NHBPM - I Should Probably Do That...

Yo!

This is just not my year for NHPBM, I reckon missing the first 10 days kinda threw me off. Oh well. Did y'all have a lovely couple of days? I've been oddly busy and thus insanely tired. Today I had a lunch-in with my co-workers. While everyone was showing pictures of their children I whipped out my pictures of Frida dressed as a bumble bee. Needless to say she was a hit. I had a blast with my co-workers and I ate some delicious noms. Successful day was successful. I'm super tired but first... I MUST BLOG!!!

Tonight's NHPBM prompt is... If I could accomplish one thing in 2013 it would be...

Ok, first of all... am I the only one who cannot believe it's almost 2013? Now, if I could accomplish one thing in this rapidly approaching year it would be conquering my driving anxieties. As much as I hate to admit it, it's terribly limiting. I can only drive to a few select places by myself, and a few other places with someone else in the car. Otherwise I have a horrible feeling of being lost and not knowing what to do. Which lane do I go in? Did I miss a turn? What if a miss a turn? What if the GPS takes me on highway? What if I get lost, have a panic attack, and crash my car? Yeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh, these feelings suck and they need to stop. Baby steps I guess. I'll start driving to random places with someone in the car. Then I'll drive to more random places with just my GPS. Mayybbbeeeee I'll hire a driving instructor for a day for highway practice (you don't wanna screw up highway practice). I guess I just have to think about all the awesome freedom and independence that comes from being able to drive where ever my little heart desires. One good thing about driving anxiety... by hardly driving anywhere I save soooooooooo much money on gas. I was able to get through the whole Hurricane Sandy mess without waiting in a gas line :3

So my fellow crippled comrades, any tips for overcoming anxiety for me?

Crippie's Tippie - When in doubt... baby step your situation out

NHBPM - Crippie Interviews Some Tumors

Ohai Y'all

Man, I suck at the NHBPM thing this year. In my defense, it's probably for the best that I didn't follow yesterday's prompt. It was hella depressing "What do you hope happens to you blog after you die?" REALLY?!?!?

Lucky for us today's prompt is MUCH more entertaining, and not as morbid. Interview your health. Ok, here goes nothing...

Crippie - Hey everybody! Welcome to Crippie's Corner! Tonight we have a special guest, ladies and gentlemen I present A. Tumor!!!! *applause*

A. Tumor - HEY CRIPPIIIEEEEEE! Great to be here today

Crippie - Glad to have you, now let's get to the questions

A. Tumor - Shoot! 

Crippie - I hear your most recent project was irritating my middle finger. Can you explain that?

A. Tumor - You bet! One day I got a call from DNA Studios and they told me to pop up, so I chose your middle finger

Crippie - Couldn't you have picked a better place?

A. Tumor - Better place? YOU WERE INADVERTENTLY FLIPPING THE BIRD! That is the greatest location ever. Plus, in the scheme of things, a finger is a pretty sweet place to have a tumor. 

Crippie - Aren't you worried about being evicted, like your friends Fanny and Pointy?

A. Tumor - YOLO! 

Crippie - Did you really just say "YOLO" to justify where you grow on bones? Do you not care about the quality of life for the person, or your own life for that matter?

A. Tumor - Nah bro I do what I wanna do. If I wanna grow in your hip socket I'll grow in your hip socket. Sure there's a chance of being forcibly removed but it's a chance I'm willing to take. 

Crippie - Is there anything you can say that won't make you sound like an asshole?

A. Tumor - Probs not

Crippie - Is there any rhyme or reason to anything you do?

A. Tumor - HELL NO! I'm spontaneous... YOOOOLLLLLLOOOOOOO

Crippie - STOP SAYING YOLO! 

A. Tumor - Carpe freakin' diem... better?

Crippie - But why do you do this?

A. Tumor - For the lulz mostly

Crippie - So let me get this straight... genetics dictates that you grow on bones, and you grow where ever you darn well please, regardless of what it will do to the person?

A. Tumor - Yup, expect I don't go everywhere I want. I mainly grow on long bones. Believe me I would love to mess with that skull of yours.

Crippie - Annnnndddd now you're creeping me out. You know what, I think you're just trying to make my life difficult. You can't even give me decent answers or any insight as to why you are here!!!

