The L-Word

Howdy Y'all!

First off, I gotta give a shout out to my Jewish readers, have a happy and healthy new year. L'shana tova!

Next, I've got a cripple question from the lovely Rachel from "Fluted Cups & Ampersands". Her post was essentially about being called lazy by a nurse at a doctor's appointment, and Rachel wanted some input from other cripples about the situation. Here's my two cents (and probable cripple rant)

If hypothetically a nurse called me a "cripple", "gimp" or any fun technically offensive word I wouldn't think much of it. I'd probably start laughing hysterically actually. BUT if some nurse had the audacity to call me lazy all hell would break loose. Being called "lazy" is probably the worst thing you could say to a cripple, if not the worst it's in the top 10. Why? Because being lazy implies that you are making a conscious choice that you don't want to do something simply because you don't feel like it. I have chronic pain and fatigue, so when I cannot do something it's not because I don't WANT to something, it's because I CANNOT! Calling a cripple lazy implies that you think they are lying, weak, annoying, etc. It's extraordinarily insensitive and extremely hurtful, especially coming from people who do not know what they're talking about.

What would I have done in this situation? Thankfully I have not been called lazy by a total stranger so I can only use my imagination here. Gauging from the fact that it was a professional setting and probably other people around, I'd probably rip 'em a new asshole... politely of course ;) The conversation would probably go as followed...
Stupid Nurse - *some snarky comment about me being lazy*
Crippie - Excuse me? I... I'm sorry, I didn't catch that. Did you just call me lazy?
Stupid Nurse - *insert another well thought out comment*
Crippie - How many tumors are on your skeleton at this very moment?
Stupid  Nurse - Um... none
Crippie - I have hundreds of tumors all over my body. HUNDREDS. Do you know what that means?
Stupid Nurse - Um... no
Crippie - What a surprise! Well, let me educate the expert here. These tumors cause pain and restrict mobility. Do you know what that means?
Stupid Nurse - Um...
Crippie - I'll take that as a no. This means it physically takes more energy to complete a task. Ok? I am not lazy. I am in an extreme amount of pain, I am extraordinarily tired... and I have to waste more of my energy educating know-it-alls like yourself.

Would I have contacted someone? Yup. Depending on the doctor's office there are surveys you can fill out about your experience. Heck, I might even demand to see someone at that very moment. Why? Because in a professional environment your job is to shut up and be nice to your "customer". In my line of work, if I ever called someone an "idiot" to their face (as tempting as it may be) I'd get fired. It is not appropriate and people need to learn that.

What can be done about it? It's hard to say because I hope these instances are just caused by lone idiots. On the whole "minor" healthcare employees aren't like this. If my orthopedist or my physical therapist said something implying I'm lazy, that would be another story because they know their stuff. What can cripples do about it? Again, it's hard to say because there are those "special snowflakes" out there who validate the opinions of those stupid nurses. All we can do is try to brace ourselves for the idiots. Memorize the spoon theory, come up with a general response. Something.

Now, it's pretty obvious that being called "lazy" strikes a nerve with me. While I've never been called lazy by strangers, people I know (various degrees of closeness) have implied that I'm lazy. For example, the act of grocery shopping is exhausting for me. When I return home I generally go lay down, leaving my able-bodied relatives to put away groceries. That sounds horrible, right? That's because it is. I cannot even begin to describe how guilty I feel that I cannot help. I should be helping them! I want to help, and I do whenever possible or absolutely necessary but it hurts, a whole lot. In college I couldn't do certain household chores, leaving my roommates to do them. That's not fair to them and I know that. I try to compensate by being the sole person to do the chores that I am physically able to do, but still to a degree I am a burden. I hate being a burden. Being called lazy implies that I am willingly making other people's lives difficult. I hate being a burden. I hate not being able to do things. I hate that I am putting a weight on someone else's shoulders. Being called lazy implies that I WANT to be like this, that I enjoy it. I didn't choose this, I don't want people to do things that I should be doing. This is not a "cripple perk" and it's insanely hurtful to think otherwise.

What can EVERYONE, normals and cripples alike do to alleviate the situation? Just try to be empathetic to other people's situations. Understand that you do not know the entire story and you don't know what everyone else on the planet is going through. As for the cripples that, like me, are riddled with guilt that they cannot do everything they should... I accepted long ago that life is not fair and everything will never be as it should. Just try your best to do whatever you can.

Something tells me people might react strongly to this, so please feel free to agree or disagree in the comment section. Am I being overly sensitive? A special snowflake? Spot on? Other?

Crippie's Tippie - DON'T CALL SOMEONE LAZY! 

P.S. - I have a follow up to the Lucy stories. I'll probably post in within the next few days. I was crazy tired and achy this week. Labor day weekend weather sucked beyond all reason and kicked my ass. 

