To Slice or Not to Slice

Greetings!

I hope all my crippled comrades had a lovely Monday. Mine went very well, mainly because today was my mom's birthday! Crippie successfully managed to surprise her mom several times today. For example, I told my mother that I had to go to work early today, while in reality I had to go pick up cupcakes (that was my mom's only request for the day). Crippie rushed out the door without properly saying goodbye, only to sneak back in the house 10 minutes later with cupcakes in hand. Crippie is sneaky like that.

Moving on, I actually have a cripple question for y'all today! Crippie has had 10 surgeries, most of those surgeries were elective. Crippie and Crippie alone decided to have certain things done. People have asked me "Why on Earth would you want to have surgery?" and "How did you decide that surgery was necessary?".

First off, most MHE related surgeries involve removing problematic tumors. If a tumor gets wrapped up or caught in a muscle or a nerve it hurts like a mofo. If it does not resolve itself on it's own, it needs assistance. Crippie chooses to have surgery when...
1) The pain of the surgery will probably be less than the pain I'm in now
2) Quality of life is affected
3) There is the potential for something to go realllyyyyy wrong
4) It's a super fun high risk tumor

Essentially Crippie chooses to have surgery when the pros outweigh the cons. The cons can be pretty serious sometimes. Any surgery has the potential to go very wrong. Complications happen. Crippie is well aware of the damage a surgery can do. So the problem has to be pretty serious.

Take Fanny for example, I'm choosing to remove her for several reasons
1) My hip freakin' hurts
2) the sciatica is causing mobility issues with my leg which could get worse (my leg could become permanently bent)
3) She's a super fun high risk tumor
4) Her size is become cumbersome, I can't lay on a hard surface

To help illustrate my point, I made a little checklist thingy for y'all. Maybe it'll be useful for someone...

Crippie's Tippie - Do not take surgeries lightly, they suck... so your problems have to suck more than they do.

Crippie Says The Darndest Things!

Ohaiiiiiii

The Mama Pig Update - It was another off night for Mama Pig. I took her out for monitoring and she was gassy and not pooping again. I did the toothbrush massages and forced her to wee a little and eventually she pooped. While I was massaging Mama I noticed that she is experiencing some hair loss on her sides. I went on the internet to see what in the hell was going on and I didn't get any clear answers. Generally speaking hair loss on a female guinea pig's sides screams Ovarian Cysts. The thing is she doesn't display any other symptoms of ovarian cysts... at all. Crippie will continue to observe her to see if I notice any of the other symptoms of cysts. I really hope she doesn't have cysts, they have nothing to do with her current issues. My gut is telling me that Mama Pig is pulling the hair out because her tummy hurts. Crippie is gonna change her game plan a little... I'm gonna stop using the toothbrush as a precaution (I dunno if it could rupture a cyst) and will switch to letting Mama Pig ride on top of the washing machine (a gentler less concentrated vibration). I'm also gonna obtain that baby probiotic and start Mama on that.

Nooooooowwww, about that whole Crippie Rant last night... Crippie has a clearer head today, I do regret how certain things came out and I'm so sorry if I offended anyone. "Normals" complaining about trivial things has to be my number one pet peeve, and I guess seeing an overload of whining from a bunch of people kinda sent me over the edge. But overall, Crippie doesn't regret it. I felt like it had to be said. And if anyone is wondering Crippie and her friend had a dandy talk about everything and we totally patched everything up, so in that regard I'm really glad I had that little rant. But in all seriousness, Crippie thinks that people (no one in particular) need to stop focusing on how much their lives suck and instead focus on the positives. The positives might be harder to spot sometimes, but they without a doubt exist.

Since the blog has kinda taken a "cripples vs. normals" turn for the past few days, I figured I'd answer a related Crippie Question. "Why do you take offense to people calling you an inspiration? Last time I checked that was a compliment". Alright, here's the deal... it's not that us cripples find it offensive, it's just annoying as all hell when people say it insincerely or when they say something like "OMG you're disabled but you drive to work every day, you're such an inspiration". It kinda feels like we're being called inspirational solely because we're disabled. It's like saying "OMG you were a Jew in the 1940's in Europe, you're such an inspiration". It feels like an empty, meaningless statement... especially if you hear it over and over and over and over. That being said, if the cripple actually did something worth the compliment, it is seen as a such. People have said called me inspirational because of this blog and I don't see that as an insult at all... I'm actually doing something (blogging) and I'm relating it to my disability so the two things are related. BTW, thanks to all my "Crippled Comrades" who have had said those things about me... sorry if recent posts have made it seem like I didn't appreciate that.

