Crippie Is A Pretty Pretty Princess

Ohai Everybody!

LESS THAN A MONTH UNTIL FANNY IS REMOVED... YAY!!! Today I started practicing walking with my "polio crutches" as my father has lovingly dubbed them. I walked up and down my driveway for about half an hour, varying non and partial weight bearing as I went. Considering I use one crutch every day I didn't think two crutches would be a huge adjustment. Lol, I was ever so wrong. It took me foreeevvvvveeeeerrrrrrr to get down the driveway. My pace picked up eventually, but couldn't help but be reminded of "The Devil Wears Prada" while I was attempting to walk...

I dunno about y'all, but I lurv me some gifs with funny quotes :D

Moving on, I figured I'd answer a cripple question tonight. Well, it's sorta a question anyway. One thing I've noticed is that since my disability is somewhat visible people just assume that I am terribly self-conscious and have no self-esteem. I don't understand this logic. What, just because my body is riddled with tumors I'm supposed to hate it?

Yup, I'm going on a picture spree! Back to the subject, yes MHE has definitely caused some skeletal deformities. My body isn't perfect, but who's is honestly... oh right... NO ONES. I recognize that there are not so fantastic portions of my body, but I'm not emotionally invested in them. Just accept your less than fabulous features and roll with it. My legs aren't great, but I've found pants and longer skirts disguise them. My arms are a wee bit short with some visible tumors on my upper arms, t-shirts fix that problem. I'm the shortest person in my family, meh, apparently that will make me seem younger which will be very much welcome as I get older. I look at my body in the same way I look at life itself, focus on the good parts. For example, I have a tumor right by one of my nails. A little over a year ago that tumor split my nail. Instead of being bummed about having my naturally long nail cracked right down the middle I ran with it and covered that sucker up with nail polish. Actually my hands and my nails are one of my better attributes, so the nail polish highlighted the awesomeness of these features, it also helps down play the tumors on my fingers. 

That's my most recent nail design, can y'all spot the cracked nail? It's the middle finger... damn near impossible to tell, right! When I see this picture I don't focus on my tumors or how my ring finger is crooked, I see my snazzy manicure which I did all by myself. At the end of the day, I can't change my less desirable features... so I accentuate my positive attributes, and I know I have them.

Why yes Regina and everyone who seems so shocked to learn that my self esteem is not in fact down the toilet. I feel like a pretty pretty princess, as should every women. Cause let's face it ladies... whether you're a cripple or a normal we're...

Crippie's Tippie - If a picture is worth a thousand words, then a moving gif is worth a zillion! 

Also, if any of my crippled comrades are also using nail polish to hide split nails and such, check THIS place out, if you join their polish of the month club, use the code COLOR2012 to get your first box for a penny! You can always cancel after that ;)

Well, There's Your Problem

'Ello

The Mama Pig Update - Mama continues to stabilize. She still not 100% back to normal. I'd probably say she's about 90%. Crippie is gonna monitor her throughout the day tomorrow since I don't have work. Since Mama Pig is feeling better I can finally devote more time to my other piggies. Tonight I was chilling with Nellie. Nellie missed all the snuggles.

I call this look "Stare Vacantly at the Wall While Mommy Gives Me Rubs"

Crippie was supposed to have her second MRI in a few hours. BUT we ended up canceling it. Why? Because the people at the radiologist's office called us and said that the first MRI should provide my doctor with all of the information he needs. Crippie is gonna pick up the MRI disc tomorrow and send it to my doctor. If this is the case, that my problems are so blatantly obvious that a second MRI is not needed... CRIPPIE REALLY WANTS TO KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON! Crippie is pretty sure that Fanny is pressing on the sciatic nerve but I have no clue with what's causing my sitting problems. I really hope the answer is super obvious and more importantly, super easy to treat. Although, Crippie is being very cautious about this new development of sorts, cause let's face it, the radiology office could just be seeing tumors and assuming that they are the cause of my problems. Once Crippie's ortho sees the images from my first MRI he'll let us know whether I need another MRI or not. 

