Never Again

Hi Guys

I praying that all of you and your families are safe and sound tonight, and if you are not my heart goes out to you and to all the victims of the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting <3

As most of you know, today sucked beyond all reason. 27 people, 20 innocent children aged 10 and under are gone. I was sitting at work and I happened to look at the news around 10-ish or so. The headline read something along the lines of "Shots fired in elementary school, gunman dead, several injured". My first reaction was "grreeeeeaaaattt... yet ANOTHER dumbass tried to kill himself and take several others with him, at least he didn't kill anyone". Over the next hour and a half or so the story changed. First it was two dead, then three, then "students among the wounded", eventually the headline of "reports that 18 students were killed" started popping up. I just sat at my desk with my hand over my mouth. I kept thinking "it's just a report... nothing is confirmed... nothing is confirmed... they have to be wrong". At this point the anxiety started to set in. I was thinking "This person got the idea to shoot up the school because someone just shot up a mall, what if someone decides to barge into my office and shoot people? Which desk should I hide under? Could I even get under a desk in time?" Naturally today there were a bunch of strangers in my office for various reasons, and every time someone would look into our door I'd think "Oh my God he's gonna kill us". The fear and panic died down after a few hours, but the sadness didn't, especially when the news confirmed that 20 children did not survive. At this point all I can do is wonder why did this happen?

I know we all have our theories and opinions about gun control and how more or less of it could have prevented this disaster, but I think the problem lies somewhere else. Why did this happen? The same reason why the recent mall shooting, the Aurora movie theatre shooting, Columbine, Virginia Tech, the Nickel Mines shootings, etc. happened. Because the shooters were out of their damn minds. How many of them were receiving proper mental health care? None. These people were seriously ill. They would requires countless sessions with some really freaking awesome therapists, God only knows how many expensive medications, and more than likely many stays in psychiatric hospitals. That's what they need, but that is rarely what they get. If you don't have insurance this would cost and INSANE amount of money, and if you are lucky and have insurance it will still cost an INSANE amount of money. If you can't afford to be properly treated, you won't be. This situation creates people like today's asshole. As soon as he was identified people said he was "not right" or "mentally ill". This kid should have been in a psych ward today, not an elementary school.

As Bob Dylan once said "how many deaths will it take till we know that too many people have died?" How many shootings do we have to endure before we fix this problem? When will we recognize that mental health is a very serious issue? When will we realize that everyone needs proper access to the medical care, that it doesn't only effect that one sick person, that they can take dozens down with them? Please, we cannot let this happen again. We cannot let these children die in vain... we just can't.

Crippie's Tippie - If you know anyone that you believe could pose a threat to themselves or others, please do not turn a blind eye towards them. Get them help, immediately. 

Growing Up Crippie

Ohai!

First off, "Crippie's Corner" has reached over 20,000 page views! HOLY FREAKIN' CRAP! Thank you guys so much. When Crippie started blogging I was shocked to see that I had 20 views. I cannot put it into words how much it means to me that you guys are interested in what I say (my piggies are in the background saying "um... mom... all those people just wanna see our faces"). Gotta give a special shout out to Mary, Mario, & Chris for their awesome comments :D

Since we are dealing with a special occasion here, Crippie figured she should answer a cripple question of awesome caliber... "how did having a disability effect you growing up?" Where to begin...

When Crippie was just a lil Crippie, let's say under 10, I knew I had "bumpy bones" and that they made me suck at gym, but that was about it. My disability had a relatively small impact on my life. I had some really good friends, went to birthday parties, did well in school, all that normal jazz. The only time being a cripple really had an impact was in gym. I was horrrrriiiiiibbbbbblllllleeeeeee at most gym activities and kids would pick on me for it. Again, relatively minor in the scheme of things.

Crippie had surgery when she was 10 make my leg straight, and I wound up with massive complications. This is when my disability had a profound effect on me. I was in constant pain, couldn't walk, and couldn't attend school. My "friends" along with damn near everyone I knew opted to no longer associate with me. Fun, right? So Crippie spent the next few years with minimal social contact. Being visibly crippled and being in Middle School do not mix... at all. I was never invited to "hang out" with people, never attended a birthday party, nothing. No one wanted to associate with me so I became very used to being alone. I focused on my studies, I figured winning tons of awards and whooping everyone's butts in class was a subtle "screw y'all".

