Crippie To The Rescue!!!!!!!!!!!

Ohai!

Alright, day two of the post-a-thon. Today I'm actually gonna use a "Health Activists Writer's Month Challenge" prompt. Today's prompt is...  Superpower Day. If you had a superpower – what would it be? How would you use it?


Crippie thought this prompt was nifty so she thought long and hard about it. I came up with three super powers that would be freakin' awesome to have. Naturally Crippie realllllyyyy over thought the whole thing and weighed the pros and cons of each of my favorite powers.

1- THE ABILITY TO FLY

Pros

- YOU CAN FREAKIN' FLY!!!!

- It's economical, and environmentally friendly

- I could be independent

- I could go anywhere I wanted without anxiety

Cons

- Weather would still be a bitch, no flying during storms

- Crippie is not exactly graceful, so I stand a good chance of whacking into a tree or plane

- If it involved actual arm flapping I'd be screwed

2- INVISIBILITY

Pros

- You can be like Harry Potter

- You can troll people

- You can go to places like Disneyland for free

- Airport security would be so much easier 

Cons

- Knowing me, I'd use this power for evil instead of good

- People would bump in to you

- Unless your clothes possess special powers as well, you'd need to be nekkid for this to work

3- THE POWER TO HEAL/CURE DISEASES

Pros

- Massive improvement on the quality of life of everyone

- No more cripples

- Kinda solves the healthcare situation

Cons

- No more cripples

- If I was the sole person with this ability, literally everyone in the world would need my assistance, and I simply wouldn't be able to do that (or would I... DA DA DUM) so I'd have to live with the guilt that I'm playing god and that some person somewhere just died because I couldn't help them.

- I'd probably get a massive god complex and turn into a total asshole

HONORABLE MENTIONS

X-Ray Vision - I just think it would be funny, "why does my leg hurt *looks* oh... ok"

Mind Control - Also would be fun to warp the minds of people I don't care for

Speaks to animals - So me and Frida could have deep conversations about life 

I just realized that being a witch would pretty much encompass these powers into one nifty package. Hogwarts is still sending out their letters, right?

Crippie's Tippie - if you want to partake in HAWMC, go HERE

NHBPM- DONE!

*Gives virtual cookies and skittles out*

It's November 30th and you know what that means... NATIONAL HEALTH BLOG POST MONTH IS OVER! DONE! The final prompt is... Play that horn. Want to hear a secret? You’re awesome. (It’s actually not even really a secret.) This is going to be hard for you, O Modest One, but you gotta give yourself props today. Write three things you love about yourself – things you’re great at – or just want to share. Don’t you dare signpost or undercut those self-compliments!

Anyone who actually knows me knows that I'm not terribly modest... if I do something awesome I let people know. So... I COMPLETED THE 30 CHALLENGE, YAY ME! Granted a missed the first day but I was allowed a post skip day. 

Now, about that actual list of things Crippie is awesome at... 

-Crippie is very, very good at rises to challenges. Senior thesis in 4 months instead of 8, DONE. Perfect attendance in high school and college, CHECK. Graduate Magna Cum Laude, CHALLENGE COMPLETED. 30 blog posts in 30 days, FREAKIN' DONE!!!!

-Crippie is an awesome graphic designer. Hey, I spent like, 30 seconds kerning that little "BOO YA" thing above (kerning is adjusting the space between the letters FYI).

-Crippie is apparently an animal whisperer. I dunno, I feel like I "know" what my guinea pigs and puppies want/think and I speak for them often. (Helen is sitting next to me BTW, she says "I AM TRYING TO SLEEP... STOP ASKING ME WHAT I WANT TO TELL YOUR READERS!").

I could go on but alas, the prompt said three things ;) 

OMG... I just noticed this is my 100th post! Kinda fitting ain't it? 

Crippie's Tippie- I've said it before and I'll say it again, celebrate all the victories in your life. I might be tired and in a fair amount of pain... BUT I COMPLETED THE 30 DAY CHALLENGE!!!!! BOOM!

This post was written as part of NHBPM – 30 health posts in 30 days: http://bit.ly/vU0g9J 

NHBPM- Crippie Quote-ie

Yo!

