GET BACK TO WORK

Hello Friends!

I hope y'all had dandy weekends. It was the last few days of my "vacation" so I got to enjoy it. My sister's birthday was on Friday so we went out for an awesome dinner with some relatives on Sunday. If any of my local readers of heard of a place called "Texas Roadhouse" I HIGHLY recommend it. The steaks were freaking amazing.

Moving on, today was my first day back at work! YAY ME! Now that I'm getting back into the swing of things I'm really starting to realize how much of a raging bitch Fanny was. I was in ZERO pain driving to work. I didn't even know that driving hurt before. But now that Fanny is gone driving felt so... normal. Definitely motivates me to drive more often. I opted not to use my crutch when I got to work. Figured the exercise would be good and walking is easier now. It was great to see all of my coworkers and I had a little "welcome back" sign on my desk. I jumped back into work and I found it slightly easier to focus. My scar would sometimes hurt for a second, but it wasn't bad and it quickly passed. I'm really happy to be back at work, reckon I'm one of those people that actually enjoys working.

Even though I was on a modified schedule today, I was tired when I got home. I pretty much just ate and watched several episodes of "Breaking Amish" on my computer. I don't care if it's probably highly fabricated... it's interesting AND ADDICTIVE!

I guess that's all for tonight folks. Tomorrow marks three weeks since my surgery. Guess I'll have to celebrate by posting cute animal pics.

Crippie's Tippie - Modified schedules are a beautiful thing.

Summary of a Surgery

Yo!

I can't believe it's been almost three weeks since Fanny's removal. My little "vacation" is almost over and I go back to work on Monday. While having a little break from work was nice, I'm rather looking forward to getting back to being a productive member of society again.

Today I figured I'd break down how my surgery and recovery went and how I improved as the days progressed...

Day of Surgery - At first I was going to say something about how little pain I was in, but then I tried to think about that day and I realized I do not remember much about it. I remember getting up to go to the bathroom, being in my car going home, walking up some of my stairs, and thats about it. I guess I was stoned off my ass. Honestly I'm surprised I was able to compose a blog post that day without mentioning unicorns or penguins. 

The Next 72 Hours - Again, I don't exactly remember everything. The incision area was slightly sore, but it wasn't bad at all. I had to be intubated during surgery so my throat was rather sore and I had a cough. Eventually it got to a point where my ribs and stomach muscles hurt from coughing. Overall it wasn't bad though, I was able to sit, stand, and walk with crutches. I was able to paint my nails the day after surgery ;)

The Next Few Days - The one problem with having the anti-nausea patch is that you don't throw up all the crap in your system, so it takes longer for everything to leave your system. There were are a few days when I felt verrrryyyyy heavy-headed. Bread would help for a little while but it would keep coming back. One day I felt even worse than usual, turns out I was running a 100.1 fever. Once the fever burned off I started feeling better (and blogging again). 

One Week - The surgery site was a teensy bit sore, but again nothing terrible. I started walking around my house sans crutches and I would only use one crutch when going out. 

10 Days Post Op - The staples came out and my incision was exposed and allowed to breathe! Me thinks at least a few parts of it are gonna keloid and I might end up with a good ol "Railroad track" scar from the staples themselves, but it's hard to tell.

11 Days Post Op - My incision does not like feeling exposed. It's in an awkward area and it does not like it when I move. I thought I felt it ripping a few times. Some bandaids were places on the scar to keep that skin from moving.

The Rest of that Damn Week - Holy crap my scar hurt. Now I feel closer to Harry Potter. Whenever I got up from either laying down or sitting my scar would hurt like a mofo. Without a doubt this was the most painful part of my surgery. I opted to relax for a few days and let my scar heal. The pain started to decrease with each passing day. 

Now - My scar almost feels back to normal. I hold it sometimes when I get up, but whatever pain I do have from it is very bearable. I can walk without my crutches, and without much of a limp. I'll probably be using my crutch outside of my home for a little while longer. 

All in all I am sooooooooooooooo pleased with how everything turned out. I was bracing for massive mobility restrictions and I lot of pain. Thank goodness it wound up being the total opposite. Even though there were some minor bumps in the recovery road, it was still really freaking easy.

Crippie's Tippie - Sometimes it's good to prepare for the worst. You're prepared in the event that it hits the fan, and you are extraordinarily happy when things go well. It's a win/win.

