I hope everyone had a marvelous Monday. Mine was alright, full of the usual pain and discomfort that January and February have brought me, but otherwise no complaints. I do have a fun story to tell y'all though... a refreshing break from me talking about being in constant pain for the past few months.
Well, as you all know the past two months have kinda sucked... a lot. So what did Crippie do about it? Believe it or not I spent Thursday night getting fairly drunk with my coworkers. You see, I was at a party for all the employees at my office (YAY social life points), and I was allowed 2 free drinks, whatever my little heart desired. Normally I do not drink alcohol, partly because it doesn't mix well with my rather strong narcotics, and partly because I just don't enjoy the taste of it. Believe it or not I actually decided to have a drink, not just any drink... a relatively strong one at that. Usually when I drink I dilute the crap outta whatever I'm having, and get a buzz at most. For some off reason I thought a chocolate martini sounded tasty. What can I say, the thought of chocolate milk with lots of alcohol in it intrigued me... plus, it was free. How can I say no to free alcoholic chocolate milk?!?!? So, I consumed an entire chocolate martini in a relatively short span of time AND on an empty stomach. Yup, I'm brilliant. At least I had water too so I was hydrated. I was pleasantly surprised at how I actually found the alcoholic chocolate milk to be tasty. I guess there was enough chocolate syrup and liquor to drown out the nail polish remover taste. Well, about a quarter way through the beverage I either stopped hurting or stopped caring about the constant discomfort. I had a great time being social and being slightly inebriated (YAY social life points), not to mention I had the opportunity to consume some tasty noms. Needless to say, Thursday was a much needed break in what has been a really crappy few months, I got to be a VERY social creature, AND I acted completely out of character.
CHOCOLATE BOOZE!!!!
Slightly inebriated Crippie
Freakin' Awesome Desserts
And on a completely unrelated topic, since some of y'all were curious about how I did my nails with those polka dots... I used a dotting tool to draw the polka dots on. Funness. Toothpicks and old ball-point pens also suffice. I used painter's tape for the design below if you're wondering. If you're also wondering why on earth I would spend time doing stuff like that... it helps me concentrate on something other than the pain. You really need to focus if you don't wanna screw up your manicure ;)
Tape Mani while showing off my dotting tool. It doesn't make sense, but whatever
And on ANOTHER unrelated note, to make up for my still irregular posts... here's some sleeping animals.
SLEEPY FRIDA!
Helen is all snuggled up and adorable
Crippie's Tippie - If you're like me and take heavy duty narcotics, drink in extreme moderation and make sure you sober up before you take your meds. NEVER MIX ALCOHOL WITH PAIN KILLERS. EVER.
WOW! I suck! I'm SO sorry about my lack of posts. All I can say is that the weather has been royally kicking my ass. How much so? Well, I was able to post after having a damn surgery, but not while it's raining, or when the weather is changing... which has pretty much been every freaking day. >.<
I also realized that I missed this blog's 2 year "blogversary" thing! Can't believe I forgot that. I swear this weather is making my whole system go outta whack. Either that or I was just too uncomfortable to remember/care.
Moving on, I hope all of my crippled comrades had dandy valentine's days. I ate copious amounts of chocolate with peanut butter and watched "As Told By Ginger" on YouTube (pro-tip... do NOT watch the very last season of As Told By Ginger, it will destroy your childhood). These days when I'm not distracting myself with 90's cartoons I'm either a) watching "The Walking Dead" (GOVERNOR Y U KILL AXEL) b) painting my nails and reorganizing my collection c) browsing reddit d) playing with the animals. So yeah... not much doin' here.
To make up for my total lack of posts... here's some pics!
I turned Angel into a walker
Valentine's mani
Random dot mani
Helen keeping me company
I've actually got a busy day ahead of me tomorrow, I should get some sleep. I'll try to post regularly again. I SWEAR!
Crippie's Tippie - Heat packs are freaking awesome when the weather is anything but
Yup, the weather still sucks. A lot. A whole lot. I'm still in a fair amount of pain and it looks like it is going to snow some more on Wednesday and again on Saturday. It's pretty safe to say that I have a hate/hate relationship with the weather right now. Oh, if any of you guys were wondering, this is how much snow Nemo left us (also, what kind of name is Nemo... storms should not be named after crippled fish)
On the bright side, I've had oodles of distractions to somewhat take my mind off the pain. This weekend it was the "The Walking Dead" Marathon on Saturday followed by the season premiere on Sunday. Needless to say I was pretty damn happy about that. So happy that I decided to make another playlist for y'all... enjoy!
