Well... That's Special

Ohai!

Yup, I still realllllllllyyyyy suck. But I swear I have something for y'all tonight that more than makes up for my absence. I'll show you that later. In the meantime here's what's been going on here...

I have been in a LOT of pain. The past couple of months have been terrible pain wise. Wanna know why? Remember how Fanny irritated my sciatic nerve? Well... it looks like even though Fanny is gone the sciatica remains, and it's been having a massive flair up with this weather. To make matters worse I went to my doctor on Wednesday, she said apart from the increase in pain I'm probably developing a tolerance to my pain meds. In other words, I'm in more pain and my pain meds are no longer effective. SUPER DOOPER! My doctor wanted me to take two Neurontins, one in the morning and one at night. I tried the one in the morning thing... but that rendered me useless for the rest of the day. No good. No good at all. So I'm taking the two at night instead. Seems to be helping thus far... still in pain... but not as much. Blah.

I've been trying to be a social creature, YAY ME! On Sunday I had a "Walking Dead" Party with some of my friends. We had a grand ol' time eating brain cupcakes and watching the show. Random, but I hope I'm not the only cripple who related to this scene...

I actually have plans for this weekend too. On Saturday AND Sunday! HOLY CRAP! Working on New Year's Resolutions... LIKE A BOSS! 

So... on to that special treat that I totally owe you guys. A little backstory first. On Valentine's day my dad got me a helium filled balloon. Ok? A couple of days ago it started to die so I figured it was time to cut the balloon and let it go free. The thing is I couldn't let perfectly good helium go to waste. The result is this... I think there might be a swear or two somewhere in there... whoops

Crippie Inhales Helium from Special McSpecial on Vimeo.
Sorry about all the nose scratches... allergies are a bitch. If y'all are wondering my sister is the one singing opera and swearing in the background ;) 
Crippie's Tippie - Take a note from Hershel, if some random person asks to see your specialness, demand alcohol from them! 

Wow, My Hips Suck

Hiya!

Oh my good n' plenty thank you guys so much for your ninja healing vibes! I think they might've worked!
Alright, so here's how Crippie's appointment went... first the nurse who brought me to my room asked me some questions. She must've been new because she asked these questions while the door was still open and she left the x-rays of the last patient on the computer screen. While waiting for my doctor I analyzed the x-rays of the person before me. Crippie thinks their leg had to be broken and straightened with a rod a screws. Then my doctor came in for my check-up. The main focus was my hip. I mentioned that a tumor could be irritating the sciatic nerve. He did an exam which more or less involved poking my ass, it was kinda painful and I'm ticklish so I was giggling most of the time. He also asked how I know it's a tumor pressing on the nerve. The conversation that followed was pretty funny in my opinion...

Doctor - What makes you think a tumor is pressing on that nerve, can you feel a tumor?
Crippie - Most definitely, it's visible on my back
*doctor goes to examine my back and discovers Fanny The Ass Tumor*
Doctor - WHOA... yeaaaaaaaah... let's get you some x-rays

Then Crippie went into the x-ray room. I've had too many x-rays to count, Crippie is kinda upset that I can't glow in the dark yet. Anyway, it's kinda cute to see how the x-ray technician treats me. They always think I'm a n00b and try to be super gentle with me. Go figure this guy sounded super sweet and gentle but I don't think he realized his own strength. He was kinda rough positioning me, you'd think that if someone's x-ray order was for their hips you wouldn't grab the hip to position it. So the x-ray portion was uncomfortable to say the least, but the end results are totally worth the pain for me.

The top x-ray is my new one. The bottom one is the old one for comparison. As you can see Fanny The Ass Tumor has grown quite a bit since my last x-ray. The doctor says I need an MRI to determine is Fanny is irritating my nerve. If that's the case... Fanny's gotta go. On the plus side, that's not a terribly invasive surgery. Shockingly, Crippie has never had an MRI before, so that will be a fun new experience.

As for the whole "I CAN'T SIT" problem, according to the x-ray there are no tumors in that area that would cause a problem. My doctor thinks this issue exists because I am relatively petite, on the skinny side, and I sit down a lot. So apparently my ability to sit has cost me my ability to sit. Damn you irony, damn you. The doctor says a shot of cortisone to the butt could help. The thing is Crippie has an aversion to Cortisone and to having a needle in my ass. Yes, Crippie is well aware that I can tolerate a surgery but not a shot of cortisone in my ass... MOAR IRONY!!! Any suggestions about what to do readers?

