My Dog Is A Psychic Now

Ohai!

As the title suggests, something very interesting happened tonight.

As most of y'all know, I have a blind dog named Helen. She barks whenever she hears noises that displease her. These noises can vary from knock on the door, people shouting, The Jersey Shore, Angel, strangers, the sound of a door opening etc. Helen also sleeps in my bed with me, she likes my pillows and she also takes pride in defending me from serial killers every night.

Anyways, tonight I heard noises which I thought where just my house settling, cause ya know, houses do that. Helen was NOT fond of these noises. Even though she was sleeping she would let out a little *grumble grumble* whenever she heard one. At first I would tell her "Helen, it's the house settling". The settling sounds continue sporadically for another hour or so. Each time Helen grumbles. These sounds were pretty damn faint. I kept looking at Helen like "Everyone else in the house is sleeping! What is wrong with you child?". Eventually these sounds got more and more frequent, and Helen was getting pissed at me. I'm still thinking Helen is an idiot until I hear a massive CRASH! I have bookshelves mounted to my wall. One fell down. Some rather heavy books came crashing down with it. I turned on my light to check out the damage, and even though Helen is blind I swear she was looking at me like "BITCH I TOLD YOU THAT WOULD HAPPEN!". Luckily no harm or damage was done. I guess my books were a little heavy.

Helen wouldn't stop judging me until I have her some treats. After she nommed on a few dog cookies, her smug little ass went back to bed. I'm now convinced that this little squirt is smarter than she looks.

I saved your life. YOU'RE WELCOME!  

BELLY RUBS OF GRATITUDE PLEASE! 

Crippie's Tippie - Don't put heavy books on wall mounted shelves

Helen's Tippie - LISTEN WHEN I'M BARKING AT THINGS! 

The Ballad of Helen

Salutations Everybody!

I hope all of my lovely readers had a fabulous weekend, chances are though Helen probably had the best weekend out of all of us. Saturday was the anniversary of Helen joining our family, thus she got spoils.

Helen started her life as a normal lil' Shih Tzu. She adopted by a family with small children and a big dog. For reasons unknown to me, Helen lost her sight when she was young. Allegedly she either whacked a wall reaaaaaaallllllyyyyyyyyyyy hard or fell off a bed. I wouldn't be surprised if an "accident" with the small children or big dog occurred. Either way her retinas wound up becoming detached. Helen was no longer an independent little puppy. She was scared and needed a lot of help finding her way around. Special needs puppies and young families don't quite mix. Helen spent most of her days in a bedroom all by herself. Eventually her family realized that they couldn't take care of her and handed Helen over to a rescue.

Flash forward to us finding out about a blind dog who needs to be held near constantly. After talking it over with the woman who had rescued Helen we opted to take a chance on the crippled puppy. We had to meet her. Hurricane Irene had just passed through and left the area with a good amount of flooding, but that didn't stop us from driving through it! We were slightly hesitant about adopting a blind dog, mainly because people kept telling us that blind dogs are vicious. As soon as we met Helen we knew she wasn't vicious. She would let anybody pick her up. We did notice that she was rather underweight, we could see her spine and ribcage. We have an excellent track record of plumping up underweight animals so that didn't bother us a bit. We knew she was perfect for our family.

Flash forward again and it's been a year since we made that decision, and we never second-guessed it. Helen blends in with our family perfectly. She gets oodles of love and attention from all of her humans. Angel is a doting big sister, she makes sure Helen stays the hell away from stairs. Helen makes for an excellent security system, she thinks that everyone who enters the house will kill her humans. She also barks at certain people on the TV, mainly anyone from The Jersey Shore.

We celebrated her anniversary by giving her ALL TIME favorite food... macaroni and cheese (small amount). She got to sit and the table with us and chow down while we sang happy birthday. Her big sister got some pieces of turkey so she was also insanely happy.

So heres to our little Helen Keller, may we have many more anniversaries!