As always my animals somehow manage to lift my spirits. Yesterday I caught Mama Pig being greedy.
Head under one bed, butt on another. My word Mama Pig! Save one bed for your babies... or don't...
And even though I no longer have a massive bag of jerky in my room, Angel still thinks that she'll get some if she smiles enough (I never gave her any btw).
Well, I reckon that's it for tonight, I've got a long day ahead of me tomorrow. I hope y'all have an awesome, pain-free day :D
Crippie's Tippie - Too crippled to shovel snow? Try to blackmail befriend some normals so they'll do it for you!
Sorry I haven't been posting this week. Ya see, had I posted everyday it would have sounded something like this...
"Hey guys,
Hope y'all are having an awesome day. Crippie is certainly trying to have an awesome day but the weather is making that really freaking difficult. All of the pressure changes and precipitation have made for a very pain filled day. My (Insert either: ribs, hand, wrist, arm, leg, hip or back depending on the day) was killing me today. As always I curled up with my BFF Glenn the heat pack as soon as I got home."
I'm used to being slightly incapacitated by the occasional weather shift, but these constant weather changes are killing me. I swear I don't remember the last time it was this bad. Weeks of constant barometric pressure changes... eff you mother nature... eff you.
Presently my hip is being a bitch, yesterday it was my ribs, the day before my wrist. I'm trying to predict what will hurt me tomorrow since I'm already feeling the shifts for Friday's "blizzard". I've got my wrist brace and my rib brace ready to go, let's hope I don't need 'em. On the bright side, I don't think I have to work on Friday, so I can spend the day at home with Glenn the heat pack.
These days I've honestly been too damn uncomfortable to do much of anything. All of my energy spoons are spent tolerating pain at work. Blaaaaah, all I can say is that the damn groundhog had better be freakin' right about an early Spring, cause I've had enough of winter.
To make up for this mildly depressing post... here's some talking animals. I was almost crying from laughter when I saw this... who am I kidding... I was crying from laughter when I saw this!
Crippie's Tippie - When in doubt, talking animals will always make you feel better
Holy crap, I cannot believe that this blog has over 50,000 views!!! YOU GUYS ARE THE MOST AWESOME PEOPLE IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD!!!
Also, holy crap it's February. When the hell did that happen?
Well, this week has been another pain filled week for Crippie. I've been popping tylenols like a mad woman. Note to self... buy big ass thing of tylenol. 2,000mg of tylenol holds me over during the day when I can't take all my super fun drugs, I take my super fun drugs as soon as I get home.
I'm still relying on distractions to keep me comfortable. Mainly I've been listening to music to help shift my focus. Here's a little playlist of some of the stuff I've been listening too. I've kinda been on an old-timey music kick. Hope y'all enjoy
My other distraction has been the most annoying, frustrating, hilarious and addictive video game that can be found online. It's called... brace yourselves... SURGEON SIMULATOR 2013. Yup, you have to play surgeon and attempt to perform open-heart surgery. The game is so bizarre and ridiculous that it becomes awesome. I suck at video games in general, so it's pretty entertaining to watch me try to play this. One time I whacked the guys ribcage off with a hammer and threw his lungs on the floor. I've accepted the fact that I will never win this game, but I'm enjoying transferring my pain to the dude on the operating table. I'm trying to discover news ways of throwing this guy's lungs around. The game is free and can be found HERE. If you don't wanna play the game cause you suck at video games as much as I do, HERE is a video of someone else playing it.
As always, my animals have been providing the best distraction EVARRRRRR. Angel has been especially distracting recently. She's on a medication that is making her very perky. And I have a bag of beef jerky in my room. The result is this...
This keeps happening... every ten minutes. It's amusing as hell. Although it's really freaking creepy when she does it at 2am.