Crippie is soooooooooooo glad that her appointment went better than expected. Mama Pig is doing well for the time being. She's getting tired of her medicine, at least she doesn't fight us about it (well, she took a wee on my mom who holding while I fed her). She sends everyone purrs, wheeks, and kisses. She loves attention from people, regardless of where they are.

Crippie's Tippie - The ability to read x-rays comes in realllllllyyyyyyyy handy at times

Blame Sciaticaaaaaaa

Whoa Man,

Did all of my totally far out readers have a groovy 4/20? In all seriousness though, Yom HaShoah or Holocaust Remembrance Day was this week. Before Crippie actually starts her post I wanted to post some songs for Holocaust Remembrance Day...

Moving on to cripple stuff, Crippie's first night with neurontin went relatively well. Most of the aching in my hips went away! The only side effect thus far is that is makes me sorta tired. Crippie can also feel when the medicine kicks in and when it wears off... I'm not sure but I don't think that's good (me thinks it means that I am in a lot pain without it). I was able to get through work with minimal pain, but by the time I got home the meds wore off, so I took them again in the late evening. The meds plus work made me super tired so I slept till dinner. After dinner I played with the pets for a while and then I got tired again. These hip problems are just sucking the energy out of me, it seems like I can hardly do anything right now, and whatever is causing the discomfort sitting makes it hard to sit in certain places in my house. It's getting rather frustrating. Oh well, Crippie has an appointment for the orthopedist on May 3rd. On the bright side, I made it for a year and half without having to see him. I think that's a personal best.

Crippie is trying to get used to this whole "having sciatica" thing... Crippie is wondering if any of her wonderful readers have sciatica and what do y'all do for it? Any tippies for me? If you don't want to leave a comment a private message would be lovely.

On a completely random nerd note... Crippie plays Pottermore (SLYTHERIN BABY) if anyone wants to add me I'm JinxHazel23969

Crippie's Tippie - When times get a little tough, remember that it will pass. It might take a while but it will pass nonetheless 

Damnit Fanny

Ohai,

Thanks for your support guys, the ninja vibes totally help!

Crippie had her pain management appointment today, and I honestly didn't know what my doctor would say or do. Crippie specifically told the doctor that my current course of treatment helps most of my pain except for my hip. I showed her my x-rays and she examined my hips, legs, and Fanny. The doctor's verdict iiiiiissssssssssssssssssss...
1) Fanny is pressing on my sciatic nerve.
2) Tumors in my hips are making the muscles in my legs contract, Crippie cannot straighten her leg
The Remedy - Neurontin for the nerve problems and stretches for the muscle problems

Crippie was totally not expecting those diagnoses, but they make a lot of sense. At first Crippie didn't believe the first diagnoses of sciatic nerve issues because my prior experience with nerve pain was a little different to say the least. I'm used to RSD to nerve pain... which is probably the worst pain I'll ever experience. The pain in my hips is more of a dull ache. It turns out the sciatic nerve pain can be a dull ache... who knew! Crippie was also very surprised about the whole muscle thing. I guess I never noticed that my leg doesn't straighten or that my muscles are tight. If anyone is wondering how I couldn't notice that... it's my normal. I'm used to it. I don't know what normal functioning legs feel like.

Crippie is so thankful that my doctor actually gives a crap about my quality of life. She is verrrrrryyyyy cautious about my meds because she knows I'm gonna be on them for the rest of my life. She cares about the quality of my future life, this muscle thing could turn into a huge problem in 10-20 years. Yet she realizes that I am in pain now and that I have to be treated now. It's unfortunate that I don't hear about doctors like her often.

BTW, if anyone was wondering how Crippie deals with news like this... Crippie is usually happy to get explanations and answers, even if it is potentially bad news. Today's appointment pretty much confirmed that my disease is progressing and that I am getting worse. I accepted the fact that my condition would progress long ago, so now I try to focus on what Crippie can do about it. Crippie is going to schedule an appointment with her orthopedist within the next few weeks and we'll take it from there.

Crippie's Tippie for Doctors - CARE ABOUT YOUR PATIENTS!!!