Echo Echo Echhhhhoooooooo

Helllloooooooooooooooooooooo

I hope all my readers had a wonderful Wednesday. My day was relatively eventful. I went to get an echocardiogram today.

As some of you might remember, my heart rate gets a little fast after surgeries, and my GP noticed that my heart rate was high during my pre-op. So he ordered me to get an echocardiogram to see if there is something wrong with my heart. Well, today I went to the hospital for said echo. I wasn't nervous or anything about the test, I really doubt that there is anything wrong with my heart. The echocardiogram itself was relatively easy and I got to see some super neat images of my heart. It kinda hurt sometimes when the technician was pressing on some of my rib tumors, but other than it was a breeze. While I don't have any official results of the test, my super awesome technician told me that even though my heart rate is on the high side, it's still within the normal range. Also, there is nothing physically wrong with my heart. YAY CRIPPIE'S HEART! I still need to have some blood work done to rule out thyroid issues, but I consider this a small victory. (Just so y'all know, I'm singing "I AM THE CHAMPIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON" to myself while I'm writing this). 

In other news my incision is continuing to heal up. It still hurts if I get up from a sitting position, but the pain fades with each passing day. I'm also starting to regain some feeling in the surgery site. I couldn't feel parts of my lower spine and side for about a week or so. Now I can feel my spine and my hip bone. That means I can feel my hip sans Fanny. Let me tell y'all, it is the best feeling ever. The best way to describe the feeling is comfortable. I'm just laying down blogging and my hip doesn't hurt. No pressure, no massive tumor irritating a muscle, NOTHING. It's moments like this that make me realize how much pain Fanny caused me. My hip doesn't feel completely normal by any means, the tumors inside of it still bother me, but it feels like a massive weight has been removed. This feeling of relief is fan-freaking-tastic!

I've for a busy day ahead of me tomorrow, I've got an appointment with my pain doctor and a buncha errands to run. I should probably get my comfortable tumor-free ass to sleep. PEACE!

Crippie's Tippie - Be nice to the technicians performing tests on you, they might be able to tell you results before the doctors do ;)

Sweet Charity

BROADWAY TITLE, YUS!

I hope all of my fellow crippled comrades had a splendid weekend. Mine was purdy damn awesome. As I've mentioned maaaaannnnnnyyyyy times throughout the past couple of weeks, my BFF and I are hosting a Scentsy Party benefitting the MHE Coalition, and on Saturday we had an open house/party for it. I was a social creature and had a blast with my friends and family. The open house was a huuuugggggeeeeeeeeeee success. I want to thank everyone who has contributed to the fundraiser thus far, and I want to give a special shout out to my BFF who is donating her commission for the cause. YOU GUYS ARE SO FLIPPIN' AWESOME, LOVE Y'ALL!

I can't believe how much I actually did this weekend, apart from the whole being social thing. I walked up and down the stairs a buncha times, stood for rather long periods, did lots of bending and moving in general. Not bad for less than two weeks post-op! I also can't believe how active I was considering how much my damn incision has been hurting. Seriously, this has probably been the most painful part of my damn surgery. Ya see, now that bandages and staples are off, my incision is free to tighten and heal naturally. This is usually uncomfortable, but the tightening paired with fact that the skin around incision moves whenever I do makes for a rather painful feeling. It kinda feels like my skin rips whenever I get up. Of course its not actually ripping, but it feels like it. I'm probably gonna cover the scar with bandaids tomorrow to help everything stay in place. I reckon I should also try to not move whenever possible and let my incision heal. Regardless of how much my damn scar hurt, this weekend was awesome and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Scentsy Buddies!

The Scentsy MHE Fundraiser will continue online through November 3rd. If any of y'all want to do some holiday shopping for a good cause you should check it out. Also, sorry if I'm annoying people by constantly talking about the it, I swear I won't talk about it as much now.

Crippie's Tippie - Scensty Parties are surprisingly fun and entertaining

Staples: That Was Easy

Oh Hello!

It's kinda amazing how well that slogan summarizes my day. My post-op appointment was today and I finally got those damn staples removed!

