A Grand Day For Driving

Yo!

Happy July everybody!!! I hope everyone had a lovely Sunday. My day went very well. I saw a local production of "A Grand Night For Singing", which is a revue of Rogers & Hammerstein songs. The production was fantastic and I enjoyed every minute of it. I also have to mention that I DROVE TO AND FROM THE THEATRE!!! YAY CRIPPIE!!! I know it might not seem like a huge deal but I had never driven on those roads before. I managed the to drive both ways without a panic attack and with only minor swearing! Granted, they're were people in the car with me, so that helped my anxiety of not knowing where I was... although it heightened my anxiety about killing everyone in the car in a fiery blaze. Maybe after a few more trips to this location I'll be comfortable enough to drive there by myself!

While I am making strides in lessening my driving anxiety, there is still a loooooooooooot of room for improvement. I'm trying to figure out the best way lessen my anxieties. Technically I know how to drive on highways and all that jazz... so it's not like I need to take lessons. Maybe I should just go driving with a GPS one day and see where that takes me. I drove today because I was forced to do so. Perhaps necessity will drive me to suck it up and drive to new places? Do any of my awesome readers have any tippies for driving anxiety?

I asked Nellie what she thought about my driving situation, her response was this...

"Why yes I would love some watermelon! Wait... that wasn't what you asked me? Oh well, everything sounds like 'would you like watermelon' to me. Speaking of which, I really want watermelon"

All of the piggies have been in "GIVE ME SOME DAMN WATERMELON" mode for the past couple of days. We kinda have to be careful. If someone in the house opens the fridge at 2am for some late night nosh, one of the pigs *coughAGGIEcough* starts screaming bloody murder. That one pig triggers all of the pigs to start screaming. As much as it breaks their little hearts, we cannot give them watermelon whenever they want it. If we did that they'd be conditioned to scream whenever they "need" watermelon, which is always ;). 

Crippie's Tippie - Necessity is the mother of learning how to suck it up

It's Getting Hot In Here...

Howdy!

Holy moly it's really freakin' hot. Crippie hopes that all of my lovely readers are keeping cool this weekend. I usually don't mind the heat, but it's become a bit of nuisance since I've been using heat packs. It's like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place... without the heat pack I'm achy and cool, with the heat pack I'm in less pain but overheating. *Sigh* I've decided that the overheating problem was easier to treat... so I just drink cold beverages and things of that nature to compensate. 

This weather has not been agreeing with the tumors either, Fanny in particular. She's been making my hip ache like a mofo. Have you ever had something ache to a point where it becomes really painful? That's Fanny. My hip almost constantly has a dull aching feeling. I eagerly await to find out when this bastard will be removed. 

Apart from this lovely weather, Crippie's been having a good weekend thus far. I was actually a social creature today. A friend came over for a pizza and Daria marathon. Daria is one of my all time favorite TV shows, people compare me to the main character all the time :D. So Crippie had a lovely time with that. Tomorrow (today, whatever) Crippie is going to see another show! Gotta love theatre season! I'm going to see Summerstar Theatre's production of  "A Grand Night For Singing". Crippie loves living in an area with such wonderful community theatre companies. All of my local readers should totally go see this show, I hear it's wonderful. And all of my non-local readers should support their local community theatre troups! 

In sleeping news, last night I tried taking online surveys to get tired. Worked pretty well if I do say so myself. They're boring as hell and you can earn a few extra bucks. It's like being paid to fall asleep! I was going to do likewise tonight, but Crippie got distracted with pictures of cats. I should be able to fall asleep after I finish posting this.

Before I leave y'all for the night, my guinea pigs have a quick piggie tippie for beating the heat... WATERMELON. My piggies love watermelon more than life itself and devour it like it's laced with crack or something. It's also great for hot weather because it's cold and refreshing. Here's a little video to prove my point. (I don't give my pigs this much watermelon, they get tiny pieces)

Crippie's Tippie - SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL THEATRES!!!! 

I Can Has Insurance?

Salutations!

