Crippie Takes Woodstock!

Hello Dearies!

To those of you who guessed that the special groovy place was Bethel Woods, the site of Woodstock, you guessed correctly... MAZEL TOV. I virtually give y'all a special brownie ;)

I went to the legendary site for the final performance of "Letters To Daddy", an anti-bullying musical my family has been involved with for about 18 months. I've seen the show mmmmaaaannnnnnyyyy times but I have to say that this performance was AMAZING. I'm so proud of everyone who worked their butts off to make it to Bethel Woods, y'all were incredible.

Letters To Daddy Banner Out Front

While I was there I also had the opportunity to check out the museum. I'm a bit of a history buff, and a lot of a folk music buff... so this was right up my alley!

Inside the museum

Hippie Bus that doubles as a projection screen, groovy

ARLO!

It was pretty damn awe inspiring to be at such a monumental location. There was only one Woodstock, there will never be another concert like it. I could still totally feel the good vibes from that place! Kinda hard to believe I've never been to Bethel Woods before, especially since it's a relatively short-ish distance away from me. Now I want to see each and every concert they have there... but I'd be perfectly content with solely seeing an Arlo Guthrie concert (it's on my bucket list)! Fun Fact: my dad had the opportunity to go to Woodstock in 69, but he opted to work instead. It says he made a lot of money :D

Woodstock! Yasgur's farm is past the white tents.

Me thinking about the hippies that were probably tripping in that very spot over 40 years ago

All and all I'll say Thursday was pretty damn awesome. Tired as all hell when I got home, but it was 110% worth it. How often do you get to visit one of the most important sites of the 60's? Hippies will always trump hip pain ;)

Speaking of hippies, my grandma celebrated her 80th birthday on August 29th and my grandpa's birthday was today. He would have been 82 today. Love you Grammy, miss you Grumpy <3

Crippie's Tippie - Study your history, for those who do not learn from it are doomed to repeat it. Peace.

Crippie Gets Trolled By Several Small Animals

Ello Everybody, I hope all my readers are keeping safe with the Hurricane/Tropical Storm

Yup, it's another one of those "Lol, I can't sleep so I'm blogging at 3 in the morning" kinda days. Go figure, I can't sleep on a day that I really should be getting a good night sleep, oh wells. And why should I be getting a good night sleep? What's so special about tomorrow (today, whatever)? I'm not gonna tell y'all just yet, but I will say that I'm going to a super awesome groovy place tomorrow and I'm very excited.

In the meantime my pets have been trolling for the past two days.

First let's start with the doggies. Angel and Helen went to the vet and needed to be sedated for a few hours. Angel is a 20 pound Lhasa Apso. It's pretty safe to say that she HATED her vet experience as she tried to kill the 3 people trying muzzle her. Once they finally knocked her out her teeth cleaning went well. When she woke up she was higher than a kite. She was an oddly snuggly puppy during the drive home and the remainder of the night asleep on my Grandma's couch. Today she woke with a general demeanor of "WHERE AM I... also... I'M SO HUNGRY". Angel was still pretty loopy today, she was rolling around on the floor, whacking into walls, sleeping in random places, all that fun stuff. She'll probably be back to her old self tomorrow, but in the meantime she's a silly puppy.

Helen is a 7 pound shih tzu. She also thought that killing the vet would be a wise idea. Once they sedated her, her cleaning went off without a hitch. When she woke up she was also higher than a kite. She would sleep, smile, scream at nothing, and occasionally crash into something. The funniest part of her adventure is that they needed to shave part of her legs. Angel had to be partially shaved too... but she isn't a little runt like Helen. Helen is now known as "Chicken Legs" and "Shih Poodle".

Last but not least, the guinea pigs. Mama Pig managed to scare the crap out of me today. Before I tell y'all this little story there is one thing you need to know, guinea pigs usually sleep with their eyes open... at least a little. I went to check on the pigs and I see Mama Pig sleeping peacefully, a little too peacefully. She's flat, her eyes are closed, she's not moving, I don't see her breathing, and her eyes look kinda greyish white. I stand there for a second and think "OH MY GOD SHE'S DEAD". I rattled a bag of treats, SHE DIDN'T FREAKIN' MOVE. Now I was realllllyyyyyy thinking that she was dead. Then I poked her and thank goodness she woke up, but she gave me the biggest stink eye that practically said "Bitch, I WAS SLEEPING". Thanks Mama Pig, you managed to scare the living daylights out of me. You win. Oy vey, I guess I need to remember that older pigs tend to be deeper sleepers.