I finally made an official Facebook Page for Crippie's Corner! The other page I have is technically for my graphic design stuff and I figured it was time to separate the two, although I still am going to send blog updates to my "wynning designs" page too.
I can see the light at the end of the National Health Blog Post Month! If only I could fully understand tonight's prompt... Quote Unquote. Grab a quote from this site (type in any word – see what comes up!) and use that quote to set you writing.
Seems like an easy prompt, right? NO! I tried typing in words like "cripple", "tumor", and other various disability words I came up with blog entries from other readers. I also tried words like "nachos", "llama", "weasel", and various other stupid words because I am an "internet female" and it's what we do. So it's not like I'm willingly ignoring a prompt... it's just that I fail at it.
To make up for my failure I'll discuss one of my all time favorite cripple quotes. It was told to me by a fellow cripple years ago and it really changed my opinion on being a cripple.

We are zebras, we must revel in our differences.

I love this quote for several reasons. The whole referring to cripple as a zebra thing is great, because zebras are freakin' awesome. They're like horses... BUT PRETTIER!!!! Sure, I might be different because I'm a cripple, but that's not a bad thing. It's something to embrace and be proud of. Sure, my arms and legs are kinda crooked, my fingers and toes are a little weird, I'm slightly shorter than what I should've been, whatever... it makes me unique. It sets me apart from everyone else, and being different from everyone else is a wonderful thing! 

Crippie has a really random question for her wonderful readers... know any good ways to painlessly untangle hair? My hair is super curly and frizzy and has recently decided to start locking together. I don't think dread locs are good look for me. I could cut the really stupid areas out, but I have issues cutting my hair really short (bad memories). Any tips readers? And yes, my hair looks like this whenever I brush it. 

Crippie's Tippie- Wanna buy my book? Use the code CYBERMONDAY to get 30% OFF... TODAY ONLY!!! 

This post was written as part of NHBPM – 30 health posts in 30 days: http://bit.ly/vU0g9J 

NHBPM- Crippie Highlights!

Ohai Everybody!

Angel says thank you for any birthday well wishes and a special thank you for any well wishes that actually involved food. Moving on to tonight's blog prompt, its pretty easy so I won't ignore it ;). The topic today is... “Best of” post. Grab a post from your archives and repost it! Add a few sentences at the beginning to frame it. Why you chose it. Why you liked it. And why it should be shared again. 
Alrighty, I'm gonna base my "best of" post by the amount of views/comments/feedback/etc. I've gotten from it.

1st Awesome Crippie Post - THE SCAR WARS POST. I guess people like hearing me talk about tampon shaped scars.

2nd Awesome Crippie Post - THE IT'S GON RAIN POST. It's awesome for several reasons... OLLIE WILLIAMS, RAIN, PEOPLE LIKE IT

3rd Awesome Crippie Post - THE CRIPPIE LISTS THE PROS AND CONS OF BEING A CRIPPLE POST - People like finding pros to being a cripple I reckon.

So there ya go, 3 of Crippie's most popular posts. Enjoy 'em all over again!

Crippie's Tippie- Google Analytics is a nifty tool to use if you want to track blog stats beyond what blogger has. 

This post was written as part of NHBPM – 30 health posts in 30 days: http://bit.ly/vU0g9J 

Working With A Disability- Month One

Greetings!

It's 1:45 in the morning and I have absolutely no idea why I'm up right now. I had a very busy day and I didn't have any caffeinated beverages at a terribly late hour, but alas, I'm up. Well, might as well make use of this time and get some bloggin' in.

As some of you may know October is National Disability Employment Awareness Month. I find it unfortunate that we need an awareness month to remind people to hire cripples. Apart from the financial benefits a company can get from hiring a disabled person I feel that cripples bring an extra set of skills to the table when it comes to the workforce.

Take my profession for example, one of the "major downsides" of being a graphic designer is that you have to please the client even though you will probably not be happy with the results. This "less than ideal" situation is very hard for some designers to understand and cope with, resulting in some very unhappy designers and some realllllyyyyyy unhappy clients. Because of my crippledness my entire life is filled with less than ideal situations! Less than perfect situations like a client wanting some God-aweful design don't bother me like they bother other people. Sure, it's annoying as all hell, but it comes with the territory and when all is said and done it's not really a big deal. The absolutely craptacular experiences in my life have given me a better attitude when it comes to working in general.

My crippledness has also contributed to a very strong work ethic. When I was 10 I couldn't walk and I needed a lot of painful physical therapy in order to walk again. At first I resisted and refused to do my exercises because they caused me some of the worst pain I will ever experience in my life. One day my physical therapist and I had this little conversation.

PT- I need you to bend your knee
Crippie (who was in tears from pain)- I can't, it hurts too much
PT- Do you ever want to walk again?
Crippie (still crying)- Yes *snif snif*
PT- Do you want to get better?
Crippie (still crying)- yes
PT- Then suck it up and bend your damn leg!