I don't know if you guys have heard about the whole "The Supreme Court ruled in favor of the Affordable Health Care Act" thing, but... THE SUPREME COURT RULED IN FAVOR OF THE AFFORDABLE HEALTH CARE ACT!!! Personally, I believe that everyone in the country should have access to healthcare. Without this healthcare reform Crippie's future would be filled with soooooooooooooo many unknowns (well, more than the usual). Would I be able to get insurance in the first place with my pre-existing conditions? Even if I was able to get insurance, would they cover anything caused by my crippledness? If I can't get insurance, what will I do when something goes wrong? I get anxious just thinking about it. Crippie knows that the Affordable Health Care Act isn't perfect... but it's without a doubt a step in the right direction. If anyone disagrees with Crippie, feel free to post your opinions in the comment section. In the meantime, here's a collection of my favorite reactions thus far (I didn't make this images nor do I own them)

LOL, so there ya have it folks, again feel free to disagree (or agree that these memes are AWESOME) in comment section ;)

Crippie's Tippie - If car insurance and homeowner's insurance are mandatory, why not health insurance? People are more valuable than cars and houses... right?

Do Mosquitos Love Cripples?

Yo!

Crippie hopes all of her readers had a wonderful Wednesday. Crippie's day went rather well actually. I found out that one of my buddies is officially in remission from stage 4 cancer (Can I get a w000000t) and my sister might have found a job!!! I was also unusually achy today, probs because it's gonna rain on Friday. But the good news certainly trumped the pain today.

The great sleep saga continues tonight. I'm gonna attempt trying to write a coherent post late at night again. While it was certainly not successful last night, I realized that was due to my consumption of a caffeinated soda after 8pm. Oops... lesson learned.

Now... on to that title... summer has officially begun (YAY) and that means that bugs are in the air (boo). I don't know if it's just me... but mosquitos freakin' love me. Well... that's not entirely true. mosquitos love certain parts of me. When I was younger I would get eaten alive by those stupid bastards, I would be covered in bites from head to toe. Over the past couple of years (6 or 7 years maybe) bugs have been very selective when biting me. They like to bite me at my surgical sites. Only at my surgical sites. My wrists and my legs (which are always covered) get bitten while the rest of me is bite free. How weird is that? These aren't even new scars... some of 'em are 10 years old! Have any of my comrades had similar experiences? Is scar tissue tasty or something? I'm super curious if anyone else experiences this. If not, maybe it's proof that I am an animal whisperer! Maybe this is the mosquitos way of saying "You are the chosen one".

In guinea pig news, Maggie was hanging out with me tonight. She had a dandy time watching computer and listening to Lady Gaga. Seriously my pigs love her, they purr whenever Poker Face is played, it's probably something about the beat. Anyways, I took some insanely adorable pictures and Maggie wanted me to share them with you.

Is this my best side?

Or is THIS side better?

Ya know what, ALL of my sides are fantastic! I'M SO DAMN CUTE!

 I'm actually starting to get that "I'm about to pass out" feeling... sweeeeeeeeeeet. Perhaps this whole "trying to be coherent and write a blog at an ungodly hour of the night" thing helps. At least this gives me motivation to post daily again.

Crippie's Tippie - This summer's must have item is bug spray! 

How To Piss Off Crippie

Ohai!

This isn't a giant cripple rant post! I'm just answering a cripple question... I SWEAR!

Before I get to the cripple question, I must make a tiny confession. Today (yesterday, whatever) I was going to go to the animal shelter and adopt the walking wig that is Meatloaf, but alas... he found a home on Saturday. Congrats to Meatloaf's new owners... let's hope he gets a nice hair trim. Crippie will continue to check Petfinder and Craigslist for piggies. Who knows, maybe one of these days I'll find a piggie to add to my herd. Just a quick tip for people searching Craigslist for piggies... be wary of people selling baby pigs, they could very well be "back-door breeders". These guys know little about pig genetics and you could very easily wind up with a very sick little pig. Not to mention the whole breeding is insanely dangerous for the mommy and the babies thing.

Moving on, since posting some of my infamous "STOP COMPLAINING" cripple rants I've been asked "Apart from your oh so subtle hatred of complaining, do normals do anything else to grind your gears?"

Well, the complaining thing is without a doubt my top pet peeve. I find it absolutely infuriating at times. Crippie does have some other pet peeves that annoy the hell out of me. Again, these peeves annoy me... they don't make me really angry or anything, they just piss me off.

This Is Just God's Way Of _______________

Sorry if this offends anyone, but when anyone tells me that my disability is part of God's plan for me, or God's way of teaching me something I get annoyed. The concept of God wanting me suffer seems so cruel. I can't imagine a loving God willingly doing that to a person. I hate this approach to disability in general. There is no reason for people to be disabled... it just happens. Crippie can however recognize that people are entitled to their own religious opinions. Whenever someone tells me this I usually just keep my mouth shut and brush it off. 

