Crippie hopes all her crippled comrades had a lovely Friday. My Friday was pretty uneventful, work, nap, pet, etc. Crippie wanted to share some lovely videos with y'all.
While Crippie was in college I took a class called "Sensation & Perception". It was about how your senses work. One day my teacher showed the class a documentary called "Sound & Fury" about cochlear implants and the controversy that first surrounded them. Cochlear implants are basically kick-ass bionic ears for people who were born deaf and or have very profound hearing loss. These things are amazing, they give people the gift of hearing! Many people have filmed the activation of their cochlear implants and put them on YouTube. Crippie loves watching these things, it's just so incredible to watch someone hear for the first time. I've literally spent hours watching 'em. Here are a few of my favorites...
Aren't these awesome! I love the whole concept of "one minute you can't hear and then all of the sudden you can". Their reactions are priceless... I love how they are all like "This... Is... AWESOME". Gotta also love how they cannot even begin to grasp how much their lives just changed. Adults can receive cochlear implants as well. Naturally, they understand what's going on so their reactions are a little different...
Yeah, these things are awesome. There are people that are opposed to cochlear implants. I can't understand why though. I know that they feel like they destroy deaf culture, but I don't see that. Sign language is a lovely language and it will never go away, it won't matter if there are fewer people that need to use it. Ultimately, being deaf is a disability... if you can treat/cure it... why wouldn't you?
Crippie is curious if any of her readers have any opinions on this issue? Do you think cochlear implants are killing deaf culture/deaf pride?
Crippie's Tippie - Check out the documentary "Sound and Fury" if you get a chance. It's on Netflix!
How are all of my comrades today? Crippie has had a very busy day. Before I go into detail, Helen has been very angry with me and she wants me to make a correction to my last post. Crippie didn't mention that Helen helped me with that little photo shoot of my stuff. Don't believe me? See it for yourself...
Hey, helping Crippie out is hard work. Moving on, Crippie's day was super eventful because I got to see my sister in a local production of "The Pirates or Penzance". It's a hilarious show about special Pirates. For all my local readers, Crippie 110% recommends this show. The actors are amazing, the production is incredible, and it's in a fabulous black-box theatre with a pizza parlor in the lobby! You can't beat that! Seriously y'all... I've had to see my fair share of shows because my sister was in 'em and this is definitely in the upper echelon of shows. I'm probably going to be seeing the show several times this weekend. If any of you guys are in the Newburgh, NY area you should totally come!
Crippie is rather fond of that nickname, do y'all approve?
So, Crippie was browsing her list of "normal" lifestyle blogs for people my age and I noticed that a lot of them make posts about the contents of their pocketbooks. Crippie thought "Well hey, I need to clean out my pocketbook so I might as well post all the goodies I carry with me at all times". Also, apparently Crippie is weird for saying "pocketbook" rather than purse or handbag. I couldn't recall the last time I gave my pocketbook a good clean out so I was very afraid as to what I might find. Shockingly, I found nothing terribly gross and or alive! Even more shockingly, I found several dollars in loose change... YAY CRIPPIE! Anywhoooooo, after the successful clean out Crippie was able to fit all of her essentials into her pocketbook again!
Crippie has the following things in her pocketbook at all times...
(not pictured) Keys & Phone, Ace Bandage, Flash Drive, Bubbles in a plastic severed thumb, Bertie Botts Every Flavored Jelly Beans, Business Cards in a spiffy holder, Glasses Case, Wallet, my swipe key for work in a spiffy case, pill container with collapsing cup, & gum.
If any of you guys are wondering, I have Bubbles in a severed thumb container because they were a door prize at a zombie-themed parade thing in college. I put the bubbles in my pocketbook thinking "Gee, I should keep these here, because you never know when you need bubbles". That was well over a year ago, and I've switched pocketbooks several times. Crippie just feels like every girl needs a severed thumb in her purse.