Crippie's Back... Again... AND ANSWERING QUESTIONS!

I'M BACK!!!!! Please don't kill me!

I wish I could explain why I didn't write anything for almost two months... I dunno, I had a wicked case of writers block. Felt like I had nothing new to say. No real update, all was status quo with the animals. Bleh... oh well... I'm swear I'm gonna try to get back into the swing of things here.

Tonight I'm gonna answer some questions from a survey by the freakin' awesome Rachel at "Fluted Cups & Ampersands". If you don't read her blog and or watch her vlogs you should... cause she's full of win.

Alright... let's answer these questions!

1. What's a song that has a lot of meaning for you and why? (You could even post a YouTube video of the song if you want us to jam along with you.)
--- For me it's a tie between Simon & Garfunkel's "Bridge Over Troubled Water" and "Red Rubber Ball" (Yes I know that The Cyrkle recorded it first, but I don't care for their version.) Both give me a feeling of optimism and they reassure me that everything will be ok.

2. The name of my blog, Fluted Cups & Ampersands, contains my favorite words to say. Do you have any favorite words?
--- Weaseal, Strudle, Schadenfreude


3. Make up an acronym for anything in your world. (Example: FAQ)
--- PPOM: Pig Peed on Me


4. If your life had a theme song, what would it be? 
--- Up On Cripple Creek probably


5. What are THREE of the most awesome things about ME? (See, NOW I'm fishing for compliments. And if you only know me from my blog, then just go by what you know about me from the blog. Easy like Sunday morning.)
--- 1) You're freaking funny 2) You're honest and blunt when you need to be honest and blunt 3) We share the hatred of birds while liking the general idea of them (seriously, they freak me out. Heaven help me if I come across a dead one)

6. On crowd funding websites like IndieGoGo where people raise money, there are often incentives that the creator gives for the amount you invest. Most are light hearted and personal, like a personal thank you card. Other examples: If you invest $10, you'll get an advanced copy of this film or cd or book chapter. If you donate $50, you get a personal phone call and my first born child. So here's my question - in all seriousness, what would be some incentives that you would go for? Your cup of tea, incentive style. (Even if you don't answer the rest of the questions, you'd be doing me a HUGE favor just by answering this one...in a comment, email, Facebook, whatever. ANYONE can answer. Please? Huge favor to me. I'm winking and smiling at all you internet people...you just can't see it. But I'm being very sly.)
--- I'd probably go for something like a t-shirt, I lurv me some t-shirts. Fun fact: I once gave blood just to get a free t-shirt... and to help people... kinda

7. What are FOUR of the most awesome things about YOU?
--- I'm getting pretty awesome at nail art, I'm a guinea pig whisperer, I'm so sarcastic that people call me Daria, I'm really awesome at Simpsons trivia and Disney movie trivia.


8. Write a short lil poem. As short as you'd like.
--- There once was a girl named Crippie, who while walking took a slippie. She fell on her ass, while others did pass, yet on her face there was a grinnie (yes that rhyme sucks, but I'm taking creative liberties here)


9.Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
--- Hopefully have a job as an awesome graphic designer, living in a fabulous little apartment or condo somewhere, and hopefully I'll have some company there, whether it be human or animal ;)


10. Write a joke or a pun about anything. But YOU (or the people around you, if you're near people) have to come up with it. No Google-ing.
--- My dog Helen is blind, yet she barks at minorities. Weird right, I guess she's a not-see. 


11. We're halfway through the year. Make at least one half-year resolution.
--- STOP SUCKING AT BLOGGING. OH MY GOD SERIOUSLY.

YAY! I did it. Okay, now it's MY turn to come up with 11 questions. If anyone wants to answer 'em go for it! 

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1 - Would you rather fight 1 duck sized horse or 100 duck sized horses?

2 - How'd you come up with the name of your blog?

3 - Are there any quotes or phrases that inspire you?

4 - Are there any YouTube videos that are so funny that they'll cheer you up regardless of what mood you're in?

5 - Guinea Pigs: Do you like them or do you love them?

6 - Would you rather travel back in time or forward in time?

7 - What is the weirdest talent you possess? 

8 - What song is stuck in your head right now? MAHNA MAHNA!!! 

9 - How do you decide what parts of your life to share on your blog?

10 - What is the air-speed velocity of an of unladen swallow?

11 - In the world of blogging what would you like to see more of? Less of?

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If anybody answers these questions, comment with a link to your blog and I'll totally check it out! 

I really am gonna try to get back to blogging regularly. I missed it. I missed y'all the most <3

Crippie's Tippie - Seriously, check out Rachel's blog... I mean it