So in MRI news... BOTH OF MY MRI'S HAVE FINALLY BEEN APPROVED!!! Now on to the next mini-battle, finding a hospital that can do them! Recently a shiny new hospital was built near Crippie so naturally we thought they would be able to handle my MRI but apparently they only do knee and back stuff. I'm still really confused about their inability to do my MRI... I thought all I had to do was sit in the damn machine. Oh well, we found another hospital that I can get the MRI done at, we just need to have the address changed with all the insurance stuff. Me thinks that this issue will be solved tomorrow (later today, whatever). Once that issue is settled it looks like I'll be able to schedule my MRI for Friday. If that's the case expect a lot of Rebecca Black parodies.

Crippie watched the final episode of House today. I must say, it was hard to watch one of my favorite TV characters go. I'm soooooooooooo glad that they ended on a high note instead of killing people just for the sake of killing people. What do y'all think? Crippie now eagerly awaits for a new show that focuses on someone with a disability *HINT HINT PRODUCERS*

Crippie's Tippie - If you're gonna call a cripple an inspiration, have an actual inspiring reason to do so

Why Yes I Can See You!

Yo! 

I hope all my readers had a lovely day, Crippie's day went relatively well. Right now I'm trying to get tired by doing things on the internet while listening to the soundtrack of "Silence! The Musical". I must say... for a musical comedy based of Silence of the Lambs, the sound is pretty freakin' awesome. 

Anyway, for tonight's blog post Crippie figured she'd do something that she hasn't done in a good long while... answer a crippie question! People have asked Crippie if it feels weird when people stare at me. The answer... yup, very much so. Crippie absolutely hates it when anyone over age 10 stares at her. Why? Small kids stare at you with honest curiosity. They really don't know what's going on nor do they know better. People who are old enough to know better don't stare with an honest curiosity. The vibe I get from them is "ew... she's walking with crutch...". They then proceed to stare at you in some attempt to figure out why I'm crippled. I really hate how people think that I can see them... guess what... I CAN SEE YOU! Even if you're not in my direct line of vision I can tell that you are staring at me! As annoying as this is... I do my best to brush it off and continue on with my day.

Now, what should a normal do instead of awkwardly staring at a cripple? If you reallllyyyyyyyy have to know why I'm crippled don't stare at me when you think I can't see you. Please just say something like "Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice your cane, may I ask why you have to use it?" If the normal is polite about it I'd have no problem answering the question. 

So there ya have it folks, a crippie question! If anyone has any other cripple questions for me feel free to post a comment or to email me. I'll answer damn near anything.

Crippie's Tippie - STOP STARING AT CRIPPLES... WE CAN TELL YOU ARE DOING IT

Hips To Be Square

HAPPY FEBRUARY!

Dontcha just love punny titles, Crippie certainly does! There is a reason for the punny though. Crippie's hips have been bothering her for... I dunno... maybe 5-ish years.

Yup, those are Crippie's hippies (and this x-ray is 4 years old so God only knows what they look like now). For anyone who has ever wondered what MHE was, it's the bumps and irregularities on my bones. It's most clearly visible in my entire left hip socket and in that circle on the right side of the x-ray (why yes that is baseball sized tumor on my back side).
Shockingly, my completely effed up left hip doens't bother me, at all. Literally no pain from that site. My right hip is the one that is being a mofo. It almost always causes me some form of discomfort, it's like a feeling like a lead balloon is expanding in it. Me thinks most of this pain is from arthritis.
I'm wondering if there are any solutions you guys could recommend? Why I am telling this to you, my lovely readers instead of a doctor? I know my doctor's answer, invasive surgery that involves dislocating the hip to remove whatever tumors are getting in my way and causing the inflammation. Yeaaaaaaahhhhhhh... noooooooooo. Crippie knows her hips will not last for her entire life. My guess is that I will have hip replacement surgery within the next 20 years. In the meantime I want to prolong the life of my hips for as long as humanly possible. Any hippie tippie's readers?

Crippie's Tippie- Learn to read x-rays, it comes in surprisingly handy at times. 

NHBPM- Cripple Etiquette

Ohai Everyone!