OMG YOU'RE SO LUCKY!!!!

There are perks to being a cripple, and these perks are nice to have (handicapped parking, etc.) But when a Normal tells me that I'm lucky for having these perks I get angry. When I was in school so many people would tell me how lucky I was that I didn't have to go to gym class. Crippie wanted to say "Don't you know how lucky you are that you CAN go to gym class?!?!?!". People don't realize that while cripples do have the occasional benefit we pay a heavy price for them. I would much rather be a normal without the perks than be a cripple with the perks. 

Stop Being Lazy!

Crippie has chronic fatigue, so I get very tired very easily. I hate when people call me lazy for one reason or another. CRIPPIE IS NOT LAZY! CRIPPIE IS GENUINELY TIRED!!! 

and on an issue unrelated to disability "You know that people eat guinea pigs right?"

OMG STOP, CRIPPIE IS AWARE THAT PEOPLE EAT GUINEA PIGS! You can stop telling me stories about how some dude on the food channel ate a guinea pig, or sending me a video of people picking out their piggie, cooking them, and eating them. First off, people don't technically eat guinea pigs, they eat Cuy, a larger version of guinea pigs. Second, my piggies are my babies, I DO NOT WANT TO THINK OF THEM DEAD! It's not funny. It's not nice. Next time someone jokes about eating one of my pigs because they are wheeking, I'll take that pig out and make them urinate on the offender. Crippie knows how to make them pee on command. I'll do it. Nobody puts my babies in a corner! 

That's about it, the piggie one probably annoys me most of all. In other news, Crippie is still trying to go to sleep. I tried playing The Sims last night in order to get me tired... it kinda worked. Tonight I tried blogging... CLEARLY did not work seeing as how it's almost 5 in the morning. Crippie wishes she were more like her babies, they can sleep anywhere at any time.

If I fits, I sleeps

Food Coma snuggles

Crippie's Tippie - If you tell a cripple that they are lucky to have a disability, there is a fair chance that they will beat your senseless with their mobility aid.

Sleeping Crippie

Greetings!

I hope all my crippled comrades had a marvelous weekend, Crippie especially hopes that her local cripples enjoyed that heatwave. It was so freakin' hot this weekend, my goodness. Luckily I didn't have to outside for many reasons. I was worried about all of animals but thankfully I had no reason to worry. The piggies got through the heatwave unscathed, Helen enjoyed sleeping in the warm grass when she would go out for walks (she really is lazy), and Angel hated the weather, but she got ice cubes in her water which she enjoyed. So all is well in Crippie's animal kingdom.

This weekend was rather eventful for my family. I got the see the final two performances of my sister's show. The last couple of shows were damn near sold out. While I have no proof, I'm gonna say that my publicity is totally responsible for it. Crippie had a jolly time at all of the productions and I have now memorized most of the show. This happens every time I see one of my sister's shows. I end up memorizing 'em. I can still recite most of the songs from "Into The Woods" and that show was over 5 years ago :D. Anyways... here are some pics I took over the weekend...

Helen is a lazy bum

She steals my pillows, all the freakin' time 

A view near the playhouse, gotta love the Hudson River!

Passed a carnival on the way home 

Sunday on the Hudson with a Sailboat (broadway humor) 

And Crippie was killing time by taking pictures

Moving on, Crippie has a question for her readers. It seems that I have a loooooot of difficulty in the "going to sleep" department. My usual night time schedule is to usually go on the computer until I feel like I'm going to pass out. At the point I fall asleep rather quickly. The problem is that it is around 3-4 in the morning when this occurs. I could simply get off my damn computer at a decent hour, but here lies the problem... say Crippie is rather tired, but not ready to pass out tired. If I were to simply go to bed all of the sudden Fanny would decide to act up, so you've got a good 45 minutes of tossing and turning there. After I get comfy-ish my shoulder will be like "OHAI... I'm gonna hurt you now!" so I spend another 45 minutes popping my shoulder and tossing and turning. THEN my neck will be like, "Ya, know... I was comfier the other way". THEN my hip will be like "WTF... I WAS COMFY BEFORE!". Long story short it takes me hours to fall asleep. Me thinks I need to find a way to get to the "I'm about to pass out" stage sooner. Any suggestions readers? 

Crippie's Tippie - One thing I've tried that has had mild success was to do sudoko puzzles at night with low light. It strains my eyes and makes me sleepier sometimes. Other times I get really focused on the puzzle and stay up trying to solve it. Not perfect, but better than nothing.