The heat wave has been continuing by me. It was again insanely hot on Tuesday. Crippie shockingly decided to wear shorts to work (it's hot and our dress code is very relaxed). I'll admit even though I am ok with showing my legs and my scars to random people, I was afraid that my coworkers would notice all my scars. Yes, I already walk with a cane so it's kinda obvious that something ain't right... but I don't like having my coworkers know the extent of my crippledness. I'm afraid that once I make it really obvious people will always treat me "special". For now they treat me like any other coworker, I like being treated like a normal and I thought showing my scars might jeopardize that. That being said, it was insanely hot and my office is full of windows and not so stellar AC. So, Crippie again decided to put on her big girl panties, suck it up, and put on the damn shorts. Much to my surprise no one noticed or cared about my legs! No one said a word to me, no one asked what happened to my leg, NOTHING! Well, I could tell that someone was staring at my leg at one point... but still... not bad. Crippie has to remember that adults have better things to do than notice my legs. That's probably one of my favorite parts about being surrounded by adults, they treat me like a normal human being. I reckon I'm still transitioning from being around younger, dumber people who would treat me like crap because of the whole cripple thing. 

Before I depart for the night, Crippie has to give a quick shout out to my Mom & Dad. Yesterday was their 25th wedding anniversary! Happy Silver Anniversary!!! <3

Crippie's Tippie - Just because a problem is visible to you, that doesn't mean that everyone else will notice it.

Screw It, I'm Puttin' Shorts On

Crippie has oodles of things to discuss with y'all!

First and foremost, Crippie hopes everyone is enjoying their Memorial Day weekend. While we are enjoying our time off, let us take a moment to remember everyone who gave their lives for this country. May they rest in peace. 

The Mama Pig Update - Mama is continuing to stabilize. She had two whole days without monitoring! I monitored her for about 2 hours today, she wasn't gassy at all and she was able to poop. She's not completely recovered yet, and I'll probably take her for a drive tomorrow to really get the gears going. Crippie cannot even begin to tell you guys how relieved I am that she is improving. When she first got sick I thought I was gonna lose her. It's been a rough couple of weeks with her, but all the work and worrying seems to have paid off. Crippie really can't say this enough, pigs are hard work. If I hadn't done anything to help Mama she wouldn't be here now. 

Next, it has come to my attention that I am probably offending a bunch of people by calling people without disabilities "Normals". To the readers who are offended... I'm sorry if I am offending you, but I just as I use the word "cripple" I mean no harm. I like to think of it like Harry Potter. There are people who possess magical powers (witches and wizards) and people who do not possess magical powers (muggles). It is easier to say "muggle" versus "people who do have magic powers". Yes, Crippie is well aware that just because a person is not disabled that doesn't mean they are normal and that their lives are full of sunshine are unicorns. I know that there is no such thing as a normal person and that everyone is messed up in some way or another. But for the purposes of this blog, which mainly pertains to disability it makes sense to classify people who have disabilities and people who don't.

I call people without disabilities "Normals" simply because I couldn't find a better word for 'em. Believe me I thought about it. Crippie thought about "Healthy" but that didn't really make sense. "Able-bodied" was also in the maybe pile, but that sounded like I was excluding people with mental illnesses. Someone jokingly said I should call 'em "Bloods" but that would have been reaaaaaaalllllyyyy racist and offensive. If anyone can come up with a better name please let me know. I'd love to see what y'all come up with. 

Moving on, I don't know about you guys, but it was really freakin' hot today. So hot that Crippie needed to wear shorts. Why is that such a big deal? Because my legs aren't exactly my best asset and I don't particularly care for exposing them. Crippie's general approach to clothing would be to highlight the assets and minimize the less awesome parts of you. Anything above the knee tends to make the imperfections in my legs more obvious, so I usually stick to knee length skirts and shorts. I'm  not saying "OMG my legs are sooooooo ugly and deformed I hate them", but everyone has a not so awesome "problem area" and mine is my legs. But the today's heat called for above the knee shorts. So Crippie put on her big girl panties, and then put on her only pair of above the knee shorts. I must say, it felt kinda liberating. Sure, my legs are still not awesome, but I really do not give a crap! Crippie will always notice and focus on the problems with my legs, but most normals don't see anything wrong with 'em... well... except for the giant scar running down my leg, but I think of that as a conversation piece. To prove my point, here's Crippie's leggies... and yes, for Crippie those are really short shorts (modesty is the best policy!)

