Monday, November 26, 2012

NHBPM - Crippie Interviews Some Tumors

Ohai Y'all

Man, I suck at the NHBPM thing this year. In my defense, it's probably for the best that I didn't follow yesterday's prompt. It was hella depressing "What do you hope happens to you blog after you die?" REALLY?!?!?

Lucky for us today's prompt is MUCH more entertaining, and not as morbid. Interview your health. Ok, here goes nothing...

Crippie - Hey everybody! Welcome to Crippie's Corner! Tonight we have a special guest, ladies and gentlemen I present A. Tumor!!!! *applause*

A. Tumor - HEY CRIPPIIIEEEEEE! Great to be here today

Crippie - Glad to have you, now let's get to the questions

A. Tumor - Shoot! 

Crippie - I hear your most recent project was irritating my middle finger. Can you explain that?

A. Tumor - You bet! One day I got a call from DNA Studios and they told me to pop up, so I chose your middle finger

Crippie - Couldn't you have picked a better place?

A. Tumor - Better place? YOU WERE INADVERTENTLY FLIPPING THE BIRD! That is the greatest location ever. Plus, in the scheme of things, a finger is a pretty sweet place to have a tumor. 

Crippie - Aren't you worried about being evicted, like your friends Fanny and Pointy?

A. Tumor - YOLO! 

Crippie - Did you really just say "YOLO" to justify where you grow on bones? Do you not care about the quality of life for the person, or your own life for that matter?

A. Tumor - Nah bro I do what I wanna do. If I wanna grow in your hip socket I'll grow in your hip socket. Sure there's a chance of being forcibly removed but it's a chance I'm willing to take. 

Crippie - Is there anything you can say that won't make you sound like an asshole?

A. Tumor - Probs not

Crippie - Is there any rhyme or reason to anything you do?

A. Tumor - HELL NO! I'm spontaneous... YOOOOLLLLLLOOOOOOO


A. Tumor - Carpe freakin' diem... better?

Crippie - But why do you do this?

A. Tumor - For the lulz mostly

Crippie - So let me get this straight... genetics dictates that you grow on bones, and you grow where ever you darn well please, regardless of what it will do to the person?

A. Tumor - Yup, expect I don't go everywhere I want. I mainly grow on long bones. Believe me I would love to mess with that skull of yours.

Crippie - Annnnndddd now you're creeping me out. You know what, I think you're just trying to make my life difficult. You can't even give me decent answers or any insight as to why you are here!!!

A. Tumor - You'll never get a decent answer from me, you've just gotta accept me as I am

Crippie - I guess you're right... you're still a dick though

A. Tumor - Never said I wasn't... YOOOOOLLLLLLLL

Crippie - NO MORE YOLOS! And we're out of time for tonight! Join us tomorrow for an emotional interview between Helen the Dog and her detached retinas. Can they bond?!?!?! THANK YOU EVERYONE, YOU'VE BEEN A TERRIFIC AUDIENCE!!!!!!!!! *Applause*

Yeaaaaaahhhhhh... I think I have an over-active imagination ;)  Well, I hope everyone has an awesome day tomorrow. I've got a looooonnnngggg day of work ahead of me, so I should probably get to sleep. Something tells me I'll be having dreams about scumbag tumors saying YOOOOLLLLLOOOOO (Yolo means "You Only Live Once" if you weren't aware)

Crippie's Tippie - Sometimes it best not ask why, because there is no answer and it will only make your illness look like a bigger asshole. 


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