*Insert Cute Title Here*

Привет!

Crippie wanted to give a special shout out to my Russian readers. Apparently I have a lot of them! Fun Fact: Crippie is 50% Russian.

It looks like we're gonna have another one of those "it's 4 in the morning, I can't sleep and I'm blogging about random things going on in my life" kinda posts. I really need to fix my sleep schedule.

Crippie's day went very well, even though it was hot as balls here (over 97 degrees at times). I saw the my sister is in her show again. BTW peoples, there are still four more performances left! One tomorrow night, 2 on Saturday, and one on Sunday! If you are in the area you should totally go to the Railroad Playhouse in Newburgh and check it out! There's also a restaurant in lobby that makes nomerful food. Crippie had "Honey Citrus Pepper" chicken wings... omg soooooo good. Crippie wishes she had taken a picture of 'em... but gosh darn it... I was so hungry that I just dove in.

Once we're all done with this show, Crippie will try to schedule Fanny's removal. Keep your fingers crossed that I can get her out in September.

In animal news, Angel got very sick a few days ago. She probably ate something that didn't agree with her. Poor baby wasn't allowed to eat for a whole day. She recovered very quickly and is now back to her good ol' self. Helen is still convinced that she is peoples. She was sleeping on my bed before when she had a nightmare and starting whimpering. Crippie had to hold her like a little baby in my arms and rock her till she calmed down and fell asleep again. All of the piggies are doing well, although Nellie has been having a lot of "special" moments recently. These moments include diving into the hay (literally), turning her cuddle cup on it's side and sticking her head in it, and having staring contests with walls. Nellie is kinda special like that.

Speaking of piggies, remember how Crippie said she'd be keeping her eye out for piggies in shelters? Well, recently Crippie found this little nugget on petfinder!

His name is Meatloaf and his petfinder profile can be viewed HERE. He appears to be a Texel/Peruvian mix. It appears that the shelter is planning on neutering him, so he could theoretically live with Mama, Frida, and Nellie. Crippie will probably go and visit him sometime next week. While I am tempted to adopt him, there are a lot of factors to consider. If he's a total asshole like Maggie or Emma an introduction would be damn near impossible. This dude's hair is also major thing to think about, from the picture it's pretty clear that he has HAIR, and that hair needs to be maintained. Judging by the picture alone, me thinks his prior owners trieeeeeddd to maintain his hair... a little. While I'm interested in the walking wig, I do have 5 pigs already, so if anyone else out there is looking for a piggie... consider this one!

So yeah, that's about it... Crippie is gonna try and get some sleep now

Crippie's Tippie - See my sister's show and go visit Meatloaf

Growing Up Crippie

Ohai!

First off, "Crippie's Corner" has reached over 20,000 page views! HOLY FREAKIN' CRAP! Thank you guys so much. When Crippie started blogging I was shocked to see that I had 20 views. I cannot put it into words how much it means to me that you guys are interested in what I say (my piggies are in the background saying "um... mom... all those people just wanna see our faces"). Gotta give a special shout out to Mary, Mario, & Chris for their awesome comments :D

Since we are dealing with a special occasion here, Crippie figured she should answer a cripple question of awesome caliber... "how did having a disability effect you growing up?" Where to begin...

When Crippie was just a lil Crippie, let's say under 10, I knew I had "bumpy bones" and that they made me suck at gym, but that was about it. My disability had a relatively small impact on my life. I had some really good friends, went to birthday parties, did well in school, all that normal jazz. The only time being a cripple really had an impact was in gym. I was horrrrriiiiiibbbbbblllllleeeeeee at most gym activities and kids would pick on me for it. Again, relatively minor in the scheme of things.

Crippie had surgery when she was 10 make my leg straight, and I wound up with massive complications. This is when my disability had a profound effect on me. I was in constant pain, couldn't walk, and couldn't attend school. My "friends" along with damn near everyone I knew opted to no longer associate with me. Fun, right? So Crippie spent the next few years with minimal social contact. Being visibly crippled and being in Middle School do not mix... at all. I was never invited to "hang out" with people, never attended a birthday party, nothing. No one wanted to associate with me so I became very used to being alone. I focused on my studies, I figured winning tons of awards and whooping everyone's butts in class was a subtle "screw y'all".