Apart from the severed thumb, everything for the most part is pretty normal. Crippie uses the ace bandage in the event that a tumor decides to be an asshole and I need to restrict movement in the limb. The pill container with cup comes in supppeeeeerrrrrrrr handy. I cannot tell you guys how many times I've needed to take a pill and there were no cups to be found, especially while traveling. I cannot recommend these things enough. They are small, uber portable, and beyond useful. There ya have it people... Crippie keeps a severed thumb in her pocketbook.
Oh, almost forgot to mention... Crippie now has a way for people to ask me cripple questions! Just go to my tumblr and ask me questions there, beware though... my tumblr is full is weird things and swears.
Crippie's Tippie - Want a Pill Holder/Cup? You can find them HERE.
Did all my crippled comrades have a fabulous weekend? I hope so. Crippie's weekend went rather well. I worked on Saturday, and today was the Tony Awards! Since the Tony Awards were at 8 I needed something to do for the rest of the day. The weather was nice for parts of today so I decided to take Aggie and Maggie outside for some much needed sun and exercise. Aggie is my fattest pig at 1,300 grams (that's heavy for a pig) so Crippie has to help her lose some grams. My goal weight for her is 1,100 - 1,200 grams. I've got to think of ways to increase her activity levels. I thought today's adventure would be a good opportunity for her to burn some calories, but she spent the entire time eating. *sigh* Anywhooo... PHOTO DUMP!
She had all the space in the world but...
WHERE AM I?!?!?!?
Oh, this is edible... cool.
Yin & Yang
Moving on the the highlight of my night... THE TONY AWARDS! Crippie absolutely loved the show, it was very well produced and entertaining! There were no issues with the sound and no one was pelted in the head with scenery... again. NPH was his always brilliant self and I love how they "photobombed" the shots of the crowd as they were about to go to commercial. Crippie's favorite part of the show was the performance from "Once". "Gold" was my favorite song from the movie and I was beyond happy seeing them perform it. I was literally grinning from ear to ear. If you didn't get a chance to see it for yourselves... take a look... IT'S AMAZING!
Now, as some of you might remember, a few weeks ago Crippie made her guesses for the winners. While I wasn't spot on... I did pretty well.
BEST MUSICAL
Crippie guessed "Once"
Crippie was RIGHT!
BEST BOOK OF A MUSICAL
Crippied guessed "Once"
Crippie was RIGHT!
BEST ORIGINAL SCORE
Crippie guessed "Newsies"
Crippie was RIGHT
BEST REVIVAL OF A MUSICAL
Crippie guessed "Porgy & Bess"
Crippie was RIGHT
BEST ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE
Crippie guessed Norm Lewis for "Porgy & Bess"
INCORRECT Steve Kazee won for "Once"
BEST ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE
Crippie guessed Audra McDonald for "Porgy & Bess"
Crippie was RIGHT!
BEST ACTOR IN A FEATURED ROLE
Crippie guessed Michael Cerveris for "Evita"
INCORRECT Michael McGrath won for "Nice Work If You Can Get It"
BEST ACTRESS IN A FEATURED ROLE
Crippie guessed Elizabeth A. Davis for "Once"
INCORRECT Judy Kaye won for "Nice Work If You Can Get It"
Not my greatest guess ever... but not bad. Crippie is thrilled that "Once" practically swept the awards. The other shows were good, don't get me wrong... but "Once" is unique and brilliant. The one thing that pissed me off about tonight was that "Peter and the Star Catcher" practically swept the awards for the play category... YET THEY DIDN'T WIN BEST PLAY! WTF!!! Did any of you guys watch the Tony Awards? What did y'all think?
Crippie's Tippie - If you haven't seen the movie "Once" yet, please do so. It's so adorably wonderful
The Mama Pig Update - She seems to be stable again. She probably had a very minor UTI that we were able to treat by flushing her out. It's become pretty apparent that Mama, Frida, and Nellie are genetically prone to UTIs and bladder issues. Knowing this Crippie has to make a special effort to keep their tushies clean. This involves changing their bedding more frequently, occasionally wiping their butts with a pet wipe, and maybe trimming the fur by their bums. Sure, it's a little more effort, but it's soooooo much easier than taking care of a pig with a massive UTI.