My conversation piece, it's won several scar wars

My leggies

Left leg, showin' off three of my surgical sites. 

I thought I had mosquito bites on my leg, turns out they are tumors on my ankle, SWEET! 

See, even though I see a lotta things wrong with my legs I can recognize that they're not terrible. Who knows, maybe I'll wear a skirt without tights to work this week! SCANDALOUS! 

Random, I finally saw "The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo". Crippie loved it, especially the opening graphics, sooooooooooo shnazzzzzzy.

Crippie's Tippie - Chances are your body doesn't suck as much as you think it does

NHBPM- Branding "Crippie"

Aloha!

Statement #3 was the lie, apart from the episode where Marsha gets pelted in the face with the football, I really don't care for the Brady Bunch. Moving on to a more interesting prompt, today's is... My personal brand. As a Health Activist, you are a front-facing leader. What do you imagine you look like to your readers? What qualities do you possess. It’s ok to toot your own horn today – you have full permission to indulge. And don’t hold back.
Ideally I'd like to appear as awesome smart, quirky, funny, optimistic, ginger and a cripple. Realistically this is what I think people see when they imagine me

If there are any rage comic readers on this blog that agree with that image... PLEASE COMMENT. I really want to know if I'm right in this assumption. So yeah, I think people see me as quirky, nerdy, optimistic (almost annoyingly optimistic), ginger cripple. I tried to take some photobooth pictures of how I "want" to appear as an activist/blogger but this is what I ended up with...

Yeaaaahhhh... I ended up with a weird blend of serious and funny which works for me, and yes Frida Kahlo is photobombing those pictures. Ultimately that's what I try to brand myself as. Crippie is a blogger/activist who uses humor and optimism to get through tough times. That's me in a nutshell right there. 

So what do you guys think? Am I in the general ballpark here? Am I a totally dallusional asshole? 

Crippie's Tippie- As far as general blog branding goes, I think having a nickname helps you be more memorable in the reader's eyes. 

This post was written as part of NHBPM – 30 health posts in 30 days: http://bit.ly/vU0g9J 

These Shews Rule!

Ello!

Yes, that "Kelly" song will never, ever go away. I hope everyone had an awesome weekend and Monday. My weekend went relatively well. I got a fair amount of freelancing done. The only real thing of "interest" that did over the weekend was that I obtained some new shoes. Before you go turn to another website, allow me to explain why I think shews would be a remotely interesting blog topic. 

I was 10 years old when I got RSD (nerve disorder, uber painful). The RSD made my left foot swollen and impossible to touch, thus no shoes. Ever since then the hunt for shoes has become more than "what do I like?" but into "what can I wear?". While thankfully my RSD is in remission and both my feet are the same size again, I still have a lot of problems finding shoes. My MHE caused one of my toes to be malformed, I guess one would call it a hammertoe. My ankles are also riddled with tumors so finding shoes that don't irritate that is a challenge. I also can't bend down to tie shoes.

While I would enjoy the ability to pick whichever shews my little heart desired (and trust me, I could've been a shoe whore) I'm content with the ability to just wear shoes. At the same time, I've had to wear ugly orthopedic shoes and I refuse to look that again. I like to try to find happy mediums of what I would like to wear and what I can wear. 

1) Heels are the devils work- Heels just do not work for me, they put my ankles at a weird angle and are very painful. Some people might be able to walk in them somehow... I just don't see how. 

2) Flats are awesome- Practical and stylish... I see no objections here.

3) Cloth... Also Awesome- Cloth is in general very nice and flexible, unlike leather shoes which can be less forgiving. 