Crippie's Tippie - Senior pigs are assholes, also shaved dogs are humorous 

You Have Until Midnight

Ohai Everybody!

I hope all my crippled comrades had a marvelous Monday and are having a terrific Tuesday. Today is gonna be a slightly busy day at my house because both Angel and Helen are getting their teeth cleaned, and they need to be sedated.

While this doesn't sound pleasant, they get a ride in the car and some pretty sweet drugs, so on their end it could end up being a very good day ;). The funny thing (to me anyway) is that the vet called to remind us that they cannot eat or drink anything after midnight. I dunno... I think it's cute that they get the same treatment as humans.

That being said, I HATE thinking about the no food/drink after midnight rule, especially when we are closing in on Fanny's removal. Why? Because whenever midnight rolls around on that night before surgery, it doesn't matter how much I've had to eat prior... I feel hungry, my mouth gets dry, AND there are always a bunch of commercials on TV for food and restaurants. After a few hours, the nerves plus the lack of food/water make me sick. Its a rather unpleasant feeling to say the least. Do y'all feel the same way the night before a surgery? Am I the only one who dreads midnight?

I do have a few coping mechanisms to help me deal with this rather craptacular feeling. First, I either brush my teeth or gargle something. It definitely helps with the dry mouth. Second, while I can eat I drink a crap ton of water, and I don't eat anything overly salty. Third, sometimes I take a tranquilizer before midnight so I don't have to worry about these feelings in the first place.

Oh well, in the meantime I'm gonna try and forget about that feeling and just focus on the puppies for now. They're probably gonna kill us when we don't provide them with noms tomorrow morning ;)

Crippie's Tippie - Regardless of how much you hate the no food/drink after midnight rule, DO NOT BREAK IT!!! 

Be Preparrrreeeeeeeedddddddddddd

Woot! Lion King reference!

Greetings to all my lovely readers, hope y'all had a swell Saturday. I got in some more polio crutch practice today, it's starting to get easier. My pace is increasing and I don't have to constantly look down to make sure my footing is good. Since this is coming along nicely I kinda need to start figuring out the next challenge... the stairs in my house. Thankfully I have railings on both sides of the steps, I just need to figure out the best way to maneuver myself. It shouldn't be terrriiibblllllyyyy difficult, and I do have a plan B if I can't get up the stairs on my own... essentially someone would have to hold my waist to help distribute my weight and possibly help lift me up the stairs.

Some people have asked me if I prepare this much for all of my surgeries, and why do I prepare this extensively for surgery. Well, first no I don't always prepare for surgeries like this. Mainly because some surgeries haven't required it. A general rule of thumb for me is "If Crippie can't walk... Crippie needs to practice". As to why do I put this much effort into preparations... years of experience have taught me the importance of it. For my first surgery I went to to physical therapist who taught me all the basics of using a walker. We thought that was sufficient. Lol... nope. We couldn't have anticipated all the problems we encountered for the first 72 hours. I was in too much pain to walk, so mom and dad had to find a way to bring me in the house. They both had to carry me. This caused another problem of "WHO IS GONNA OPEN THE DOOR!". Once I was inside we had to figure out how I was gonna get up the stairs. Once everything got settled we had a now legendary problem of "How are we gonna get Crippie to the bathroom". Why is it legendary? Well... I had to use the walker to get to the bathroom (which hurt like a mofo) and I needed helped sitting down, AND my leg needed to be elevated. Let's just say in the midst of all this I wound up being dropped in the toilet.