I hope all my crippled comrades are having a lovely week. Crippie's week is going oddly well. First off, Crippie managed to redesign the blog (one of my new year's resolution)! It's not completely done yet, but I figured out how to make a custom navigation bar and remove some parts of the HTML/CSS coding that I didn't like in the original theme! YAY ME! If anyone is wondering how I did this, Crippie has a very basic knowledge of HTML and CSS, and what I didn't know I looked up and occasionally just googled "how do I make a custom navigation bar on blogger" or "How do I get rid of the white panels in my blogger theme". Crippie used Adobe Illustrator to make her new header and menu, I lurv me some Adobe Illustrator. Overall the whole process was much less daunting than I thought it would be. Crippie thought she was gonna crash the blog or something, soooooo happy I didn't break this thing.
On Thursday I went to my bi-monthly pain management appointment. It went very well and we bowed down to my doctor for guessing the whole sciatica thing before anyone else. She recommended that I do exercises to keep my sciatica at bay for the time being. My doctor also told me how much full blown sciatica sucks, so that reaffirmed my decision to remove Fanny.
Speaking of Fanny, today I decided to tell my boss that I will need 2-3 weeks off of work to have surgery. Crippie's opted to be very upfront with her. I told her that I have a genetic disorder that causes bone tumors to grow on my bones, that I have a tumor the size of a grapefruit on the back of my hip, and that I need to have it removed. My boss was super nice and supportive about the whole thing. I did stress that the surgery doesn't have to be done immediately so I can wait for a slow period in work. She said that if that doesn't work, she can just hire a temp for 2 weeks, no big deal. Soooooooooo relieved. I was nervous as to how my boss would react to me telling her what was wrong with me, her only question for me was "Are you in pain?". It was kinda adorable actually. It's good to know that my boss actually cares. Now Crippie has to try to schedule her surgery, that'll be interesting to say the least.
Crippie's Tippie - If your boss/doctor/superior/whatever doesn't care about your general well being... they suck
Crippie is in the process of redesigning the blog, it's now in it's awkward teen phase. If I don't mess anything up everything should be back to normal tomorrow. So please be patient and bear with my funny lookin' blog for a little while. Thanks!
At long last, I can complete the "How I Met Your Mother" joke! But first...
The Mama Pig Update - Mama started stabilizing again last night once I began flushing her. She stopped peeing blood again and is acting like nothing ever happened. I'm gonna keep flushing her for the next few days just to make sure it's all gone.
Now... for the MRI results... drum pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee *dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum*
Fanny is pressing on a muscle and my sciatic nerve. That being said, my doctor doesn't think Fanny is a threat to my overall well being and it is completely up to Crippie whether or not I want to remove her. I WANT TO REMOVE HER... she really hurts! Since Fanny is totally NOT CANCEROUS I can wait for a convenient time to remove her. Maybe in the fall... we'll see. As for the pelvic issue, my doctor couldn't find anything in the MRI that would be causing those issues. So, his original guess that my lack of "junk in the trunk" mixed with a lot of sitting has caused my pain is probably the case. The MRI also picked up some other little tidbits and tumors, but nothing of use. So overall Crippie is a relatively healthly 23-year-old with bone condition and a massive tumor on the back of her hip... apart from those things... all is well! Crippie is soooooooooooo pleased with her MRI results, I really couldn't have asked for anything better... so thanks for all the ninja vibes guys... THEY TOTALLY WORKED!
Crippie feels sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo relieved that there is no urgency to get rid of Fanny. I've lived with her pain for years, I can wait for a convenient time. Speaking of which... next step will be telling my boss that I need to take 2.5 weeks off work to have surgery. At least I can wait for a really slow period in the work schedule. Any tippies for telling a boss that you need surgery?
Crippie's Tippie - Look on the bright side... I could be pissed about how I'm gonna need surgery to fix my hip problem, but I'm just happy that my hip problem can be fixed!