I hope everyone enjoyed their day before Thanksgiving. I got off work early so I throughly enjoyed my day. Today's blog prompt looks awesome, and by that I mean I can do whatever I want with saying something like "IMMA REBEL" before doing so. Today's prompt is... Health Activist Choice. Write about whatever you want! Swwweeeeeeeetttt. Several normals have approached Crippie and asked various etiquette questions, so without further adieu I give you...

If the cripple is a stranger...

DON'T- Stare at them, it's really annoying

DO- If you're gonna stare at 'em you might as well just ask why said person is a cripple

DON'T- Make cripple jokes, you will look like an asshole

DON'T- Ask the cripple (or cripple's caregiver) if said cripple is dying or what their life expectancy is. If you really must know, GOOGLE IT. And yes, someone asked if I was dying once.

DO- If you see a cripple clearly struggling with something, offer to help. 

If the cripple is your friend

DON'T- Make cripple jokes unless the cripple makes them first. Not all cripples like joking about their situation

DO- Remember that cripple friends can't always do the same things as normal friends

DO- Offer your cripple friend help only when they ask for it or if you see them clearly struggling. It's not that we don't appreciate the help, it's just that we like to do things on own whenever possible.

So there ya have it folks, a basic guide for the normals! BTW normals, if I am offending any of you by calling you "normals" please let me know. If you have any other ideas for nicknames for normal people please post in the comment section. I was thinking of calling them "muggles" but I sadly I don't think it quite applies. 

Crippie's Tippie- At the end of the day just remember that cripples are "special normals". 

This post was written as part of NHBPM – 30 health posts in 30 days: http://bit.ly/vU0g9J 

Why Not Me?

Cheerie-o!

OVER 2,000 BLOG VIEWS... OH MY GOOD N' PLENTY!!! I really am thankful that I have so many viewers, followers, and commenters. I have yet to delete a troll comment on this blog (watch, now I'm gonna get a bunch of 'em). As a reward for loyal viewership I'll answer a question that is impossible to answer... "Why do you think you're disabled?"

Honestly, I'm not a very religious person. I'm sorry if this offends anyone but I have never thought that "God  has a plan for you and wanted you to be a cripple" is a valid excuse. Is it possible? Sure, why not. I just don't like the idea of God wanting me to be a cripple if that makes any sense.

Personally I turn to the fact that humans are imperfect and things go wrong with the human body all the time. The simplest thing like a minute change in your DNA can have massive effects on a person. That's what happened to me, one of my genes mutated. The defective gene caused my genetic disorder. My genetic disorder caused my arthritis. Complications from surgery caused my RSD.

Apart from the technicality, I do not believe that there is a reason for me to be a cripple. Sith happens. So as to why I think I'm disabled... I was just lucky enough to have a genetic mutation.

Crippie's Tippie- It really doesn't matter why you are disabled, what really matters is everything you are going to do in spite of it.

Disability & The School System

Salutations!

"What challenges does disability bring to the school situation?' That question pops up quite often. Having a disability can prove very challenging for many reasons. For the time being let's discuss K-12 because college is a whole different story.

Elementary School- Thankfully I wasn't terribly sick during elementary school, people didn't know I was disabled until 4th grade when I started getting worse. The main problem I had in elementary school was gym. I HATE GYM. Obviously, due to my crippledness I could barely do anything in gym. My family had to go to the school and ask the teacher to modify my gym activities. It was a small school so the teacher listened. The kid's usually pretty nice to me, except in gym. People used to laugh at me because I always was last. CRIPPIE'S TIPPIE- This is the point where you start having to advocate for your needs. If you don't bring the issue to the school's mind they are not going to notice. Parents, at this point teachers might start thinking you are a crazy whining parent (sorry about that) but you are the one who knows your child best and you are right. Also if you child is visibly disabled, perhaps go talk to their classmates to help them understand why your kid is different. 

Middle School/ Junior High- I was very sick during middle school. Due to my disability I was home schooled for most of my middle school years. The school was bigger and thus it became harder for me to get aid. I had to have a 504 (official plan of care) and meetings with the heads of the school to make sure I got what aid I needed. The aid I needed was a tutor, modified schedule, no gym, extended test time, and an aid to get from class to class in a wheelchair. There were times when we had to put up a big fight in order to get what was needed. The kids in middle school were acted rather nasty towards me. They ignored me, teased me, and tried to trip me on occasion. CRIPPIE'S TIPPIE- The bigger the school, the harder you have to fight. And again parents, at this point the people at the school will think you are insane and annoying. Too bad for the school. Again, you are right.