I'll admit I was slightly nervous about having the staples taken out, purely because I didn't know what to expect. Was I going to be attacked with a scary looking staple remover? How much was it gonna hurt? All those fun feelings. I had a general idea that today was gonna be on the painful side so I took some stronger pain killers before I left for the doctor. It actually wasn't too bad. The only thing that hurt was when my doctor took off the bandage. Picture removing a giant waterproof bandaid from your lower back to you bum... OUCHIES! Once the bandage was removed I got the chance to see my scar before the staples being removed. My first thought was "HOLY MOLY THAT'S A LOT OF STAPLES". 17 staples to be exact, on my ass. Then the doctor approached me with some creepy looking pliers and I braced myself for the worst. I totally watched him remove the staples, because I walk on the wild side. Much to my shock, it totally didn't hurt. Some of 'em stung a teensy bit, but that's nothing. Before I knew it, the 17 staples were gone and I got to take a real gander and my fancy new scar. It kinda looks like an idiot tried to steal my kidney but was off by several inches. The scar itself looked like it was about 5 inches long, vertical with a slight curve. Part of me thinks its gonna heal keloid but it's waaaaaaaaay to early to tell. I'm kinda tempted to get a flower tattoo using the scar as the stem. Admit, it would be awesomeeeeeeee. Just to freak some of y'all out... here's a picture of some of the staples.

I also gave my doctor the picture of Fanny with the google-y eyes. He got a kick out of it. It's a shame that most people don't draw faces on objects removed from their bodies, a cryin' shame.

I'm feelin' pretty good right now, I was FINALLY able to take a shower and FINALLY get rid of that leftover iodine. My scar feels kinda weird though... it's at that point where when it comes into contact with anything it's like "BAD TOUCH... oh wait... it's my skirt... never mind". Now I feel like I'm almost completely recovered. All I need is a few days to let my scar really heal, and I'm good to go!

Tomorrow is gonna be a super exciting day for Crippie, I'm hosting my Scentsy Open House Fundraiser. If any of my local readers wanna stop by, just message me for details! Maybe I'll see some of you guys there!

Crippie's Tippie - Check out my Scentsy Fundraiser y'all! 

Out And About

Aloha!

I sincerely hope that none of my readers had a case of the Mondays today. My Monday was certainly not dreary.

Let's start off by saying that I've pretty much been in my room for a week. I was starting to feel a little bit like this...

But today I was finally well enough to get out of the house! YAY CRIPPIE! I ventured out and ran some errands with my mom. We obtained a new heat pack to replace my beloved NPH. I have decided to name this one Daniel Radcliffe, because... well... he's yummy. The journey to get the heat pack was a rather small one and I was kinda sore afterwards, but our next destination was to get food for the pets and the thought of seeing some piggies perked me up. So off to the pet store we went. Oh my lawd did they have some cuties! I finally got to see a texel (curly haired pig) in the fur. Holy crap was it adorable!

It was hard to get a good shot of it because of the cage, but you can see the walking wig. It's also hard to tell in this photo but this piggie is being stored in an insanely small cage with horrible bedding, no hay, and crap pellets. My local petsmart treats their pigs better than this (THATS SAYING SOMETHING)! It's disgusting, utterly disgusting. I'm tempted to go back one day and tell the owner to use some damn carefresh at least. On the bright side, all of the pigs are in separate cages so at least there won't be any accidental babies. If any of my local readers go to this local pet shop (email me if you want to be sure of which one) mention to the owner that the pigs, rats, hamsters, bunnies, gerbils, etc need better bedding. This my friends is why I strongly advise against buying a pet from a pet store.

Apart from that general anger towards the pet store, my outing was very successful. I got a heat pack and the dogs got some food (I don't buy products for the piggies there, because, well, they suck), I got to see some insanely cute pigs, not to mention I was not in my bedroom for the entire day. It's funny, to a lot of people this day could have been ordinary, even lackluster. But for me it was pretty exciting. Even if I wasn't recovering from surgery a venture to the pet store would have made for a fun day. Me thinks this could mean something negative about my life, but I'm gonna take this as I good thing (SHOCKER). I see the good in the mundane (and potentially negative) aspects of life. I figure this is the life I've got... so I might as well enjoy it.

Crippie's Tippie - Don't let negative situations overtake the positive ones

Such A Card!