A. Tumor - You'll never get a decent answer from me, you've just gotta accept me as I am

Crippie - I guess you're right... you're still a dick though

A. Tumor - Never said I wasn't... YOOOOOLLLLLLLL

Crippie - NO MORE YOLOS! And we're out of time for tonight! Join us tomorrow for an emotional interview between Helen the Dog and her detached retinas. Can they bond?!?!?! THANK YOU EVERYONE, YOU'VE BEEN A TERRIFIC AUDIENCE!!!!!!!!! *Applause*

Yeaaaaaahhhhhh... I think I have an over-active imagination ;)  Well, I hope everyone has an awesome day tomorrow. I've got a looooonnnngggg day of work ahead of me, so I should probably get to sleep. Something tells me I'll be having dreams about scumbag tumors saying YOOOOLLLLLOOOOO (Yolo means "You Only Live Once" if you weren't aware)

Crippie's Tippie - Sometimes it best not ask why, because there is no answer and it will only make your illness look like a bigger asshole. 

NHBPM - Crippie Kills A Walker

Yo! 

Yeah, I'm totally looking forward to tonight's blog prompt, so I'll just jump into it...

Write a TV episode of your favorite show that features someone with your condition. What do you want people to know?

This is a no brainer (pun intended)... tonight I'm gonna put another cripple in "The Walking Dead". If you don't watch the show at all you can scroll down to the bottom of the post where I'll discuss other non-zombie related things. 

Alrighty, I'm gonna put my new cripple character in this season's Prison/Woodbury arc and name 'em Crippie because I feel like it. Crippie is a resident of Woodbury. She has MHE, walks with a cane, and no one believes strong enough to unleash a can of whoop ass on a walker. Crippie keeps a very low profile, all the while becoming ever more aware that the governor is out of his damn mind. Over time she gains the governor's trust, becoming privy to more and more information. Now cut to tomorrow's episode where the governor has several members of Rick's group hostage. Crippie decides to take action and release the hostages. First, she finds Merle Machete hand as he is torturing one of the members of the group. He laughs her off at first but there is something that no one knows about Crippie... her cane is a sword cane. With one swoop she cuts off his other hand (karma's a bitch Merle) and rescue's the first member of the group. Then, they go and find the governor who is "interrogating" the other member of the group. She places her sword back in her cane. Crippie limps in the room, claiming that there is an emergency. While the governor is caught off guard she whips out her sword again and proceeds to kick the governor's ass. Once both of the members are safe they run like the dickens outta Woodbury. While in the woods they meet up with Rick's group as they were coming to rescue the members. We then exact our revenge on Woodbury for torturing people. One of many epic battles ensues and Crippie proceeds to kick major ass. Considering that most of the secondary characters die fairly quickly on the show me thinks Crippie would probably have some form of hero's death scene. The other cripple on the show, One-Legged Hershel would find Crippie's sword cane and continue on the legacy of being a bad-ass cripple.

There ya have it, that should lead us back to an epic battle for the prison and an ultimate showdown between Rick & the governor. Moral of the story? Don't underestimate the cripple... we will mess you up. 

NON ZOMBIE-RELATED CONTENT - I have a question for y'all. Since my surgery two months ago my scar has become rather annoying. It's starting to keloid and I feel like there's a lot of scar tissue in general. This area (my lower back) moves around a lot and that skin has to stretch, and my scar is simply not cooperating. It hurts and I occasionally get sharp stinging pains from it. Have any of you guys experienced anything similar? Anyone have any tips or tricks to ease the situation? Lotions? Vitamin E? Anything? 

Crippie's Tippie - if you want to prepare for a zombie apocalypse, there are many weapons that can be disguised as canes. Mainly swords and tasers. 

NHBPM - Crippie Gives Thanks

It's Turkey Lurkey Time!

Happy Thanksgiving everybody!!! I hope my American readers had a wonderful day filled with equally wonderful food. I spent my day hanging out with relatives and nomming on turkey. It was a very successful day, the turkey wasn't dry and pooches didn't kill anyone in an attempt to get said yummy turkey (Helen did try to kill to some strangers outside, but that's another story).

Today's NHBPM prompt is pretty straight forward... Thanks Post. Write about what you're thankful for.

This'll be fun! Gotta say I really do love these types of holidays, or any type of occasion where people take a moment and realize all the good things around them. I try my best to do this every single day. I know my life is faaaaaaaaarrrrrr from perfect, and there are times when things flat out suck... but I remember all of the good things around me, and that my problems could be sooooooooooooo much worse. It helps put things into perspective and ultimately cheers me up. I know far too many people that are surrounded by wonderful things, they just fail to see it. So here's a brief (and pretty) list of things that I am thankful for, not just today... but every day.

 

 

Seriously, I'm beyond blessed to have readers like you guys in my life :)

Here are some other things that I'm very thankful for, but didn't make doodles for...