4) You Don't Necessarily Have to Put Comfort First- First I see if a shoe FITS me, if it isn't the most comfortable shoe in the world I just obtain some inserts. Simple solution. 

5) Slip On Shoes Are Simply Smashing- Most styles of shoes have a slip on variety, I approve of these very much. Laces and even velcro can be a challenge for someone who cannot reach their toes. 

Crippie's Tippie- Just because you might have to put some extra effort into something that doesn't mean that it isn't worth doing.

You're Not Alone

Greetings

One question that I get asked every so often is "Do you feel alone?". When I was younger (around 10) the answer was "OH MY GOD YES". I was actually rather upset then, I thought I was the only person in New York to have what I have *sob*. Then a miraculous thing happened, the series of tubes that is "TEH INTERWEBZ" came into existence. The internet is, in my opinion, one of the greatest things to come along for the disabled community (I'll elaborate on this in a future post). Thanks to the internet, support groups became sooooooooooooooooo much easier to find and join. So I became in contact with serval people who had what I have. Suddenly I wasn't alone! We started having yearly parties at my house with about 20 to 50 people with my disorder there. It was awesome. I now know hundreds of people with my disability. Some of them are half-way around that world (CRIPPIE SHOUT OUT, Hi Norwegians! I can see that some of you have been looking at this blog!). Some of them are literally 15 minutes away (apparently I was very mis-informed about thinking I was the only person in NY with MHE). I talk to them on facebook, I see them every once in awhile. We help one another out and we are always there for each other.
So to answer the question, no, I don't feel alone. There are people all over the world that know what I am going through and I know what they are going through. I am not alone. Not of my fellow crippies are alone.

Crippie's Tippie- If you are a newly diagnosed crippie, support groups are a great place to find... well... support. They're great places in general for resources and advice for your specific disability, cause let's face it, no one knows about it more than the people who have it.


P.S. Happy Passover to my fellow Jews out there, Shalom!

Self Image And Disability

Salutations!

One thing I wanted to do with this blog is answer questions that I am often asked. One of the big ones is "how does being disabled effect the way you think about yourself?" First off, my main disability causes some skeletal deformations. That means some of my bones are shorter, and warped.

That's my arm, and probably the most normal looking limb I have. Thanks to my disability my legs are different widths and heights, my arms are crooked, not to mention the 15 scars from my 10 surgeries, it's safe to say in general my body does not look "normal" by any standards.

That being said, I can't say I'm terribly self-concious about these imperfections. I used to be insanely self-conscious about every imperfection my disability bestowed upon me. When skinny jeans and leggings started becoming popular I REFUSED to wear them due to the fact that my legs are kinda crooked and are different widths. One day I got tired of limiting myself because I don't look "normal". I obtained a pair of skinny jeans and go figure, they didn't look half bad. Sure, my legs looked crooked but when I went out in public no one seemed to notice. It was then that I realized that all my "flaws" are not visible to the untrained eye and thus NO ONE CARES! No one cares if my arm is slightly warped, no one cares if I have a giant scar on my leg. Once I realized that other people don't care, I stopped caring.

Along with realizing that no one else cares about the imperfections, I made peace with my body by gaining some control over it. I did this by getting a tattoo. Most of the visible alterations of my body are scars, I had no say in what they would look like and while they are kick-ass they're not particularly attractive. The tattoo was an alteration that I could control, and it was colorful and beautiful. Tattoos in general are becoming more and more popular within the disabled community, actually. While I can't prove it, I'm gonna say that I'm a trend setter.

In conclusion, being a cripple can have a negative impact on one's self-image, especially if your disability leaves you severely deformed. But if you make peace with what you cannot change and change what you can, a cripple can have the self-esteem of a normal person... if not more!

Crippie's Tippie of the Day- If people laugh at you, tease you, and bully you because of the way you were born, ignore them. They tease you because they are idiots who do not know any better. They might want to make you feel weak, but you are stronger and braver than they will ever be.