The Mama Pig Update - Annnnnnnnnnnddd we're back to square one. I returned home from work today to find blood in the trio's cage. After inspecting all the pigs I discovered that it was Mama Pig. After watching her for a little bit I came to the conclusion that she has another UTI. *Sigh* We're gonna attempt to flush out the infection. Crippie has been giving Mama Pig about 2 cc's of water every 3 hours or so. I'm also giving her the chinese herb Shilintong, which should act as an anti-inflamitory. If she doesn't get better we'll take her to a vet. Mama Pig probably is genetically predisposed to bladder issues. She passed this trait on to Nellie, Frida, and Emma. So they will all periodically get UTI's. So yeaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh, Mama Pig requests ninja healing vibes. She's ever so tired of being sick.
Moving on to MRI news, my doctor has reviewed my film and he will let us know what's going on tomorrow. While this is kinda annoying that he couldn't have just called us with the results, this is ultimately a good thing. If my ortho was concerned about a tumor being cancerous he would have called us today. He also said that I don't need a second MRI... YAY CRIPPIE!!! This also means that my ortho could clearly see my pelvis in my first MRI and that he should hopefully know why I was having problems sitting! Crippie is super curious to find out what's going on with that. The whole sitting issue has improved quite a bit with my total pillow buddy. I now only use that at work, cause that's where I sit the longest. Crippie eagerly awaits these results. Thanks for keeping your fingers crossed guys, it's been working thus far!
Since I'm pretty sure that Fanny will be removed Crippie can't help but think of funny things to do with the tumor. I know I want a photograph on Fanny once she's out, but Crippie thinks it would be rather amusing to keep her in a jar. Crippie could glue google-y eyes on it! It would be like "my pet rock"... ONLY MORE AWESOME! If y'all think that this is just bizarre and creepy, this is just how Crippie eases herself into situations like this. I have to laugh about how I'll have a huge scar on my ass... and knowing my luck it will keloid. It will be like cripple tramp stamp! I can also picture the recovery process like the hospital scene from Forrest Gump... lying on my tummy eating ice cream.
Again, might seem weird that Crippie thinks like this, but finding the humor in situations like this makes them soooooooooooooooooooooooo much more bearable.
Crippie's Tippie - Humor is the greatest medicine. If you don't laugh about something, you'll cry
The Mama Pig Update - The patient has stabilized! Mama Pig no longer needs to be monitored every night or every other night. She will now be monitored on a "oohhh there's something good on TV that Mama Pig will enjoy basis". In other words, she does not need to be monitored anymore. We'll just keep ours eyes on her when we take her out for snuggles. Mama Pig's last monitoring was Saturday. She and I watched my other favorite reality show other than "16 and Pregnant/Teen Mom" which is "Oddities". Mama Pig was enthralled with show, not to mention some special blueberry treats. Mama Pig pooped up a storm all within a relatively short amount of time! Mama Pig has gotten her groove back! YAY MAMA PIG!
I'm glad that Mama Pig and I have similar tastes in reality TV, because most of the people in my house don't enjoy these shows as much I do. BTW, if any of you guys have the Science Channel and a strong stomach, Crippie totally recommends "Oddities" its about an antique shop in NYC that sells freaky, creepy stuff. Crippie enjoys it because there is no other show on TV where you hear things like "I'm looking for a mummified head please" or "Actually this is a necklace made out of gallstones". It's just bizarre and I love it. Crippie told her mom that when Fanny is removed I want to keep it, polish it, and turn it into a necklace. The look on her face was priceless!
Speaking of Fanny... still waiting for my results, my doctor should get the images tomorrow. Let's keep our fingers crossed for "good enough" news. Crippie realllyyyyyy wants to know what her doctor thinks cause Fanny is being a literal pain in the ass. All the recent weather changes have cause a bit of a Fanny flare up. It now hurts whenever I move my hip to get up, sit down, etc. It's the weirdest thing, it's like I can feel Fanny rubbing against something (probs a muscle)... not a comfortable feeling at all.