Ohaiiiiiiiii

Glad to see that you guys enjoyed Fanny's picture as much as I did. As soon as I saw it I thought "LOL MY TUMOR LOOKS LIKE AN ANIMAL".

I'm definitely starting to feel better. I was able to move around a little easier, which is good because I was starting to get a little stir crazy just being in my room for the past few days. Tomorrow I'm going to run some errands with my mom, I cannot even begin to tell you guys how much I am looking forward to getting dressed and getting the hell out of the house. I also started eating normal things today. My tummy did not like that... but that was probably a blessing in disguise if you catch my drift.

On a sad note, my heat pack NPH died today. It just stopped working all of the sudden, I don't know what happened! I wanted to memorialize it on twitter but I had a feeling #RIPNPH wouldn't go over well. Definitely do not want to be responsible for killing Neil Patrick Harris via twitter! Maybe I'll obtain a new one tomorrow.

Today I wanted to share with y'all one of my totally awesome get well cards! This one comes from my friend who is so generously hosting a Scentsy Fundraiser at my house on Saturday! Gotta love friends with a twisted sense of humor :D

             

Ain't that a purdy card? This card is awesome for several reasons. First, it's really pretty and I appreciate the good design. Second, RIP Fanny... claaasssssiiiiiiccccc. Third, IT SMELLS LIKE FABRIC SOFTENER! It's a totally unique "Sincerely Scent" card from Scentsy! From a graphic designer's perspective these things are amazing. They're customizable, original, and fabulousssssssssssss! You can learn more about them HERE! 

Crippie's Tippie - Don't kill celebrities on twitter, and spread the word about my Scentsy Fundraiser! 

Bye Bye Fanny!

Yo!

It's Crippie in the flesh, tellin' y'all that my surgery was successful. Fanny the Ass tumor has been removed and I was home by four! I can put some weight on my leg so moving around and getting up the stairs was a breeze. As far as the pain goes, on a scale of 1-10 I'd probably say I'm a 2. It feels so weird not having a massive tumor on my butt!

As far as the nerves went, I did get the shakes while I was in the hospital and I threw up just as they were wheeling me into the OR. While that wasn't particularly fun it was better than surgeries prior. I was promised super happy fun drugs early on, buuuuuutttttt that didn't happen. I had a little "discussion" with some of the nurses on how it makes no sense to give me super happy fun drugs moments before knocking me out. They said I needed to be coherent when discussing things with all the doctors and nurses, boo. I really could have used those happy drugs.

One funny story today... when I was checking in the receptionist was going over my info, the following convo occurred...

Lady - Name?
Me - Nicole
Lady - Birthday?
Me - December 4th
Lady - And Russian is your primary language, right?
Me - 0.o um... noooooooooooooooo
Lady - Good thing I asked, we were gonna set up a Russian translator for you
Me - 0.o
Lady - That explains you lack of accent I guess
Me - Da

Now I have a question for my crippled comrades. My doctor closed the incision with staples, I've never had staples before. Do they hurt, tighten or itch while I'm healing? Are they a bitch to remove?

Well I guess that's it for tonight, I'll try to blog again tomorrow. I also have some pictures of Fanny... maybe I'll post 'em!

Crippie's Tippie - If you know you're gonna get sick, keep a basin by you at ALL times in the hospital 

NOMS!

Ohai Y'all

Hope you guys had a super fantastic Friday! I spent Thursday and today working and further bracing for surgery. Yesterday I started to makeover my crutches (pictures soon) and today I got my disability forms and I formulated my post-op grocery list.

After surgery I'm usually sick to my stomach and I lose my appetite for about 3-4 days. What food I do eat is usually on the bland side. I figured I'd share my list with y'all... maybe it'll be useful to someone

1) Ice Pops - If I need to be intubated during surgery, my throat will hurt like a mofo for a few days. Ice Pops (or Italian Ices) definitely help sooth a sore throat. Unfortunately ice cream is too heavy to do any service here :(

2) Ginger Ale - It has a tiny bit of flavor, and it helps with tummy issues... gotta love it

3) Coca-Cola - NOT PEPSI, Coke syrup helps with nausea

4) Bread & Butter - A classic "my tummy will kill me if I eat, but I have to eat" meal

5) Saltines - The classic "I think I'm gonna hurl I need to eat something" cracker

6) Turkey - When my appetite starts to pick up, Turkey is bland enough to not upset anything

7) Cereal (I like Cheerios) - Great for when you want a little nosh

That's about it there, do you guys have any post-op noms you wanna share?