With each surgery we became better and better knowing what we would need to do and how we needed to do it. Being prepared and being ready for surgery makes the recovery period sooooooooooooooooooooooooo much easier. By anticipating the challenges now, like how am I going to get up from my bed without using my butt muscles, we can take the time to clearly and rationally think about what's needed and what we can do to fix it. In the end this takes away so much stress and anxiety for all parties involved. Of course there will always be unknowns for any surgery, and for those instances we just take it one step and a time and we try not to freak out. Freaking out leads to things like dropping people in toilets ;)

Oh, as promised to make up for my short post yesterday... PICTURES OF ANIMALS!!!

Helen climbing my leg 

Helen looking cute in between climbing my legs (hard to believe she's blind, right?)

Nellie wants food

Mama Pig wants food, also look at them chompers

Frida wants food, and she wants it NOW

Aggie DEMANDS food with an insanely loud WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK

Maggie gives begs for food

(FYI Angel doesn't like having her picture taken, I need to get some good ones of her)

Crippie's Tippie - DOUBLE RAILINGS ALL THE WAY ALONG THE STAIRS! Seriously, everyone should have them. You never know when someone will have trouble walking.

Crippie (Tries to) Walk The Line

Hola!

I hope all my crippled comrades had a fabulous Friday. I got home from work at a decent hour so I got in more practice with my "polio crutches". Building up the strength in my arms a verrrryyyyy wise decision to make. If I wasn't doing this I would definitely be struggling post-op. It feels like it takes the rest of all eternity to get from point A to B currently, I don't even want to think about how much that would suck struggling to walk while dealing with post-op pain 0.o 

I do have some tippies for y'all who might have to practice using a new mobility aid. Play music, preferably something with a beat so you can move with the music and get a steady pace going. "We Will Rock You" makes for an excellent pace setter. Of course pump up music like "Eye of the Tiger" could also do splendidly. At the moment I'm doing laps up and down my driveway so I can get used to walking for an extended period of time. As the surgery draws nearer I'll practice more in my house so I can master navigating it. Also, don't be surprised if practice tires you out... it's basically a work out. And as always, stop if it's really painful to practice. If you have no clue what you are doing or what do expect, see a physical therapist, they'll help show you how to move and all that jazz. 

In other pre-surgery prep news I've scheduled my pre-op appointment, and I'm still not nervous about this surgery. I know the first week will suck a lot, but I'd rather deal with a week of hell than a lifetime of Fanny. 

Well, that's about it for tonight folks, I guess I really tired myself out practicing. I'll make it up to y'all with piggie and puppy pictures tomorrow... I SWEAR.

Crippie's Tippie - The Eye of the Tiger is the greatest pump up song EVER

Cripple Shares Some Awesome Linkies

Hello Friends! 

Man, I really need to get back into a regular posting schedule. Sorry I didn't post anything Monday or Tuesday, I guess I was rather tired. 

Over the weekend I FINALLY got to watch "The Hunger Games", oh my goodness I loved it. Surprisingly the animals enjoyed it too. Helen and Aggie were sitting on the couch "watching" with us. Aggie enjoyed some of the sounds and purred at random parts. Helen (who is completely blind mind you) seemed enthralled with the movie. Actually she just loved the soundtrack. Her tail would wag whenever some intense "someone is getting killed" music would play... silly puppy.

So, I was roaming around the interwebz earlier and found a blog that has compiled some fantastic etiquette lessons for cripples and normals alike! Here's the links for my favorite posts...

- Things you shouldn't say to a disabled person

- How to act around cripples with visible illnesses

- How to act around cripples with invisible illnesses/mental illnesses/learning disabilities

- How to help a cripple out

- Handicap Accessibility 

I'm rather fond of that site. Super informative and very easy to understand, gotta love that :D

Crippie's Tippie - If y'all don't want to click the links the "Too Long: Did Not Read" version of everything is simple... treat people as people, not as cripples.

Crippie Is A Pretty Pretty Princess

Ohai Everybody!

LESS THAN A MONTH UNTIL FANNY IS REMOVED... YAY!!! Today I started practicing walking with my "polio crutches" as my father has lovingly dubbed them. I walked up and down my driveway for about half an hour, varying non and partial weight bearing as I went. Considering I use one crutch every day I didn't think two crutches would be a huge adjustment. Lol, I was ever so wrong. It took me foreeevvvvveeeeerrrrrrr to get down the driveway. My pace picked up eventually, but couldn't help but be reminded of "The Devil Wears Prada" while I was attempting to walk...

