Monday, November 28, 2011

NHBPM- Say Whhhhaaaaaaaaaaa


Over 5,000 blog views... HOLY MOLY! You guys are seriously awesome.
It looks like the last three blog prompts are gonna be very entertaining. Today's prompt is... Say WHAT?! What’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve heard about health or your condition. Was there any context? What did you think at the time you heard it – and what do you think of it now?
I've heard some dandy things about my condition. I've been asked if my condition is a form of dwarfism (I'm 5' 3" btw), I've been asked if I am dying, I've been asked if I'm sterile (which was realllyyyy creeeeeppppppyyyyyyyyyy), but today I'm gonna focus on one of my most "LOL-worthy" conversations
The Context- I am in my apartment, on campus in college. One of my roommates is about to go out with her friends. One of her friends is a douche-bag. He is a an annoying little twerp who acts like he is God's gift to mankind. He also likes to pretend that he knows everything. He notices my cane and asks me why I walk with it. The conversation goes as follows...
Crippie- I have a genetic disorder
Douche-Bag- Oh? Which one?
Crippie- Multiple Hereditary Exostoses 
Douche-Bag- I've heard of that
Crippie- How the hell have you heard of it?
Douche-Bag- My mom's a nurse, I know these things. It's related to Cystic Fibrosis.
Crippie- No it's not. Cystic Fibrosis is completely unrelated to what I have. MHE has to do with bones, CF mainly has to do with mucus membranes.
Douche-Bag- No, they're related
Douche-Bag- Yes they are
Douche-Bag- My mom's a nurse, I know these things
Crippie- I've had this disease for over 20 years... I know these things more! 
Douche-Bag- So... how do they treat it? Chemotherapy? 
Crippie- Ummm... nooooooo. That's chondrosarcoma, bone cancer. Not a genetic disorder. I thought you knew all about my illness?

The douche-bag continued to try to "out-cripple" me by showing me his nerve damaged finger. I then told him both my legs have severe damage and RSD. He then said "I feel sorry for you" and then left. Dick. General rule of thumb normals, don't try to out cripple a cripple. You will not win. We will laugh at you once you leave. Also general rule of thumb, don't say "I feel sorry for you" say "I'm sorry you have to go through that" something that doesn't evoke real pity. What did I think at the time I heard it? Well, once the Douche-Bag left me and my other roomies were basically like "WTF?!?!?!?!" I was pretty impressed at my ability to out-cripple him and call him out on his BS! What do I think of it now? Looking back on it I think "Lulz... douche-bag".

Crippie's Tippie- If you want to ask a cripple about their illness, be polite and don't be a wise ass.

This post was written as part of NHBPM – 30 health posts in 30 days: 

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