Oh, I created an account on yet another social media site, Vine. It's like instagram but with videos. So if you wanna see videos like THIS, follow me. I'm @icanhasdesign. Also, if you wanna follow me on instagram my username is scarwars10 :)
The weather is looking questionable for the next week, so it'll probably be another rough week pain wise. Any recommend any good distractions for me? Any awesome shows on netflix? Any stupid videos on YouTube? Any online games worth trying (Yes, I've tried Slender... I didn't find it scary)? I'm open to any suggestions :D
Crippie's Tippie - Beef Jerky may be a delicious treat for humans, but it is the doggie version of meth... use jerky with caution
Ello everyone, I hope y'all are enjoying your weeks thus far. Mine's been pretty good except for one thing... THIS FREAKING WEATHER! The snow, the ice, the rain, the barometric pressure changes... my tumor-riddled body pretty much hates me now. I've been hanging out with my best buddies Glenn the Heat Pack and other awesome friend PAIN KILLERS. They've been making everything tolerable, but I'm pretty uncomfortable right now. The past few days have basically been like this for me...
Yuuuuupppppp, one of those weeks. I've been trying to distract myself from all the discomfort. Wanna see what I've been up to? Well, when I'm not at work I am either...
Playing with animals, cause they're cute and all that jazz. Maggie wants you all to know that she is adorable. Helen wanted to tell you all something, but she forgot what it was and promptly fell asleep.
I painted my nails an obscene number of times. This one here was 7 coats of polish and I removed it the next day. I also reorganized my nail polish container. During this process I might have sorta admitted to being addicted to nail polish, meh... oh well ;)
Lastly, I've been taking stupid/borderline horrifying pictures of myself with the "Walking Dead: Dead Yourself App". Let's face it, if there's one thing to truly brighten my spirits, it's the fact that "The Walking Dead" returns in less than two weeks! W0000t. I also recently noticed that on top me naming my heat pack Glenn, my guinea pig is named Maggie, and my car is named Penny... I've been naming things after Walking Dead characters even before the show aired! I also have relatives named Carl and Andrea.... GASP... I NEED TO FIND MORE THINGS TO NAME AFTER TWD CHARACTERS! I think I might have to start calling Helen T-Dog from now on 0.0
And on a completely unrelated note, I found a tube of scar treatment lotion in my bathroom, so I'm trying it out to see if it does anything.
Well, that's it for tonight folks. I hope the weather isn't kicking y'alls asses too.
Crippie's Tippie - Random, but if you're using glitter nail polish, use Elmer's Glue as a basecoat, that way it will all peel off
I hope everyone is staying WARM this week. It's insanely cold by me and I'm really not ok with it. I don't know if it's possible or not but it feels like the staples in my knee and ankle contract whenever it gets stupidly cold... like now. Right now my best friends are Glenn the heat pack at home and Daniel Radcliffe the heat pack at work. Currently I'd say that I have heat pack on for about 75% of the day. It sounds rather extreme, but it's keeping my joints from getting too painful. Also it keeps me toasty.
Today was a good day though. Mainly because I didn't leave my house. I had the day off from work so I stayed home, had hot chocolate, cuddled up with Glenn, and that's about it.
Yup, TRIPLE MARSHMALLOWS... be jealous. Today was also awesome because something very special came in the mail, my disability check. FREAKING FINALLY! I should probably clarify that this was just for the three weeks I couldn't work because due to that whole "recovering from having a giant mass removed from my hip" thing. I'm not getting monthly check or anything like that. Just a one time deal... but still... MASSIVE VICTORY FOR THE CRIPPLE!
Alrighty, I've got to pass out and have dreams about being awesome and winning battles, I'll probably toss in a guinea pig or two here in there just to spice the dream up.
Crippie's Tippie - As far as being rejected for disability goes... third time was the charm for me. I guess you really should fight it until you get approved. (Thanks for telling me to stick it out Mary)
I hope everyone enjoyed their Martin Luther King Jr. Day. I spent my day working and popping tylenols for a freakishly sore back. I did get to go into work late-ish today so I got to watch the inauguration today. I don't know about you guys but I enjoyed what I saw, and I wasn't the only one in my house who agreed. Angel was "watching" with the family, and by watching I mean sleeping on the couch. Someone on the TV said "All rise" and the next thing we know Angel is sitting at full attention, watching the TV. If that isn't funny enough when the person said "You may be seated" she went back to sleep! I don't get it, she hardly listens to us! But I guess she's a democrat.
Believe it or not she is not the only political pet in our household. Even though Helen slept through today's festivities, she made her opinions known during the election. Whenever I'd watch a debate with her she'd start growling whenever Obama spoke! She'd be perfectly fine with Romney but as soon as Obama started talking she'd make her opinions known that she did NOT like him. At all! So yeah, one of my dogs is a democrat and the other is a republican. My guess is that when they are not busy sleeping or eating they are discussing whatever current events they heard when they were awake.