In high school most people still wouldn't associate with Crippie, but I figured ways to better select friends. Crippie opted to hang with people who wouldn't shun me for being a cripple... these people were other cripples and members of a local religious commune. I had a handful of friends in high school and at age 17 I was finally invited to a birthday party! Still, I had very limited social interaction. My summers were consumed with surgeries, so I couldn't exactly go "hang out" with people. Crippie compensated for the general physical sickness and social inadequacies by being insanely smart. Crippie did insanely well on all of her exams, and graduated in the top percent of her class. I never missed a day of high school and won a bunch of scholarships and awards!

I guess it's safe to say that being a cripple had a massive effect on my life, especially my social life. This is why Crippie doesn't take a lot of her "autistic tendencies" terribly seriously... hard to tell if they're actually autistic tendencies or a result of being treated like crap by damn near everyone outside of my family. It was definitely challenging growing up with a disability. It was very painful, very frustrating, and very isolating. The more I think about it... the more I realize that my life really sucked from ages 10-18. Alas, no point in dwelling on that... now Crippie has to acknowledge the crap, learn from it, and move on.

Crippie's Tippie - If your friend is sick, having surgery, anything... don't act like they fell off the face of the Earth. Hang out with them, call, text, post a message on their facebook wall, ANYTHING to let them know that you do in fact care. 

P.S. Anyone interested in hearing about growing up with a disability from my mom's point of view? I know she certainly has some tippies for the normals

To Slice or Not to Slice

Greetings!

I hope all my crippled comrades had a lovely Monday. Mine went very well, mainly because today was my mom's birthday! Crippie successfully managed to surprise her mom several times today. For example, I told my mother that I had to go to work early today, while in reality I had to go pick up cupcakes (that was my mom's only request for the day). Crippie rushed out the door without properly saying goodbye, only to sneak back in the house 10 minutes later with cupcakes in hand. Crippie is sneaky like that.

Moving on, I actually have a cripple question for y'all today! Crippie has had 10 surgeries, most of those surgeries were elective. Crippie and Crippie alone decided to have certain things done. People have asked me "Why on Earth would you want to have surgery?" and "How did you decide that surgery was necessary?".

First off, most MHE related surgeries involve removing problematic tumors. If a tumor gets wrapped up or caught in a muscle or a nerve it hurts like a mofo. If it does not resolve itself on it's own, it needs assistance. Crippie chooses to have surgery when...
1) The pain of the surgery will probably be less than the pain I'm in now
2) Quality of life is affected
3) There is the potential for something to go realllyyyyy wrong
4) It's a super fun high risk tumor

Essentially Crippie chooses to have surgery when the pros outweigh the cons. The cons can be pretty serious sometimes. Any surgery has the potential to go very wrong. Complications happen. Crippie is well aware of the damage a surgery can do. So the problem has to be pretty serious.

Take Fanny for example, I'm choosing to remove her for several reasons
1) My hip freakin' hurts
2) the sciatica is causing mobility issues with my leg which could get worse (my leg could become permanently bent)
3) She's a super fun high risk tumor
4) Her size is become cumbersome, I can't lay on a hard surface

To help illustrate my point, I made a little checklist thingy for y'all. Maybe it'll be useful for someone...

Crippie's Tippie - Do not take surgeries lightly, they suck... so your problems have to suck more than they do.

Happy Father's Day!

Ohai!

Crippie wants to wish all of the dads out there a very happy father's day. My dad spent his special day working on our lawn and seeing my sister's show... which, BTW you can still see next week people!

I would write a whole big speech about how awesome my dad is, but seeing as how he doesn't understand what a "blog" or for that matter "the internet" are... so he'd never see it. Crippie will say that my dad is really freaking awesome. He works insanely hard to support us and he will do anything and everything for us. My dad hates to see me in any form of discomfort and he does everything in his power to make my life as painless as possible. He's also a very good daddy to all the animals, supplying them with all the treats their little hearts could desire.

Crippie is truly blessed to have the wonderful family that she has. We're not perfect by any means... but we're pretty awesome as whole. I'm so incredible grateful for everything my parents have done for me. I know probably sound like a broken record sometimes with all this "be thankful for what you have" stuff, but it's true... especially when it comes to your family. There are people out there who do not appreciate their families, and that makes me kinda sad. Sure, some people have every right to hate their relatives... but a lot of people don't. Our families won't always be around, how's about we recognize how much we love our families while they are still here.

Sorry it's a such a short post tonight, Crippie is getting tired. To make up for it... here are some pictures of Angel passed out on my sofa.

Crippie's Tippie - Realize what you have WHILE you have it!