In high school most people still wouldn't associate with Crippie, but I figured ways to better select friends. Crippie opted to hang with people who wouldn't shun me for being a cripple... these people were other cripples and members of a local religious commune. I had a handful of friends in high school and at age 17 I was finally invited to a birthday party! Still, I had very limited social interaction. My summers were consumed with surgeries, so I couldn't exactly go "hang out" with people. Crippie compensated for the general physical sickness and social inadequacies by being insanely smart. Crippie did insanely well on all of her exams, and graduated in the top percent of her class. I never missed a day of high school and won a bunch of scholarships and awards!

I guess it's safe to say that being a cripple had a massive effect on my life, especially my social life. This is why Crippie doesn't take a lot of her "autistic tendencies" terribly seriously... hard to tell if they're actually autistic tendencies or a result of being treated like crap by damn near everyone outside of my family. It was definitely challenging growing up with a disability. It was very painful, very frustrating, and very isolating. The more I think about it... the more I realize that my life really sucked from ages 10-18. Alas, no point in dwelling on that... now Crippie has to acknowledge the crap, learn from it, and move on.

Crippie's Tippie - If your friend is sick, having surgery, anything... don't act like they fell off the face of the Earth. Hang out with them, call, text, post a message on their facebook wall, ANYTHING to let them know that you do in fact care. 

P.S. Anyone interested in hearing about growing up with a disability from my mom's point of view? I know she certainly has some tippies for the normals

On Bullies & Being Bullied

Hey Y'all

I figured I'd discuss a "hot button" issue tonight... bullying. Bullying has definitely been a hot topic issue for the past few months and rightfully so. It's become an issue because we allowed it to happen. Damn near all of us have been bullied at one point or another, so we are used to it and numb to it. We don't always see how bad bullying can get, especially with the onset of social media, and kids are paying the ultimate price of it. I figure I might as well share my experience with bullying.
When I was in Elementary School I was mainly teased for being slow in gym. It wasn't anything Earth shattering but it made me hate gym. Most of my experiences with teasing stem from Middle School. I was teased because I had "bad hair", "bad clothes", and the whole "cripple" thing. I got the occasional snarky comment and some genius tried to trip me once. Most of the people I knew opted to shun me for some reason or another, mainly because I was very sick in Middle School and the little normals couldn't deal with it. In hindsight most of what I went through wasn't terrible but it had a profound effect on my life regardless. When people stopped talking to me I stopped talking to them. I became socially awkward. This was the point when I started missing milestones. To this day I am what some might consider "socially retarded". I don't look people in the eye and I am insanely quiet. I pretty much useless in social situations with people I don't know, I just sit in the corner and keep to myself. So yeah, I have deep seeded feelings that being sick and stupid little normals ruined my childhood. I'm trying to "get over" all that stuff, it's a process but I feel I'm making improvements.
In High School I figured that bullies are just assholes and should be treated as such. Whenever someone would try to say something rude to me or to my friends I would critique their form and lack of originality. I recall one time when I was senior some little twerp was trying to say something rude to me (I think he was calling me a bitch, I don't remember) and I responded with a simple "You're a sophomore... why the hell are you even talking to me?". It shut him up.

So what can we do about this? Here's a special edition of Crippie's Tippie!

Crippie's Tippie for kids being bullied- 
-Remember that bullies are assholes, you cannot let them have any power over you
-Be a wise ass right back to them, SHOW NO FEAR
-What goes around comes around. I recently found some of my old tormentors on facebook, they now lead lonely miserable lives! 
-People tease others to feel better about themselves, chances are the bully has issues
-Remember that Middle School sucks for everyone. 
-The whole "it gets better" thing is true. What happens in Middle School and High School is so insignificant in the long run.
-Please do not harm yourself or anyone else. If your bullying situation is that bad that you feel you need to do one of those things, please tell an adult. There is someone out there who can help you.


