETE HAND.  Yup, dude turned it nub into a weapon. Merle Machete Hand (as I lovingly call him) turned his new found crippledness into an advantage, for once the cripple gets to (probably) survive the zombie apocalypse. All because of his shiny new knife hand. Dude is still a complete racist asshole, but I give him props for creativity. For outstanding acts of cripple bad-assery, let's all give Merle a big hand everyone!

Crippie's Tippie - If you do have a nub, consider making weapon attachments for it. It could come in VERY handy (pun intended)

CRIPPIE GIVEAWAY!

OMG!!!!

A couple of weeks ago Crippie was contacted by the wonderful people at ooshirts.com. They asked me if I could design a shirt and then write a review about the whole process. Btw, if anyone thinks Crippie is selling out with this... I've donated blood just to get a free t-shirt.

Before I begin my review let it be known that I am a graphic designer with experience in screen printing. I also have experience with setting up cafepress shops and designing shirts with other companies. Also, my mother and grandmother used to work in the garment industry (my mom used to do color separations and my grandmother was an art director). So Crippie knows what she is talking about here ;)

The Process- First I went to their website and picked out a t-shirt and color. They had a whole lotta options as far shirt selections go. I opted for the "Canvas Unisex Tee" because it had some shnazzy colors and the fit was on the longer side. Then I designed my shirt. I used Adobe Illustrator to make my design and I uploaded EPS files.

Next I put the designs on my selected shirt. This whole process was super easy and I was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo happy about how big my design could be. When I did projects like this before the space was so limiting and my designs would look tiny and crappy. The colors of the design on the screen were not true to color. This is probably my computer screen's fault. I added the pantone colors of my design in a special note section just to be on the safe side. 

I love how they "idiot proofed" the whole designing process. Ooshirts has services to make sure your colors are correct, that your background is transparent (if you want it to be), if you want your shirt to have a "vintage" effect, etc. I found the overall design process very pleasant and super simple.

Pricing - Ooshirts.com prides itself on being an affordable option for custom shirts. I did some price quotes for other sites, and Ooshirts actually was a cheaper option. Not a whooollleeee lot cheaper than some other places, but cheaper nonetheless.

Ordering - Placing the order was, again, super simple. My order was checked over by their designers, who gave it the OK to print. Within a few days I had my shnazzy new shirts! 

The end results - Once my shirts arrived I was very pleased. The shirt is self is very soft and snuggly. The colors of the ink look pretty close to the colors on the design I submitted. I showed the shirt to my mother and grandmother who found no real flaws in the screening process. The shirt has also survived several washes in the laundry with no cracks or fading! The one downside I found was that the color of the shirt is waaayyy different than the color on the website. 

Do you want to win a "Holy Crip it's a Crapple" T-Shirt?

Here's the rules for entering the contest!

-Enter the contest by posting a comment below with your email address so I can contact you

- 1 bonus entry for people who post a question for Crippie with their comment

- The lucky winner will be chosen at random via random number generator

-The winner will be picked on Friday, December 16th

- Crippie's relatives may NOT enter this contest. Want a shirt guys? You're gonna have to wait for Hanukkah

(For reference, the shirt is a large, but hey a free shirt is a free shirt)

Crippie's Tippie- ENTER MY CONTEST!!! And ooshirts.com is pretty damn awesome, thanks guys! 

NHBPM- Crippie's Anthem

Hey Y'all

WE'RE AT THE HALFWAY POINT OF NHBPM! Tonight's prompt looks purdy damn entertaining... This one’s for you, baby. Dedicate a song to your condition. Why did you pick that song? Find a youtube or link to a version to embed in your post. Not gonna lie, I've been pretty stoked for tonight's prompt since day one. Honestly, the moment I saw this prompt I knew what song I was going to dedicate to my condition. QUICK REMINDER- My condition is Multiple Hereditary Exostoses, it causes benign tumors to grow on my bones.
So without further adieu I give you... 

Yes, I dedicate the "Imma Tumor Song" from Family Guy to my condition. Seriously, what else other songs could I have done? "My Humps"? I don't think so. Why did I pick that song? THE SONG IS SUNG BY A SINGING TUMOR ABOUT HOW IT'S A TUMOR!!! It's been my theme song from the moment I saw the episode. 


Crippie's Tippie- If you ever want to find a hilarious/borderline offensive clip about a specific disability, Family Guy is the show for you.


This post was written as part of NHBPM – 30 health posts in 30 days: http://bit.ly/vU0g9J 

Happy Halloween!

BOO!

Mother Nature has not been kind to me lately, first the earthquake, then Hurricane Irene, and now this stupid snow storm. Apart from being very achy from the changing weather, three of Crippie's trees fell down as well as some giant ass branches. Not cool Mother Nature... not cool.

Anyway, I figured since my achy-ness is keeping me up tonight I would make a list of fun Halloween costumes for cripples.
1- Dr. House- All you need a pair of jeans, blazer, t-shirt, and bitchin' cane. You get bonus points if you keep poppin' candies into your mouth all night and go around telling people "IT'S NOT LUPUS".
2- Joe Swanson (Family Guy)- If you're in a wheelchair this costume is super easy, grey t-shirt and jeans, maybe a cop uniform. You have to scream a lot though.
3- Timmy or Jimmy (South Park)- Depending on your level of crippleness you can go as a cripple from South Park. Only thing with Timmy is that you are morally obliged to say the word "TIMMAY" every time you speak, and Jimmy has to stutter and say "I mean, c'mon" (I'm planning on being Jimmy next year).
4- Handicap Parking Permit- Make a giant handicap parking permit and hang it around your neck... BOOM
5- Roller Skate- If you're in a wheelchair you can just wear a shirt with laces on it
6- Any wizard that uses a magical staff- Wear a robe and pointy hat (unless you're Luscious Malfoy)

I usually do cripple related Halloween costumes, cause let's face it, THEY ARE AWESOME.

The picture to your left would be me 4 Halloweens ago. I went as Dr. House. I entered a costume contest, popped candy vicodins while everyone was voting, and placed third. I was rather pleased.

People have asked me if I thought costumes involving cripples are offensive and I can honestly say no. If it is a cripple using their crippledness to make their costume funnier and more ironic... go cripple. If a normal person is dress up like Timmy I see it as "awe they wanna be cripples too <3". So either way it's a win/win.



Crippie's Tippie- Bonus perk of being a cripple on Halloween, if some punks are trying to annoy you chances are your wheelchair, crutches, cane, whatever will do nicely to scare them off.