I dunno about y'all, but I lurv me some gifs with funny quotes :D

Moving on, I figured I'd answer a cripple question tonight. Well, it's sorta a question anyway. One thing I've noticed is that since my disability is somewhat visible people just assume that I am terribly self-conscious and have no self-esteem. I don't understand this logic. What, just because my body is riddled with tumors I'm supposed to hate it?

Yup, I'm going on a picture spree! Back to the subject, yes MHE has definitely caused some skeletal deformities. My body isn't perfect, but who's is honestly... oh right... NO ONES. I recognize that there are not so fantastic portions of my body, but I'm not emotionally invested in them. Just accept your less than fabulous features and roll with it. My legs aren't great, but I've found pants and longer skirts disguise them. My arms are a wee bit short with some visible tumors on my upper arms, t-shirts fix that problem. I'm the shortest person in my family, meh, apparently that will make me seem younger which will be very much welcome as I get older. I look at my body in the same way I look at life itself, focus on the good parts. For example, I have a tumor right by one of my nails. A little over a year ago that tumor split my nail. Instead of being bummed about having my naturally long nail cracked right down the middle I ran with it and covered that sucker up with nail polish. Actually my hands and my nails are one of my better attributes, so the nail polish highlighted the awesomeness of these features, it also helps down play the tumors on my fingers. 

That's my most recent nail design, can y'all spot the cracked nail? It's the middle finger... damn near impossible to tell, right! When I see this picture I don't focus on my tumors or how my ring finger is crooked, I see my snazzy manicure which I did all by myself. At the end of the day, I can't change my less desirable features... so I accentuate my positive attributes, and I know I have them.

Why yes Regina and everyone who seems so shocked to learn that my self esteem is not in fact down the toilet. I feel like a pretty pretty princess, as should every women. Cause let's face it ladies... whether you're a cripple or a normal we're...

Crippie's Tippie - If a picture is worth a thousand words, then a moving gif is worth a zillion! 

Also, if any of my crippled comrades are also using nail polish to hide split nails and such, check THIS place out, if you join their polish of the month club, use the code COLOR2012 to get your first box for a penny! You can always cancel after that ;)

Surgery Pre-Gaming

Greetings!

I hope all my readers had a fabulous Friday. Mine went pretty well, I went to work and I managed to get home before another massive rainstorm. Luckily I was able to just lie down with my heat pack before and during the storm so the pain was rather manageable.

I don't know if I've mentioned it, but in one month and one day I'll be having Fanny removed. While I am beyond happy about this event, I have to remember that I am having hip surgery, and I need to prepare for that. What do I have to do? The first thing I have to do is practice walking with two crutches. Me thinks I won't be able to put weight down on my leg for two weeks or so, so I need to make sure that my arms are prepared for the task at hand. I usually use a forearm crutch on my right arm, so that arm is pretty strong, now I just have to make sure my other arm is ready for task. If you're gonna be having a surgery that involves using a new mobility aid afterwords I totally recommend practicing walking with those aids BEFORE your surgery. It's not a great idea to try out those new crutches when you are in pain and higher than a kite. Also, walk around your house to make sure that you can. I hate using my walker in the house because my house is just not built for walkers, lots of tighter corners. I have to walk sideways when going into my bathroom, not fun.

We're also making sure that we have all the other little things that I will probably need while recovering, at least for a few days. These things include a toilet seat lift, one of those nifty breakfast trays so you can eat in bed, etc. We figured out where I'll be situated in my house for those first three days of hell after surgery. I'll be living in my room because of it's location to the bathroom, height of the bed, proximity to others, and comfort. I try to see that there are several trash cans in the rooms for those first few days of recovery... cause that's when I tend to get sick.

Since Fanny is located right around where a waistband would be, I had to take into consideration that I will probably be wearing a crap ton of dresses and high waisted skirts during the first few weeks of recovery. As far as undergarments go... well... I found some high waisted things that will suffice.