Crippie's Tippie for kids who pick on other kids to make themselves feel better-
-Grow the hell up, seriously
-R-E-S-P-E-C-T find out what means in general


Crippie's Tippie for Parents
-Teach your children to respect everyone
-Your child is not perfect, if you find out your kid is bullying others... PUNISH THEM. Let them know that what they are doing is beyond horrible and cannot be tolerated. 
-If your child is being bullied remember that it might not seem like a huge issue, but to a pre-teen EVERYTHING IS A HUGE ISSUE
-Remember that its not "just" bullying, it can have very severe consequences.


What do you guys think about the bullying issue? What should we do about it? Feel free to post your opinion in the comment section.

Disability & College

Oh Hai

As promised I would continue the discussion on how being disabled effects school, particularly college. First off, I chose a smaller campus that was for the most part handicap accessible. That was my first priority on my school wish list. Unfortunately the size and layout of various colleges kept me from going there, regardless of whatever education and scholarships they offered me. Once I selected my school I was surprised by how easy it was to get accommodations. I needed a dorm on the first floor, done. If I needed a copy of the teacher's notes I got them. I really was shocked at how pleasant that whole experience was. Luckily my disability hasn't effected the educational portion of my college experience. I wish I could say the same for my social life. The medications I take don't mix with alcohol, so I can't play drinking games with my friends. I can barely walk, let alone dance, so going to dances isn't exactly "fun". I have chronic fatigue (I get very tired, very easily) so I can't stay out at all hours of the night and what energy I do have is spent on my school work.

Dealing with that can definitely be a challenge. I try to keep in mind that I am not here to get black out drunk every weekend. I am here to get an education so I won't wind up on disability when I get out of here. Able-bodied readers, I have a question for you. What is the fun of getting black out drunk and spending the weekend vomiting?

Crippie's Tippie- Learn to make ice-cream related beverages. When you can't drink alcohol with you friends, chances are they will drink milk shakes with you. 

Disability & The School System

Salutations!

"What challenges does disability bring to the school situation?' That question pops up quite often. Having a disability can prove very challenging for many reasons. For the time being let's discuss K-12 because college is a whole different story.

Elementary School- Thankfully I wasn't terribly sick during elementary school, people didn't know I was disabled until 4th grade when I started getting worse. The main problem I had in elementary school was gym. I HATE GYM. Obviously, due to my crippledness I could barely do anything in gym. My family had to go to the school and ask the teacher to modify my gym activities. It was a small school so the teacher listened. The kid's usually pretty nice to me, except in gym. People used to laugh at me because I always was last. CRIPPIE'S TIPPIE- This is the point where you start having to advocate for your needs. If you don't bring the issue to the school's mind they are not going to notice. Parents, at this point teachers might start thinking you are a crazy whining parent (sorry about that) but you are the one who knows your child best and you are right. Also if you child is visibly disabled, perhaps go talk to their classmates to help them understand why your kid is different. 

Middle School/ Junior High- I was very sick during middle school. Due to my disability I was home schooled for most of my middle school years. The school was bigger and thus it became harder for me to get aid. I had to have a 504 (official plan of care) and meetings with the heads of the school to make sure I got what aid I needed. The aid I needed was a tutor, modified schedule, no gym, extended test time, and an aid to get from class to class in a wheelchair. There were times when we had to put up a big fight in order to get what was needed. The kids in middle school were acted rather nasty towards me. They ignored me, teased me, and tried to trip me on occasion. CRIPPIE'S TIPPIE- The bigger the school, the harder you have to fight. And again parents, at this point the people at the school will think you are insane and annoying. Too bad for the school. Again, you are right.

High School- I wasn't terribly sick during high school, but I still had my health issues. I had the 504 in order to get the modifications I needed and it almost always worked out rather well. I actually worked out my schedule so I could leave early. The kids weren't as stupid as they were in middle school, but there are always idiots that think it's okay to tease cripples (BTW, don't tease cripples, we have enough emotional baggage from being crippled). CRIPPIE'S TIPPIE- This is the point where the cripple has to start speaking for themselves when possible. Partly because the school system probably hates your parents by now, and partly because your parents won't be there when college comes around.