Having a job that I love | Being able to walk | NO MORE FANNY!!! | Awesome music & movies to distract me when I'm sad | The Sims | Nail Polish | The Walking Dead | Graphic Design | Generators | Chocolate | Norwegians | Heat Packs that don't break | Pain medicine | Good doctors | Damn near everything :D

Crippie's Tippie - If you're down in the dumps, take a step back and realize that your life could suck so much more then it does presently 

NHBPM - Mental Yentl

Greetings!

Angel wants to thank you all for the birthday wishes. She says she'd gladly hang out with all of you if she could.

Sorry about missing two days worth of blog prompts, but I again decided that sleeping would probably be a good idea. Now I'm rested and ready to continue on with the prompts, which is good cause tonight's scheduled prompt looks most interesting.

Write about mental health

Okies, there are a lot of ways I can go about this so I reckon I'll answer a crippie question on the subject. I've been asked "Is having a mental illness similar to having a physical illness?" The answer, yes and no.

Before I continue with this let me preface by saying that apart from being slightly on the autism spectrum I don't have any mental illnesses, but a fair amount of my family and friends do. So how are they similar? An illness is an illness, it can royally mess you up regardless of where it originates. How are they different? For starters there is waaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy more of a stigma for mental illness. If I told someone that I was a cripple they wouldn't think that I was weird or anything. However, if I was to tell someone that I have a mental illness they'd think "THIS CHICK IS FREAKING CRAZY". Next, finding the right treatment for mental illnesses is challenging to say the least. If I am in pain, I go to pain management doctor, try out a drug or two and I'm usually good for at least a year or so. If this was a mental illness I could be dealing with dozens of super fun, potentially dangerous drugs with a countless number of medicine and dosing changes. Fun stuff. At the end of the day both mental and physical illnesses are equally real and equally legitimate. They both equally suck!!! YAY MENTAL CRIPPIES! Also, I think someone needs to start a blog about having a mental illnesses and call it "Mental Yentl" I'd be sooooooooooo happy if that happened.

I hope all my US readers have a happy Thanksgiving. Angel and Helen want your turkeys.

Crippie's Tippie - Mental illnesses are serious business, if you think you need help, get it

NHBPM - That's My Jam!!!

Ohai!

I hope y'all are having an excellent weekend thus far. My weekend's been good, been very busy working but I'm not complainin'.

Today's NHBPM prompt is quite entertaining, and I could have done more with it if grooveshark would've let me share playists... oh well. The prompt is..

Health Playlist. Make a playlist for your health community.

Again, I couldn't embed a playlist here go I opted to pick one song that is epitome of awesome, an anthem for teh cripples everywhere, our jam if you will :)

Yup, I just went there. Anybody else have any awesome cripple songs that I could add to the playlist, IF I HAD ONE?!?!?!

Speaking of crippledness, I was definitely a bit of a special cripple today. I figured I'd summarize why with two photos

While I was at work today at my hand would hurt periodically, specifically one of my fingers. At first I thought nothing of it and brushed it off. But it kept freaking happening. Upon closer inspection I noticed that my finger was kinda swollen. In other words, a tumor on my finger has irritated whatever tissues are near it. It'll pass in a day or so, but in the meantime I'll avoid moving or bending it to prevent further irritation. What makes this scenario so special? Um... well... can you guess which finger I should be keeping elevated? SENSITIVE PEOPLE SCROLL PAST THIS PHOTO

If you guessed my middle finger, YOU ARE CORRECT! You get a cookie. I have decided to name the troll tumor Birdie, mainly because that's what I'll be flipping for the next day or so. Luckily it's starting to feel better already, let's keep our fingers crossed what I don't accidentally flip of any co-workers tomorrow :D

Crippie's Tippie - If you happen to injure your middle finger, consider wearing a finger brace... that way people will know that you probably didn't mean to flip them off. Also, while you have said brace on, be sure to casually flip people off... they'll think it was an accident! 

NHBPM - Cripple Rage Comic

Whazzzzzzzup

Happy Friday everybody! Tonight's NHBPM blog prompt certainly looks entertaining...

Create a comic strip about your health/life/community

Oboi! Sounds exciting! I opted to be the internet female that I am and make a "rage comic" because they're easy to make. Without further ado I give y'all a rage comic summarizing my disability...

There we have it people, my disease in a nutshell... my bones are riddled with troll tumors.

In other news, me thinks the weather is changing cause I've been rather achy recently. I can actually tell when my pain medicine starts kicking in at night. Gotta love that feeling of the pain melting away :) That plus my super awesome melatonin gummies have made night time less suck-y. I used to just toss and turn for hours hoping that I'd either get tired or stop hurting. Now I'm tired and not in pain. Yay for feeling normal!