Harsh words but they needed to be said. From that day on I realized that if I have to do something unpleasant or painful I have to put on my big girl panties and deal with it . My boss was hesitant to mention to me that I would have to work Saturdays and would have to pull some very long nights at times, and she looked oddly surprised when I told her "Sure, no problem".

Cripples can also bring enhanced problem solving skills to the table. Since our entire lives are comprised of finding ways to do everyday tasks we become quicker and sharper to problem at hand. Cause lets face it, once you've figured out the age old problem of "I can't get up but I need to use the bathroom" you can pretty much think of anything.

So how have my cripple-skills helped me with my first month of work? I haven't yelled at any clients for wanting ugly designs, I haven't complained about working late (I enjoy working late actually... more $$$), I found ways to make some harder to please clients happy, and I found ways to keep my illness to a minimum at work. I can safely say that my disability has not had any major negative impacts with my work and no one in the office seems to mind that I am a cripple. Works for me!

Wow, all this blogging has actually gotten me sleepy. In conclusion hiring a cripple can be an extreme advantage for any company. I think this meme that I made sums this post up pretty well...

Crippie's Tippie- Apart from HIRE ALL THE CRIPPLES, Cheerios make a lovely work time snack.

Criplomatic Immunity

'Ello Guv'nah

Today I would like to discuss Criplomatic Immunity with you all. Criplomatic Immunity is one of the few perks of being crippled. Essentially it is when a cripple gets some special treatment (handicap parking, first in line sorta thing) or special service (financial aid) purely because they are disabled. For example, a certain program paid for my driving lessons because I needed special help. This program also helped pay for my college education. Why? Because it's ultimately cheaper than paying my disability checks.

Generally speaking I do not discuss my perks with "normal" people because they have gotten rather mad at me for having some nice benefits. "What did I do to deserve free driving lessons?" "You didn't do anything to deserve free textbooks" "I didn't do anything special to warrant these perks". My response to people like this is pretty simple and straightforward...

Shut up. Yeah, I didn't deserve these perks, but I also don't deserve to be in pain all of time. Which would you rather have a normal life with no perks, or a life of a cripple with the occasional perk. Believe me, the normal route is so much better. Almost every aspect of my life is made painful thanks to my disability, why shouldn't I take advantage of a good parking space?

Criplomatic Immunity honestly helps keep me sane. There are times when my life flat out sucks, but the perks help even things out.

Crippie's Tippie- Don't call crippples who take hand-outs and perks greedy. I can guarantee that you would do the same thing if the tables were turned.

The Pros And Cons of Being Disabled

Greetings,


People often ask me if I could somehow be magically cured, would I take the opportunity? Honestly it's not an easy question to answer. I decided to make a list of the pros and cons of being a cripple to see which one would win.
CON:
1- Everyday tasks are challenging and painful
2- People treat you differently
3- You feel like an outsider
4- You are never "normal"
5- Flat out inability to do certain tasks
PRO:
1- Handicap Parking Permit... HOLLA!
2- Inner strength and character
3- Different sense of reality
I'd like to elaborate on the last one. Thanks to my disability I've learned a lot of life's lessons in a relatively short period of time. This altered, and in my opinion, improved sense of reality is the best perk of being a cripple (although handicap parking permits are freakin' awesome). So to answer the question... if I could be magically cured would I take the opportunity? While I would love to be free of illness I would have a massive identity crisis without it, so I'll just save myself the trouble and stay as I am.


Extended Crippie's Tippies (Crippie's Life Lessons) Part 1
1) Sometimes you have to do something regardless of whether or not it is painful. I learned this with years of physical therapy. Physical therapy is crazy painful, but if I didn't do I wouldn't be able to walk.
2) All things will pass. Whenever I am in a lot of pain or going through a particularly hard day, I remember that's all it is, a bad day. It will pass and it will get better.
3) Be thankful for everything you can do. This is probably really hard to do and practice, but it's important. I know what it is like to suddenly lose the ability to do something, once I lose this ability I feel like crap for not realizing how awesome it was to be able to do it. For example, I've recently lost a lot of mobility in my shoulders, thus I cannot reach very high. I miss being able to grab something on the top of a cabinet. Now I am thankful for every little ability that I do have. While I will probably have more instances throughout my life of losing my ability to do something, sooner or later everyone will experience this. Take a moment every once in a while to appreciate what you have when you have it.