Kick-Ass TV Cripple

Aloha!

Hope everyone is enjoying their weekends thus far, and that all my locals are enjoying this KICK ASS WEATHER. It was lovely today and the next couple of days look pretty spiffy too... w00t. My day went relatively well, did the usual work and discuss how Lori in "The Walking Dead" needs to die with my coworkers. 

Speaking of The Walking Dead (which I am obsessed with and will probably be posting about every Saturday cause I'm s'darn excited about each new episode)... the show is about to get more awesome this season for various reasons (apart from hopefully killing Lori). It's actually going to be a very cripple-friendly season! 

Generally speaking cripples on TV have verrryyyy secondary B roles and usually don't contribute much to plot story-lines. The only show I can think of that involved a cripple as the main character is "House"... and that was canceled I don't count it. Currently I can only think of 4 shows that regularly involve cripples, they are...

1 - Family Guy - Joe Swanson plays an active part in the show and gets a fair amount of screen time

2 - South Park - Timmy and Jimmy are freaking awesome, but they don't get a lot of screen or plot time

3 - Glee - at this point Artie exists, but no real story lines revolve around him (and that pisses me off), they also feature actors with Downs Syndrome

4 - The Secret Life of The American Teenager - Also features an actor with Downs Syndrome

If I'm missing any good shows with cripples in 'em... please let me know! 

Now, back to the Walking Dead *Spoiler Alerts for anyone who might be interested in watching any of the past seasons or who hasn't seen the promos for this season*. 

Well, in season one there was a character named Merle, he was your stereotypical racist redneck. He was left for dead in the first season, which worked for me cause he was a racist asshole and I didn't care for it. Turns out this dude is back and better than ever! Why? Long story short he needed to amputate his hand in the first season... thus leaving him with a nub and probably at greater risk for being killed by a zombie. BUT Merle comes back this season in style... WITH A FREAKING MACHETE HAND.  Yup, dude turned it nub into a weapon. Merle Machete Hand (as I lovingly call him) turned his new found crippledness into an advantage, for once the cripple gets to (probably) survive the zombie apocalypse. All because of his shiny new knife hand. Dude is still a complete racist asshole, but I give him props for creativity. For outstanding acts of cripple bad-assery, let's all give Merle a big hand everyone!

Crippie's Tippie - If you do have a nub, consider making weapon attachments for it. It could come in VERY handy (pun intended)

Happy Halloween!

BOO!

Mother Nature has not been kind to me lately, first the earthquake, then Hurricane Irene, and now this stupid snow storm. Apart from being very achy from the changing weather, three of Crippie's trees fell down as well as some giant ass branches. Not cool Mother Nature... not cool.

Anyway, I figured since my achy-ness is keeping me up tonight I would make a list of fun Halloween costumes for cripples.
1- Dr. House- All you need a pair of jeans, blazer, t-shirt, and bitchin' cane. You get bonus points if you keep poppin' candies into your mouth all night and go around telling people "IT'S NOT LUPUS".
2- Joe Swanson (Family Guy)- If you're in a wheelchair this costume is super easy, grey t-shirt and jeans, maybe a cop uniform. You have to scream a lot though.
3- Timmy or Jimmy (South Park)- Depending on your level of crippleness you can go as a cripple from South Park. Only thing with Timmy is that you are morally obliged to say the word "TIMMAY" every time you speak, and Jimmy has to stutter and say "I mean, c'mon" (I'm planning on being Jimmy next year).
4- Handicap Parking Permit- Make a giant handicap parking permit and hang it around your neck... BOOM
5- Roller Skate- If you're in a wheelchair you can just wear a shirt with laces on it
6- Any wizard that uses a magical staff- Wear a robe and pointy hat (unless you're Luscious Malfoy)

I usually do cripple related Halloween costumes, cause let's face it, THEY ARE AWESOME.

The picture to your left would be me 4 Halloweens ago. I went as Dr. House. I entered a costume contest, popped candy vicodins while everyone was voting, and placed third. I was rather pleased.

People have asked me if I thought costumes involving cripples are offensive and I can honestly say no. If it is a cripple using their crippledness to make their costume funnier and more ironic... go cripple. If a normal person is dress up like Timmy I see it as "awe they wanna be cripples too <3". So either way it's a win/win.



Crippie's Tippie- Bonus perk of being a cripple on Halloween, if some punks are trying to annoy you chances are your wheelchair, crutches, cane, whatever will do nicely to scare them off.