Fanny will be removed in about 4 days, and I'm still not nervous. It's probably because I've been occupied with work, and said work has been really enjoyable. Keeping busy definitely helps the nerves. I'll be veeerrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyyy busy on Monday so hopefully that'll keep the jitters at bay. If not, Monday night I'll take a handy dandy valium and that should do the trick! I have some potential plans to keep busy this weekend, gonna try and get out of the house for as long as possible... cause I'm pretty much gonna be spending the next 3 weeks at home.

I need to start coming up with things to do while I'm stuck in the house. Can any of you guys recommend and good movies or TV shows to watch? I have just been informed that the best show of the 90's "Dinosaurs" is on Netflix in it's entirety, that should take up a few days ;) The main thing I'll be doing is spreading the word about my Scentsy Fundraiser. If you guys could pretty please spread the word with me it would mean a lot :) You can now grab the button for the fundraiser and put it on your own blogs! (again, if anyone has a charity they want me to promote, hit me up)

A word to my local readers, I will be having a physical scentsy party on September 29th. Email me if y'all would like some info on that!

Well, that's about it for tonight, have a great weekend everybody!

Crippie's Tippie - Never underestimate the power of a glass of ginger ale and some crackers for an upset tummy

Be Preparrrreeeeeeeedddddddddddd

Woot! Lion King reference!

Greetings to all my lovely readers, hope y'all had a swell Saturday. I got in some more polio crutch practice today, it's starting to get easier. My pace is increasing and I don't have to constantly look down to make sure my footing is good. Since this is coming along nicely I kinda need to start figuring out the next challenge... the stairs in my house. Thankfully I have railings on both sides of the steps, I just need to figure out the best way to maneuver myself. It shouldn't be terrriiibblllllyyyy difficult, and I do have a plan B if I can't get up the stairs on my own... essentially someone would have to hold my waist to help distribute my weight and possibly help lift me up the stairs.

Some people have asked me if I prepare this much for all of my surgeries, and why do I prepare this extensively for surgery. Well, first no I don't always prepare for surgeries like this. Mainly because some surgeries haven't required it. A general rule of thumb for me is "If Crippie can't walk... Crippie needs to practice". As to why do I put this much effort into preparations... years of experience have taught me the importance of it. For my first surgery I went to to physical therapist who taught me all the basics of using a walker. We thought that was sufficient. Lol... nope. We couldn't have anticipated all the problems we encountered for the first 72 hours. I was in too much pain to walk, so mom and dad had to find a way to bring me in the house. They both had to carry me. This caused another problem of "WHO IS GONNA OPEN THE DOOR!". Once I was inside we had to figure out how I was gonna get up the stairs. Once everything got settled we had a now legendary problem of "How are we gonna get Crippie to the bathroom". Why is it legendary? Well... I had to use the walker to get to the bathroom (which hurt like a mofo) and I needed helped sitting down, AND my leg needed to be elevated. Let's just say in the midst of all this I wound up being dropped in the toilet.

With each surgery we became better and better knowing what we would need to do and how we needed to do it. Being prepared and being ready for surgery makes the recovery period sooooooooooooooooooooooooo much easier. By anticipating the challenges now, like how am I going to get up from my bed without using my butt muscles, we can take the time to clearly and rationally think about what's needed and what we can do to fix it. In the end this takes away so much stress and anxiety for all parties involved. Of course there will always be unknowns for any surgery, and for those instances we just take it one step and a time and we try not to freak out. Freaking out leads to things like dropping people in toilets ;)

Oh, as promised to make up for my short post yesterday... PICTURES OF ANIMALS!!!

Helen climbing my leg 

Helen looking cute in between climbing my legs (hard to believe she's blind, right?)

Nellie wants food

Mama Pig wants food, also look at them chompers

Frida wants food, and she wants it NOW

Aggie DEMANDS food with an insanely loud WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK

Maggie gives begs for food

(FYI Angel doesn't like having her picture taken, I need to get some good ones of her)

Crippie's Tippie - DOUBLE RAILINGS ALL THE WAY ALONG THE STAIRS! Seriously, everyone should have them. You never know when someone will have trouble walking.