Crippie's Tippie - If you want a pet... ADOPT

Helen's Tippie - Cheese is the bestest food EVER

The Five People You Meet At Dinner

Ohai,

Thanks for all the supportive comments y'all... Crippie can not even begin to tell you how much I appreciate them. From what I'm hearing neurontin is a helluva drug. Crippie is on a two week trial of it to see if it works, if I have a rough time I'll stop taking it. Although I am seeing an upside to the tiredness... if I time my medications right I get sleepy at a decent hour. Maybe my sleep schedule will improve!

Moving on, Crippie found a nifty HAWMC blog prompt. 5 Dinner Guests. Who are 5 people you’d love to have dinner with (living or deceased) and why? Okay, Crippie thought long and hard about this... figured I'd make a "Kick-Ass Cripple Table"

THE KICK-ASS CRIPPLE TABLE

1 - Frida Kahlo - She is my all time favorite artist and she was a kick-ass cripple. FUN FACT: when she had her leg amputated she wore jingle bells around the fake leg to draw attention to it! Also, I think my Frida might enjoy meeting the person who inspired her name.

2 - Helen Keller & Anne Sullivan (I know they're two people, but Anne would need to translate for Helen) - Helen Keller has always inspired me, she was able to do some much in spite of what most would consider extremely limiting disabilities. Also, our Helen would probably enjoy meeting the person who inspired her name. 

3 - Stephen Hawking - Stephen Hawking kicks ass on so many levels. I find his theories about space fascinating. Crippie can't forget the fact that this dude has been living with ALS for DECADES, if that doesn't make you awesome I don't know what does.

4 - King Tut - I would love to have a cane battle with King Tut (he walked with a cane because of serious leg problems)

5 - Michael J. Fox - He's probably one of my biggest inspirations when it comes to staying positive and optimistic. I would seriously love to actually talk to him.

I think that will make for a splendid cripple-filled dinner don't you? What other cripples would you add to this list?

Oh, and as promised, here are pictures of me and Helen to make up for yesterday's post. Helen thought I was a pillow, luckily photobooth was there to capture the hilarity!

Hmm... Auntie Crippie isn't very comfy. I NEED A PLACE TO SLEEP!

This is kinda comfy... but I can do better

Perfect

Crippie's Tippie - Be verrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy careful when taking several heavy duty medications, bad things can happen if you don't follow instructions or time them properly.

Doctor Visits and Blind Puppies

Hello There!

I hope everybody has been enjoying their week. I've been pretty busy working. Thursdays are my days off so I did what any normal 22 year old would do on a day like this, I went to my pain management doctor for my bi-monthly checkup. The check-up went well, no complaints and no med changes, works for me. My doctor got to see my in my full out "it is raining and I can't move" mode and she was quite fascinated by it.
I think that having a nice doctor makes the whole "having to go to the doctor" experience suck a whole lot less. If my physician was a total asshole I would be pretty miserable about having to go. I mean, whenever I have to go to this doctor I have to walk into a building that is filled with sick, elderly people, thus making me feel sick and old. Answering all the initial questions like "how long have you this problem" and "where does it hurt" with answers like "all of my life" and "well... lets just say everything from the neck down hurts" can be very disheartening, especially when the nurse very awkwardly says "oh". Luckily my doctor is awesome, she treats me like a human, a young one at that. We had a dandy conversation about me finding employment and all fun stuff. All the other crap related to doctor's visits I can deal with, lord knows there are people who have far worse experiences. I cannot deal with a crappy doctor, I'd have to be pretty freakin' desperate before I let some jerk take care of me.

On a lighter note, my "niece" Helen is adjusting to life at my house rather nicely. She's getting very good at not smacking into walls. You can hardly tell she is blind sometimes. Naturally Auntie Crippie spoils Helen and gives her lots of treats and belly rubs. I figured you guys would want to behold the cuteness that is Helen, so here are some pictures of us chillin'

Crippie's Tippie- Finding a doctor that treats you like a person versus a patient sometimes makes all the difference in the world.