Sunday, August 14, 2011


Hi Guys!

The last couple of days have been very busy. While the great job hunt rages on, the great freelance hunt is going rather well *KNOCKS ON MANY PIECES OF WOOD* so I'm pretty confident that sooner or later I will find a job.

In the meantime the question of that day comes of a bunch of small children whom I was working with today "Why are you walking with a cane?" The question of how do I explain my disability to strangers is actually pretty easy to answer.

First off, I really don't mind when strangers ask what is wrong with me. While it's not exactly their business to know I figure I might as well educate people when given the opportunity. But I have developed a system for answering this question, so without further adieu I give you... HOW CRIPPIE ANSWERS THE "Y U A CRIPPLE" QUESTION

1) If a child asks- Kids don't need to know why I use a cane nor will they understand. I just say "I hurt my leg" if the child is reallllllyyyyy young I say "I have a bad boo-boo on my leg"

2) If a wise-ass child/teenager asks- These people are being rude, I reply with a snarky comment like "Shark attack" or "I'm just too damn awesome to walk" occasionally I will say "Dick Cheney shot me"

3) If someone I sorta know asks me- They know me well enough to get a real reason, I say I have a genetic disorder

4) When a friend asks me- There's no reason for me to hide information from them, thus they get the whole shabang

5) When some elderly person who I have never seen before comes up to me in the grocery store and asks what's wrong with me (which has happened a little too frequently)- They are generally curious to see if I am more crippled than they are, I say "I have a bad hip" and then if all goes well said elderly person and I will discuss how much having arthritis sucks.

So that is the basic breakdown of what I say to whom, but basically if you are nice to me when you are asking, you will get a nice answer. If you are being a dick I will troll you right back!

I've been volunteering at a theatre camp for the past month (hence where the kids came from), in honor of the ending of the summer theatre camp I've made a playlist of my favorite broadway showtunes! I put the one's with swears first so if you don't want to listen to swears skip the first 5 songs... enjoy!

Crippie's Tippie- Don't be mad a cripples who tell you crazy stories of how they became cripples, it's just our ways of messing with normals

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