In animal news, Angel's 2nd anniversary with us is this Sunday! Last year we cooked her a hamburger and she was happiest dog on the planet. This year, we don't have burgers and Angel is getting slightly porky, so I'm gonna cook her a slice or two of ham and make her run around the house for it. Angel might be a senior (vet says she's somewhere between 8-12 years old) but her face lights up when she sees food. Speaking of senior animals, Mama Pig is starting to show some signs of age. Primarily, she is getting lazy. She has her favorite spots near the hay and she prefers to stay there. I make her run around the cage daily just to be sure that she still can. Since she likes to stay in one place most of the time, she is also prone to lying in her filth. Thus, we have to change the bedding around her favorite spots every other day and wash her bum periodically. Once the weather gets warmer she's gonna have a nice long bath and a butt hair trim... oh joy. Mama is around 5 years old. I want to keep her happy and healthy for a long time. Me thinks I'm gonna obtain some multi-vitamins for her to try. Yes, there are multi-vitamins made specifically for guinea pigs. I'll do a review of 'em if I ever get any.

Crippie's Tippie - Wanna make your own epic rage comic? This is probably one of the better sites to make 'em on.

NHBPM - To The Tweeter!

Greetings!

I hope y'all had a lovely Thursday. I had a very busy day, so I'm gonna try and get to bed at a decent hour... try ;)

Before I answer today's blog prompt I just wanted to mention that my super epic Scentsy Fundraiser for The MHE Coalition has officially ended. I'll be sharing the results with y'all shortly, but I can safely say that we have brightened the days of a bunch of children. I wanna give a big shout out to everyone who participated and donated your hard earned money to the cause, I cannot thank you enough! Also, if anybody else is hosting a fundraiser hit me up and I'll gladly help promote it.

Moving on, I'm actually going to follow tonight's blog prompt, INSANITY!!!!!

Why healthcare companies (or healthcare professionals) should use social media

This prompt is super easy to answer... they should be able to use social media because it makes it so much easier for their customers to scald them in public! Whenever any company screws me over, I take my complaints to the tweeter. I make certain to either use their twitter handle or some kind of hashtag that makes it painfully obvious as to who has pissed me off. This way someone from their company sees that I'm pissed AND countless strangers will see that I'm pissed!

Healthcare companies should with out question use social media. These bastards need to know how much they are screwing us over and how we are not ok with it. If people shopping around for insurance  stumble across a company's facebook page and it's filled with nothing but hate mail and negative feedback do you think they'd choose that company. I don't think so. Think of their use of social media as a scarlet letter of sorts... except the A would stand for assholes. Also, this is probably the internet female side of me, but I'd also love to see all their social media pages invaded by trolls. Let's face it, they troll the people on a daily basis... revenge would be freaking amazing. A little justice would be lovely.

Crippie's Tippie - Mad at your healthcare provider, bitch 'em out on twitter or facebook. They can't get away with being douche bags. 

NHBPM - To Share or Not to Share

Ello!

Yesterday I opted to take my own advice and sleep instead of blog, got to sleep at decent hour :)

Now on the NHBPM blog prompt... I wasn't thrilled with today's choices, so I went and picked one from earlier in the month.

Disclosure post. How do you decide what to share? What do/don't you share?

Alrighty, this blog is about me and being a cripple. Thus I share things relevant to that topic. If something of use occurs with my health I'll post it. I do want this blog to be an accurate representation of what it can be like to have a disability. There are many aspects of being a cripple that are by no means glamorous. Whether its having 17 staples on your butt, not being able to open your cup to pee in at the doctor, or having a tampon shaped scar on your wrist... it's part of my reality. On the same note, even though I try not to blog when I'm in a bad mood, there are times when a massive Crippie Rant pops up. While I'm not always proud of what I say in those, they're pretty good examples of some common cripple frustrations. That's why I don't delete 'em.

What don't I share? I keep most of my life private. I don't discuss matters pertaining to my family. That's mainly for safety reasons. While I talk about work in a very vague sense, I NEVER go into great details (as much as I might want to) cause ya know... I don't wanna get fired.

There is one subject though that I will gladly give 110% full disclosure on... MY ANIMALS! Yup! Maybe it's because they're so freakin' adorable, or that they won't care if I post their pictures here, or that I don't have to worry about hurting their feelings. But I love my piggies and pooches to bits, so if something out of the ordinary happens to them (good, bad, whatever) I'll post about it. If I take a cute picture of Nellie sleeping, you bet your ass I will post it sooner or later. Speaking of animals, Angel's second anniversary is this Sunday :3. We must prepare some special noms for her.

I guess to summarize, I am a rather private person... that being said I'll post anything that I believe to be relevant to the blog, and lots of guinea pig pictures. Lots and lots of guinea pig pictures.

Crippie's Tippie - When possible, try not to be in an overly bad mood when blogging.