The piggies don't particularly care about politics, and they probably won't unless someone proposes a ban on lettuce. If that ever happens... ALL HELL WILL BREAK LOOSE!
In other news, the scar from Fanny's removal has officially keloided. No longer is it a scar that's kinda puffy for the time being but will flatten out in a year or two... nope... mofo is a keloid. Since this scar is on a sensitive area that moves around a lot, it gets rather painful from time to time. It's not as painful as Fanny was so I don't mind the trade off... but still... the bastard hurts. I'm trying to put lotion on it but me thinks I might need to invest in a scar cream to help soften this sucker. Any suggestions in good scar creams? Would a stretch mark lotion be better? Help me comrades! WHAT SHOULD I DO!
In other, other news, I've been rejected for disability AGAIN. This time we sent an ass ton of papers and medical records, and my doctor needs to fill out some forms stating that I am in fact, a cripple. Ugh, I hate to say it but if I get rejected again I'm not gonna bother fighting it. For the amount of money I'd be getting, it's not worth putting in any more effort.
That's it for tonight folks, y'all have a good tomorrow. STAY WARM!
Crippie's Tippie - Dogs are smarter than they look sometimes
I hope everyone has been fairing well with all these lovely weather changes. I've been super achy and I somehow managed to hurt my arm a little while ago. It should be better by morning, but still... weird.
Today was my day off from work. I spent it working on my New Year's Resolution of working on my damn driving anxieties. I had to pick up someone at a place that I am REALLY not okay with driving to. Well, it had to be done so with my grandmother and a GPS by my side I drove. Let's just say the whole thing was an experience and I'm amazed I didn't freak out. I'm absolutely petrified of getting lost, driving in some weird place where I have no idea where I am. So what happened when we went? We got lost, naturally. Yes, even with a GPS I managed to get my ass lost... AND I had to drive on some rather unsavory and confusing roads. So yeah... that was fun... NOT -_-
I'm kinda surprised I didn't have an anxiety attack honestly. I was swearing quite a bit and obsessively fidgeting... but all things considered that's not terrible. Had I been the only person in the car it would have been a different story. I probably would have pulled over and freaked out. I just tried to put my faith in my damn GPS. It took awhile and some crazy freaking roads, but we got to our destination, early as a matter of fact. On the way home the person I picked up gave proper direction, they also involved the occasional unsavory road, but I knew that SOMEONE knew where they were going, so that helped.
In hindsight it was a mildly entertaining experience, but at the time I was freaking terrified! That being said, I'm proud of myself for driving to this demon location with it's freaking weird roads. It feels good to work on your resolutions. This is definitely a step in the right direction. Let's hope the progress doesn't end here :)
BTW, if anyone is curious, I used the "Waze" GPS app on my phone. It took me on some freaking weird ass roads, but it ultimately got me to my destination. I think I have to play around with it before I can fully trust it with on a solo trip somewhere.
Crippie's Tippie - Allow yourself extra time when driving to new places, helps factor in the whole "YOU CAN AND WILL GET LOST" thing
I don't know about you guys, but HOLY CRAP I HATE THIS WEATHER! The pressure's been changing like crazy, thus making me a very achy little cripple. I've been pretty damn useless over the past couple of days. I go to work, and then go home and snuggle with Glenn the heat pack, that's it. We're supposed to have snow and ice tomorrow, and I am definitely feeling it. Yeaaaaahhhh... moving is not fun right now. On the bright side, my pain medications have kicked in so I am temporarily a very happy camper.
Just a friendly reminder to all my cripples out there facing similar wintry conditions... SHARP OBJECTS ARE YOUR FRIEND! Ice picks on your cane... DO IT! Those ice-grip things for your shoes, go for it! The last thing we need is a downed cripple on the ice. Just be careful and be safe y'all.
In other non "OMG I HATE MOTHER NATURE SO MUCH" news... my guinea pigs are evil little bastards. Apparently while I was at work they all got together and formulated a plan. First, they would scream until my grandmother gave them salad. Then when my mother got home they would start screaming for salad again without telling her that they had already eaten. Their diabolical plan worked and they got double salads tonight. Needless to say the food comas were adorable.
It's a good thing they're cute, what can I say. They're cute, evil, well-fed creatures ;)
Crippie's Tippie - Seriously, put spikes on ALL THE THINGS!