Yeah, I know I might seem very giddy about this whole thing, but I'm realistic about the whole surgery process. I know how much the first few days are gonna suck and I'm ready for it. I've got 10 prior surgeries worth of experience and know-how to help me get through this one.

Crippie's Tippie - I cannot stress the trashcan tip enough, have one trash can for trash, but have another for... ya know... not trash. 

I'm Still Not Afraid

Howdy Y'all! 

It's almost August 16th, and y'all know what that means right? It means that in a mere one month and two days I will be bidding adieu to Fanny the Ass Tumor. If it sounds like I'm excited, that's because I am. I cannot wait for her to be gone. I wonder what it will feel like to have her out, I'm sure my sciatic nerve will thank me. 

As I've said before, I'm rarely nervous in the weeks prior to surgery, even when I'm not particularly thrilled about the surgery in questions. There would be times when I would get a little uneasy though, mainly when I would get the forms for the surgery in the mail, or getting my pre-ops done, etc. Well, yesterday I received the forms for my surgery... instead of thinking "Eh crap, surgery" I thought "YUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSS". Lol, just as I was typing that Fanny sent a shooting pain up my spine. Maybe she doesn't like that I'm saying bad things about her ;) Bring it on, you won't be my problem for much longer!!! 

In guinea pig news, the Mama, Maggie, Nellie, and Frida are continuing to bond. Maggie is so happy to have company that her appetite has increased dramatically. When she was alone she hardly touched her hay, now she'll nosh on it throughout the day. She's starting to grow on the rest of the group, her introduction is actually going a lot smoother than Nellie's intro did. I'm pleasantly surprised with how well this has gone, and I'm kicking myself for not doing it sooner. 

In dog news, Helen went to the vet a few days ago for a check-up and some vaccines. While she was a very good girl the shots hurt her shoulders and they made her verrrrrryyyyyy sleepy. Helen is a lazy bum to begin with, so this just made her even more tired. How tired do you say? Well.......

She fell asleep while walking to her dinner. Helen is feeling much better now, but that was probably one of the cutest damn things I've ever seen in my life. Also, how trippy is my kitchen floor. Gotta love the 70's! 

Alas, I should probably head off to bed now, I've got another busy day ahead of me tomorrow.

Crippie's Tippie - try to see the good things in every situation. On the dark side I'm having surgery, on the bright side I will finally be rid of Fanny! 

Four's Company

Salutations!

The Quartet wants to thank everyone who called them adorable. Phase Two of the introduction phase is going quite swimmingly. Maggie had a rough day yesterday with lots of tears, but today she made a complete 180. She was wandering around the cage, eating, drinking, hanging out with her new buddies, etc. She seems very excited about the new living arrangement. Nellie, Mama, and Frida aren't exactly as enthralled as she is, but they tolerate her. One thing I've noticed with the piggies in general is that they are happier when in larger groups versa just pairs. When Mama and Frida were in a cage by themselves they would constantly bicker, Frida would stand on Mama's face to get attention and just be an all around asshole. Once Nellie joined the mix they were all visibly happier. Just goes to show ya folks, unless your pig is a freak of nature like Aggie, the more the merrier.

To those of y'all wondering how the lone wolf is doing, she's very content. Aggie's always been a bit of loner, she seems much more relaxed now that Maggie is no longer stealing her hay.

In cripple related business, I was rather achy today. I think I might've pulled a muscle in my bum during yesterday's introduction (I had to bend down to move piggies). Nothing a little heat won't cure but still, weird. I'm also contemplating obtaining one of those heated chair massager things for work. Me thinks it could help my back and bum. Can any of my lovely readers recommend any good ones?

Fanny probably had a role to play in today's pulled muscle (she rubs against that one). This might be my first surgery where I am really, really, really excited about having it. Also, I found out that I can't keep Fanny in a jar once she's removed. Alas, I guess I'll just have to stick to pictures ;)

Sorry for the short-ish post, I'm super tired and I've got a long day ahead of my tomorrow. Night y'all!

Crippie's Tippie - Pigs are very social creatures, they like having oodles of friends