Crippie thinks that her dogs have sensed that I've been in a lot of pain because they keep wanting to hang out with me. Angel is usually a very private dog, but all of the sudden she wants chill in my room with me. She's even been sleeping in my room. Angel has her own (very comfy) bed in my parent's room, yet, she's been choosing to sleep on my carpet. And Helen usually sleeps on her (very comfy) bed in my sister's room. For the past couple of nights she's been getting restless, wandering the halls at night, and crying until she is placed in my bed for a sleepover. Once here, she finds "her" throw pillow and sleeps on my bed. Helen was even browsing reddit with me ;) It's good to know that these little furballs are looking out for Crippie.
Completely random, but Crippie has discovered that she has a hidden talent. Apparently I can bark like a dog... really well. Crippie found out this gem of while I had Helen out in the yard, I was playing with her by barking like a dog. All of the sudden I hear all of my neighbor's dog's barking at me! Reckon my dog bark is pretty convincing :D I tried my "amazing" dog bark with Angel, she gave me a look that probably meant "Are you on drugs or something?" Crippie now feels the need to prove to Angel that my dog bark is convincing.
Crippie's Tippie - Moist heat is God's gift to cripples
The Mama Pig Update - Mama appears to be stable. She's returned to her perky old self. She eats, drinks, roams about the cage as usual. Crippie will continue to monitor her on occasion. I'll also be keeping my eyes on the whole "losing her hair thing" if it was related to the whole tummy thing the hair will grow back in a week or so. If not, I'll have to look into ovarian cyst treatments. I hear there are hormone injections that treat the problem so I wouldn't have to worry about spaying her.
On to the MRI! Crippie sent her doctor the MRI images today. He should receive them by Monday. Hopefully I'll get some results by Wednesday. While the MRI images were in my possession I tried to look at them and see if I could spot the problem. Alas, I cannot read MRIs in the same way I read X-Rays. One thing I could tell from the images is that fanny is freakin' huge! From what I could see, I saw a normalish looking hip and then BAM.... MASSIVE TUMOR STICKING OUT OF IT!!! My guess is that the MRI will show that Fanny is freakishly large and is pressing against something. Crippie's gut reaction is that I will be needing surgery to remove Fanny. This doesn't worry me in the slightest. Crippie will just have to find a good time to take two weeks off of work, remove Fanny, and be done with it. Would any of my lovely readers have any tips on telling their boss that they need to have surgery?
One thing Crippie is slightly anxious about is the possibility that Fanny transformed into a cancerous tumor. Her rapid growth, super fun size, and the fact that she causes pain do point to that possibility. If *knock on wood* Fanny turns out to be a super fun cancer tumor Crippie will need to remove it as soon as humanly possible. While I could deal with that, I hope that's not the case. On the bright side I didn't get any calls from the radiologist saying "get your ass to an oncologist ASAP". If it was blatantly obvious that Fanny was a super fun cancer tumor, someone would have told me. Let's keep our fingers crossed that Fanny is nothing more than a special high risk tumor.
In random Guinea Pig news... yesterday Crippie went to the pet store to obtain dog food and I went to look at their piggies. Most of them were super happy energetic babies, but there was one who was looked really sad. The poor little guy has been there for months and is now "on sale" for 5 dollars. I went to take a closer look as to why he was so sad and I quickly realized why. Poor baby had some form of eye injury or infection. I couldn't tell if the eye in question had been removed all ready or not but I don't think he'll be able to see from it again... and if that eye hasn't been removed it probably needs to be. Crippie cannot afford the vet bills for this special guy, otherwise I would have scooped him right up. Seriously, you could be looking at over $1,000 for the vet bills. So if any of my local readers are looking for a male pig and can afford to take care of this one... please take him. He's a beautiful pig, he looks like Maggie with a white beard. I'm sure that with love and treats he'll be a sweet little boy. Crippie thinks that you can probably convince the store's owner to give him to you for free, since it's probably their fault that he lost his eye. Feel free to contact Crippie if you have any questions.
Crippie's Tippie - Learn to read MRI's... saves you soooooooooooooo much anxiety