High School- I wasn't terribly sick during high school, but I still had my health issues. I had the 504 in order to get the modifications I needed and it almost always worked out rather well. I actually worked out my schedule so I could leave early. The kids weren't as stupid as they were in middle school, but there are always idiots that think it's okay to tease cripples (BTW, don't tease cripples, we have enough emotional baggage from being crippled). CRIPPIE'S TIPPIE- This is the point where the cripple has to start speaking for themselves when possible. Partly because the school system probably hates your parents by now, and partly because your parents won't be there when college comes around.

Self Image And Disability

Salutations!

One thing I wanted to do with this blog is answer questions that I am often asked. One of the big ones is "how does being disabled effect the way you think about yourself?" First off, my main disability causes some skeletal deformations. That means some of my bones are shorter, and warped.

That's my arm, and probably the most normal looking limb I have. Thanks to my disability my legs are different widths and heights, my arms are crooked, not to mention the 15 scars from my 10 surgeries, it's safe to say in general my body does not look "normal" by any standards.

That being said, I can't say I'm terribly self-concious about these imperfections. I used to be insanely self-conscious about every imperfection my disability bestowed upon me. When skinny jeans and leggings started becoming popular I REFUSED to wear them due to the fact that my legs are kinda crooked and are different widths. One day I got tired of limiting myself because I don't look "normal". I obtained a pair of skinny jeans and go figure, they didn't look half bad. Sure, my legs looked crooked but when I went out in public no one seemed to notice. It was then that I realized that all my "flaws" are not visible to the untrained eye and thus NO ONE CARES! No one cares if my arm is slightly warped, no one cares if I have a giant scar on my leg. Once I realized that other people don't care, I stopped caring.

Along with realizing that no one else cares about the imperfections, I made peace with my body by gaining some control over it. I did this by getting a tattoo. Most of the visible alterations of my body are scars, I had no say in what they would look like and while they are kick-ass they're not particularly attractive. The tattoo was an alteration that I could control, and it was colorful and beautiful. Tattoos in general are becoming more and more popular within the disabled community, actually. While I can't prove it, I'm gonna say that I'm a trend setter.

In conclusion, being a cripple can have a negative impact on one's self-image, especially if your disability leaves you severely deformed. But if you make peace with what you cannot change and change what you can, a cripple can have the self-esteem of a normal person... if not more!

Crippie's Tippie of the Day- If people laugh at you, tease you, and bully you because of the way you were born, ignore them. They tease you because they are idiots who do not know any better. They might want to make you feel weak, but you are stronger and braver than they will ever be.

The Pros And Cons of Being Disabled

Greetings,


People often ask me if I could somehow be magically cured, would I take the opportunity? Honestly it's not an easy question to answer. I decided to make a list of the pros and cons of being a cripple to see which one would win.
CON:
1- Everyday tasks are challenging and painful
2- People treat you differently
3- You feel like an outsider
4- You are never "normal"
5- Flat out inability to do certain tasks
PRO:
1- Handicap Parking Permit... HOLLA!
2- Inner strength and character
3- Different sense of reality
I'd like to elaborate on the last one. Thanks to my disability I've learned a lot of life's lessons in a relatively short period of time. This altered, and in my opinion, improved sense of reality is the best perk of being a cripple (although handicap parking permits are freakin' awesome). So to answer the question... if I could be magically cured would I take the opportunity? While I would love to be free of illness I would have a massive identity crisis without it, so I'll just save myself the trouble and stay as I am.


Extended Crippie's Tippies (Crippie's Life Lessons) Part 1
1) Sometimes you have to do something regardless of whether or not it is painful. I learned this with years of physical therapy. Physical therapy is crazy painful, but if I didn't do I wouldn't be able to walk.
2) All things will pass. Whenever I am in a lot of pain or going through a particularly hard day, I remember that's all it is, a bad day. It will pass and it will get better.
3) Be thankful for everything you can do. This is probably really hard to do and practice, but it's important. I know what it is like to suddenly lose the ability to do something, once I lose this ability I feel like crap for not realizing how awesome it was to be able to do it. For example, I've recently lost a lot of mobility in my shoulders, thus I cannot reach very high. I miss being able to grab something on the top of a cabinet. Now I am thankful for every little ability that I do have. While I will probably have more instances throughout my life of losing my ability to do something, sooner or later everyone will experience this. Take a moment every once in a while to appreciate what you have when you have it.